Made of Fail
by Koizumi Romi
Summary: Tallant and Romi looked up at the clear blue sky, six year-old Naruto between them. Romi caught her friend's eye and grinned. Being suddenly thrust into the Naruto-verse...was the best thing possible. They'd change it: make it better. IbikiOFC AnkoOFC
1. Prologue

**Made of Fail**

* * *

_Prologue_

Every moment that passes, choices are made.

A pathway sprawls in a long, winding chain, branching off in to trillions of tiny little paths – each leading to a different future.

No one, from the highest kami to the lowest human, consciously makes every little decision – shall I suddenly jump up and punch the wall, or continue sitting and reading? Each moment new paths become evident, new doors open, while others are lost forever. Nothing can ever truly break these limitations on the consciousness – one cannot choose to suddenly stab a knife through his own chest while doing something completely different and not thinking of it a second before.

Huge choices, however, are made consciously, with our being aware of everything happening as it happens.

About two hundred years before the start of our story, a single woman made a serious decision, one having more far-reaching consequences than one could ever imagine.

The woman sobbed quietly as she held the two infants. One was sleeping soundly, the other wide awake and watching everything with those innocent brown eyes that the woman could swear understood everything she was doing. A tall, slim figure standing next to her laid a hand on her shoulder.

"It is time," it said somberly. The mysterious woman next to it nodded and straightened up, laying the babes on the floor. She brought both of her hands together as though she were praying or was in the middle of a clap. A blindingly bright flash of yellow light erupted from the woman, and then –

Nothing.

* * *

"Taaaaaaaaaaaallaaaaant!" a short brunette called out, waving her hands wildly in the air. "Saaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrraaaaaa!" The two aforementioned girls laughed at their energetic friend – well, the feminine one giggled, while the other, a curvy and slightly pudgy girl, cackled. "My lesbian!" she called out, throwing her arms wide to envelop the brunette in a hug. They kissed on the cheek before the brunette turned to her other, feminine friend to do the same.

"How've you been, Romi?" the second girl said, her soft brown eyes dancing in amusement. The tiny brunette, Romi, grinned. "Well," she replied. "My daddy's gonna make us waffles in the morning." Romi was a tiny girl, much slimmer and less…_curvaceous_ than her two companions. She was really quite pretty, but never flaunted what she had. Her long brown hair reached mid-back, and she kept it in a low ponytail at the base of her neck while she wore 80's-style glasses that took up much of her face and distracted from her hazel-blue eyes. She wore boys' clothes on top of that.

Quite honestly, it made her look average. But she did that on purpose – she was quite a private person in reality, and hated it when people stared.

The one who'd called Romi 'her lesbian' clapped her hands. "Yush! I love your daddy's waffles! They make my tummy go 'bbmphllffff' with joy!" Her name was Sara, and she often spoke in a gravelly, deep voice that Romi called her 'troll voice'. She was a centimeter or so shorter than Romi, with short, curly hair that exploded from her head in corkscrews. She had small, brown eyes with glasses that magnified them slightly, thick lips, and acne that popped up all over her cheeks and chin, but didn't seem to annoy her. Sara wore loose black leggings that reached the ground, a loose shirt, and a baggy, but thin Ed Hardy sweater – her signature look.

The last one was Tallant, and she was the only feminine one out of the three. Not only was she pretty, with olive skin and soft, shoulder-length brown hair, but she flaunted what she had. With a few centimeters of height on Romi, she was the tallest of them all, with highly noticeable curves and a little bit of plumpness all around, giving her a soft, angelic look.

As for why the three were getting together…well, they were having a sleepover!

Tallant and Sara plopped their bags on the floor in Romi's basement, where they were sleeping. "I call floor!" Romi said cheerfully, already in her pajamas despite the fact that it was only three o'clock in the afternoon. Tallant giggled, while Sara shook her head and sighed. "Yeah, okay, Ro," she said, rolling her eyes as Romi was already across the room, taking her bunny out of his cage to let him run around – next to him sat an empty cage. Her guinea pig had died not too long ago, and they'd buried her in the backyard.

The day passed quickly, and Romi went to sleep first as she was the one who needed the most sleep. Sara and Tallant amused themselves by putting her unconscious body in different poses as she slept like a rock. Soon, however, Tallant too hit the sack.

Sara, however, stayed awake and silently waited until the two were in a deep sleep before she ruffled through her bag and pulled out something that had a cylindrical shape. Uncharacteristically quiet, she began to peel off the outside of the cylinder, rolling it out like a roll of toilet paper. She cut her thumb, let a drop fall on both girls' slumbering heads, and then put her hand on the scroll. And blindingly bright flash of yellow light erupted from her, and then –

Nothing.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, yeah, I know, short chapter, and yeah, yeah, I know, I'm rewriting it **_**again**_**, but honestly, the plot bunny is evolving like a fucking Pikachu. That's it for the prologue, and hopefully Plot Bunny will stop at three evolutions, since it's already at level, like, fifty.**


	2. Well, Fuck

**Made of Fail**

* * *

_Chapter One  
Well...Fuck._

Tallant awoke first, unused to the sudden chill she was experiencing. With a soft moan, she pulled her sleeping bag over her head to block out the sun. Wait… Sun? In her still-hazy state of mind, she struggled to understand why there was a sun in Romi's basement. After a few minutes, however, she was able to wake up enough to realize that she was not in Romi's basement, or that she was dreaming. It wasn't cloudy, like a dream; it was much too vivid. And…the forest canopy above her looked…drawn. Sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes to make _sure_ she wasn't dreaming, she blinked a bit. Then she screamed.

A tall, slim figure emerged from the tree line. It was Sara. But…Sara was short and curvy…right?

With a yawn, Tallant flopped back down. "I need my coffee before I can deal with this," she moaned. Unexpectedly, Sara didn't smile. She almost looked…apathetic. "So you're awake," she said shortly. "I was wondering when you'd wake up. You got knocked out from the travel. I'm not surprised Romi slept through it. She's like the dead." Sara nudged Tallant with her foot a little. "Get up. I've got coffee."

"I've decided that I'm dreaming," she said, her voice muffled by her sleeping bag. The now tall-and-slim Sara narrowed her eyes. "That would explain why you're not still freaking out," she admitted. "But you're not sleeping. I'm going to explain everything once Romi gets up." Silently, Tallant propped herself up and gratefully accepted the coffee, taking a sip…and spitting it all over Tall and Thin Sara. "I wasn't expecting that," she muttered.

"It's made from dandelion roots," Tall and Thin Sara said. "It's really not coffee, more like a substitute, and I can't get milk and sugar out here." Tallant made a face, but drank it anyway. She needed the caffeine before she could properly freak out.

It ended up being maybe another hour before Romi could wake up. Tallant stayed quiet the entire time, her mind having been turned off in shock.

As soon as Romi woke up, she knew something was wrong. She shot out of her sleeping bag, stumbled, and ran headfirst into a tree before she woke up completely. Her facial expressions changed as her mind worked – she immediately dismissed the whole 'it's a dream' idea, as it took a lot of effort in her real dreams to figure out she was in a dream, and as soon as she did, she woke up nearly immediately afterwards. It was also obvious she wasn't in her house (duh), so she turned to Tallant and Tall and Thin Sara.

"Why are we in a cartoon?" she asked shortly. Tall and Thin Sara stood up. "Good, you're awake. Now I can explain." Romi, relaxed and sighed, letting her head sag down as she sat next to Tallant, clutching at the girl's arm.

Tall and Thin Sara sighed. "I'm not really the Sara you know." Romi snorted. 'No shit,' she thought to herself. Narrowing her eyes at the tiny brunette, Tall and Thin Not-Sara continued. "In actuality, I have no single 'true' name, but I have been called many things over the years. I can't tell you exactly who or what I am, but I'm sure you won't care after what I'm about to tell you." She paused to allow this to sink into their brains.

Romi scoffed. "We don't care who you are, dumbass," she said. "You're our best friend!"

For the first time since they awoke, Not-Sara smiled. "I'm sure your opinions will change soon enough." She allowed the two to get comfortable, Tallant on her sleeping bag and Romi _in_ her sleeping bag, before she began her tale.

"As you may have figured out, I'm the one who brought you here. I won't tell you the 'how' yet, but I will tell you the 'why'," she said, silencing them with a wave of her hand. "And if you want the full story, don't interrupt me. I'm in no mood to deal with whining right now – or ever.

"In the beginning, two hundred years before the Rikudō Sennin and the rise of the modern ninja, there existed two clans with powerful kekkei genkai. They, like the rest of the ninja of the time, worked as mercenaries as they farmed the land. These clans were the Yin and Yang, and they were constantly at odds with each other, competing for territory and clients. In effect, they were about as friendly to each other as the Uchiha and the Senjū clans, but those two came later.

"The Yin and Yang clans had a secret, though, and that was what their kekkei genkai actually were. The clans were actually hanyō, and their kekkei genkai was such that no matter how many times they bred with full-blooded humans, their hanyō blood would never dilute. Being half human, they were shunned in Makai, the home of all demons, and, had any humans known they were half demon, would have been shunned in this world as well. Of course, even though they had the same kekkei genkai, they were birthed from demons at opposing ends of the spectrum, making them natural enemies. Add this onto the fact that they had the same kekkei genkai in the first place, and you've got instant distrust, one always expecting the other to stab him in the back."

Not-Sara took a deep breath. "The leader of the Yin clan at the time was…my best friend. She took both her heir and the heir from the Yang clan and sent them to a different dimension, entrusting them to my care. I stayed with the two, manipulating events to that they would, through several rebirths, become good friends with both each other and me before I would bring them back here when the time was right – which happens to be, as of now, two hundred years after any remaining traces of either clan died out."

Romi and Tallant's eyes widened at different times, each when they figured it out. "We're from the Yin and Yang clans," Tallant whispered. Not-Sara grinned. "Bingo. You're a Yang, Romi's a Yin. Oh, and Tallant and Romi aren't your real names, of course – your original names were in Japanese."

"What was the point of this?" Romi said angrily, having been silent up until that moment. "Why the hell did she send us away? And why are we back here now?" Not-Sara shrugged. "Calm down, Ro," she said. "You guys know I'm not good with the whole maternal instinct bull, but she knew that the clans were going to get wiped out anyway and she wanted to save you two."

Romi wasn't about to let up, though. "If this is true, then how come we both have our kekkei genkai after being reborn? We've got completely new genes by now!" Not-Sara smiled again. "You're smart as ever, Ro," she said lightly. "I had a part in that, allowing you to retain your kekkei genkai even after being reborn. But I think that's enough Q&A for now. Right now, we're going to get you two settled. You're going to live in this forest for quite a while."

Neither Romi nor Tallant talked after that, each absorbed in their own thoughts, but Sara seemed to have reverted back to her not-so-normal self, have a coronary at bugs, chattering away mindlessly, and jumping around, cackling madly.

They spent the day gathering food, making crude weapons and altogether making their little territory habitable. Really, Sara couldn't have picked a better place for them to live. A waterway was within walking distance, with a natural hot spring in a cave a little ways upriver. They were far enough away from the river that they wouldn't drown if it happened to flood, with grass all around and tall redwoods surrounding them – not as big as the natural energy-enhanced giants of the Forest of Death, but big nonetheless. There was game everywhere if you knew where to find it, and the repetitive chirping of the birds was soothing.

It wasn't until sunset that either Romi or Tallant broke the silence. Surprisingly, it was Romi who did so.

"You were wrong," she said suddenly, staring at the fire pit they'd built. Sara and Tallant looked up. "Hm?" Romi looked up. "I said you were wrong. No matter what, you're still our best friend." Tallant nodded in agreement, bringing a smile to Sara's face.

The next couple of days were hell for both Tallant and Romi. Neither had fully wrapped their heads around the fact that they'd never see their families again either, but that was Sara's fault. She kept them so busy that they couldn't think, teaching them kage bunshin (being hanyō, they both had more than enough chakra to do so) and making the poor Bunshin work their asses off to learn stealth and chakra control.

Tallant's chakra control was actually pretty damn good, but her stealth was crap – it was the opposite for Romi. But Tallant did seem to take to the healing jutsu pretty well, while Romi showed promise in fūinjutsu, or sealing. They practiced these every day with their shadow clones, and after six months they were pretty damn good at what they did.

The worst part of this, however, was late at night, if for some reason they weren't dead tired from training and surviving in those godforsaken woods, when they would be free to think of their families and cry. Were they looking for them? Thinking of them? Did they remember them at all? Were they crying too, thinking about them that very moment?

On those nights, the two would cry themselves to sleep.

Romi was having an especially rough time of it. Back at home, she needed medication for a mental disability that manifested itself as schizophrenia, but was in a class of its own. It had no specific name, but she called it 'Anesthesia-Induced Anxiety'. Ever since she was a baby and was put under anesthesia to sew her toe back on (don't ask), she had an anxiety disorder so bad, she made up new worlds to escape to when things got bad – which was all the time.

And now, without her meds, it was back.

Oh, it was easier to stay in the real world _now_, since she understood it and all, but that didn't stop her anxiety levels from shooting through the roof for every little thing. She forgot things constantly, stared off into space, and had panic attacks.

She could control it better now, though – she'd created a seal that sent a stream of chakra into her spinal cord to forcibly calm her if she was getting agitated. Well, perhaps 'create' wasn't the best word. In actuality, she took two seals, mashed them together, and voila! It was painted on the back of her neck, and could be removed only if she wanted it gone.

Tallant's…well, _talent_ grew as she calmed Romi down during the times before she created the seal and whenever her panic attacks grew so great that the seal failed by using her medical techniques to give the effect of the medication she used to take.

Their living area was much more comfortable, since they now had a tepee made of animal skins as their abode with pieces of smoked meat hanging from the ceiling, a fire pit just outside, and kunai and shuriken targets painted neatly on some of the trees around them (Sara had stolen the weapons from some unsuspecting ninja – she never did say how). Romi had been dying to get her hands on something else, something that she could use in close combat, but Sara said that she'd have to wait before she could get a personalized weapon. This caused her anxiety to skyrocket, and Tallant had to calm her down again.

Along with this training, Sara had taken to teaching the two of them Japanese. Seeing as how Romi was already bilingual, she caught onto it a bit quicker than Tallant – even so, they were at about the same level and preferred speaking English…something Sara didn't allow them to do until they learned Japanese; which sucked, especially when they got mad and needed to curse something out.

It was around this six-month mark that Romi first felt _it_. _It_ had actually been growing inside of her for months, waiting for the right time to show itself. And at the six month mark, it decided that its carrier was strong enough. Then it burst free.

It had started out as a normal day – Romi and Tallant woke up and watched the sunrise in silence before warming up their voices, then their bodies. Then they made ninety-nine shadow clones – Tallant had thirty-three work on healing jutsu and thirty-three on genjutsu, while Romi had thirty-three work on stealth and thirty-three on fūinjutsu. The remaining sixty-six clones worked on kunai and shuriken handling, while two originals worked on basic taijutsu.

Both Romi and Tallant sucked at taijutsu, so they had to work pretty damn hard at it – they just weren't suited to the basic style they used, but they knew the importance of having a strong base, so they didn't complain…much.

Around midday they stopped and cancelled all their clones, shaking off the mild headache they were so used to by now, and ate lunch – they'd been lucky enough to find some unfertilized birds' eggs, so they took those out and had small omelets along with their regular lunch of a hodgepodge of berries and flowers. After lunch, they worked on their other weaknesses – Romi in chakra control (by training in minor healing jutsu – if it didn't blow up, she was getting better) and Tallant in stealth.

It was while Romi was practicing her healing jutsu when _it_ burst free. She was working on maintaining her healing jutsu when she suddenly collapsed, her chakra fluctuating wildly, which made her jutsu blow up in her face. Sara held Tallant from rushing forward and helping her sister in all but blood. "Don't!" she hissed. "She's fine. She just needs to be left alone."

Meanwhile, Romi was floating. All around her was darkness. Then she opened her eyes.

She was in space. All around her were stars, burning giants. There were flashes of lightning traveling from star to star, and whenever they passed close enough to her she heard disembodied whispers. Around two of the stars were planets of various colors and sizes, each following their well-beaten path around their chosen sun. Each planet had its own feel as she got close enough to them. One gave her a strong, thumping feeling in her chest, almost as though someone was banging loudly but slowly and steadily on a drum and sent the vibrations to her, letting the beat thump in her chest and send little bolts of electricity down her limbs. It was a big, smooth planet with blue-grey color and traveled slowly in its orbit.

Another planet was smaller and was much closer to the sun, zooming much more quickly. This one was an angry, pulsing grey with different shades mixed in and random flashes of different-colored, bright lights throbbing along its surface. This planet gave Romi a much more anxious feeling, like she was going to have a panic attack. She got away from that planet quite quickly.

All of this, however, formed a galaxy orbiting a black hole. This black hole grabbed Romi's attention the most. It would nearly have sucked all of her presence in, had not another presence grabbed her away, dragging her far enough away to gather her bearings and shake off the yearning. The presence was almost ghost-like, as was her own. Neither of them had a body, as they were simply an invisible cloud of consciousness. The stranger gave off an angry, worried feeling, making Romi's conscious give off an apologetic, guilty vibe. Neither could talk, but communicated using feelings and emotions.

The stranger's conscious seemed to poke at her with a tendril of its mind, and Romi did the same. As soon as both tendrils touched, both of their conscious minds were enveloped in a bright light.

The next thing Romi knew was an aching pain settled over her entire body, focusing at the joints, the spine, and mainly her head. She gave out a light groan and sat up, ignoring how the aching pain turned into a sharp, stabbing pain as she moved. "She's awake!" She heard – or rather felt – Tallant say; it increased the sharp pain in her head enough to make her whimper lightly. The tiny brunette felt a hand touch her head and the pain suddenly disappeared, allowing her to open her eyes without hurting.

She then closed her eyes again with a cry. The _colors_! It made the back of her head hurt again. Had her head not been hurting and had she been more aware, she'd have noticed that this was the first time she'd been able to see perfectly since she got here, having lost her glasses during the inter-dimensional travel.

The hand touched her head again and the pain disappeared. Opening her eyes more carefully this time, Romi looked up into Tallant's worried face. "Are you okay?" she asked worriedly. This time, she clapped her hands over her ears and mewled in pain – this time, her temples hurt. With a sigh, Tallant sent some more healing chakra into Romi's system.

Sara entered her line of sight, the sudden movement making the back of Romi's head twinge again. "You've merged with your hanyō side," she said, answering the unspoken question. "You entered the physical representation of your mind, or your 'mindscape', where it had been locked away since you were forced into your other dimension. Since you got here, it was slowly let out. You suffered no terrible side effects, but you'll be in pain for quite a bit – maybe a week. It'll take another month for the headache to go away, and you'll get migraines if you're too over-stimulated. For now, go to sleep."

And everything went dark again. She wouldn't wake up for another week.

Meanwhile, Tallant had her gently laid down in their tepee and put her in her sleeping bag, standing over her worriedly, like a mother hen. Her shoulder-length brown hair was tied in a low ponytail with a piece of string, but a stubborn piece of hair stayed in her face, letting her fiddle with it – which she did.

Sara gave a small smile and put her hand on the smaller girl's shoulder, making her jump a little. "She'll be fine," she said. "Her brain's just trying to adjust. Her chakra control's gonna be shot to hell, though." Tallant didn't laugh.

Her smile falling, Sara guided Tallant out of the tepee.

True to Sara's prediction, Romi's pain was gone when she awoke a week later, and the migraines didn't stop for another whole month. After the month was over, Romi's training schedule doubled as she needed to learn how to use and control her new demonic powers. Her demonic chakra tempered her anxiety enough that it didn't interfere as much with her life. Her looks also changed a bit as well – her teeth, once chipped and ground down, became whole again and her canines lengthened, as well as her hair growing longer and sleeker. The most noticeable change was the fact that she had three whisker-like marks on each cheek.

But she needed to relearn chakra control, which sucked, and was now twice as hard as her chakra levels had doubled. She hadn't had the time to enter her mindscape since she'd merged with her hanyō side, either.

* * *

As their first year of their new life drew to a close, she and Tallant found themselves accepting their new role – they were still heartbroken and lonely from being ripped from their families, but they were able to push these feelings away and focus on their new life. Finally, Sara would let them explore the elemental countries.

They were closest to Konoha, as they were in the Land of Fire, but they decided to visit Takigakure no Sato, the Waterfall Village, first. It barely took a day to get there and when they did, they appraised the front gates. They definitely weren't as grand as the ones in Konoha, but then again, they didn't need to be. Taki took great pride in never having been successfully invaded, being surrounded on all sides by waterfalls, hence the name. If Romi's memory served correctly, the jinchūriki of the Shichibi no Kabutomushi, Fū, had lived here but had been chased out and became a missing-nin. Of course, Romi was the one who knew nearly all there was to know about the Naruto-world.

"Hi!" Romi chirped happily in Japanese, approaching one of the chūnin guards. They looked up at her. "Returning or visiting?"

"Visiting." The first guard showed the three girls to the customs office, where they got through without many difficulties (unless you counted having your weapons and scrolls confiscated until you left a difficulty, but hey, it wasn't too bad) and got a map of the area. Having done some odd jobs around the Land of Fire, they had a bit of pocket money, so they got some clothes other than the pajamas they came with and the animal skin clothing they'd made. Romi was in a black t-shirt and those navy blue pants all the ninja wore, as well as a fanny pack and a bucket hat – she went shoeless unless she needed to go inside, in which case she put on her zori, or sandals.

Tallant had gotten a tight purple t-shirt and the same navy blue pants and sandals as Romi, while Sara simply wore her classic leggings and baggy-but-thin sweater over a loose t-shirt along with the standard zori.

The buildings in Taki were carved out of the rock, hidden underneath the waterfalls that made the village memorable. The sound of rushing water was never too far away, and the place remained lit by some sort of illusion that made the rock ceiling look like the sky. Half the village was aboveground as well, with the buildings made out of the same stone from belowground, but they were both the same – it had a city-like feel despite its small size, and everyone was bustling around. Romi and Tallant, not having been around this many people in the past year, quickly shied away from the action and walked out to a less-populated area, shadowed by Sara as their 'bodyguard' of sorts.

In this less-populated area, the three could slowly walk back into the heart of town, getting acclimated to the city once more as they conversed. Sara was being her not-so-normal self, acting like a child with a mental disease on a sugar high (which she was, in a way…just not the sugar-high child part. She was more like a mental disease), so it was up to Romi and Tallant to keep her in line. Needless to say, the trio gained a lot of attention.

They stayed for three nights in the trees in the training grounds. On the third day, they ventured upon the orphanage, where they were greeted by the smiling faces of the workers. "Are you here to visit or are you looking to adopt?" the receptionist asked. She was a plump blonde with a smiling face and rosy cheeks. Her name tag said 'Kyoko'.

"Actually, we are here to adopt. We'd like to adopt a certain person."

"Do you know his or her name?"

"Fū." Suddenly, the receptionist's smile dropped. "Oh, you don't want to adopt _her_," she said in a hushed voice. "She's…dangerous. Wouldn't you rather a _normal_ child?" Romi shook her head, still keeping her pleasant smile. "No thank you, we'd like to see Fū, please." The receptionist nodded slowly and picked up a microphone. "Karin, would you please bring Fū to the front desk, Fū to the front desk," rang out over the intercom.

Sara, Romi, and Tallant sat down in the waiting area for maybe two minutes before bringing down a green-haired child with orange eyes and tan skin who looked to be about one year old. "Kyoko, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, we have three young ladies here who are looking to adopt." The woman went slack-jawed. "What? Who'd want _this_?" she asked in mild disgust. Suddenly, she was interrupted by a short girl with long brown hair that went to her waist. "Hello!" she chirped. "May I please hold Fū-chan?"

The woman slowly handed over the green-haired child and Romi held her close. "Sara, could you help me with the paperwork?" she said absent-mindedly. "I'd like to adopt her."

Karin and Kyoko went through the paperwork in a sort of daze, their brains having been shut off due to the fact that the monster had actually been adopted. They never noticed that the three adopters didn't live in the village – or in any for that matter. They'd get severely chewed out later – not that it was technically their fault, Sara mused as she dispelled her mind-numbing genjutsu. At least this way Fū could live a happy life.

* * *

The jinchūriki of the Seven-Tailed Rhinoceros Beetle dozed softly as Romi held her in an animal-skin sling that hugged her to her front. She, as well as Tallant and Sara, were running through the desert in an attempt to reach Sunagakure no Sato by the end of the night, before the sun came up and beat down on them. The freezing desert nights and scorching hot desert days had given Fū a bit of a shock at first, but she was quickly taken care of, warmed up, cooled off, hydrated, and changed as needed. Even Sara, who was deathly afraid of babies, seemed to be smitten with the young girl…except when she needed changing. That was a task Romi didn't mind doing at all.

Fū seemed to be unsure of all the attention she was getting, but decided to go with the flow. Adults were so _weird_.

Suna's customs office was much more…intense, shall we say, than in Taki, but again, they got through without too much trouble. The first thing they did when they got inside was fill their canteens up with water from the pump and then fed Fū – she really liked the fruit they kept from the forests – before going to the playground, where they let Fū down to play in the sand. Romi kept an eye on her new daughter as Tallant and Sara scanned the area for Gaara.

It had been quite simple to get Fū, as she was adoptable, but Gaara would be an entirely different story. They'd be lucky if they simply befriended him. Tallant was quite worried about this whole thing. How the hell were they going to be able to even get close to the kid? As the overprotective, full-time mother hen of the group, she was a natural worry-wart. Someone had to take up the mantle. Taki would probably be after their new little green-haired baby, the Kazekage would be immediately wary of anyone befriending Gaara, and .

That was when she caught sight of a little boy with brownish-red hair and dark circles around his eyes clutching a teddy bear. Taking a deep breath, Tallant got up and walked over to him before crouching down until they were eye-level. "Hello," she said softly. "I'm Tarantu. What's your name?" The little boy's eyes widened and he looked at her quizzically before answering with an eager smile. "Gaara."

"Well, then, Gaara-chan, would you like to come play with me? My friends are being boring." She winked at him and the two began to play together.

Gaara was ecstatic. He was playing! He was playing with someone! And she wasn't running away from him, either! He was simply vibrating in happiness! For once in his life, he had someone who wasn't terrified of him or running away – other than Yashamaru, of course, but even Yashamaru didn't play with him, saying that it would be 'inappropriate'. But now, now he was actually playing! Gosh, it was so much better than sitting by himself and watching others.

All too soon, the sun set and Yashamaru came to take Gaara home. The effeminate man took Tallant aside.

"I'm glad to see that Gaara-sama is making friends," he said with a smile. "I haven't seen you around before. Are you new here?" Tallant smiled at the elder man. "Yes, we just arrived today. We're visiting." She looked over at Gaara, who was playing with Fū and smiling like there was no tomorrow. "Gaara-chan is very sweet. He doesn't seem to be too socially adept though… It's almost as though he's not used to playing with others."

Yashamaru glanced at Gaara out of the corner of her eye. He and the little green-haired girl seemed to be getting along very well. "Actually, that's true," he said, his smile returning to his face. "People don't like Gaara-sama very much, as he's a bit…unstable at times. However, he doesn't seem to have shown any negative signs yet today, so I'm glad. His father, Kazekage-sama, was quite displeased with his recent behavior."

Tallant gave Gaara a soft look, which didn't go unnoticed by the sandy-haired blond. "Poor thing. If he doesn't have friends, of course he's going to be unstable. He needs a lot of love, of which I can see he hasn't been getting much. I'm sure you've been showing him love, but he needs someone to play with as well, not just a guardian."

Fū had taken a great interest in Gaara's sand, which swirled around her in thin ribbons that she tried to grab. Romi and Sara were keeping a close eye on the proceedings, ready to step in if it was getting too dangerous. Tallant smiled at their antics. "Gaara-chan seems to have quite the mastery over sand, and at such a young age, too. Is he a prodigy, or is this simply the product of being trained intensely?"

Yashamaru grew quiet as he observed the young boy through half-lidded eyes. "He… It's a little bit of both, I guess. He was born with this…talent, but still has trouble controlling it sometimes."

"A kekkei genkai, then?"

"Something like that, yes." Tallant nodded and smiled softly as Yashamaru called Gaara over. He ran up to the two adults. "Gaara-sama, it's getting late. Your father will worry if we're out too long." The small boy nodded, and then turned to Tallant a bit shyly. "Will you…be here tomorrow?"

Tallant nodded, smiling. "Of course, Gaara-chan – you'll remember what I told you, right?"

"Hai!" With a chuckle, the olive-skinned girl kissed his forehead, making Gaara's eyes widen in shock. "Good. I'll see you tomorrow, then." Then she and the rest of their small family left, all waving goodbye to Gaara and Yashamaru.

The turquoise-eyed boy slowly raised a hand to touch the spot in his chest that always hurt, a persistent ache that turned sharp whenever he saw someone look at him in fear or anger, or when he saw people expressing love to each other. Not only had the pressure eased, but he felt a sort of bubble in his chest, making his entire body feel light and airy. It wasn't a bad feeling; in fact it felt very good. It was just weird, seeing as he'd never felt it before in his life.

"Y-Yashamaru?"

"What is it, Gaara-sama?"

"…N-Nothing."

* * *

Sara, Tallant, and Romi and Fū sat in a circle in one in one of Suna's many training grounds. "Gaara's very sweet," Tallant said softly, staring off into space. "I'm really quite worried about him. We need to find a way to help him control this kekkei genkai of his." Knowing that the Kazekage probably had spies keeping an eye on them even now, they had agreed beforehand that they'd keep any suspicious activity to a minimum – and that involved not speaking about Gaara's 'sandy little problem'.

As Tallant continued thinking, Romi was trying to get Fū to fall asleep. "Fū, musume, baby girl, sweetheart, please go to sleep. 'Kā-chan needs to sleep, and she can't do it if you're too hyperactive." The green-haired baby didn't seem to hear her, though, instead attempting to escape her adoptive mother's grasp to go explore. Eventually, Romi let her go, but kept an eye on her to make sure she didn't go too far, which she immediately did and had to be brought back.

"See, this is why I'm terrified of babies," Sara said matter-of-factly. "They're fucking…devils in disguise."

"Oh, you be quiet, Sara. And don't you dare curse in front of my baby – you're setting a bad example." Tallant ignored the two as they continued to argue, instead thinking about the day's events. The Kazekage would have definitely heard about Gaara's new playmate by now, and was probably formulating a plan of action concerning them. This was especially worrisome, as they had no idea as to what the man would do.

It was with these uncertain thoughts that Tallant fell asleep.

The very next day found Romi haggard (as usual since she'd gotten Fū, since the little jinchūriki _refused_ to sleep through the night), Tallant worried, and Sara…well, Sara. They returned to the same park as yesterday to find Gaara and Yashamaru already there and waiting. As soon as the little brunet/redhead caught sight of Tallant he rushed over with a grin. "You're here!" he exclaimed, wrapping his arms around her legs. "You're here, you're here!"

"Gaara-chan!" Tallant said happily, returning the boy's hug, making both a blush and a goofy grin spread across his face. "Did you do what I told you?" Gaara nodded happily. "Yep!" Last night, instead of sitting and doing nothing, he'd taken his new friend's advice and meditated. He'd gotten to a sleep-like state, but since it wasn't sleep, Shūkaku didn't bother him. Also, instead of killing someone in anger, he'd gone back to that meditative state and felt his anger dissipate. The Ichibi went completely silent after that, and he enjoyed a significant decline in their conversations.

Tallant ruffled his reddish-brown hair and the two began to play. Yashamaru kept a very close eye on the proceedings, gathering more information on their interactions for the Kazekage. This pattern continued for the rest of the week. Then the full moon approached.

Romi and Sara made sure Tallant knew what she was doing. This was the most dangerous time for her, but in a way, she had the most likely chance of surviving this encounter, since the bond between them would most likely keep Gaara's awareness from wavering. The night of the full moon, Tallant made her way to Gaara's room and found him trembling on the roof, his sand floating and trembling in the air beside him.

Tallant approached slowly, and it was a testament to the intensity of Gaara's fight with the Ichibi that he didn't notice someone was there until she laid a hand on his shoulder. Instead of instinctually killing the person who surprised him, the sand demon immediately quieted and its host was able to reassert his dominance before passing out from exhaustion.

The brunette took the now peacefully-sleeping Gaara back to the training grounds, careful to keep skin contact between them. Sara had, a week before, informed Tallant of her clan's demon ability when she finally merged with her hanyō side – the Yin family had the power of light and life, which, when in contact with the bijū, which were creatures made of hate and darkness, burnt and weakened them. At the moment, however, she could only keep a monster as weak as the Ichibi at bay, and only for a few hours at a time – even when she used all her chakra. Thank goodness Romi and Sara let her use their chakra.

She only hoped that she could pull off their plan.

Gaara awoke the next day a bit groggily, trying to figure out what was happening. His mind was much to fuzzy for him to formulate thoughts, so he had to wait a few minutes as he fully awoke, not being used to waking up at all. He sat up and felt something slip off of him. Someone had covered him with a blanket…and he wasn't in his room…or on his roof…and…

Oh, no. He fell asleep, didn't he?

Now fully awake, Gaara jumped up, tripping over his feet a little before regaining his balance and looking around in terror, expecting to see destruction all around. Only…he didn't see that at all. The village was completely whole. That was when he noticed Tallant, half-asleep and lying beside him. "Gaara-chan," she said drowsily. "Did you sleep well?"

"Wh-what…" he started, but Tallant had fallen asleep. A few feet away from her lay a sleeping Romi and a fully-awake Sara, who smiled at him. "Tarantu-chan has a special power that helped you sleep peacefully. She's out of chakra right now, but your 'friend' won't be bothering you for a few more hours, at least."

Gaara stared, wide-eyed, at Tallant. "She…" The child was in shock, but very little of it was because of the fact that he was able to sleep. All of the stories that Yashamaru had read to him indicated that what she did was something that only a mother would do for her child. But…he wasn't her child… Did she want to be his mother? He'd always wanted a mother…

That same bubbly feeling he'd become so familiar with in the past week resurfaced, this time stronger than ever. A lump formed in his throat, and he found he couldn't speak. When he tried, all that came out was a hiccup – then the tears began to flow.

Sara simply turned away as Gaara cried himself out on Tallant, allowing him some privacy as she kept an eye on Fū, ignoring the many Suna ninja hidden (poorly, in her opinion) around the area, keeping their eyes on the small family.

It took some time for Gaara's tears to dissipate, but he eventually calmed down and leaned his head on Tallant's chest, feeling her heartbeat like a metronome, soft, yet strong and steady. He…felt happy with it. It soothed him, this new feeling, and it grew stronger by hearing her heart beat in time with his. "Okā-san," he whispered, feeling it out. "Mother." He liked the feeling of the word on his tongue much more now that he had a solid image to go with it – it made the bubbly feeling in his chest vibrate with joy, instead of giving his chest the empty, aching feeling he'd come to know so well.

All his life, he'd been taught by the best, having his head filled with the same thing – how to best kill a person, where their weaknesses were, the placements of their organs, et cetera. The heart, he'd always been told, was nothing but a muscle, an important muscle, but just a muscle nonetheless. It was protected by flesh, bone, and muscle, but if you could get to it and make it stop working, he could effectively kill a person. It existed as nothing more than an organ used to pump blood around the body, keeping things alive and working correctly.

So…why did everything always seem to revolve around the heart? It hurt when he saw others get the love he so desired for himself, it felt achingly empty when he looked at a picture of his dead mother's smiling face, it constricted painfully when others ran from him in fear, and now…

Now it expanded and filled him with such warmth that he didn't know what to do. This foreign feeling had grown inside him for about a week now, but this time it enveloped him so strongly that he could do nothing but listen to this organ, this organ he knew of only through its basic function, and sit in silence as all he learned about this 'heart' fell apart in his very being, and be rebuilt again in a completely new way.

"Okā-san…"

* * *

**A/N: That's the end of the first chapter! Go me! Yeah, I know you guys hate me, but…I don't give a ****crap! Review if you want (reviewreviewreviewreview), but remember I eat reviews. So if you don't review, I starve to death, and if I starve to death, this will never get updated. So it's your choice.**


	3. A New Path

**Made of Fail**

* * *

_Chapter Two  
A New Path_

The Kazekage sat behind his desk, wearing the traditional Kage uniform. His desk was clear of any and all distractions, and with the black mask on over the lower part of his face, his eyes seemed that much more intense, especially since he seemed to be trying to bore a hole through Tallant with his gaze. She was sitting in the Kazekage's office all alone, with only him and his ANBU guard, one in each corner of the room. Tallant was struggling to maintain eye contact with the man while sitting as still as she could stand it. The only sound was the ticking of a clock she couldn't see at the moment.

To take her mind off of the scary man in front of her, she counted the seconds that ticked by and letting the sound of the ticking clock soothe her – a trick she'd learned from Romi, surprisingly.

Out of nowhere, a single kunai flew towards her, and she used her reflexes, honed by over a year of training with Sara, to dodge a lethal blow, gaining a deep cut on her upper cheekbone for her efforts. Then she felt a light presence on her left arm. Not taking her eyes off the Kazekage, whose hand was still in the air from throwing the weapon, she saw strands of dark brown hair spread across her arm and the floor. "You cut my hair, you bastard," she snarled through clenched teeth.

Amusement lit in the Kazekage's eyes for a moment. "Yes, you'll do. Yashamaru, you may carry on with the proceedings." The light-haired man opened the door and walked in, bowing low to the Sand's leader and beckoning Tallant over. "Tarantu-san, I apologize for the suddenness, but I will explain it all to you now. Please follow me." With one last glare leveled at the mildly amused Kazekage, Tallant followed Yashamaru, eyeing her new haircut in distaste.

"Yashamaru-san," Tallant said grumpily as they walked out into the hall, sticking a bandage on her cut. "What the hell was that all about?"

"Please don't curse, Tarantu-san, it's unbecoming."

"I think this situation damn well deserves it!" she exclaimed. "That bastard tried to kill me! What the hell is his problem?"

"Please, Tarantu-san, be quiet. Kazekage-sama had his reasons, I assure you." Tallant pouted cutely, crossing her arms over her chest – not under them, since that would make them pop out and she didn't want that kind of attention – making Yashamaru chuckle at her before leading her into a room. "Tarantu-san, Kazekage-sama has had me watch over your interactions with Gaara-sama as of late, and due to your actions yesterday, wishes to present you with an offer."

Tallant nodded to show her understanding.

"As you obviously know, Gaara-sama is the container of the Ichibi no Shūkaku, and is quite unstable because of this fact. Seeing your ability to control the sand demon, he wishes to have you instated as a kunoichi of Sunagakure no Sato and have additional training in order to be Gaara-sama's personal minder." Tallant cocked her head to the side, halting in her attempts to pin her now much-shorter bang back with one of her bobby pins. "But aren't _you_ Gaara-chan's personal minder?"

Yashamaru smiled. "No, I am simply part of his personal medical team. My…no, our task is to keep him from any harm – I only have the most direct contact with him. We have no way to keep Shūkaku at bay."

Tallant nodded. "So why the hell did the Kazekage throw a kunai at me?"

"Language, please, Tarantu-san." He smiled. "Kazekage-sama wished to test your abilities, and I believe you went over and beyond his expectations by not only not fighting back immediately, keeping an eye on him for his next move, falling into a defensive stance, and getting angry at him not for almost killing you, but for cutting your hair. To him, it shows that you do not fear death, and that is a strength all Suna ninja must have."

Once again, Tallant nodded. "All right, I understand. I still don't like him, though." There was a pause. "If I am to become a kunoichi of Sunagakure, I don't want to have to do any seduction missions," she said softly, her eyes on the ground. "Not only would I freak out and ruin the mission, but I'm really quite shy and don't think I'm suited for such a thing anyway. That's my only request."

Yashamaru smiled warmly. "I'm sure that won't be a problem," he said. "If you like, we can inform Kazekage-sama of your decision and begin to review you immediately…Tarantu-kōhai."

"I'd like that…Yashamaru-sempai."

* * *

Romi was exhausted. Fū had been driving her ragged lately – actually, it had been going on since she'd adopted her, but the hyperactive little brat had been getting worse lately.

Much worse.

"Fū-chan, musume, sweetheart, darling little baby girl, please stop running." Fū, thinking it was a game, giggled and ran even faster from her exhausted adoptive mother before her attention was drawn to a small beetle flying through the air and chased of after it. This distraction enabled Romi to snatch the little girl and hold her squirming body against her own.

Neither noticed the insect burrowing into Fū's clothing.

* * *

Tallant took it back. She hated this. Yashamaru, despite his gentle demeanor, was _evil_. It had started out all right, he'd tested her out and saw that she was adept with medical techniques, genjutsu, and chakra control, but her stealth was amateurish, her taijutsu was even worse, and her ninjutsu was nonexistent. All she knew were medical techniques and the shadow clone technique. This, Yashamaru said, was unacceptable if she wished to be Gaara-sama's minder.

He'd decided to test her elemental affinity and she found that she was a water-type, which was okay, as Yashamaru knew some water techniques.

He began to train her in ninjutsu, seeing as how she had practically zilch in the way of offensive jutsu. He'd let her look some up…then he ran her into the ground and squeezed every bit of energy she had. Upon the end of the day, when Yashamaru said that she could go home, she passed out.

Yashamaru shook his head. Oh, well. She'd learn.

Of course, he continued to train her for the rest of the week, having her use Kage Bunshin to learn ninjutsu and beating the crap out of her. If nothing else, she learned to dodge.

After knowing that the basic taijutsu was _not_ working out for her, Yashamaru decided that he'd teach her a different style – Aikido, The Way of Harmonious Spirit. It focused on using the momentum of the opponent to take them down with minimal damage, which was perfect for Tallant – as a Yang, she was mentally unable to harm anyone, and instead used her power to heal. It was the pitfall of all of the Yang. They simply could not bring themselves to hurt others, and because of that, they were seen as weak – but their medic skills were second to none.

Yashamaru, not knowing any of this, tried to introduce her to iaijutsu, but was severely disappointed as Tallant shied away from the sharp blade. He sighed as he watched the girl practice the kata, a determined glint in her eyes. She would need to learn break through her kind instincts if she wanted to be a true kunoichi – killing came with the job.

But…maybe it wasn't so bad to have her innocence with them. He had to admit that she brought a smile to all of the hardened medics she trained around, and her determination was contagious. Medics who hadn't bothered to improve for years decided to get better after seeing her practice.

She was causing a ripple in Suna, and soon it'd turn the entire village upside-down.

Gaara, meanwhile, was bored. His Okā-san had been taken away for special training; although now that he thought about it, it wasn't so bad. She would be made his official minder and work with Yashamaru and the others in taking care of him. She'd stay with him and be a real kunoichi of Suna.

He was happy about this.

His okā-san had taken some time to explain basic emotions to him every so often, and sometimes she'd quiz him on them. She said that he'd only pass once he'd experienced all of the emotions she'd shown him.

The first was sadness.

Next was happiness.

He'd passed those tests quite quickly, as he was now able to quickly define those emotions and label them as he had them. He found that if he took a more systematic approach to his emotions and filed them correctly as he'd been taught all these years, he'd catch on quicker.

The next tests had included trust and doubt.

This one had been harder. He was told that trust was an emotion that allowed one to put his care into another's hands and be okay with it, knowing that the other would not harm him. Doubt was the opposite, as it was an emotion that made one hesitant or even flat-out refuse to willingly put his care into another's hands.

Soon he realized that he felt 'doubt' around most of the village. He did _not_ trust them.

His okā-san, however, and Yashamaru… He trusted them both.

He truly couldn't wait until his next test. Four emotions swirling inside him were put to rest, but there were countless more, whizzing around inside his body and making his head and chest hurt. In fact, he almost wanted to keep going and continue labeling his emotions, but he had promised his okā-san that he wouldn't try to do that on his own, since he might mislabel them.

He didn't want that.

His tenant, however, was acting unusual. He was quiet more often than not now, and had been since he had first met Okā-san. He guessed that labeling his emotions and identifying the positive ones made an impact on the Ichibi.

Of course, that didn't mean that he could sleep without Okā-san's help – and even she could only help him with it if she wanted to sleep the rest of the day. So he made her limit herself to once a week, despite her protests.

At night, she'd come into his room and read him a story before kissing him goodnight. These moments made Gaara very happy.

As a result of his newfound happiness, he smiled more and stopped killing others. He'd even started a better relationship with his onē-san, Temari, although his onī-san, Kankurō, didn't seem to trust him all that much. He could see why, as he wouldn't trust himself so easily either. However, even his onē-san had been easing into the whole 'trust' thing more. They still didn't trust each other – it would be a while before they did – but they were trying, and that's what mattered. He only wished his onī-san could give him another chance like Onē-san did…

He sat on a swing and held his teddy, fiddling with it and making it move with his sand. Boredom was, unfortunately, an emotion he'd become quite familiar with, since with those long, lonely nights he didn't have much to do. At least now that he learned to meditate, he could go into his mindscape, which was a beautiful place. Nothing but barren sand all around, as far as the eye could see, the cold desert night and the stars and moon in the sky shining brightly in the darkness…

Beautiful.

But in the midst of this dark beauty was a well-lit oasis, a veritable jungle in the middle of his desert. Animals of all kinds were there – all kinds, except the humans. He was the only human in his mind. But he wasn't lonely, far from it. He loved to listen to the sounds of his little jungle, from the monkeys screeching to the bees buzzing, and loved to taste the juicy fruit, plucked so easily that it veritably fell into the palm of his hand before he bit into it, so filled with juice it trickled down his chin.

His mind made him happy, and everything in it smelled like his mother. His mother's scent was beautiful and woody, like that of a sapling and that weird 'grass' stuff Yashamaru had shown him just after it rained.

* * *

Inside Fū's body, several beetles had hatched. Their mother had gnawed her way in through the skin, and now they went to work inside of her, completely unnoticed by all, even their host herself.

* * *

It was the new moon. Gaara enjoyed this time of the month more than any other, as it was when Shūkaku's power was the weakest. Now, with his tenant being quieter than ever, he could barely feel the bijū. He was very happy, especially since his okā-san had been released from her intense training. Her ninjutsu skills had jumped from nonexistent to low chūnin thanks to her use of shadow clones, but she tended to prefer the protective ones. It didn't matter, though, since her job would be to protect him, anyway.

In any case, she was back with him. And that's what mattered.

After her training, his okā-san's body looked slimmer and more muscular. If he had to compare it to someone else's, he'd say she was the closest to the legendary Sannin, Tsunade, but her breasts were smaller. Her skin was tanner than other people's, but not nearly as dark as the people from up north, in Kumo and Iwa. She was more in-between, with olive-colored skin, dark brown eyes that were shaped like Tsunade's as well, and soft, dark brown hair that fell to her shoulders in the same way Yashamaru's did, only longer. She was only slightly taller than the average twelve-year old, maybe one hundred-sixty centimeters. She still retained her softness, however.

Of course, Gaara would be happy with her if she was uglier than anyone else.

It was nighttime and his okā-san had gotten permission to go outside three kilometers out of the village during the night, with the rest of his medical team and several ANBU, along with Chiyo, the elder, as well as his own father, who only came to oversee the operation. His okā-san's sister, Kuro-onē-chan, had come as well, leaving Fū-chan with Sara (a strange name, if you asked him).

Their purpose? To fix the Ichibi's seal when its power was at its weakest.

Tallant – now legally 'Tarantu' – stroked Gaara's hair soothingly. "Don't worry, Gaara-chan. Once this is over, you won't have to worry about fuzz-butt ever again." Gaara giggled. "I'm not worried, Okā-san," he said. "I know you won't hurt me. I trust you."

Tarantu looked at his shining face a moment before smiling softly and kissing his forehead. "All right, then," she said. "Just remember, you're the most important part of this plan. I'm _very_ happy that you trust me, but right now, you need to trust," she touched the tip of his nose with her index finger, "yourself."

Gaara looked at her determinedly and nodded. "I won't let you down," he declared.

Yashamaru went through a few hand signs and slammed his hands on the ground, making a small pedestal of solid earth rise up out of the sand, just big enough for Gaara to lie down comfortably. Romi stepped forward with ink and a paintbrush before letting Gaara lie down topless on the pedestal. Her hands worked quickly as she drew a complex design on Gaara's forehead, trailing off onto his stomach, arms, and the pedestal. Chiyo checked to make sure everything was in order before nodding her consent.

Now it was Tarantu's turn. She stepped forward, put her hand on the center point of the design – the left side of Gaara's forehead – and the both of them closed their eyes. Taking a deep breath, she channeled all of her chakra into the seal.

The chakra around her hand turned visible and pure white, slowly turning the design on Gaara's skin pure white as well. As Gaara screamed from the pain – of both the sealing and his bijū's anger at being sealed – the now-white seals along Gaara's skin and the pedestal quickly receded into its center point, at which point there was a bright flash of golden and white chakra, a loud scream as black mist began to leak out of Gaara, Shūkaku's angry roar…

Then all was still.

After a moment, Romi caught Tarantu as she fell, the medical team swarming in to check Gaara. Both had fainted.

Romi carried Tarantu away from the busyness around Gaara and laid her down, delicately brushing her sweaty hair away from her forehead and dabbing at her face with a wet washcloth. "You did well today, 'Nē-san," she muttered. "You did well."

She looked up as the Kazekage approached, caught his eye, then quickly averted her gaze and bowed.

"At ease." Romi relaxed and nodded before wiping her tired eyes. "Was there something you wanted, Kazekage-sama?" she asked politely, looking up at him. He nodded. "I wish to thank you and for you to give Tarantu-san my thanks when she awakens. All of Sunagakure owes the both of you a great debt."

Romi blushed at the praise. "It was nothing, Kazekage-sama. On behalf of myself and Tarantu, I wish to thank you for not only letting Tarantu stay in your beautiful village, but also for allowing us to help Gaara-chan. Both of us are quite fond of him."

The Kazekage nodded and walked off, allowing Chiyo to approach her. "You both truly are something else, aren't you?" she said. "I've never seen that kind of chakra before in my life, and your seal work is something I've never seen before. If I might ask, how did you get the knowledge of that seal?"

"My friend Sara has a plethora of forgotten scrolls filled with information, Chiyo-obā-sama," she said, bowing her head in respect before looking up with a twinkle in her eye. "You can try to ask her where she got the scrolls, but she'll probably be too busy infecting people with her idiocy to answer."

Chiyo looked at her a moment before cackling. "Oh, dearie, you truly are something else."

* * *

It was the end of their stay in Suna, and Romi, Sara, and Fū were standing at the front gates. Fū had learned to walk – well, walk was not the right word for it, but there wasn't a word for something faster than 'sprint', so 'walk' it was.

"Mu! Mu! Mu! Mumumumumu!"

Oh, and she learned how to say 'nothing'.

Romi gave a little warning growl and Fū immediately stopped running and walked back to her adoptive mother's side meekly. Apparently all it had taken was for Romi to be a bit more aggressive and ask her more…animalistic side for help. Namely her wolf side. Which involved gently knocking her pup down and growling in warning.

Hey, it worked. Ever since she'd merged with her hanyō side, she'd grown more animalistic – so far, she'd unlocked her Red Wolf demon personality and her Bornean Bay Cat demon personality. She had only one left to unlock, but before that she'd have to work to master their instincts and techniques.

Romi put her hand on her daughter's head and smiled sadly at Tarantu and Gaara. "I guess this is it, then," she muttered. "You'll write, right?" Tarantu, who was holding a crying Gaara's hand, smiled back. "Of course. I won't forget, unlike you." The two girls laughed. "You know what to do, right?"

Tarantu nodded, and the two gave each other a one-armed hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I'm gonna miss you," Romi said. "I'll visit you both, all right?"

"And we'll visit you."

Sara grinned. "C'mon, Ro, we're gonna be late." With one last goodbye, the two crying friends parted. Then Fū broke away from Romi and streaked towards Gaara. "Mu!" she said, gesturing for him to lean over. "Mu!" Gaara, curious, did so – and got a clumsy kiss on the cheek from her, making him blush. "Mu!" She shoved something into his hands and ran back to her mother.

Tarantu couldn't stop the goofy grin from spreading across her face despite her tears. "It looks like you've made another friend, Gaara-chan. Go on, see what it is."

Gaara slowly opened his hands. Lying in them was a small beetle.

* * *

Romi was depressed. Tarantu had been her reason to live. She had picked her up when no one else would in those damn woods. For the entire year they'd both depended on each other. Losing her best friend was surreal – then it got depressing.

Her beloved green-haired daughter's giggling made her look to her left. "Mu!" she said happily as she poked something sticky with a…stick. This brought a smile to Romi's face. She might not have her best friend by her side at the moment, but she did have her daughter.

"Kimi wa aishitsuru, Fū-chan. I love you."

* * *

Having already stopped in the Kawa no Kuni, the Land of Rivers, before visiting Suna and Ishigakure no Sato, the Village Hidden in the Stones, right after, Sara, Romi, and Fū's next stop was Iwagakure no Sato, which took maybe a day and a half to get to – they'd thought about just going straight to Konoha, but decided that making a few cameo appearances in the major hidden villages would be beneficial.

Iwa was quite…grey. It was surrounded on all sides by treacherous mountain ranges, and all the buildings were tall and made of stone with pointy roofs. On some of the flat rooftops, some greenery grew, but other than that and the tall but thin waterfalls, it was barren. Power lines connected many of the buildings.

Sara grinned as she looked around. "It's been forever since I've been here," she said happily. Romi looked at her oddly. "You know, you never told me anything about you…and I know you're not human…"

Sara laughed awkwardly. "Aha ha… Well, I'm not telling right now, so…" She glanced to her left. "Oh, look, it's the Tsuchikage!"

"Yeah, like I'm gonna fall for –,"

"Move your feet, you young scamps."

"…You were telling the truth." Sara grinned and leaned way over to look at the Tsuchikage in the eye. "Hey, Ōnoki! Been a while, huh?" The short, pudgy old man paled. "Not you…" Romi looked at her quizzically.

"You two know each other?" The Tsuchikage – Ōnoki – and Sara both nodded. "I've known him since he was born. Heck, I trained him for a bit, too." Ōnoki sighed wearily. "I was hoping you'd be dead by now," he said gruffly.

"You know I can't die, you old coot."

"One can always dream." By now the three of them were attracting a lot of attention, due to the fact that…well…they were talking to the Tsuchikage in a friendly manner.

Although it may also be because they rarely see their kage in public.

Romi cocked a brow. "Okay, now I _have_ to know what's going on." Sara grinned. "I'll tell you later."

"When is later?"

"Later later." Romi narrowed her eyes at her friend, but shrugged off the curiosity as she wiped her daughter's runny nose with care. "You're mean."

"I try, love."

Later, the trio was sitting at a dinner table with Ōnoki. Fū was being fed carefully by Romi, who, despite living with the youngster, still seemed to look at her as though she'd just first laid eyes on her, but still with the love of a mother to her child. Ōnoki, although never a family man, found himself remembering the good times he himself had had with that damn woman as his sensei. Heck, though he'd never admit it aloud, she was like a sister to him. He truly did care for her.

"So, otōto, little brother, how come you were walking the streets? I know you don't make appearances all that often. You're always stuck in here."

Screw it. She was annoying as hell.

"I _do_ make an appearance every once in a while to let everyone know I'm still alive and kicking. If a village thought I was dead and hadn't named a successor, we'd be attacked." Sara rolled her eyes. "You always were a bit of a weirdo," she said. "But you've got a point."

"Oh, _he's_ the weirdo?"

"Shut up, Ro."

"_Language_, Sara."

"And you don't care if I say 'weirdo'?"

"We're all weirdoes. You and I take it as compliments. I want Fū-chan to be able to as well." Sara nodded. "Makes sense." Ōnoki rolled his eyes. He never did understand girls.

Having let the trio stay overnight, Ōnoki had breakfast with them in the morning. Normally he wouldn't be doing this at all, since his old friend was right – he really was a bit of a hermit. He rarely stepped outside anymore, to say nothing of having visitors who didn't hold positions of power. But since one was a childhood friend and the others were with her, he decided to divert from the standard procedure, even going so far as to having breakfast with his guests. Normally his guests only had dinner with him, and rarely did they stay overnight.

On his way to his office (to do that accursed paperwork), he was stopped by his old friend. "Chikurin-san," he said, for that was the name she'd used at the time. "Is there something you needed?" Sara nodded. "Yeah, I was wondering if you'd let us meet Han. You see, the little girl who's with us…" she trailed off and Ōnoki nodded in understanding. "All right. I'll introduce him to you." Then he narrowed his eyes. "I'm not doing this because I like you or anything, you know."

Sara laughed. "I know, otōto. I know."

* * *

Back in Sunagakure, Tarantu was quite comfortable. She missed Romi with all her heart, but quickly filled it with love for Gaara. She still needed to train, but that was only every other day. The rest of the time, she stayed with Gaara.

Gaara was doing terrifically. He was sleeping twelve hours a night thanks to his new seal, which took the form of the kanji for 'love' on the left side of his forehead. The Ichibi was actually quite pathetic when it was behind bars. He had actually made the seal into a pit in his mindscape, with an energy field around it. The pit wasn't all too boring, though. Gaara had made sure that the demon was able to fight as much as it wanted, since he was able to conjure up opponents for it to fight. When the fights got too heated he'd get a mild headache, but that was it.

Why was he being nice to his bijū? Well, it was because of the fact that Gaara was 'being the bigger man', as his okā-san had said. By making the Ichibi's tenure as comfortable as possible, he showed that he was able to keep his cool and let things go. Besides, having heard stories about other people like himself, Gaara dreamed of one day being able to fight alongside his tenant – as partners.

The Ichibi had gotten somewhat more intelligent and sane, but not by much. It still didn't want to sit and talk, but simply fight. Gaara once got him to focus by using the powers of his mind. He'd been asked why he'd been so…well…crazy. Shūkaku had simply laughed and said that he had felt like it. Since he was feeling especially giving lately, he also informed his host that the seal wasn't good enough originally, and they had merged slightly. Add that to that crazy monk who'd tried to merge with it years ago, it had been more unstable. Thanks to the new seal, the monk was dead and it was now purely bijū.

Gaara had nodded his thanks and given it some another opponent to tear up; this time it was one that was really a challenge to beat. He'd nearly blacked out from the sudden migraine, but the bijū had been asleep since then and his mind was peaceful.

The insect Fū-chan had given him followed him around everywhere and had grown as big as the palm of his hand. He'd identified it as a rhinoceros beetle, but it had gained the ability to manipulate water after it had eaten some of his chakra. When he'd asked his okā-san about it, she'd taken a piece of paper out of her pocket, given it to him, and told him to channel his chakra into it. It had turned to mud before it froze over so violently it shattered. She nodded, as if she'd been expecting that to happen, and explained that he was a natural water type, but because of Shūkaku's influence his natural chakra and the Shūkaku's natural chakra (sand and wind) fought for dominance. He had a new kekkei genkai.

He'd trained in water-type, wind-type, and earth-type jutsu after that, even manipulating the milk in his cereal into his mouth every morning. Well, 'attempt' was more the word. Most of the time he missed, but he was getting better.

He'd even learned more emotions: fear and anger, surprise and anticipation, worry, guilt, shame, hate…

And love.

Now he finally had most of the emotions inside him put to rest. Whenever he discovered a new one, he asked his okā-san about it and was able to properly file it in the library in the jungle part of his mind. He'd found it amusing that even in the clutter of his mind, he was able to file things away neatly and orderly.

At the moment, however, he was training with Yashamaru. His taijutsu was…quite bad, and it had been brought to his uncle's attention, thanks to his okā-san. He'd pouted at the thought of physical training at first, but she'd sat him down and explained that she wanted him to be as strong as possible so that when he became a ninja, he would stand less of a chance of dying.

She didn't want him to die.

So for this extra training, he was grateful. He had a lot of energy, but it didn't mean anything if his muscles and bones were screaming at him to stop. He just wasn't used to being worked this hard, so he was beyond grateful when Yashamaru signaled them to stop.

"You are improving slowly but steadily, Gaara-sama," he said, "despite taijutsu not being your strong point. You are truly coming along well." Gaara gave him a big smile before running over to his okā-san and collapsing into her arms. "You did very well, Gaara-chan," she said with a smile as she picked him up and held him close to her, letting his head rest on her shoulder. Her heart swelled with love as he wrapped her arms around her, subconsciously clinging. She kissed his seal and left to put him to sleep.

"Kimi wa aishitsuru, Gaara-chan. I love you."

* * *

Han was the jinchūriki of the Gobi no Irukauma, the Five-Tailed…thing. It was technically a dolphin-horse, but 'thing' described it so much better.

He was tall and wore red-plated armor that almost looked like ancient Japanese samurai-wear, but reached up to cover the lower half of his face. Atop his armor he wore a black gi with the sleeves ripped off that he kept his right hand in for some unknown reason. Judging by how much of his body he showed, he had a balance of lithe and bulky musculature. On the back of his steam armor was a furnace that produced his armor's steam. He wore a red kasa, or straw hat, under which hung light-colored cloth. His light brown eyes were filled with hate and anger and were darkly outlined.

"What do you want?" he asked the Tsuchikage gruffly, narrowing his eyes at him. Ōnoki narrowed his eyes right back. "I don't want to see you either," he spat out. "But a friend of mine does, so don't do anything stupid."

Han snorted, but paid close attention as three girls walked in: a baby, her mother, and…

…Holy shit.

"Hey, Han-dan-man-tan-fan-gan-chan-wan!" Han sighed. "What do you want, Chikurin?"

"Aw, can't a big sister check up on her little brother every once in a while?"

"…No." Sara pouted cutely. "You're mean, otōto. Besides, I'm going by 'Sara' now." Then she grinned. "But I brought a new friend to see you!" Her friend, the one holding the child, came up to him and smiled. "Hey," she said. "My name is Kuro Tsukiakari, and this is my adoptive daughter, Fū, the jinchūriki of the Shichibi no Kabutomushi." Romi let her daughter down and watched as she toddled over to the giant of a man.

Fū looked up at him with her expressive orange eyes inquisitively. Then she smiled. "Mu!" she exclaimed happily as she rummaged around in her pockets before coming up with a small insect which flew up and landed on his shoulder as she gave his kneecap an awkward kiss. "Mu!"

Han heaved a sigh as it ate some of his chakra, but his eyes widened as it started to release a small amount of steam and manipulate it. Another 'mu' brought his attention back to the little girl in front of him. She was looking up at him mischievously, her large eyes twinkling with amusement. He looked down at her oddly before grunting and placing the beetle in his gi.

* * *

It was time to leave Iwa, but not before getting an update on the possible whereabouts of Rōshi, the jinchūriki of the Yonbi no Saru, the Four-Tailed Monkey. According to their data, he was last seen in Hi no Kuni about six months ago.

Which wasn't all that helpful, really.

Either way, they left Iwa with the promise that the gates would always be open to them. No doubt their presence was now known in all of the major villages, since it was no secret that they and the Tsuchikage knew each other, and by now it should be leaking that they'd helped fix Gaara's seal. Most likely they were thought to be wandering hermits that had powerful connections and had come out of hiding for an unknown reason – but Romi wasn't very happy about this.

Takigakure would probably be on his tail since she had Fū. They'd either stay on her trail to kidnap Fū when they had the chance, or they'd back off because they were under the protection of the Tsuchikage. It would be difficult to figure out what they would do, and without village walls to protect her, she knew she was in danger. She knew Fū was in danger.

Since they were in such danger, Romi had gone out of her way to teach her daughter how to handle a kunai (she wasn't dexterous enough to throw it yet, but being able to slice someone with it despite the lack of strength behind it would be surprising). Fū had actually taken to it quite well and was currently stabbing the ground with it. The trio was eating their lunch at the moment.

A snapping twig got their attention immediately and Romi was immediately on guard. Both Sara and Fū simply shrugged it off. A red-haired man emerged from the bushes. "Hey, Rōshi," Sara said happily.

"Hello, Chikurin," he said, sending her a smile. "Han sent me a message and told me you'd returned – and you're going by 'Sara' now." Romi, seeing as how Sara was relaxed, sat down again – however, she grabbed Fū and held her tightly, just in case. The newcomer – Rōshi, Sara had said his name was – looked over at her. "Hello. You must be the one Han said was travelling with Chikurin. Allow me to introduce myself; I am Rōshi, jinchūriki of the Yonbi no Saru."

Romi looked the man over critically – he wore a large headpiece with three crown-like ridges and a piece of metal over his nose and cheekbones, as well as a long-sleeved purple shirt and pants with brown armor. Then she smiled. "Hello, Rōshi-san. My name is Kuro Tsukiakari, and this is Fū, my daughter. She's the jinchūriki of the Shichibi no Kabutomushi."

"Mu!" Fū exclaimed in greeting. Rōshi smiled at the youngster. "It's nice to meet the two of you," he said. Romi released her squirming daughter, not at all surprised that she sprinted immediately to Rōshi, dropping her kunai as she went. Crouching down, the redheaded man chuckled as the youngster ran into his arms. He lifted her up and spun her around, making her giggle. Catching her mother's eye, he smiled. "You've got a beautiful daughter."

Romi blushed at the compliment. "Thank you, Rōshi-san," she said with a smile. "It appears as though Fū-chan has something to give you." Rōshi looked down at the girl as she presented him with an insect that flew up to land on his shoulder as she kissed him as well as she could on his cheek. Rōshi felt it absorb some of his chakra, but then he watched as it began to ooze lava from its exoskeleton and manipulate it around itself. "Well I'll be," he muttered, letting it fly onto his finger so he could inspect it more closely. "I've decided: I'm going to travel with you to help Fū out with her mission – I'll help her gain a partnership with her bijū, as well."

And so Rōshi joined their little group.

* * *

**A/N: Aaaand…that's a wrap! Whew! It got really hard to write this by the end, but that may just be because I'm killing my creative juices by having to write a speech. Damn speech…**


	4. Shinigami

**Made of Fail**

* * *

_Chapter Three  
Shinigami_

Rōshi took an immediate liking to Fū, and she to him. Currently, he was giving Romi a break and keeping an eye on the hyperactive young scamp as both she and Sara were out hunting. Rōshi glanced down at the green-haired toddler and smiled. "When are you going to stop the charade, Fū-chan?" he asked.

The toddler looked at him and pouted before taking some clay out of the pouch on her back and eating it. Once she ate it, she began to morph into a slightly older child of four years. "How'd you know?" she asked, crossing her arms and pouting, making Rōshi chuckle. "I work as a partner with Saru, my bijū," he explained. "He's the one who told me that you were hiding."

Fū pouted even more. "…If I look like a baby, no one's gonna hurt me 'cause I'm not dangerous," she muttered, looking away. Rōshi softened. "That may be true," he said quietly, lifting the small girl onto his lap and running his hand through her hair. "However, you're with a family now. You've got a mother who cares for you and would give your life for you. I have seen it in her eyes many times. You're truly lucky to have found someone like her in your life."

Fū looked up at him with her big eyes and nodded slowly. "I'll tell her," she said softly, eating a little more clay and beginning to revert back to her younger form. "Just not yet."

The quad spent the next couple of weeks making cameo appearances throughout the various villages they came across before Rōshi finally convinced Fū to share her secret.

"Sara, Tsuki, Fū-chan has something she'd like to share with you," he said, catching their attentions. Fū seemed to glare at him for a moment before sighing and taking some clay out of her pouch to eat. Romi watched in fascination as her baby girl began to transform into a young child.

"F-Fū…chan?" The orange-eyed girl looked tiredly at her mother. "Hey, 'Kā-chan." Romi looked at her, concern and anxiety written all over her face. "Musume, what happened?" Fū looked down for a minute before speaking. "I can henge real good if I got clay," she said. "An' if I look like a baby, no one's gonna think I'm dangerous." Instead of being yelled at for deceiving her, Fū was surprised to find warm arms wrapping around her.

"Oh, musume," Romi said softly. "I'm so sorry. Did they hurt you there? Is that why?" Fū was shocked. Usually the adults just smacked her around a bit whenever she tricked them – they never willingly touched her unless it was to bring her pain. Her orange eyes softened and she began to cry.

"They were so mean to me, 'Kā-chan," she whispered. "They hit me and stuff and no one ever, ever hugged me 'till you. I'm so sorry 'Kā-chan. I'm so sorry." Romi gently stroked her daughter's hair. "If anyone ever hurts you ever again, musume, I'll send him to the Shinigami myself."

* * *

Sunagakure no Sato, the Village Hidden in the Sand, was currently going into its dry season. The rains would soon stop completely. Because of this, the genin of the village would be sent on 'water runs'. The purpose of these 'water runs' was to go to the nearest still-active river, get as much water as they could, and return to the village to dump it in the wells. The missions were paid for directly from the village funds, so during this time of drought the Kazekage would decide that everyone would have to limit his or her water intake to a set amount.

Tarantu was never called on these 'water runs', of course, as she was busy minding Gaara. This gave her a nice, steady income, though, so she didn't complain. Besides, even if she didn't get paid, she'd still be with Gaara-chan.

At the moment, she was training with Yashamaru as Gaara watched from the sidelines, holding his stuffed bear. Her advancement in her training had currently plateaued – she was stuck at the adept level for her healing, chakra control, and genjutsu while her ninjutsu, taijutsu, and stealth were all stuck at low-intermediate.

Yashamaru seemed to think that fixing her little problem required killing her.

"You've got to move faster, Tarantu-kōhai."

"Stop wasting your breath telling me things I already know!"

"If you moved faster, I wouldn't need to tell you this. Besides, if you've got enough energy left to yell back at me, I'm obviously not pushing you hard enough." Tarantu cursed mentally as she dodged another high-speed, high-powered attack by rolling to the side. She tended to avoid jumping since she learned the hard way that changing direction in midair was impossible unless you had wings.

That lesson had been very, very painful.

Tarantu dodged some more incoming projectiles but was met with a fist to the face, which she just barely ducked. Had she been able to breathe, she'd have yelled at her sempai to stop trying to kill her. But she didn't have the breath, so it was a moot point (but very useful in describing her situation, of course). Jumping over Yashamaru's low kick, she brought her leg up for a chakra-powered kick to his chin, which just grazed him, but still sent his head snapping back as she flew to the wall.

Despite his whiplash, Yashamaru was able to smile at the horrified girl, signaling an end to their fight. "Finally," he said. "Do you know how hard it was to get you to fight back?" Tarantu began to stammer apologies, but was waved off by her sempai. "A Suna ninja needs to find an opening and be on the offensive at times. Unless you were using your Aikido, you were never on the offensive and continued with your defensive strategy – even your Aikido would be useless in a real fight, since more often than not you'd be against more than one opponent and any ninja worth his salt would be able to get out of most bindings. The purpose of this exercise was to get you to break through this barrier and fight back."

Tarantu looked extremely uncertain, holding her hand up to her mouth. "But…I don't like hurting people."

"And if someone were to attack Gaara-sama, what would you do?"

"I'd send him to the Shinigami myself." Even Tarantu herself was surprised at her sharp tone, but she quickly softened it and took a deep breath. "No one will ever hurt my son as long as I live," she said softly, yet determinedly. "This I swear."

Gaara was suddenly at her side, hugging her hips tightly. Yashamaru smiled at the scene. "Then you will be officially known as Yōsabaku no Tarantu, Tarantu of the Preserving Sand Waterfall, hereon after."

'You're just like Onē-san, Tarantu-kōhai. You're just like Onē-san.'

* * *

Now that Fū was in a more trainable form, Rōshi, Sara, and Romi took turns training her – by Rōshi in learning more about her bijū, by Romi in seals and stealth, and the by Sara in just about everything else. Fū took surprisingly well to sealing and stealth despite her high energy levels and was getting a…an okay start with the Shichibi, but in everything else she was quite limited. The rest wasn't bad, it was simply all average for someone of her age. Of course, she wasn't going to be some sort of prodigy or anything – even though she took well to sealing and stealth, they weren't perfect by any means.

Without the big secret holding Romi and Fū apart, the two were able to mend the rift between them that Romi hadn't even known was there. They were now truly like mother and daughter.

As often as she could, Romi took Fū out for walks and taught her how to identify different types of plants by their bark, leaves, stems, roots, and/or flowers, the animals, and the insects of the forest. It was nice to watch them as the both seemed so eager and focused on what they were doing that their eyes lit up with intensity.

Rōshi smiled at the two. He was glad that Fū got the mother he'd never had – and to him, she was a granddaughter.

He and Sara sat and talked as Romi and Fū went out on these walks to catch up on what the other had been doing. Rōshi claimed he hadn't been doing much, but if one were to listen to his stories, he'd done much more than simply travelling around – he'd been in life-or-death situations countless times. Sara didn't disclose much, but she did tell stories of her times with both Romi and Tarantu before she kidnapped them.

Rōshi laughed at these stories and shook his head. "I never thought you'd actually kidnap someone," he said. "I wonder why you did it." He glanced at her to see an expression that seemed strange on her normally insanely happy face. "Sara?"

"I made a promise," she said softly, looking away. "That's all I'm saying."

The silence that accompanied this proclamation was deafening.

Romi and Fū continued to make their way through the foliage, Romi making no noise at all while her daughter did her best not to minimize her own sound. It was good training, although Fū still sounded like a stampeding elephant.

"Look, musume," Romi said softly. "That's a June Beetle. You can tell them by their iridescent, which means 'shiny', exoskeleton, which is the hard shell surrounding the soft body." Fū looked curiously at the beetle for a minute before picking it up. The shiny insect surprised her by attaching itself tightly to her finger, making her smile. She then put it away in one of the pouches that lined her hips.

Fū wore a black jumpsuit – the standard ones they issued in Konoha – with the sleeved cut off and neatly sewn as well as small tan pouches that circled around her hips. On her left hip between the small pouches lay a much bigger tan pouch that held her clay. On both legs she held weapons pouches. She also wore the standard black zori, or sandals, that they issued in Konoha. An orange clip held her bangs in place on the top right side of her head.

Romi had chosen this outfit because of its flexibility, durability, and all-around usefulness. Besides, it looked so cute on her!

She was torn from her thoughts when she heard a noise in the trees – it didn't sound like any animal she knew of, since she knew the sounds every animal made as it moved through the forest, except for –

Romi grabbed her daughter and rolled out of the way of a man with a kunai. The kunai plunged into the ground directly where Romi had been standing. The man stood up slowly. "I'm surprised you noticed me," he said gruffly as he tucked the kunai back into his pocket. "Few can do so."

On his forehead was the Takigakure hitai-ate.

Romi's eyes narrowed as she kept a close eye on the man. "So Taki wants to take my daughter away, huh?" she growled. "May I remind you that I _legally_ adopted her? I didn't know you people would stoop so low as to kidnap my child." Romi heard a faint buzzing sound on her right where Fū stood in a basic battle stance. The green-haired girl was keeping her eyes glued to the man as well, holding a kunai out in front of her.

"You're not taking me from 'Kā-chan," she growled, the buzzing growing louder. The Taki-nin simply gazed at them with unfeeling eyes. "I was unaware that you two had grown so close. However, my mission is to take your daughter back to Takigakure. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause." Romi growled and threw a kunai directly at his skull. He caught it through the ring at the handle with his index finger and spun it around.

"You're going to have to work harder than that to defeat me," he said, amusement coloring his tone for the first time. Romi took Fū in her arms and began to run, making the Taki-nin sigh. "It's always so annoying when they try to run."

Romi was glad that they were so close to the camp. She quickly reached Sara and Rōshi, adrenaline rushing through her veins as she spoke one word:

"Taki."

* * *

Gaara smiled as he played with Temari. She'd finally stopped fearing him and began to trust him. Their trust was finally growing, and they were acting like real brother and sister – this was amplified by the fact that she'd taken to calling Tarantu 'Okā-san' as well. Kankurō finally began to play with him as well, but was much more reserved and still quite scared of him. At least they were making progress.

Tarantu kept a close eye on the three of them as she doodled in her journal. Quite honestly, she was proud of all three of them. Soon, she'd begin training Temari and Kankurō while Yashamaru trained Gaara. Kankurō, as a future puppet master, would usually be weak in taijutsu – unless he trained up in that as well. She also thought that he'd be good with genjutsu, since, as a future puppet master, he'd be very good with chakra control.

Temari…would rely too much on her fan. She'd train in taijutsu as well as ninjutsu. Tarantu also thought she'd make a good weapons mistress, but that was just speculation.

Tarantu herself was learning kenjutsu – her weapons of choice were the bo and jō staffs, although she also expressed an interest in a naginata bladed staff (but, of course, she was terrified of the blade). Temari would probably work well with a naginata, and Tarantu could also see her working with a kusarigama or other mid-range weapons. Kankurō would probably work well with kukri or a kanabō, but quite honestly, he'd probably work well with many types of weapons.

She had decided to train them with the bo staff first. They both took to it well, and within a few months they'd be able to start training with jō staffs. Temari and Kankurō would be more than just one-trick ponies this time around, Tarantu promised herself as she watched the trio play. They'd be Sunagakure's best ninja. This she swore.

* * *

The Taki-nin gently landed on the forest floor in front of a red-haired man with a short beard. "You are here for my granddaughter," he said gruffly, taking out a kunai with a curve at the end. "I cannot allow that." The Taki-nin sighed. "I don't want to fight," he said. "My mission is simply to bring the girl back. If you hand her over, you may live."

Rōshi narrowed his eyes at the man, taking a fighting stance. The man sighed again. "I see you've made your choice." With that, they two flew at each other.

It was actually a very short fight, despite all the Taki-nin's boasting. Rōshi faked him out by throwing hits that occupied the man's hands before he gutted him using the kunai. The man fell and Rōshi calmly slit his throat, cleaning his kunai off on the dead man's clothes.

"For all your boasting, you fell like an Academy student," he muttered. "Perhaps in your next life you won't anger one more powerful than yourself." Romi walked up to him – Sara had taken Fū to another area – and nudged the Taki-nin with her foot. "Arigatō, Rōshi," she said softly. "If you hadn't been here…"

Rōshi smiled softly. "It was nothing, Tsuki," he said, using her Japanese name. "I couldn't let him get away for trying to harm either of you." Romi blushed a little at this as she smiled. "Arigatō. I'm almost glad this happened though – it made me realize that I need to get stronger. Now that this attempt has failed, Taki is going to send more powerful ninja after us. I need to be stronger to protect those precious to me."

The red-haired man smiled. "I'm glad to hear that, Tsuki," he said. "Now let's go find Sara and Fū-chan."

* * *

Temari rushed at Tarantu once more, trading blow after blow with the bo staffs in their hands. She was panting rather hard, but her Okā-san simply continued to take deep, sustained breaths. "Remember to control your breathing, Tema-chan," she reminded her. Temari frowned but nodded as she attempted to regulate her breathing. It was hard to remember to take stable breaths, especially if she was training hard, but breathing steadily allowed her to maintain a better amount of control over her body.

After she'd gotten her breathing back under control, Temari flew at Tarantu again, attacking with as much strength and accuracy as she could, parrying, thrusting, going through her kata – it was all very hard and required her to give a great deal of concentration. Even so, she loved training with her Okā-san, simply because unlike her other instructors, Tarantu knew her limits and didn't push her too hard, allowing those limits to slowly expand – this helped her grow even faster and more stably, and it was for this reason that she trained mostly with her.

Of course, this also allowed her to spend more time with her otōto.

Gaara was actually quite sweet now that he wasn't murderous. Temari also had to admit that the kanji on his forehead was quite cute, and she could often be found playing with him – something that was unthinkable just two months ago. Her other brother, Kankurō, tentatively decided to start playing with them as well, but he was still terrified of Gaara – not that she blamed him. She remembered how scary her otōto used to be.

Tarantu swept her bo staff low at Temari's legs, making the exhausted kunoichi fall to the ground before she helped her up. "Go take a break and get a drink of water or something," she told the six-year-old, who happily complied. Kankurō, who was practicing on his own with his puppets, was called over by Tarantu. He caught the bo staff she tossed him and they began to spar.

Gaara, who was meditating in a corner of the room, entered his mindscape. He'd made a few changes to the Ichibi's cage so that Shūkaku could run around the desert freely, but a strip of paper with the word 'seal' on it was stuck to his belly, which restricted him from either harming Gaara or entering the oasis in his mindscape. At the moment, he was having a conversation with the tanuki demon, whom he'd begun to respect. In turn, the demon began to tolerate him.

"You know," Shūkaku said with a yawn, "you're not so bad for a human." Gaara smiled. "Arigatō, Shūkaku," he said. "If I may ask, why do you hate humans so much?" The Ichibi opened a single eye, his tail waving in the air.

"Your species has so much to hate that I don't even know where to start. You think you're so above others, although I cannot see what gave you that idea. Your haughtiness makes me puke. You use 'demon' as an insult – as though we are subhuman. Bastards! We demons are above humans – in terms of power, intelligence, and everything else! To call another human a 'demon' is an insult to us – as though a mere human could have the power of a demon! Bah!

"Even so, there is demon blood in you humans – any human with what you call a 'bloodline limit' has demon blood. The Byakugan, the Sharingan, the Rinnegan, the Dead Bone Pulse… All of these are demonic traits that were foolishly bred into humans – these humans think that because they have these abilities, they are higher than human. They are fools. Some fancy tricks do not make you better than another, especially if you're simply a human."

Gaara thought this over and nodded. "Yeah, I get it. But what about the Elemental kekkei genkai?"

"All elements are available to any human – your main element is usually passed down in your family, but anyone can master any element…if you're able to live long enough." With this, Shūkaku began to cackle. "Enough talking, let's have some FUN!" Gaara giggled at Shūkaku's antics before summoning an opponent for him in his mind.

"Heh… You're a good kid, you know that?" the demon muttered before laughing madly and beginning to fight. Gaara quickly receded from his mindscape and found himself in a corner of the training room with a perfect view of his mother sparring with his onī-san and a headache starting to build. Holding a hand to the seal on his head, he quickly left to go to sleep. Soon he'd be able to find a way to have Shūkaku have his fun while not getting migraines, but that would require research.

Either way, he was slowly beginning to understand and cultivate a relationship with the demon in his mind.

* * *

Ever since that fateful day a month ago, Romi had taken to training her butt off. She'd brought her taijutsu up to mid-chūnin, her ninjutsu up to high-chūnin, her genjutsu to low-genin, her fūinjutsu to high-jōnin, and her stealth to ANBU-trainee. Of course, it'd have been impossible if she didn't have her kage bunshin to help her. She wasn't a genius, but she worked damn hard.

Fū was learning quickly as well – she'd begun to train her bugs in secret. In fact, the only one who knew about her bugs was Rōshi. So far she'd learned the bug clone technique and the bug shield, but neither one was anywhere near mastered. Her ninjutsu, genjutsu, taijutsu, kenjutsu, stealth, planning, and fūinjutsu were all average. She was no genius, but she worked hard like her mother. If what her 'kā-chan told her was true, then Takigakure would be sending more ninja after her, and she wasn't going to go down without a fight. It helped that she was taught Kage Bunshin. Not only were they a useful training tool, but they'd also be a great distraction if she needed to get away quickly.

Both Rōshi and Sara helped the two train and they quickly became a big happy family. Romi was trying to make a seal that could seal up all of her chakra – which would, if she learned how to move without it, be invaluable in fighting a Byakugan user – but it was a long way away from being finished. In any case, it was putting her fūinjutsu skills to the test.

Rōshi had to wait outside when they entered Kumogakure no Sato, the Village Hidden in the Clouds, as he was technically a missing-nin. He didn't mind, of course, but Romi, Fū, and Sara still felt bad, so they decided to take lots of pictures.

Kumo was a village that, unlike the others, was truly named well – the village was literally hidden by clouds. It was located on the tops of a steep mountain range that split the entire country, and was, like Iwa, carved into the stone. The Kage residence was blue, and carved into the tallest rock. The trio got through the visitor's center after relinquishing all of their weapons, and Sara immediately led them to the Kage building, where A (pronounced 'ei') was doing paperwork.

"Oh, otōto~!" A immediately spun around in a panic, muscles tensing.

"You!"

"Me," Sara chirped happily, skipping into the room (through the window, of course). "How've you and Bee-chan been?" She was referring, of course, to Killer Bee, A's little brother.

A simply stared at her, gums flapping and eyes bulging before turning around and breaking his desk in half. This seemed to calm him down a little and he relaxed into his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Why are you here?" he asked stiffly. Sara cackled and threw her arms around the man, enveloping him in a hug, sprawled over him. "I brought friends!" she said happily. "They wanna meetcha! Cantheycantheycantheycanthey pleeeeease?" she begged, her soft brown eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

A growled and tossed her off him. "You and your damn puppy dog eyes technique," he spat at her. "Fine, I'll see your friends, but if they're anything like you, Chikurin, I'm going to smash your head through a wall." Sara clapped her hands together happily. "Yay! Ro! Fū! C'mon in! He said 'yes'!"

A young woman, about the size of a twelve-year-old, stepped into the room (again, through the window). She was shoeless and had long brown hair that fell to her waist with odd, multicolored eyes and pale skin with a slight yellow tint to it. She was small and thin and wore an oversized black t-shirt with black nin-pants. She held a green-haired, orange-eyed, tan-skinned child in her arms.

The woman bowed. "Hello," she said happily. "My name is Kuro Tsukiakari, and this is my daughter, Fū." She set down the young child, who also bowed. "Hi!" she chirped. "I'm Fū!"

A nodded at the two of them. "I'm A, the Godaime Raikage."

"It's nice to meet you, Raikage-sama."

"Likewise." A turned to Sara. "How is it possible you haven't corrupted them with your mind yet?" he asked bluntly. Sara laughed. "I can't corrupt someone who's already insane," she said with a shrug. "Ro's just better at hiding it, and Fū is somehow immune. Oh, and I'm going by 'Sara' now."

A sighed. He just knew this was going to be a hard week.

He called for Bee, who began rapping as soon as he walked though the door.

"What's up bro? Who're these mofos?"

"Dammit, Bee, quit that rapping! I know you remember Chikurin? She now goes by 'Sara'." Bee perked up at this and scanned the room until he laid eyes on Sara. "Oh, sis! How've you been, muthafucka?" The two bumped fists. "I've been great, otōto!" she chirped. "I brought some new friends."

A cleared his throat to get everyone's attention before he spoke. "Bee, I want you to take them around and make sure Sara doesn't get into trouble." Bee nodded. "Yo, leave it to Bee, we gonna party!" Romi grinned at this, and Fū giggled while A yelled at his brother for rhyming badly. Eventually, they were able to leave the tower in one piece.

"So, what's got you visiting?" Bee asked Sara as they strode down the street. "Not that I'm complaining, but you haven't seen us in years. Why come back so suddenly?"

"I'm taking Ro and Fū on a tour of the Elemental Countries. Besides, Fū wanted to meet you and Nī. She's been giving gifts to the rest of 'the nine', if you will." Killer Bee quieted at this and looked over at the green-haired girl and her mother. Romi held her hand as she energetically looked around, skipping quickly along to keep up with Bee and Sara's long strides.

"Which one is she?"

"The Seventh." Bee looked surprised at this, but he nodded before smiling. When Fū saw him looking at her, her face broke out in a wide grin and she broke away from her mother, who was immediately on guard before she saw Fū run to Bee and stretched out her arms in a silent attempt to get him to pick her up.

Bee hesitated for a moment before bending down and carefully lifting her up. She took something out of her sleeve and placed it on his shoulder. He turned to look at it, giving Fū the opportunity to give him a kiss on the cheek, making him smile.

That smile turned to surprise as the item on his shoulder – a beetle – began to eat his chakra before letting loose bolts of electricity run down its exoskeleton and fizzle out. Bee slowly looked back at Fū, who sat in his arms with a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

"You little brat," he muttered, impressed. "I take it you want to give Nī her gift now too, huh?"

* * *

Back in Sunagakure no Sato, Gaara awoke to find his beetle buzzing furiously next to his ear. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he looked at the insect curiously as it flew onto the seal on his forehead. A sharp burst of pain echoed through his head, making him gasp. Suddenly, a plethora of images flashed through his mind.

Fū giving a beetle to a tall, armored man.

Fū giving a beetle to a red-haired man.

Fū transforming into a girl his age.

Fū learning about the different kinds of flora and fauna in the forest.

Fū running from a Taki-nin.

Fū visiting different towns.

Fū training.

Fū giving a beetle to a tall, dark-skinned man.

Fū. All through Fū's eyes.

Gaara retreated into his mindscape and began to file through these memories, quickly organizing them and putting them in their own section so that they wouldn't float around his mind. Then he ran to find his mother.

"Okā-san!" he called, his beetle resting on his head. "Okā-san!" Tarantu immediately looked over at Gaara – she'd been eating her breakfast in her pajamas. "Gaara-chan?" Gaara grabbed Tarantu's arm before quickly relating to her what happened that morning.

Tarantu thought about this for a minute. "I'm guessing," she said slowly, "that these beetles are a sort of a two-way communication device. Have you tried sending a message back to Fū?" Gaara shook his head. "I don't know how." She thought a bit more. "I'll send a letter to Romi telling her about this," she mused. "She can ask Fū and then we can get an answer."

* * *

"Yo! Nī!" The blonde woman looked over. She, unlike most others in Kumo, was pale-skinned, with rosy lips, and long hair pulled back into a ponytail. "Bee," she greeted him with a nod.

Bee grinned widely. "Nī, this is Fū," he said, gesturing to the green-haired child on his shoulder who waved at her happily. "She's one of us – the Seventh. She," he added, gesturing to a short brunette, "is Fū's adoptive mother, Kuro Tsukiakari – no last name. And I'm sure you remember Chikurin." At the mention of this name, Nī looked over at Sara and sighed.

"You're back."

"Oh, don't be so excited to see me," Sara said sarcastically. "Besides, my name is 'Sara' now." She pouted. "You were never any fun, imōto." Nī looked at her with a sly smile. "I'm plenty fun, Sara," she said. "You're just insane."

"Insanity is much more fun than sanity, but you never even try it. Therefore, you're no fun." Nī shook her head, but continued to smile, greeting Fū and Romi. "You're with Sara?" Romi nodded. "We're touring the Elemental Countries," she explained. "Sara's our…tour guide, I guess." Nī nodded and smiled at Fū, who waved back. She was surprised however, when Bee handed her the child. "She wants to give you something," he explained as she took her from him.

Nī was confused until the green-haired girl took a beetle out from her sleeve and handed it to her. Nī hesitated for a moment before taking it gently from her. It quickly at her chakra and shot what looked like a miniature lightning bolt in the air, letting it fizzle out after traveling a few centimeters. She was silent for a minute before Fū kissed her cheek. "Thank you very much, Fū," Nī said, kissing her forehead as she set the little girl down. "This is a very nice gift."

Fū smiled and blushed a little before she ran to hide behind Romi's skirt, looking up at the woman shyly. The adults all chuckled at her antics before they began to converse.

Five down, three to go.

* * *

The trio spent about a week in Kumo before leaving once more to tour the rest of the Land of Lightning, picking up Rōshi outside the gates – that took another month. They were four months into the year at that point, and they'd have eight more months to tour the continent and train.

Their next stop was Kirigakure no Sato.

The four of them ran on the water until they reached the southernmost island – that took maybe a two days and two nights. Since the Mist was in the middle of its 'bloodline purges', Sara had to get them in quietly and illegally, but they eventually were able to get to a quiet, snowy village.

By this time the sun was setting. Fearful of being out in the cold and contracting hypothermia (Fū was already shivering), the four of them quickly went up to a random house and knocked on the door.

The door opened to reveal a beautiful woman – her skin was as pale as moonlight, and her black hair was long and straight. She wore a pink kimono with red edging. "Hello," she said with a slight bow. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Rōshi, being the one who knew the most about the customs and the most likely to execute them without going crazy (Sara), stepped forward and bowed low. "Good evening," he said politely. "My name is Rōshi, and the girls are Sara, Tsuki, and Fū, Tsuki's adopted daughter. My family and I are touring the Elemental Countries, and coming from a warm climate, we are quite fearful of staying out in such a cold environment after dark. We have come to ask you to let us stay the night and show us your hospitality."

The woman smiled warmly and invited them in. As soon as they all entered and bowed to her, she closed the door. "Oh, where are my manners, my name is Kasumi. Please, sit." She ushered them to the kitchen, where they kneeled around a low, Japanese-style table. Romi was slightly dazed by the speed at which this was happening but she quickly decided to go with the flow, setting Fū down beside her and laying her hands on her lap, her head politely bowed.

Romi didn't like staying at other people's houses very much. She always felt extremely awkward, as though she wasn't supposed to be there. Every time she stayed over at someone's house, she usually kept to herself and left as quickly as she could. Being in a stranger's house, especially, was awkward, and she couldn't wait for the experience to be over as soon as possible.

Fū, however, was extremely excited. She loved to meet new people and make new friends, and she quickly spied a young child, maybe a few years older than herself, watching them from the next room. She waved hello before jumping up and skipping over to him. "Hi!" she said happily. "I'm Fū. What's your name?"

The boy was very pretty and she'd have mistaken him for a female had her insects not told her differently. He, like his mother, had long black hair and soft, deep brown eyes with porcelain skin. He looked at her and smiled prettily. "My name is Haku," he said. "I'm seven years old. Do you want to see a trick?" He just seemed to be dying to show someone.

"Sure!" Fū exclaimed. He took her hand and led her to the bathroom, where he turned on the sink and let it fill for a moment before turning the water off. Haku then raised his arms to his right and, with a look of total concentration, began to move his arms fluidly.

The water in the sink followed his movements.

Fū watched him in awe as he manipulated the water in the air, watching it slowly twist and curve. Then he let the water fall to the floor in a small puddle, when, for his last act, it turned into a small ice spike.

She clapped and giggled as his concentration broke and the ice spike turned back into a puddle of water. As she helped him clean up, she struck up a conversation with him. "Y'know, my 'kā-chan says that people think that what you just did was a kekkei genkai."

"A…kekkei genkai?"

"Yeah. Mizu no Kuni is real mean to people with kekkei genkai, my 'kā-chan says. She says it's 'cause of all the wars, and people with kekkei genkai are real dangerous in wars, so people are scared of people with kekkei genkai 'cause of that. So you prolly shouldn't show people. I'll ask my 'kā-chan what we should do. She knows _everything_!"

Haku giggled along with Fū and they raced out to the kitchen, where Romi was attempting to calm Sara down and Rōshi was chatting with Kasumi and her husband, Haruo. The green-haired girl hopped onto her mother's lap.

"Musume, I'm busy trying to calm Sara down right now. Do you mind sitting tight for a moment?" With that, Romi tapped a pressure point on Sara's neck and she immediately collapsed. "There. What is it, Fū-chan?" Fū whispered something into her ear, making her eyes widen. While Kasumi and Haruo were staring in shock at how she'd put Sara to sleep, Romi blinked a few times and looked at her daughter.

"Is this true?" she asked in a hushed voice. Fū nodded excitedly. "Yup!" Romi paused a moment before looking over at Kasumi. "Kasumi-san," she said politely. "I'd like to speak with you alone for a moment." Confused, but being a polite hostess and accepting, Kasumi nodded and followed Romi into the next room. Before she could do anything, Romi stood on her tip-toes and whispered in Kasumi's ear, "Your son has inherited it."

It took a split second for Kasumi to understand this, but when she did, she jerked away and held her hands up to her mouth, her eyes full of shock and fear. Romi stood up straight with her hands at her sides. "Please relax, Kasumi-san," she said softly. "I have recently unlocked my own inheritance, so I am in no position to criticize either of you." She took a deep breath. "I am actually not a simply traveler," she confessed. "The real reason my group has come to Mizu no Kuni is to help give those with these gifts a better life. We did not initially know this about you or your son, I assure you, but I request that we help you."

Tears rolled down Kasumi's face, but she ignored them and took several calming breaths. "What can you do?" she whispered venomously. "There is nothing that can help me."

Romi sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Actually, there is," she said softly, as though trying not to frighten her. "Your husband truly loves you, you know, and I believe that if you sit him down and talk to him about it, explain it to him, and let him think about it, you will find that he may not judge you." Romi was actually mostly guessing at this point. She knew that Haruo ended up killing Kasumi for this, but she figured it was because he thought she was going to kill him with it – maybe if she told him in a controlled environment, he'd be more open-minded. It was a gamble, but if Kasumi wanted to survive, it was one of her only choices.

Not that Romi would rat her out.

Kasumi's tears continued to leak out of her beautiful brown eyes, but she slowly wiped them away. "What if he hates me?" she asked quietly, as though afraid to break the silence. "What if…he tries to kill me?"

At this, Romi's eyes hardened. "If that's the case, then he doesn't truly love you…does he?" she said firmly, but softly so as not to scare her. "If he truly loves you, then he'll love you despite everything. If not, then he's not the right man for you."

Kasumi seemed to think about this. She'd tried so hard to forget her past, forget the bloodline purges that forced her to go into hiding. She married and had a beautiful baby boy, and she had a peaceful existence. Everything was safe, and she was happy. She should've known, she thought somewhat bitterly, that her curse wouldn't leave her alone. She'd feared the ice manipulation, and she feared it showing up in her beautiful child. Now, her world seemed to crash down around her, like pieces of shattered glass falling from a windowpane.

"I don't have any other choice, do I?" she asked softly.

Romi shrugged. "You could either tell him or continue to live a lie," she responded. "On one hand, he can desert you for this, but on the other, he can accept you. If you continue to live a lie, you'll never be as close to him as you'd like to be, since the secret is always in the back of your mind. You fear it and what it can do to your perfect life. But I don't think it's perfect to lie to the man you love, and the father of your child." She shrugged again and gave a comforting smile.

"Truly, Kasumi-san, it's up to you to make the decision. I will be here to support you with whichever decision you make, but it's your life and I cannot tell you how to live."

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so a lot happened in this chapter. It's not very action-packed yet, but we're getting there (quite honestly, I'm better at the psychological parts of writing). No worries, Romi, Sara, Rōshi, and Fū will get to show off their skills soon enough. Right now, though, I need to get started on the next chapter.**


	5. Cracktastic! Part One

Made of Fail

* * *

_**Cracktastic!**_

_**Part One**_

_**KR**_

"Kakashi!" Kuro called out as she jumped up and dangled from his neck. "Guess what? We now have fan mail!!" Kakashi groaned inwardly and took a deep breath. "And why would this concern me?"

"Because you're in this story, silly! And by popular demand – basically Romi-sama's demand – you are to answer our lovely reviewers~! Yatta~!"

"…Please, kill me now."

"Why would I do that, silly? After all, this story centres on us and Tarantu and Iruka (who hasn't appeared yet, but oh well), and Romi-sama will refuse to kill you off!" Kakashi just squeezed his eyes shut and prayed it would all end soon. Kuro didn't notice this, however, as she was busy looking through her pitiful amount of reviews.

She put her hands on her hips and glared at the computer screen. "What the fuck?! Only three reviews?! Come _on_, people, I thought this story was better than this! We only get three reviews, and after four chapters, no less!" Tsuki growled lightly before tapping the screen.

"Kakashi, this reviewer's alias is 'SetoKaibaFan153'. He…or she, I can't tell on the internet; anyway, KaibaFan-san says the following:

"'Keep going it's great so far!'" Kuro clicked her tongue in disappointment. "Well, before we let Kakashi work his magic, I must point out the serious flaws in your grammar, KaibaFan-san."

**GRAMMAR POLICE**

**GRAMMAR CORRECTIONS OFFICER**

"Yes, darling readers it is I, the feared Grammar Corrections Officer! I cannot help but point out that there should be a semicolon – a _semicolon_, dear friend – in that sentence of yours," Kuro said, suddenly sporting nerdy librarian glasses. "Here is your sentence before the Grammar Police invaded:"

Keep going it's great so far!

Kuro sighed and clicked her tongue, shaking her head. Kakashi just deadpanned and chose to retain his sanity and ignore the girl in front of him. "KaibaFan-san, that was your review before the revision. Here's what it would look like afterwards:"

Keep going; it's great so far!

Kuro looked at her work proudly. "Do you see how the semicolon helps the sentence run so much more smoothly, KaibaFan-san? Romi-sama gives your original a B (after all, you remembered the apostrophe in the sentence!) and added your review to her online grade book!"

Kakashi sweatdropped at this. "Wait, a minute," he said. "Hold the show. Are you telling me that some wacko person/thing named 'Romi-sama' keeps an online grade book of her reviews?"

Kuro looked up at him plainly. "Well, of course. I do, as well. We compare them every Saturday. Why do you ask?" Kakashi sweatdropped again. "N-never mind."

Shrugging, she turned back to the computer screen. "So, Kakashi, answer the reviewer. He/she/it was kind enough to 'drop a line', so to speak, and deserves an answer in return. So, what say you, shinobi of legend?"

"…What?"

"Just answer the fucking review."

"…Oh." Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck thoughtfully. "Well, SetoKaibaFan153-san, I guess I'll just tell you that we appreciate the review – the baka over here says that this so-called 'Romi-sama' can get quite scary when she doesn't get enough of them. And the story will definitely be continuing – said baka's friend says that this 'Romi-sama' takes her writing very seriously and practically lives on the computer. She doesn't have much of a life, now does she…? And sorry for Kuro's annoying thing up there. It annoyed me, too."

Kuro rolled her eyes and looked at the next reviewer. "Okay, this one is from neoko-chan."

LUV IT!

Brilliant! Just plain brilliant!

Ja Ne,

Neoko-chan

She smiled and nodded. "Okay, the Grammar Police won't need to invade on this one. Although there aren't full sentences, you obviously meant for it to be read as though spoken, so you're good. You get an A."

The next review was pulled up and Kuro looked at it. "This one's from XXXninjayoaifreakxxx."

I love this story so far! I can't wait for the next chapters!

"You get an A, too. Good! The Grammar Corrections Officer doesn't feel like doing any more work today. The thing is…yaoi is spelled Y-A-O-I, not Y-O-A-I."

Kakashi shook his head and apologized to the reviewer.

Kuro pushed Kakashi out of the way and he crashed into the wall. "Okay, everyone, I want to thank you all for the time you took the read Romi-sama's story! She appreciates it and asked me to give KaibaFan-san neoko-chan, and yoaifreak-san an extra big thank you and this digital triangular cookie!"

/\

/_\

Kuro looked at the failcookie and sweatdropped. "Well, it's a failcookie, and it tastes quite pixelly, but please try to enjoy it anyway! Bye, guys, and we hope to see you all soon!"


	6. Kekkei Genkai

**Made of Fail**

* * *

_Chapter Four  
Kekkei Genkai_

The next day found Haruo working outside on the farm (Romi was amused at this – a farmer living in a snowy village? But despite the snow, the plants seemed to be doing quite well) and Kasumi doing the dishes after breakfast. Everyone noticed the tense silence that had fallen over Kasumi the day before, but today she seemed much more calm and resolved. Rōshi was playing with Haku and Fū, Sara was off somewhere, and Romi was sitting quietly on the couch, simply watching everyone go about the day through half-lidded eyes.

If Haruo decided to try to kill Kasumi and Haku, she'd have to escape with the two of them. Haku would be confused and scared, and Kasumi would be broken and in shock, making them both hard to transport. The obvious choice of escape would be away from Mizu no Kuni, to a northeastern island country about a day away if they didn't stop to rest. They'd be able to make it, but Kasumi wouldn't work with them, instead being consumed by grief and possible anger. Haku would be confused and wouldn't know what to do.

If Haruo decided to accept them, then it could go either of two ways – the entire family would have to work through it together, like that one time from Romi's home world she heard of a neo-Nazi whose girlfriend found out that she was Jewish. They had to work through it together, and it was hard. Then the neo-Nazi found out he was Jewish as well, and they both became ultraorthodox, married, and had a bunch of little Jewish babies. If they worked through the problem, then they'd be happy and even closer than they were before. If they didn't work it out, they'd both be irrevocably hurt, and feel betrayed. If worse came to worse, he'd attempt to kill Haku and Kasumi, and they'd still have to flee.

The odds were truly against them, but Romi hoped that Haruo's love for his wife and child would outshine all else. Even if it didn't originally.

Romi was torn from her thoughts as she noticed Haruo enter the house, wiping sweat off his brow. "Kasumi," he said, pushing his messy black hair out of his dark eyes. "You said you wanted to talk to me, right?" Kasumi stiffened at this, and Romi noticed her resolution swaying a little, but she quickly shook it off. "Y-yes," she said softly. "It's…quite important."

Haruo was taken aback at the sudden seriousness of her tone, but nodded nonetheless. Kasumi slowly dried her hands with a towel and sat down at the table, her hands on her lap and her eyes downcast. Haruo followed solemnly.

"Kasumi…?"

"Haruo… You love me, right?" Haruo was struck dumb by this statement. She fully well knew how much he loved her! What was the point of asking that question? And in front of their guests, no less! "Kasumi…what are you saying?"

"I…I mean…you'd love me no matter what, right?"

"Of course!"

"Even if I was ugly?"

"Yes!"

"Even if I was stupid?"

"Even then, Kasumi." Kasumi took a deep breath. This was the moment of reckoning. "Even if I…had a kekkei genkai?" There was a long silence as Kasumi waited for her answer and Haruo's mind stopped. This was a taboo topic in Mizu no Kuni, and for his wife to bring it up…

Oh, god.

Haruo stared into her fearful brown eyes for a long time before speaking. "Kasumi…" he said slowly. "I…I need to think about this for a minute – why… How…" Kasumi took a deep breath. "I've had it ever since I was born. I'm originally from the Yuki clan and we are able to manipulate ice. I never would've brought it up, but Kuro-san brought it to my attention that Haku had inherited it, and oh, gods, Haruo, I'm so sorry! I never intended for this to happen. We were supposed to have a perfect life, and have a beautiful life together, and this damn curse keeps me from happiness. I was so scared when I was pregnant with Haku that he would inherit this curse, and now my fears have come true. Please still love me, Haruo!"

Kasumi's tanned husband looked at her blankly before shaking his head. "This… Did you not trust me enough to tell me this alone? Did you think I'd hurt you?" Tears rolled down Kasumi's face. "I know you love me, Haruo, but I didn't know if you'd still love _all_ of me after this. I'm so sorry… I'm sorry."

Haruo gently wiped away his wife's tears. "Kasumi…if you hadn't told me this and I found out some other way, I'd have thought that you were on some sort of secret mission to murder me, I admit. I feel a bit betrayed because of this secret, but I understand why you kept it a secret. I know this is going to be very hard, but we'll work through this." He took a deep breath. "We're going to talk this out later, okay?"

Kasumi nodded and wiped her tears away. "Th-thank you for giving me this chance, Haruo."

Romi and Rōshi took the kids out to let the adults have some privacy as they thought. The bugs in Fū's body had gone into a state of suspended animation because of the cold, and some of them had died – but she was able to find some insects tolerant to the cold and collected them. Haku seemed extremely interested in this, and he Fū got into an animated discussion about Fū's tenant, and the two seemed to get even closer as they shared their secrets.

As Fū and Haku talked and played in the snow, Romi and Rōshi leaned against a tree and talked quietly between themselves. "Haku's got a lot of talent," Romi told him, crossing her arms and closing her eyes. "I'd like to have him trained." Rōshi agreed. "He and Fū are getting along very well, anyway," he responded. "With a little training, they'd work quite well as a team. Fū would be an all-around fighter, and Haku would be a mid- to long-range fighter, a terrific back-up. We'd need a strategist and a close-range fighter, though, to even out their group. Perhaps a taijutsu user, since Fū would probably work well with ninjutsu and Haku with genjutsu and medic-jutsu."

Romi nodded. "But that's only if Kasumi and Haruo let us take him with us. We can't get too ahead of ourselves. Instead, we need to figure out how to get them to release Haku into our care…" Rōshi smirked. "Oh, and you're not worried about 'choosing what's best for them'?"

The brunette smirked. "I don't care," she said a bit more coldly than she intended. "Sara brought me back here, and I have information that can start a war. If I don't use this information to help as many people as I can, then there's no point in having it. I won't go overboard with it, but humans are the stupidest animal on this planet."

Rōshi smirked at this. "Hm," he grunted. "Perhaps you're finally deserving of your demon blood."

* * *

Kasumi and Haruo were finally able to talk things out later that night, and that's when Romi made her move, arguing that 'Haku won't be able to thrive in this environment' and 'his growth will be stunted'. She also said that because of his lack of experience controlling his kekkei genkai, he'd 'be in immense danger anytime he stepped outside'. Haku's parents seemed to agree, but they didn't want to be separated from him. Of course, they wouldn't be able to leave with him, for some stupid reason only an adult could come up with, so they finally decided, by the next day, that Haku would leave with the group while they would tie up loose ends and move to Konoha to wait for them.

At this point, Romi, Rōshi, Sara, Fū, and the newly-acquired Haku left to save more people from hell, and bloodlines from extinction.

The group of five decided to explore Mizu no Kuni by 'island hopping' – travelling from island to island to island like stepping stones. Their next stop was another village, where they acquired a small girl who had no kekkei genkai, but lived on the streets anyway. She led them to a group of children, two of whom had kekkei genkai – the scorch release, shakuton, and the explosion release, bakuton. Over the course of a few weeks, all but the kekkei genkai-wielding children had found new homes thanks to the efforts of the group – most in a more affluent area.

The two kekkei genkai-wielding children were given to Sara to take to Konoha – apparently she could turn into a giant bird. Who knew?

Once she got back, Romi was going to force her to spill that damned secret.

The group continued to island-hop, taking any kekkei genkai-wielders to the village of their choice via Sara's giant bird form. Then…they ran into some trouble. Ninja trouble, to be exact.

They were sitting in a circle around their campfire, huddling close to it for warmth – they were on their sixth island, and it was slightly warmer than Haku's village, enough that it didn't snow. Even so, they were shivering and most of Fū's bugs were still in their suspended animation, which took away her most powerful attacks – not that anyone but Rōshi and Haku knew, as far as she knew. Even Romi, who loved the cold, had trouble staying warm. Perhaps it was this island's unique geology which allowed it to be colder then Haku's village, yet still not snow.

Romi had just been following that line of reasoning when they'd been attacked. A tall, muscular man had thrown what looked like a giant glorified butcher's knife over their heads, spinning, before embedding itself in the tree. Haku, Fū, and Romi jumped at this new development, and Romi, being quite protective of 'her young', immediately jumped over to the two children and crouched low on all fours over them, growling.

Haku, not used to Romi's strange behavior, looked at her as if she was insane.

…Which was, of course, true, but that was beside the point.

All of the previous tension suddenly disappeared as Romi actually looked at the sword and stood on two feet. That was when a tall, muscular man hopped down from the trees and landed on the sword in what appeared to be a 'cool pose'. He wore what _looked like _vertically-striped pajama pants, sandals, bandages over his face and around his neck, a Kirigakure forehead protector faced to the left and cow-patterned arm and leg warmers. He also had a strap running diagonally across his chest, presumably used to hold the sword.

Romi spoke first. "Oi, Zabuza, what do you want?"

Zabuza grinned. "Ooh? So you've heard of me. I'm honored."

"My friend Sara told me some funny stories about you…although you probably know her as 'Chikurin'." It was at this point that the pale man paled even more. "She's come back," he deadpanned, hopping off his sword and yanking it out of the tree before sheathing it. "I knew the silence was too good to last. Where is she?"

"Escorting a little girl with a kekkei genkai to Kumo," she said nonchalantly, leaning towards the fire. "C'mon, get close to the fire – it's warm and you're wearing practically nothing." It was at this point, as Zabuza neared the fire, that Fū spoke up.

"'Kā-chan, who's that crazy man?" she asked bluntly, pointing at him. Zabuza twitched. "Brat…" Romi just smiled. "Musume, it's not nice to point," she chided, lowering her daughter's arm. "Nor is it polite to call people crazy…at least not to their faces."

"I thought it was a good thing to be crazy."

"Yes, but some people don't like being called crazy like we do. They might take it as an insult."

"That's…_normal_." She spat out the word like poison.

"Yeah, but not everyone can be as crazy as us."

"Yeah, I guess." Zabuza stared at her for a minute. "Did Chikurin corrupt you?"

"She can't corrupt me if I'm already insane," Romi rationalized. "Besides, she goes by 'Sara' now." Sighing, the tall man sat down and Romi introduced him as Momochi Zabuza, the Kirigakure no Kijin, the Demon of the Hidden Mist. She went into a bit of detail about how he murdered his entire graduating class and attempted to overthrow the Mizukage. Haku, ever-observant, noticed something strange. "Onē-san, if he's a nuke-nin, then how come his hitai-ate isn't slashed?"

Romi had taught Haku some of the basics of the ninja world as well as teaching him the few wind and water jutsu that she knew. It appeared that all this teaching hadn't gone to waste.

There was a short pause before Romi smiled. "Well," she said lightly, stroking the fire. "I may be guessing by this point, but I believe that Zabuza-san doesn't see himself as a nuke-nin." Her smile grew wider as she glanced over at the man. "He has a sort of sense of honor despite his bloodthirsty tendencies, and is still loyal to Kiri – just not the current Mizukage, as he refuses to associate with such a dishonorable man. His attempted coup-de-tat is proof of this – I believe that he wanted to free Kiri from such a man and become the new Mizukage… Am I right, Zabuza-san?"

There was a long silence after Romi's musing, and only the crackling of the fire and the sparse wildlife throughout the forest could be heard. Then Zabuza chuckled. "Am I that obvious?" he asked as he leaned towards the fire, looking over the dancing flames to gaze into Romi's multi-colored eyes. "You're probably the only one who's ever realized that."

Romi grinned, making Zabuza blink. 'She looks like…'

"Actually, it took me several years to realize this," she admitted. "But once I did realize it, it seemed quite obvious." They continued their little staring contest, which was only broken by the flapping of wings and a loud thump.

"Welcome back, Sara," Romi said cheerfully. "Zabuza's here."

"Really? Why?" There was a long pause before they all looked at Zabuza, who shrugged. "Heard you had a Hyōton user with you," he explained. "Thought if I could kidnap him and train him, I could add some more firepower to my team. I guess that's not an option now, though." Haku blinked at this, but Romi simply nodded. "Would you like to travel with us?" she asked. "It'd be a big help."

Zabuza glanced over at her blankly. "Why?"

"You're great at Suiton ninjutsu, taijutsu, and kenjutsu. Having you would definitely bolster our firepower without slowing us down. Besides, we need someone to help us train our Hyōton user. You're the best possible choice." Romi then grinned widely again, the force of it squeezing her eyes shut as she hugged her knees close to her chest. "Plus, I think you've got the right idea. I'd like to help you overthrow the Mizukage. I've got some inside information that could help."

Zabuza stared at her for a minute before nodding. "I accept. Just keep Sara away from me."

"What's wrong with me?"

"That."

And so Momochi Zabuza, Kirigakure no Kijin, Demon of the Hidden Mist, joined the group, bringing their total number of members up to six.

* * *

It had been seven days since Tarantu had sent her letter to Romi, and during that time, Gaara got several images of what Fū had been doing, dutifully reporting back to his okā-san. He noticed, as he had been trained from birth to notice such things, that she appeared much calmer and happier now that she had some sort of way of knowing that her imōto, her little sister, was all right. This made Gaara happy as well, which simply proved that there was yet another upside to having friends.

_When a loved one i__s happy, you are happy as well. When a loved one is scared, you gain the strength to protect them. And when a loved one is sad, you gain the strength to help them shoulder their burden – and they'll do the same for you._

He still remembered the first time his okā-san told him that.

On the eighth morning, a letter arrived as they ate breakfast. Gaara was happily talking to Temari and Kankurō, when a bird began to tap at the window. Everyone looked over at it, and Tarantu opened the window to let it fly in and perch on her shoulder. "Ohayō, tori-san. How are you this fine morning?" Temari rolled her eyes. "Okā-san, the bird isn't going to answer you."

Tarantu smiled and shrugged. "Yes, but by talking to him in a kind voice, I can show that a) I am not a threat, and b) I am willing to be his friend. Any animal will be friendly to you if you are friendly to him." With that, she began to detach the letter from its leg before frowning. "Frostbite…?" she murmured before looking at it quizzically and closing the window. "I'm going to have to take you Yashamaru-sempai. I'm not good enough to do amputations on birds yet."

She took the letter from the bird's leg and allowed it to hop onto the table and eat some of the seeds Tarantu set out for it, noting that its left leg was completely useless. 'What a shame…' she thought as she opened the letter.

_On__ē-chan –_

_Imagine my surprise when I saw your letter! Honestly, sending that kind of bird to a place like this? That leg of his is going to need to be amputated, but I don't know how to do it, so it's up to you. Poor thing._

_For the sake of brevity and getting that poor bird some medical attention, I'll keep this short – all will be revealed by eating the beetle's left antenna._

_I know – sounds gross, right? But it'll grow back, and it's not you that needs to eat it anyway, so don't start gagging just yet. Give the trio, the Thousand, and the Circle my regards._

_Your loving imōto_

Tarantu chuckled a bit. Romi truly learned quite a bit – she didn't give any unnecessary information, and absolutely nothing was in code except for the nicknames (the trio were obviously the children sitting at the breakfast table right now, the Thousand would be Chiyo, a pun on her name meaning 'thousand worlds' and the Circle would be Yashamaru, a pun on the 'maru' part of his name, which also meant 'circle'), even though it looked that way – which would make any interceptors run around in circles.

Even so, with the hypothermia and the fact that it was a desert bird that had been sent, it would be obvious to any ninja that the recipient of the letter had been traveling in a cold climate – probably far north or far south – and the one who sent it lived in a desert.

It was a moot point, anyway, as the letter had been sealed with chakra and unopened, so no one could have read the letter anyway. The real priority at the moment would be getting the bird some medical attention.

* * *

A bit more island-hopping and Fū's bugs had finally begun to awaken from their slumber – and with that little letter, her secret had been revealed. Now her mommy knew that she could control bugs, and happily, didn't hate her any less for it – although she had been surprised to hear that Fū had been in contact with the Shichibi as long as she could remember, and had taught her. And now that Rōshi was teaching her to work with her bijū effectively, their partnership was developing quickly.

It had been three weeks since the gang had last reformed, and their whole 'get kekkei genkai users out of Mizu no Kuni' plan had been coming along very well. On top of that, Romi had been training Fū in fūton jutsu as well as Rōshi training her with her bijū, Zabuza trained Haku, and Sara trained Romi.

Fū had learned of a terrific side effect of being the jinchūriki of the Nanabi no Kabutomushi – she had natural super-strength without needing to use chakra. She discovered it after effortlessly picking up a rock, which turned out to be a boulder imbedded into the ground, to look for bugs. With a little digging, she found out that she could lift up to eight hundred-fifty times her own weight. Because of this, she was now training to use it in battle. For this, she sparred with Zabuza. He really seemed to enjoy it, despite the fact that he had to go easy on her.

Then she fell into her mindscape after a hard day of training.

It was quiet. A cold, yet gentle breeze steadily blew at her left side, making her hair move to the right. Everything she felt was magnified, and the thrill of it electrified her. Opening her eyes, Fū found herself looking up into a clear blue sky, a rare blue she didn't often see. Turning around, she saw that she was laying horizontally, and below her lay a vast expanse of individual fluffy white clouds. With a grin, Fū dove down and landed on one of the clouds, bouncing lightly into its softness and feeling its dampness.

Then she took a good look at herself. She was naked – not that it bothered her – but was covered by what looked like beetle armor that was attached to her skin and amazingly, two translucent yellow wings with brownish yellow veins grew out of her back. They were Japanese rhinoceros beetle wings. "Woah," she breathed out in awe. Then she grinned and flew off again. "Wahoo!"

After some exploration, she found that at the bottom of the many clouds was what appeared to be a drain. Curious, she flew into it – and as soon as she did, she lost her wings and beetle armor. "Oi!" she yelled out, annoyed. She liked flying! With a pout, she decided to follow the drain to see where it led.

Fū encountered many twists and turns along a long, complex, but clean and modern, circular sewer system that constantly had a few inches of water and a constant dripping sound – at least she could walk on the water. Soon, perhaps by instinct, she didn't know, she reached a large, circular cage. Right smack dab in the middle was a piece of paper with the kanji for 'seal'. She looked up at what the cage held inside it in awe.

"Nanabi no Kabutomushi…" she murmured. It was nothing like she thought it would be – for example, instead of having a round, ovular body, it was long and thin with six legs coming out of its shoulders. Its tails looked like six wings and a strange green tail-like appendage growing out of the end of its abdomen, the Y-shaped 'horn' growing out of its back, and what looked like a single yellow orb peering out behind vertical armored bars.

"Hello, human," it said. "So I am finally able to meet my container face-to-face." Fū looked down shyly, clasping her hands in front of her. "Hello," she said. "It's nice to meet you, Kabutomushi." The bijū chuckled darkly.

"No need for the formalities, Fū," it said. "After all, we are close, aren't we?" Fū looked up at it, a smile on her face. "Y-Yeah!" she exclaimed. "You're my first friend!" To her surprise, it scoffed, buzzing angrily. "Foolish human," it hissed, the anger in its voice making Fū take a few steps back. "What you humans call friends are just bags of flesh connected by strings of jealousy, betrayal, and hate. Friends are useless."

Fū frowned. "Oi! Then what are we?" she yelled. "You said we were close, right?" At this, it chuckled again. "We are partners," it said simply. "I am the prisoner, you are my jail. You are my means to the outside world, and I am your power. It's a mutually beneficial relationship – we are not friends. Friends can turn on you. We are something much closer." This made the green-haired girl look at her bijū in confusion. "I don't get it," she deadpanned.

The demon chuckled once more. "You'll understand one day, human. You'll understand one day."

Haku was having a very different experience. Zabuza trained him as often as he could, molding his talents perfectly. He took to human anatomy very quickly, and was currently learning to use senbon. He had above average aim, speed, and chakra control, but he still needed to work hard on it to be effective. His ninjutsu skills were improving very quickly, though his taijutsu skills still needed a lot of work. Sara had given him a scroll on the Arctic Tern Style of taijutsu as well as some genjutsu scrolls, which he picked up rather nicely. Although Zabuza often complained that he was weak, he knew that he was impressed by his progress.

At the moment, he was practicing his dodging skills against Zabuza's giant butcher's knife.

"Ack!" He ducked the giant blade and rolled to his left before standing again. He knew he wasn't in any danger because Zabuza was able to stop his sword before it did any damage, but it was still terrifying. A low, two-handed sweep of the Kubikiribōchō made Haku jump and do a delicate sideways flip over the blade, landing a bit off-balance on his feet and breathing heavily.

"Not bad," Zabuza said, sheathing his sword. "Take a five-minute break and then work on your suiton jutsu." Haku bowed in respect before sitting down under a tree and taking a deep drink from his canteen. Rōshi sat next to her. "You're doing well, Haku-kun," he said with a smile. "You're developing quickly." The boy smiled. "Arigatō, Rōshi 'jī-san," he said respectfully. "I still have quite a long way to go, though."

The elderly red-haired man shrugged. "Even so, you're doing well. Very few children your age can do what you do."

The two sat in silence for a little bit before Zabuza called Haku over again. "All right, brat, show me what you can do."

Haku showed him all the jutsu he knew – the Thousand Stinging Needles of Death Technique, the Kirigakure no Jutsu, the Water Prison Technique, the Cutting Ice Blade Technique, and the Rumbling Wind Wall Technique. None of the techniques were close to being mastered, nor could he use them effectively, but at least he had the basics down. Zabuza trained him intensely, and by the end of the day he was able to quickly execute the Kirigakure no Jutsu – even so, he was nowhere near being able to use it to his advantage.

However, he would learn – and who better to teach it than the Master of Silent Killing himself, Kirigakure no Kijin Momochi Zabuza?

Romi had finally mastered the art of running on all fours – something no one knew why she decided to learn, but whatever. She'd also taken to the Wolf Style of taijutsu, which focused on bringing down an enemy through reliance on the pack and paying special attention to the eyes, temples, throat, and belly of the opponent – the weak spots. For the pack, Romi used kage bunshin.

She'd also taken well to the Bay Cat Style of ninjutsu, which was a unique style that incorporated the Bay Cat Taijutsu Style and involved…well, _playing_ with the prey for a bit if the user desired and getting it to fall into traps before quickly disabling the spinal cord through the neck, usually striking from the shadows. The Bay Cat Taijutsu Style was similar to the Snake Style in that it focused on flexibility and striking quickly, but it also incorporated tiring out the opponent by dodging and baiting him as she played with him.

She was a beginner in all of these styles, but the fact that her hanyō side contained a Bay Cat demon and a Wolf demon definitely helped her grasp the basics more easily.

As Romi slowly went through her kata, she paid special attention to her feet, making sure she didn't make a sound. At the moment, she was still in her human form, having achieved the first level of her Bay Cat demon form the week before – all it really did was deepen the whisker marks on her cheeks, make her ears a pointy, sharpen her teeth, and turn her nails to claws. Well, it allowed her to use a larger amount of her demonic chakra as well – the physical changes were just a result of the demonic chakra running through her system. Even so, she didn't want to use it just yet. It would be her trump card, her kirifuda, and practicing with it out in the open was a surefire way to make that trump card public – something she _didn't_ want.

Although that didn't mean she _couldn't_ train.

Wiping her brow before speeding up her kata, Romi continued to practice until she ached all over.

Rōshi and Zabuza had hit it off quite well – although they constantly argued, Zabuza seemed to deeply respect the redheaded elder, and Rōshi respected him in turn. The two could sit in comfortable silence for hours.

Rōshi was the watchful eye of the group, always keeping an eye on all of the members to make sure they were safe. He'd also taken up the position of counsel, giving his advice to the youngsters and being the backbone of the group. Even though Romi had taken up the position of the main 'leader' of the group, he was the true leader, hidden by the shadows. Romi always deferred to him when there was a big decision. Zabuza was another quiet leader, but instead of sitting back and giving advice, he muscled in and took charge if he felt Romi was unfit to handle the situation.

Rōshi, however, simply watched over the group with quiet eyes, keeping track of every anomaly and filing it away in his mind. Yes, he liked being with this group. They were surprisingly quiet, and he was able to pass his teachings on to his fellow jinchūriki. He, the container of the feared Yonbi no Saru, had found human acceptance in the most unlikely of places.

* * *

Uchiha Madara, the oldest living Uchiha and the current Mizukage's puppet-master, sat on his couch as he gently stirred his tea. Three wildcards had been thrown into the mix. The two last living heirs to the legendary Yin and Yang clans, and Chikurin…the idiot.

Madara shook his head. Idiot or not, Chikurin was many times stronger than he. And with them slowly gaining more followers, his plan would never work. Despite his controlling of one of the five main hidden villages, he was in no position to begin his plan. He'd have loved to have either the Yin or the Yang on his side, but with them under Chikurin, they were untouchable. And with their recruiting of the jinchūriki, he'd never have a shot at them…during this generation, at least.

He could wait. Life was, after all, a waiting game. A hundred years, two hundred years, even a thousand or more… He could wait that long. Once the jinchūriki were once again spread out and vulnerable, Chikurin had once again disappeared off the face of the earth, and perhaps a Yin or a Yang – maybe even both – would join his side…his plan would be put into action.

His victory would be assured.

He would rule over all.

World peace would finally be realized.

Yes, he could wait, he decided as he finally ended his 'special' genjutsu on the Yondaime Mizukage and finished his tea. Patience was a virtue, after all. And once the time had come…

…his dream would finally be realized and peace would be thrust upon the land.

* * *

**A/N: And that's a wrap! With six more months to travel, Romi and co. are nearing the climax of their time outside a village.**


	7. Mizukage

**Made of Fail**

* * *

_Chapter Five  
Mizukage_

It was Monday. Chōjūrō hated Mondays.

Chōjūrō worked as the Mizukage's 'errand boy', being a bit too awkward and shy to serve as an active ninja. This got him beaten up on a lot – no one cared about the six-year-old who ran errands for anyone he couldn't say 'no' to (for the record: that would be everyone). And on Mondays, with everyone grouchy, it was the worst…

With a light sigh, the blue-haired boy walked up to the Mizukage's office with his morning tea. Mizukage-sama had stayed up late on Sunday to finish some particularly pesky paperwork, so he'd probably be tired and snappy. Steeling his nerves, Chōjūrō knocked on the door. When he didn't hear a voice telling him to enter, he grew curious and opened it. The sight that met him made him freeze. His fingers going limp, the tea tray crashed to the floor.

The secretary growled. "Dammit, you useless kid! Now look what you've done!" She stomped over to him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, bumping into the door and making it open completely.

The resulting screams were heard across the village.

* * *

Fū and Haku had taken to spending a lot of time together, mainly resting from their vigorous training regimen. Fū had taken to teaching Haku all there was to know about the flora and fauna of the forests – he caught on quite quickly, and seemed to have a particular interest in the medicinal purposes of each plant and animal. With all their training, they were pretty strong and specialized in different things – Haku specialized in Arctic Tern Taijutsu which consisted of striking quickly (usually from above) using graceful and speedy punches while staying light on the feet, Arctic Fox Genjutsu which incorporated extreme, but completely unnoticeable illusions, blending into the environment nearly perfectly and controlling the victim's mind, and Snowy Owl Silent Killing, which required complete silence and tracking by using sound, usually after placing the victim under a genjutsu that restricted his senses – or, in Haku's case, using the Kirigakure no Jutsu. The victim wouldn't even realize he was dead.

Fū had taken to Rhinoceros Beetle Taijutsu, which consisted of using her superior strength to knock the opponent off balance – this she coupled with her Firefly Taijutsu, which gave her style more speed and agility. She also used the Tamamushi Genjutsu style, consisting of dazing her victim long enough to defeat him, as well as the Morpho Butterfly Ninjutsu style consisting of flashy attacks in a seemingly random pattern of speed and point of origin.

Of course, both of them were still just in the beginning stages of their training in these styles, and they had a heck of a long way to go before their taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjutsu were even acceptable.

Even so, Romi made sure that neither of them was pushed too hard during their training and they took frequent breaks. She always said that training was important, but killing themselves wasn't the way to do it – and she never let them train on Saturdays, saying that it was a day to relax and recharge.

At the moment, the two were sitting under a tree and listening to one of Rōshi's stories.

Romi was training with her Wolf Taijutsu while mentally listing the strengths and weaknesses – a big weakness was that in order to pull it off, she'd need to team up with people she worked with seamlessly who also knew Wolf Taijutsu; and if any of these people were killed, she'd let her emotions take hold. Of course, Wolf Style also played on the opponent's weaknesses, especially if they were alone, by wearing him out and attacking in perfect unison at the weak spots and from behind. In Romi's eyes, it was a tradeoff worth making – she could always use shadow clones for the rest of the 'pack'.

Gracefully finishing her kata, Romi wiped the sweat off her face with her sleeve. She was pooped. Training was really hard work, especially for a lazy ass like herself. Back home, she'd spent most of her time reading and writing.

With a sigh, she restarted her kata, moving more swiftly this time. For a brief moment she wondered what help it would be in an actual fight, but quickly shot that down, accepting that it would help her learn muscle memory – without learning her kata, she would be little more than a street brawler. With this thought, Romi continued to train with even more vigor than before.

Zabuza, who was sitting quietly with his back against a tree as he cleaned his blade lovingly, thought back to the other swords lying by his side – the remaining 'lost' swords of the Hidden Mist. Apparently they little group had found the Kiba, the Fangs, in a river in the Land of Rivers, and the rest – the Kabutowari 'Helmet Splitter', the Nuibari 'Sewing Needle', and the Shibuki 'Splash' – in unnamed places. The others were owned by others – Samehada 'Shark Skin' belonged to Kisame, Hiramekarei 'Flounder' belonged to Kiri, and the Kubikiribōchō, his beloved Decapitating Carving Knife, lay in his very own hands.

The other swords didn't interest him – he liked his Decapitating Carving Knife – but he decided to keep them, and perhaps reform the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist, the Kiri no Shinobigatana Shichinin Shū, once he became the Mizukage.

With a grunt, Zabuza sheathed his sword and sealed the other swords into four separate scrolls, which he attached to the strap that went across his chest, holding Kubikiribōchō in place. Either way, he'd realize his dream of capturing and fixing Kiri – he would never give up. It was in his blood.

One day, he would realize his ambition.

* * *

There was barely a month left in the group's traveling, and within their time in Mizu became a sort of living legend, known as the Rokujin no Kekkei Genkai – literally the Kekkei Genkai Six People (the Six Kekkei Genkai People). They were known far and wide, having saved hundreds of people with kekkei genkai and distributing them evenly among the Five Great Hidden Villages – and they'd found three special ones they wanted to keep with them.

Their names were Kaguya Kimimaro, Jūgo, and Hōzuki Suigetsu.

Kimimaro they'd found in an abandoned district, sitting in an open cage. Apparently his clan had just been killed off a week before and he wanted to sit in his cage one last time before leaving. Jūgo had been found playing with Sara in her smaller bird form and accepted their hand of friendship. Suigetsu had been found by his brother's grave, looking completely defeated, and eagerly joined them once he saw Zabuza and the Swords.

Suigetsu was training under Zabuza, and he had declared his intention to earn the 'Kiba' from him after being told he'd have to train hard to be able to even touch the swords in Zabuza's possession. The man was protective of the Swords and would only give them to people he knew would use them well and follow him. Inwardly, he acknowledged that Suigetsu was definitely a candidate – but he'd never voice it aloud, lest he motivate the boy to stop his training. At the moment, all he had was a practice sword – even though, of course, he'd been handling swords all his life, Zabuza was definitely making him improve.

Jūgo got extensive private training from Rōshi along with Fū – sometimes the trio was gone for days. Rōshi figured that Jūgo needed lessons in controlling the 'beast' within him. It was a bit different than being a jinchūriki, of course, but it was close enough that it had begun to help the orange-headed boy. Even though the boy showed no desire to be a ninja or fight at all, controlling his kekkei genkai was definitely a must.

Kimimaro was a tough one to train. Sara had opted to give him some clan jutsu scrolls, all noticeably old and worn, saying it was something she'd recorded while she was travelling with a Shikotsumyaku user many years ago. He usually trained on his own, but using the technique made him crave calcium – which he got in the form of figs, sardines, and whitebait. He especially liked the fish, and Jūgo and Suigetsu seemed to like them too, so they ate them together. The three were quickly becoming close friends, along with Haku and Fū.

As of that moment, the children minus Jūgo were a four-man team – Kimimaro was the calm and relaxed leader, mid- to short-range fighter and strategist, Haku the mid- to long-range fighter and a terrific backup, Fū the mid- to short-range fighter, brawler, and endurance fighter, and Suigetsu the close-range swordsman and aspiring kenjutsu master.

In their group, they had the elements of ice, water, wind, water again, wind again, and earth. Suigetsu was teaching himself raiton, or lightning type, so he could eliminate his weakness and use the Kiba, and Haku was learning to use katon, or fire type, to eliminate his own weakness. Fū and Kimimaro were also teaching each other fūton and doton, to compensate for their weaknesses. The quad actually worked extremely well together, their techniques complimenting each other and covering each others' weak spots. Their teamwork, with some training, would render them nearly unstoppable.

The eight of them were sitting around their campfire before bedtime. Fū, ever the talker, was chatting animatedly with Haku about nothing in particular, while Kimimaro and Jūgo were sitting next to each other in companionable silence. Suigetsu was sitting next to Zabuza idly attempting to use a small raiton jutsu on a rock. All was quiet. Then a kunai whizzed past the trees.

Zabuza, acting quickly, deflected it with a kunai of his own before either the children or Romi even had a chance to know it was there. "What do you want?" he asked gruffly, not moving his eyes from the fire.

At this point, Sara decided it was time to get the kids out of the area. Turning into a giant bird, she tossed Kimimaro, Fū, Suigetsu, Haku, and Jūgo onto her back and flew out into a clearing to take off. Soon she was gone.

All that was left of the group at this point were Zabuza, Romi, and Rōshi. They quickly fell into their defensive stances. Two men and a woman stepped out of the bushes, and Romi immediately recognized them as Terumī Mei, Hoshigaki Kisame, and Ao.

"Rōshi, Zabuza, Mei's got two kekkei genkai – yōton and futton – and can use doton, suiton, and katon. She's very smart and keeps a cool head in battle. Ao's got a Byakugan, but he's developed a way to protect it by using those tags that hang from his ears. He's a hunter-nin and therefore has an extensive knowledge of the human body and possesses a great deal of speed and agility, as well as being a skilled chakra sensor. And I'm pretty sure you guys know Hoshigaki Kisame."

Ao's eyes narrowed. "And how do you know this, you brat?"

Romi smirked. "Now, now, that would be telling, wouldn't it, Ao-chan?" The man frowned at this, and Kisame stepped forward. "I'm fighting Zabuza," he said simply. "I want to see how much stronger you've gotten." Zabuza looked over at Kisame. "Hmph," he said. "First, I want to know why you're here."

"You know full well why we're here, Zabuza!" Ao yelled. "You murdered the Mizukage! Your chakra signature was practically bleeding off the walls, and there were slash marks that only come from your Sword. All the evidence points that you did it!"

Zabuza simply gazed back at the man blankly. "Trust me," he said after a minute. "If I had killed the bastard, I'd have taken his title by now, and I'd have no problem letting you all know I'd succeeded. But I didn't do it, unfortunately." Ao glared at him. "You bastard…"

Mei simply smiled at Romi, who smiled back. "Hiya!" Romi chirped. "Sorry about revealing you like that, but if we're going to fight I need to protect my precious family…and that means not letting you get the upper hand. So, I'm really sorry, 'Nē-san." The auburn-haired woman waved it off. "Maa, maa, it's okay. I understand completely. But I don't want to fight if I can help it. Quite honestly, I'm just here to get answers."

Romi seemed to relax at this. "Good," she said in relief. "I'm not nearly strong enough to survive a fight with you, so I was pretty scared there for a sec'. But as long as the kids get away, I'm okay. Quite honestly, I have no clue what happened to the Mizukage. I was under the impression he was still alive. I have no fight to pick with Kiri or Mizu, and I'm sorry if it seemed that way. All we were really doing was giving kids with kekkei genkai a new place to start over, since they're not really welcome here… But I'm rambling again. I really have a problem with talking a lot when I'm nervous. You might not want to fight, but Ao-san and Kisame-san definitely do."

Mei nodded. "No problem. Would you do the honor of telling me your name?"

Romi blushed and rubbed the back of her neck. "Oh, yeah! Sorry, I still haven't gotten the hang of this whole 'meeting new people' thing. I'm Kuro Tsukiakari – no last name – but you can call me Kuro."

"How old are you, Kuro-chan?" At this, Romi paused. "Actually," she said. "Now that I think about it, I haven't been keeping track. But…my birthday is April sixteenth, and I've been wandering for nearly two years now, so…I'm seventeen, then." Mei nodded. The two continued to chat, and Mei found herself smiling more and more at this cute little girl. What an adorable kid.

Ao and Rōshi weren't having nearly that good a time of it. Ao was trying to get information about the Mizukage's death from the man, but he couldn't get any, seeing as how Rōshi had nothing to do with it.

"Well," Ao said with a sigh. "We didn't come here to fight, as much as I'd like to. Tradition states that whoever killed the last Mizukage becomes the new one – and since all evidence points that you did it, Zabuza-san…" Ao seemed to have to force the next words out of his mouth. "It has been decided that you are to be the new Mizukage."

A long silence greeted these words before Zabuza shrugged.

"Hell, why not?"

* * *

As amusing as Zabuza's sudden inauguration had been, the time to leave had come. Suigetsu had decided to stay in Mizu and be apprenticed to Zabuza. Their goodbyes had been short, but Zabuza did say that they pretty much had a free pass into Kiri whenever they wanted, so they were happy.

Soon they stood in front of Konoha's gates.

The two guards at the front gate were quite bored. Nothing happened that day. Quite honestly, what was the point of even guarding the gate? They were in a time of peace, the merchants' season was over, and no one was even –

FWOOMP

A small brown blur flew in front of them and landed rather harshly on the ground. It stood up and shook itself off to be a small girl, about the size of a twelve-year-old, with long brown hair that reached her knees that was pulled back into a braid and a big grin slapped onto her face. "That was awesome!" she yelled. "Ten-point landing, Fū-chan!" An even smaller girl, this time with short chin-length green hair and tan skin jumped onto the first girl.

"Score!" the green-haired girl yelled. The two double-high-fived. A tall, tan girl who was at least six feet tall, with short frizzy hair entered and began to laugh along with the two – then even more people entered: an elderly red-haired man with a metal face plate, a young boy with long white hair and two red dots on his forehead, an androgynous child with long black hair and pale skin, and another, tall child with flaming orange hair, red eyes, and a kind smile.

The red-haired man turned to the two guards and bowed slightly. "Hello there," he said kindly. "My family and I have been traveling for quite a while, and we wished to settle down in Konoha. Could you please tell your Hokage that 'the bird has come back to roost'?" The two guards blinked at this, obviously not understanding the message. Even so, it was painfully obvious that 'the bird has come back to roost' was definitely a hidden message. One of them nodded and contacted the Hokage's secretary through his transceiver.

Within minutes an ANBU operative had arrived. "Hokage-sama requests that you come to his office immediately. I am to escort you there." Sara grinned at the man. It had been years since she'd seen her old friend, and she was really excited to see him again. She and the rest of the group followed the ANBU through the streets, their procession gaining quite a few stares. Sara just grinned and waved at everyone. Some of the older citizens paled upon seeing her, clearly remembering the devastation she'd left behind before she'd left.

They quickly reached the Hokage Tower, a building that was shared with the Ninja Academy – a clear statement, and an obviously sentimental one. Sara walked the halls, her feet leading her to her destination. She'd traced this path so many times before that she could walk it with her eyes closed. She had been here so often that she knew every crack in the wall, every wooden floorboard, from the bottommost cornerstone to the mourning doves nesting in the roof. Idly, she wondered if their progeny was still there, from the single mated pair until now.

Too soon, she found herself in front of the Hokage's office door. Throwing caution to the wind and courtesy out the window, Sara kicked down the front door. "Hey~, Hiruzen~!" she called out, grinning like a maniac. "Miss me?" The ANBU who'd led the group there grasped Sara's shoulder, only for the Hokage to tell him to stand down.

Hiruzen stood up. He had taken off his hat – it hung on the backside of his chair – so his face and head was completely exposed. "Chikurin!" he greeted, coming around his desk to stand in front of the taller woman. "Good lord, how many years has it been since I've seen you? Never mind that, come in, old friend, and tell me all about your travels." He gave the signal for all ANBU members in the room to exit and activated the secrecy seal that was engraved into the walls, ceiling, and floor of the room. It glowed briefly through the painted walls and ceiling, and shined in between the floorboards before settling down.

Sara plopped herself down in one of the chairs in front of Hiruzen's desk and stretched out. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Romi sitting down cross-legged with Fū in her lap and Haku, Kimimaro, Jūgo, and Haku next to her. Rōshi sat in the other guest chair. Gosh, where to begin…?

"I kidnapped two kids."

Oh…yeah. Not the best way to start.

Even so, she mused, the way his pipe fell out of his mouth and land on his lap as his eyes bulged out was quite amusing. Oh, and now he was yelling at her. …Oh, yeah, she had to listen.

"– kidnapped two children!" he finished. There was a pause. "Hiruzen, your dress is on fire." It was true. The still-smoking pipe had ignited his clothes, and Sara watched in amusement as he panicked for a minute before remembering he was a ninja and putting out the fire with a suiton jutsu. Hm. He would've immediately used the suiton jutsu the last time she saw him. Perhaps calling his ceremonial robes a dress flustered him more than she thought.

That was when she remembered forcing him into dresses when he was younger.

Oh, yeah. He was definitely still traumatized from that, wasn't he? It wasn't her fault he'd make a cute uke.

"– set me on fire!" Hiruzen finished, pointing furiously at Sara. She pouted. "That was your own damn fault, otōto! You're the one who should realize that your pipe is flammable! And how many times have I told you not to smoke?"

Hiruzen sighed. "This is pointless," he muttered before speaking up again. "Well, who did you kidnap?" Romi raised her hand. "I'm here!" she chirped. "My 'nē-chan settled down in Suna, but I decided to come here."

"And you still trust Chikurin despite the fact that she kidnapped you?" Romi looked quite uncomfortable with the question and rubbed the back of her neck before looking away. "She's one of my best friends," she said. "Even though she kidnapped me, and I wish she'd have let me say goodbye to my 'kā-chan and 'tō-chan and 'nē-chan and otōto, I trust her because I know why she did it."

Hiruzen looked at the little girl in front of him before nodding in acquiescence. "All right. I take it you want to join Konoha?" At this, the girl brightened. "Yes, please!" she said. The man chuckled. "Well, I think introductions are in order," he said. "My name is Sarutobi Hiruzen. I am the Sandaime Hokage, and I lead Konoha."

Romi nodded and stood. "My name is Yin Kuro Tsukiakari. I'm the last living descendant of the Yin clan." Hiruzen coughed and dropped his pipe once more, this time being in the correct state of mind to put out the embers.

"You're a member of _that_ clan?" he asked. Romi nodded. "Yep," she said with a grin. "I…uh, yeah." Hiruzen chuckled as he held his hand to his head. "Chikurin," he said. "You are one tricky little bird."

* * *

Romi – now legally 'Kuro' was extremely happy. She was now a citizen of Konoha, and the next stage of her plan was underway. All she needed to do was find…

And there he was.

He was nothing like he would be when he was older. Instead of the classic Uzumaki Grin he slapped across his face, his face seemed to be set in an angry pout. He wore a black t-shirt and white shorts, and he glared at everything. His bright blue eyes, usually sparkling and full of mischief, held only anger and a spark of cunning.

Fū, who had been briefed on this part of the plan, ran up to him. She was just about his height, so she was able to look into his eyes. There was a pause as they looked at each other. Then Fū spoke.

"You have the same eyes I used to have," she said softly.

Naruto's eyes narrowed at this. "Who're you?" he yelled. "Don't come up to me and start saying weird things, you weirdo!" Fū's left eye twitched at this. "Shut your mouth, butthead!" she yelled, bringing her fist down on his head. "I'm just trying to make friends! And I'm still learning! Butthead!" Naruto, rubbing his throbbing skull, froze at this before slowly standing up to look at Fū.

"Well, uh, I don't know how to make friends, either!" he yelled. "So, uh, hum, my name's Uzumaki Naruto! What's yours?" Fū, forgetting her earlier ire, grinned. "I'm Fū!" she said excitedly. "And this is my mommy!" She pointed to Kuro, who grinned and introduced herself. "She's my heart mommy, 'cause I don't know my tummy mommy."

Naruto pouted. "You got _two_ mommies? I'm so jealous!" Fū shook her head. "Nah, I've only got one mommy. I grew up in an orphanage, so I don't know my tummy mommy. But 'Kā-chan came 'n 'dopted me, so she's my heart mommy." She then began to explain to Naruto the differences between the two types of mommies, which enraptured Naruto. He said that he didn't have a mommy, neither a tummy one nor a heart one, who took care of him. He was alone.

Fū's eyes softened at this. "Hey," she said. "You wanna come with me and 'Kā-chan? We're buildin' a home 'cause we're new here and don't got no money, and we wanna see the place, but we don't got no one to show us around." Naruto grinned. "Sure!" he yelled. "I know this place like the back o' my hand! I'll show ya 'round!"

* * *

The bird that sent her letter to Romi and had to have its leg amputated from frostbite was considered 'no longer acceptable for active duty'. Tarantu decided that instead of letting it be put down, since she was the one that got it into this whole mess in the first place, she'd adopt it.

He was a boy. She'd named him Seishin no Tsubasa – the Japanese phrase for 'Spirit Wings'.

The trio loved him. Kankurō didn't show it outwardly, but he had a soft spot for the bird and put up with his grooming him. Temari loved him as well, and always fussed over him. But it was obvious that Gaara loved him the most. Whenever one caught sight of the other, he'd immediately go to him. Tsubasa loved to perch on his shoulder to groom his rough brownish-red hair and often sang for him. Gaara loved the bird's voice and the two often sang together.

The three worked very hard in their training, and Temari began to use two hand-held battle fans for wind techniques, Kankurō began to learn to use battle puppets, and Gaara began to practice with a kyoketsu-shoge, a knife that had another knife splitting off the first blade at a ninety-degree angle and curving backwards. The handle was attached to ninja wire that he reinforced with chakra, giving it extra length.

The kids were all training in their private dojo with their weapons – while Temari's fans were used almost exclusively for wind jutsu, Kankurō and Gaara had to find ways to make their elemental chakra work through their respective weapons. They already had ideas, but it was hard…

Kankurō was trying to move his water chakra through his puppet to make jutsu come out of its, say, mouth or eyes. Yashamaru had suggested making his own puppet – one that had pipes running through it that could channel chakra – and he readily agreed. However, Tarantu argued that he'd have to do it on his own time, and he had to train for three more hours in taijutsu, so he was doing so – he specialized in Explosion Taijutsu. Explosion Taijutsu consisted of quickly taking down the opponent, and worked well with the element of surprise – puppet masters were usually known for their poor taijutsu, so Kankurō, as a puppet master, definitely had the element of surprise if he resorted to taijutsu.

Temari was practicing with her battle fans. Tarantu had suggested she put senbon needles in her fans and quickly expel them with wind chakra for a surprise attack. This, however, would force her to study human anatomy to get disable her target with the thin needles. However, since she was so good with her fans and wind jutsu, Tarantu had also argued that she'd need to work on her close combat – namely, her taijutsu. They'd found a style that fit her – the Weasel Style – and Temari was adapting to it quite well. Weasel Taijutsu focused on quick attacks, alertness, and agility, as well as being able to work in different terrains. Temari made it work very well.

Gaara…was a hard one to place. Eventually Tarantu gave him a kyoketsu-shoge with which he could work, and although he didn't take well to using weapons at all, he worked hard and was more in tune with his weapon than either of his siblings. His taijutsu style was also hard to discern, but eventually they found he could work well with the Otter Style. Since his taijutsu was weak overall and Otter Taijutsu used weaponry and speed, he was able to compensate for his lack of physical strength. He also began to learn the Tanuki Taijutsu style, which focused on staying low to the ground and attacking with a partner. Slowly but surely, he was beginning to mesh the two styles together and build his taijutsu strength.

The three sometimes sparred, but Gaara had a special sparring partner – because of his sand, the only one allowed to spar with him was Tarantu. It helped her taijutsu improve as well (she used the Crane Style – it suited her very well, especially with her Aikido background). At the moment, the two were sparring – Gaara still had to go slowly with his taijutsu to get his forms right – as Yashamaru kept them under his watchful gaze.

Yashamaru was quite proud of Tarantu for coming as far as she had. Before, she'd been a meek little girl with a few talents she was too scared to use. Now, she was a beautiful young woman with something precious to protect – Yōsabaku no Tarantu. She was a mother, and she protected her three adopted children with her life – a true kunoichi of Suna. Still, Kazekage-sama had asked him to keep an eye on her. Even with her abilities, he was suspicious – with his children calling her their mother, he was concerned that she'd turn their loyalties somewhere other than Suna.

With this on Yashamaru's mind, he kept his eyes trained on Tarantu. The sparring had stopped, and the two sat, panting. They were talking.

"Okā-san," Gaara said once he'd caught his breath. "I haven't killed anyone in nearly a year, right? And I've been really good, right?" Tarantu nodded with a smile. "Yeah," she responded. "I'm really proud of how far you've come, musuko."

Gaara smiled at his mother's praise for a moment before his face dropped. "You're proud of me…" he said softly. "But…everyone else is still really scared. Why are they scared of me, Okā-san?" Tarantu fell silent at this. Thinking out her words, she spoke slowly. "Well," she said, taking out a sealing scroll. "Let me explain it to you this way. What," she gestured to the scroll, "is this?"

"A…scroll."

"Now," she said, taking out a kunai. "What is this?"

"A kunai." Tarantu nodded in approval before sealing the kunai into the scroll. "Now the kunai in inside the scroll. Does this change the scroll in any way?" Gaara nodded. "Yes, the scroll now holds the kunai." Tarantu giggled at this. "Yes," she said. "But maybe I should phrase this differently. Is the scroll now the kunai it contains? Do you now see the scroll as the kunai inside of it?"

Gaara looked at her oddly. "No," he said slowly. Tarantu nodded once more. "Exactly. You, Gaara, are smarter than most people living in Suna." This confused the boy. "What?"

Tarantu smiled at him. "Gaara, most people see you as the kunai you contain, not the scroll you truly are. They are too narrow-minded and fearful of their own shadows to see any differently. But," she added, making him look up at her. "There is a way to change their opinions."

Gaara's eyes widened. "How?" he asked eagerly, his eyes full of desperation. "How can I change them, Okā-san?"

Tarantu smiled. "You must become Suna's hero. By doing great things for others, you can slowly change the people's opinions. By loving them and proving you are human, you can win their hearts. By being greater than they think you can be, they will admire and respect you."

There was a silence following this statement. Gaara looked at the ground, thinking long and hard. Then he spoke.

"I've made up my mind," he said softly. Tarantu looked at him, confused. "Gaara…?" He looked up into his mother's eyes, his own burning with a fiery passion now ignited in his soul. "I'm going to be the village's greatest hero. I'm going to be Kazekage!"

Yashamaru looked at his nephew in shock before smiling. He'd made his decision. That night he'd report to the Kazekage, as usual – then he'd inform him that there was no danger in Tarantu's being their mother figure. She wouldn't change their loyalties.

In fact, she was probably the best role model the three children could have.

* * *

True to Naruto's claim, he was able to lead them skillfully around Konoha.

For about fifteen minutes. Then they got lost.

"We're not lost!" he yelled for the umpteenth time. "I know this place, I told ya! We've just gotta go here, an' then… Whoops!" Naruto, in his enthusiasm, tripped over his own feet and fell forward into a much taller man, making them both fall.

The man sat up and shoved the young blond off of him. "You brat!" he yelled. "Watch where you're going! You're always in everyone's way, you screw-up!" Naruto's ever-present pout deepened. "Shut up, stupid! I'm tryin' 'a walk here! You're the one in my way!" Kuro quickly stepped in. "Please don't fight," she said kindly. "Sir, please, he's just a child. I'm sure he didn't fall on purpose. And Naruto, I understand that you're mad at him, but yelling at him and calling him names isn't the way to go."

The man looked as though he wanted to say something, but once he saw that he was the center of attention – everyone in the street had stopped to stare at his little showdown with the 'demon brat' – he rethought. "You must be new here," he said more kindly. "This kid is nothing but trouble. He's just a screw-up and a troublemaker."

Kuro looked down at Naruto as though she was sizing him up. Then she spoke. "Nah," she said finally. "I don't see it. Do people normally yell at him?" The man could see he was losing her. He had to reel her in quickly before that brat did. "Yeah," he said firmly. "He's always doing stupid things. He's just a loud, annoying, screw-up brat."

Kuro's eyes narrowed at the man. "Really? I didn't think that it was acceptable to call a child names. I only met him fifteen minutes ago and I can tell he has a better character than you do – and if you claims are correct, then he has better character than most of this pathetic village."

Everyone within hearing distance fell silent.

"I don't know what he's done to you, but he's a _child_. He, as a _child_, is mostly governed by his instincts and emotions. Surely the blame lies with whoever raised him and encouraged him to act in this way by being cruel to him in the first place?" When there was no answer, her eyes narrowed once again and she shot a chilling glare at the man. "You're pathetic for lowering yourself to insulting an innocent child. If I didn't already immigrate to Konoha, I'd have taken this poor child and left pathetic trash like you behind. He'd be much happier, I'm sure."

Then, in an act most contrary to what she'd shown of her personality to the Konoha populace, she turned to smile down at Naruto. "I'm sorry you have to deal with these people, Naru-chan," she said sweetly, as though she were comforting her own child. "Come on, let's leave these buttheads behind and go have some fun."

Naruto, who didn't understand anything being said, but had enough of a mind to understand that the girl in front of him was protecting him, nodded, a large, uncharacteristic grin stretching across his features. "Sure!" he yelled. "Those buttheads are stupid! Let's go somewhere else and have some fun!" Kuro's grin mirrored his own, but before she could speak, Fū jumped in. "Awesome!" she yelled. "I saw this really cool playground on the way here! You wanna go play there?"

"Sure!" Fū then took off. "Last one there's a rotten egg!"

"Oi, wait up!"

Kuro smiled at the two as she rushed after them. It was going to be hard to teach Naruto and get him to trust her as much as Fū did, but she knew it would be worth it – it had to be.

* * *

By nighttime, Kuro's clones had finished burning out a decent-sized room in one of the trees in Training Area Forty-Four – the Forest of Death. It wasn't nearly finished, but it was livable for the night. The poofed away, leaving Kuro with the images of their success. Escorting Naruto back to the orphanage, she found that an irate matron was standing there.

"You're past curfew!" she barked at the blond, whose pout returned full-force. Before anyone could say anything else, however, Kuro bowed. "I'm very sorry, ma'am," she said apologetically. "I'm new to Konoha, and this young man kindly assisted me in finding my way around. I had no idea there was a curfew, and we lost track of time. I take full blame for his lateness, and I hope he is not punished for my mistake – he did be a great favor today, and it would be terrible if he were to be punished for so kindly stepping up to help me."

There was an underlying threat hidden beneath Kuro's words, and judging by the matron's expression, she definitely caught it. She seemed to debate with herself for a moment before conceding. "All right," she said with a sigh. "I shall see to it that he is not punished. But it better not happen again!" Kuro nodded. "I'll make sure it won't, ma'am. If you don't mind my asking, when exactly is curfew?"

The matron looked at her blankly for a moment before responding. "Five o'clock." Kuro thanked her, said goodbye to Naruto with a hug, let Fū hug him goodbye as well, and left, leaving Naruto to sleep alone in that blasted orphanage for what, Kuro vowed, would be his last night with no family.

* * *

**A/N: Yes! I'm liking this chapter a lot, and definitely like the ending. Tarantu got some time to**** shine, and the next chapter will focus mainly on her – even though I'm sure you all want to know how Kuro's plan (and yes, she does have a plan) will turn out. I'm evil like that.**


	8. New Me

**Made of Fail**

* * *

_Chapter Six  
New Me_

Tarantu lived in relative comfort – she lived with the Kazekage's children in their wing of the manor as their attendant, and had her own room with a soft yet firm futon in one corner of the room with the softest blankets and covers. The window next to the futon was large and gave a perfect view out onto the landscape. Her closet was filled with cute outfits for every occasion in every climate, from the freezing cold of the far north and far south to the blistering heat of the desert. She had a bathroom leading out of her bedroom with crisp, clean mirrors, a metal sink, and a shower/tub combo with luxurious shampoos and conditioners, body lotions, razors, and fluffy, white towels that were soft to the touch. She had everything she could need.

But Tarantu was lonely.

Ever since she'd gone out living in the wild two years ago, she'd gotten used to sleeping in the cold and huddling with Romi and Sara to share body heat (Romi was literally her space heater). She'd gotten used to sleeping alone again, but it was a strange experience compared to before. Even spending two years in this new world, she still sometimes woke up not knowing where she was and panicking for a minute before remembering. She'd remember the intricacies of her home world compared to the plain lines of this cartoon one and become nostalgic. Even living in a desert itself was a new experience.

So she combated it the only way she knew how – she visited her adopted children by night.

It started out with only Gaara. He was so used to not sleeping that he'd still stay up all night, and it took heavy meditation plus Tarantu's rubbing his back and tucking him in to finally get to sleep. Once he did fall asleep, Tarantu would run her hands through his rough hair and simply stare at him in wonder. This boy looked upon her as his mother – she was the most important figure in his life. It was such a new concept for her that she'd be struck dumb by such simple things as the moonlight streaking across his sleeping cheek. Then, when she remembered where she was, she'd kiss the 'Love' mark on his forehead and retreat to her room to go to sleep.

When Temari had begun to see her as her mother, she'd gone to her as well. The fact that she now had two children calling her 'mother' was made apparent during these times, as she went from one room to the other to check on her 'children'. She read them both bedtime stories – not the cheesy ones with the 'happily ever after' endings, Temari hated those (she read them to Gaara though; he loved them). Instead, she had to work her mind to come up with new stories, mainly using ones from her previous life. They seemed to love those, the ones about her childhood.

Then Kankurō became her son as well, and she learned to adapt to his favored bedtime treatment. Although he didn't say it outright, he loved reading poetry. The way the words dashed across a page could create complex wisps of images and scenes fascinated him, as he was normally a simpler, logical person. During the day, he was tough and belligerent, but at night he became a softer person, perhaps due to his tiredness.

All three of them became her children, and the ache in her heart lessened when she was with them. She loved them with all her heart – their differing personalities, their individual quirks – she loved them all.

But Tarantu was still lonely.

At night, her problems seemed to become clearer without her daily distractions getting in the way. Although she didn't show it to the others in the household, there was a gaping hole in her heart from when she was torn from her family without even a chance to say goodbye. She'd never see them again.

In a way, it was almost intangible, the pain of losing such an anchor in her life. She guessed it was true, you never know what you had 'til it was gone. She had had a loving family, and although they got on her nerves sometimes, they were a part of her. It was like losing a limb, but not in a physical way – more mental. It was that feeling someone would get if he suddenly got blindfolded and wasn't able to see where he was going – it was an empty, primal feeling.

Stifling a sigh, Tarantu dipped her brush in her inkwell and began to write.

_Imōto –_

_So you've gotten to Konoha, huh? I bet it's really green there. We're in the middle of the wet season here, and the plants are thriving – I'm thinking of starting a small herbal garden, or maybe get a small desert tree (maybe a desert willow – those are pretty) to practice bonsai. Of course, that'd be a big hassle during the dry season, but perhaps if I ration the water…_

_Of course, with the wet season, the ground has become quite a bit muddy – Gaara loves it, though, since it gives him a chance to practice his suiton jutsu without worrying about water shortages. Even though we're on an oasis, water can get short. It hasn't gotten bad enough for me to get put on water runs, but everyone's predicting a very dry season coming up, so maybe I'll get my chance._

_The kids are doing well – Kankurō's six now, getting very good at his puppetry, and he's working on making his own, but he's also found a taijutsu style that suits him, so that's a good sign. I've also begun to teach him some genjutsu. Gaara's five now, his seal is holding up well, and his sand techniques are as good as ever – Shūkaku's helping him out. They've got a good partnership. His taijutsu's improving slowly but surely, and he and Temari have been practicing fūton jutsu together._

_Speaking of Temari, she seems to have been getting a bit restless lately – more than usual, I mean. I've been teaching her taijutsu and how to correctly use her battle fans (those scrolls Sara gave me work wonders), and her ninjutsu arsenal is growing, but lately she's been showing an interest in doing more 'normal kid' things. She's eight now and still has no idea as to what normal kids do for fun. I don't know what they've been teaching in the Academy, but maybe she's learned something there that's shaken her up a bit. I'm going to talk to her about it._

_Yashamaru-sempai's been training me into the ground lately! My chakra control is pretty damn good by this point, at least, and I'm able to suspend items in midair before throwing them – all without touching them! He's proven to be a very good instructor._

_Oh, I almost forgot: Gaara's got a new dream – he wants to be Kazekage someday. Heard that anywhere before? :)_

_I've got to finish up now, though, since the day is starting and I'm ready to roll. I want to visit soon (or maybe you could visit me, I'm not too picky), so mark a space on your calendar!_

_Ja ne –_

_Your 'Nē-chan_

She dried it with a mild fūton jutsu and put it in an envelope. Normally she wouldn't be so frank and open in easily-intercepted letters, but this wasn't going to be intercepted. With a grin, she dropped the letter onto a piece of parchment and watched in satisfaction as it dropped through as though it were air before disappearing. It would be brought directly to her little sister.

* * *

Kuro was feeling terrific. Haku had finally met up with his parents, who'd emigrated from Mizu no Kuni to escape the prejudice against kekkei genkai wielders. Kasumi, Haku's mother, was invited to begin her clan anew, since she was a kekkei genkai-wielding member of the community. She'd agreed, and so the Yuki clan was active once more. Haku was going to enroll in the Academy, and Haruo restarted his farm in Konoha.

Kimimaro was going to enroll in the Academy as well – in Haku's class – and had been sent a letter similar to Kasumi's, which stated that once he became a chūnin-level ninja, he'd be able to become a clan head and restart the Kaguya clan in Konoha. At his age, he didn't really care, but realized that it would give him a lot of political sway, so he began training harder than ever to become a clan head and learn politics.

Jūgo didn't want to join the Academy, stating that he'd rather live peacefully. Kuro had convinced him, however, to continue training anyway, if only to control his 'wild side' so he wouldn't hurt someone precious to him.

Fū's status as a jinchūriki was kept secret from all but the Hokage, and she, like Kimimaro and Haku, wanted to join the Academy. She wanted to be on a team with her friends, and as such wanted to be placed in a class with them. Of course, they all had to prove they were at the same level in order to be in the same class, but the trio had that figured out.

Kuro's only child that officially took her name so far was Fū, since Kimimaro and Jūgo, as kekkei genkai-wielders, weren't allowed to take another name (even though Jūgo didn't exactly, um, have one). That didn't stop her from adopting them anyway, though, and all three were now her children – and if all went well, Naruto would be adopted by her as well.

Speaking of Naruto, they'd picked him up to absorb him into their group for the rest of the day. He'd been eager to play with Fū again, and was ecstatic to meet Kimimaro and Jūgo (Haku was spending time with his parents). He was still awkward and loud, but Kuro hoped that with a family, he'd calm down.

At the moment, Kuro was playing with the four children, keeping a close eye on all of them while also cutting loose and having fun. She let her hair down instead of putting it in a ponytail like she usually did which made her hair fly behind her like a flag as she ran and laughed. This made many people do a double-take, as though they couldn't believe what they were seeing. Kuro didn't notice. She was oblivious like that.

With a grin nearly splitting her face, Kuro laughed loudly, making even more people double-take. Still not noticing, she chased after the four children. They were playing 'tag' and she was 'it'. She quickly tagged Kimimaro, who became 'it' and, with a long-suffering sigh, began to chase his family.

Yes, Sara mused as she watched them with Hiruzen through his crystal ball. They were settling in nicely.

* * *

Tarantu kept up with her friend's life through her letters, hanging onto them like a lifeline. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she was in a downward spiral, but she kept the thought as far away from the front of her mind as possible. No one else had noticed – as far as she knew, anyway.

Sara had turned up. She knew, even though she hadn't been there, about her near-breakdown. Without saying a word, she put a hand on Tarantu's forehead and the two disappeared silently.

Suddenly, Tarantu opened her eyes and gasped. She wasn't in the Naruto-verse anymore. The detail, the lack of black outlines…

She was home.

Tarantu fell and began to sob.

Tarantu – now Tallant – spent hours just crying and being tearfully reunited with her family. She told them everything that happened, and while she could tell they didn't believe her at first, one jutsu was all it took to get their trust in what she'd done. When Sara informed her that it was time to go, the goodbye was just as tearful as the hello. But now, at least, she had a two-way mirror with which she could connect with her family.

She returned to Suna immediately after she left, with the sun and everything else in the exact same place. Without a word, but leaving a kind smile in her wake, Sara disappeared and Tarantu put the mirror in a secure scroll before stuffing it in her drawer.

Her downward spiral had stopped, and she was now whole again.

* * *

Kuro was at the Ninja Academy, waiting in the office with Fū and Kimimaro. Haku was sitting in between his parents. The trio was attempting to get into the Academy. A man with brown hair pulled up into a ponytail and a straight scar across his nose led them into the office. "The principal is out today," he said kindly. "So I'll be doing your intakes. My name is Umino Iruka. May I ask your names?"

Kasumi smiled and introduced her family first. "I am Yuki Kasumi from the Yuki clan. This is my husband, Haruo, and my son, Haku, who inherited my kekkei genkai – we have the ability to use Ice Release techniques." Iruka seemed interested in this and wrote it down before turning to Kuro.

"I'm Yin Kuro Tsukiakari," she said, and Iruka blinked. The girl in front of him used the masculine pronoun form, 'ore'. And the markings on her face looked exactly like Uzumaki Naruto's… He shook this off as she continued. "This is my daughter, Yin Fū," she gestured to the green-haired girl in front of her, "and my son, Kaguya Kimimaro. They're both adopted, and Kimimaro has the Shikotsumyaku kekkei genkai, which allows him to use his bones as weapons."

This interested Iruka even more. Two new kekkei genkai wielders being introduced to Konoha… He had to be dreaming. "And Fū-chan?"

"No kekkei genkai, but a special…affinity for jutsu using insects." Okay, now that made it sound like she was a long-lost Aburame. If the idea wasn't so ridiculous, he might've considered it. "Oh, that's interesting," he said with a kind smile toward Fū. "There are only three requirements to enter the Ninja Academy," he said, now directed towards everyone. "The first is that you must love the village and hope to help preserve peace and prosperity. The second is that you must have a mind that will not yield, able to endure hard training and work, and the third is that you must be healthy in mind and body. If these conditions are met, your admission to the Academy will be granted."

He finished his speech and was met by silence. The first to speak was Fū. "That's it?" she asked. "That's easy. I got friends here, and I made goals here. I love the village if 'Kā-chan does, and she does! It's better than Taki, anyway. The second's easy, too. I spent most o' my life not 'yielding' and was able to survive on my own 'til 'Kā-chan came for me. And I'm healthy in mind and body. 'Kā-chan makes sure o' that. I eat all o' my veggies and train all the time. And my mind's always sharp. So I'm gonna go ta this Academy!"

Haku agreed to this. "This place is far better than Mizu ever was. People here love kekkei genkai, not fear them. I love Konoha, and I want to help make it even greater than it already is. I'm healthy in mind and body thanks to the training regimen Kuro onē-san, Zabuza onī-san, and Sara onē-san put me through. My mind will not yield, since I have gone through so much stress in the past year and I have yet to crack. I believe I will be able to excel in this Academy."

Kimimaro was the last to speak. But finally, he did. "I don't yet know if I love anything at the moment. I do, however, know that I love Okā-san. She gave me a purpose and was the only person who did so. If she loves Konoha, I will. I will not let her down. I don't yet know if my mental state can be considered 'normal' considering my upbringing, but I know I am of sound mind and body." There was silence after this, and Kuro hugged Kimimaro close to her, running her fingers through his hair. "Musuko…"

An awkward silence settled over the group, which was interrupted by Iruka clearing his throat. "Well," he said. "I believe that you'd all be fit to enter, but since we usually don't get admissions for older children, I'd like to see their abilities so far so we can put them in the correct educational group." This helped diffuse some of the awkwardness, and the group gladly stepped outside.

Kimimaro was asked to go first – Iruka wanted to spar with him to see how good he was. When he gave the signal to go, Kimimaro wasted no time in bringing his arms up and silently firing the tips of his finger bones at the man, who, in his surprise, was just barely able to dodge them.

Iruka, now fully aware that Kimimaro was stronger than the average child his age, began to take the spar more seriously. He fell into a defensive stance and waited for him to attack. Kimimaro, seeing this, went on the offensive and made bone armor to cover his lower arms and the back of his hands. Due to his inexperience, he couldn't keep it up for very long, but he was going to give it his all and see how good he really was.

As Kimimaro attacked him with a flurry of punches and kicks which were easily blocked, Iruka's analytical mind assessed Kimimaro's work. He was actually very good for his age, and although Iruka had felt and survived much harder, his attacks were nothing to sneeze at. He was probably just above the level of the number one rookie in the older class. Not enough to give him a challenge, but good enough to actually make him do something.

Having decided that he'd assessed the boy's attacks correctly, Iruka decided to go on the offensive and see how good his blocking was. Kimimaro actually had a pretty good defense, but it looked heavy and hard to move when he used it – he covered his entire body with bone armor. Signaling an end to the activities, he ran Kimimaro through a number of other exercises, including kunai throwing, genjutsu, ninjutsu, and stealth. His aim was above average, although it still needed work. He could easily figure out he was in a genjutsu and was able to dispel them, but he had no practice in making them. His ninjutsu was, other than his bone-using jutsu, Academy-level, although his stealth was quite good and he knew some more advanced techniques, such as water-walking and tree-climbing.

Next up was Haku. He was quite nervous, but took a deep breath, bowed to Iruka, and fell into his Arctic Tern Taijutsu. Iruka quickly assessed it – Haku stood tall, leaning forward slightly, and kept his arms cocked back. Then he rushed at him.

It was a taijutsu style that, once again, Iruka had never seen before. The effeminate boy would flitter around him like a fairy, attacking with sharp strikes and a few dive-bombs. Haku was more agile than Kimimaro, but his hits were much softer – even so, the boy seemed to know exactly where to hit to cause the most damage. With that thought, Iruka went on the offensive and watched as the boy easily dodged all of his strikes.

As the test continued, he found that Haku didn't know how to handle kunai or shuriken. Instead, the boy took out senbon needles and began to throw them at the human-shaped target with deadly accuracy. Iruka raised a brow at this. All the spots he'd hit were high-lethality areas – he must've been trained in human anatomy at some point.

Haku excelled at the genjutsu portion of the test, being able to do more genjutsu than the average chūnin. His ninjutsu were average-level Kiri-style, so that was a bit of a shocker, and his stealth was also good for his age. He also knew water-walking and tree-climbing. He'd still need some work, but he'd be a very good accuracy fighter if he had the appropriate training.

The last one up was Fū. She, unlike the others, sported a giant, confident grin. "I'm glad I'm last," she said. "Now I can really show off!" On the sidelines, Kuro shook her head. "Don't be overconfident," she muttered as she rolled her eyes with a smile. Iruka smiled at this, too.

"Alright," he said with a sigh. "Let's begin." As soon as the words left his mouth, the five-year-old girl quickly dashed forward and slugged him – thankfully she was pulling her punches, but either way the blow knocked Iruka several meters away, onto his back. He was slowly able to get back up. "Well," he said weakly. "I think you cracked a few ribs there." He winced. She had average form, but he was _not_ expecting that amount of strength from the thin little girl.

She smiled weakly and rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah… Maybe I should'a warned ya. I'm super-strong." Iruka mirrored her smile as Haku quickly ran up to him and began using a healing jutsu on his ribs after unzipping his flak jacket. "You should be fine," he said softly as he removed his hands from the man's chest area. "I'd recommend avoiding strenuous activities for the moment, though. I remember the first time Fū-chan hit me."

Iruka, still a bit in shock at the fact that he'd just gotten his ass handed to him by a five-year-old and the fact that a nine-year-old was able to do a healing jutsu to fix him, nodded. "Arigatō," he said gratefully, feeling his ribs underneath his vest.

He stood up and smiled at Fū. "Well, I didn't really get your defensive skills, but if they're anywhere near as good as your offence, I don't think I need to see them." He continued to write down Fū's abilities as she continued through the test. Her aim was below average – it seemed as though she was really more suited for close-range combat – and her genjutsu skills were non-existent. Even so, she was able to dispel them easily. Her ninjutsu skills were…interesting, to say the least. She had a very unique ninjutsu style, but they were very low-level. Her stealth was actually very good, better than Kimimaro's, and she, like the others, also knew water-walking and tree-climbing.

He finished up his observations and smiled at the waiting parents and children. "Actually," he informed them, "I think that they'll be able to graduate with this year's class."

* * *

Tarantu's one hundred-eighty degree mood shift didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the household. Her smiles grew bigger, she was calmer, and she didn't look as though she were about to have a mental breakdown any minute. Of course, they didn't say anything. As long as she was feeling better, they didn't need to do so, anyway.

Yashamaru was proud of her – at the rate she was going, she'd be able to take the Chūnin Exams soon. Even though Suna had much higher standards for their ninja, she'd definitely be able to make it. Ever since her change in attitude, she'd been learning and training faster and harder than ever. The kids were also relieved about her transformation.

She'd readily exchanged letters with Romi – now apparently 'Kuro' – but refrained from saying anything about her family or the mirror to her friend.

At the moment, Tarantu was standing in the Kazekage's office at attention. The two were alone. "Tarantu," he said. "Yashamaru has been keeping me updated on your progress, and I believe you are ready to take the Chūnin Examination." Tarantu, learned enough in politics to feel that he hadn't yet finished, stayed silent. There was a long pause in which she resisted the urge to wipe her sweaty palms on something. Even after all this time, the man angered her – angered and frightened her.

Even so, she still knew enough not to encourage his wrath – if she did, who would look after her three beautiful children?

A part of her mind was morbidly amused at how she'd taken her superior's children from him – she, who didn't even feel as though she belonged in this strange, new world, who probably wasn't even supposed to be here in the first place, had earned the love of three children who didn't even love their own father. She, the trio's unofficial mother.

The silence was broken when the Kazekage once again spoke.

"For the duration of these exams, you will be filling an empty space on one of our other genin teams. You shall be the acting team leader during these exams, and you are to let them know that dissent will not be accepted. Use force if necessary." The Kazekage's chair, which had been facing the window behind his desk, overlooking his village, suddenly swiveled around, showing his stern, disapproving face – the face that Kankurō always hated that he'd inherited – and spoke once more, his voice chilled.

"Failure will not be tolerated. You _shall_ showcase the might of Sunagakure no Sato." Tarantu met the man's steel-like gaze calmly. "Hai, Kazekage-sama." The man swiveled his chair back towards the window and Tarantu, knowing she'd been dismissed, bowed low and exited the room.

Yashamaru had discussed the details of the Exam – that he was allowed to discuss, anyway – with Tarantu. Her teammates would be Gīchi and Maiko, a boy and a girl – their third teammate, Reiko, had died on a mission due to their own carelessness. Gīchi was bloodthirsty, but cold and calm, while Maiko was cruel and had a volatile temper. Since Tarantu had no careless mistakes under her belt and was the strongest out of all of them, she was to lead them.

This worried her. How exactly was she going to lead them? She was the antithesis of what a Suna kunoichi should be – soft, innocent, and more of a healer than a true fighter. Perhaps… Perhaps the Kazekage was testing her… But why would he do that during the Exams? Didn't he want to showcase Suna's might? Testing someone during the Exams, as ironic as it may seem, was _not_ done – and _definitely_ not done by _Suna_.

So what could it be? Why?

Tarantu pushed the thoughts out of her head. It wouldn't do to worry over the man's reasons – she had to meet her team. Yashamaru led her around a bend and onto the training ground she'd stayed at her first night in Suna, back when she and Kuro had been together.

Her first impression of the team… She didn't like them. Gīchi had dark brown hair and tanned skin with beady black eyes, and he wore a white poncho that most of the sand-dwellers wore. He had a blank expression on his face, but his eyes were full of malice. Maiko looked exceedingly smug and sat against a rock, idly playing with a dangerous-looking dagger. She had short blonde hair in a spiky ponytail with arrogant green eyes and tan skin.

At their arrival, the two looked up and eyed them calmly, Maiko with oozing arrogance and Gīchi with a hint of bloodlust. The two immediately humbled, however, when they recognized Yashamaru – he wasn't an elite jōnin for nothing. The man survived Gaara on a daily basis!

"Maiko, Gīchi," Yashamaru said coldly – it always intrigued Tarantu how he could change like that – "this is your new teammate, Yōsabaku no Tarantu." Maiko's eyes flashed. "She's got a title already?" she asked, jealousy tinting her voice. Yashamaru ignored this and continued to speak. "She is to be your team leader for the Chūnin Exams coming up. Kazekage-sama has decided to forgive your past transgressions and allow you to participate." His voice grew even colder. "Failure will not be tolerated.

"The Chūnin Exams start in July – the date has not yet been officially decided – and will be held here in Suna. Do not disappoint. Kazekage-sama will be most…displeased." The color drained out of the two's faces, and Yashamaru turned to Tarantu with a smile. "Dinner will be at seven. Do not be late – Gaara-sama refuses to eat unless you're there." Tarantu giggled, relishing in the shock coming from her temporary teammates' faces. "I'll be there, don't worry. I'll see you later, Yashamaru-sempai."

"Ja ne, Tarantu-kōhai." As Yashamaru left, Tarantu turned to her teammates with a smile. "Well, now that the introductions out of the way, who's up for a little…spar?"

The two paled at the thought of someone who hung around _the_ Gaara sparring with them, making Tarantu's smile grow. "Shall we?"

Maiko and Gīchi, working together, were just _barely_ unable to bring Tarantu down. She stood over the two of them, panting, as they lay on the ground, nearly out from exhaustion, before she frowned. 'Is this really the extent of my power?' she thought. 'At the risk of sounding like Sasuke, I should be better than this…' And she should have been. It was only because of her demon blood that she was able to outlast the two, and only then, it was not by much. The two, despite their weaknesses, worked extremely well together. Despite her accomplishments, Suna had very high standards and she was, altogether, just at about chūnin level.

With a shrug, Tarantu glanced at the sun. It was, by its position, about seven o'clock. Shit. "I'm gonna be late for dinner! Good work, guys, eleven o'clock tomorrow, same place!" With that, she disappeared with a shunshin and left the two staring, dumbfounded at her.

'She's not human…'

* * *

Suna, unlike Konoha, didn't wait until the last minute to tell their teams that the Chūnin Exams were coming up. Instead, they prepared the teams months in advance, so as to train them up – and only the teams they were _absolutely certain_ would get through were nominated. To participate in the Exams as a Suna ninja, one needed to be solidly at chūnin level. And Tarantu, while unassuming and modest, was definitely at chūnin level – she'd been trained by the best. After all, only the best could be Gaara's personal minder.

Of course, her training was not yet done – training was _never_ done. To be a Suna ninja, one must never slack off in his duties or training. The Kazekage mused on this as he drank his steaming tea (he always liked tea after a hard day's work – especially with a hint of honey). The girl was exceedingly innocent, having never even taken another life, and yet she showed herself to be quite capable. He sometimes watched her secretly during her training with Yashamaru, and he was quite approving of her improvement.

She had amazing chakra control, and showed great promise as a medic-nin – even though it was a field not many went into, as Suna wasn't the type to deal with them. Even so, the field was growing since the number of their troops went down and each soldier became more valuable. And while she still preferred to heal rather than fight, she wasn't above hurting someone if the situation called for it.

Even so…the Kazekage was curious. The girl had refused to take a life yet, and while she'd been able to get away with it so far, she would still need to finally do it.

And the Exams were the perfect place to make her finally make the plunge. There were people there who'd actually try to kill her, and wouldn't stop until they themselves were dead. She'd be forced to finally kill. Of course, the Kazekage knew she could do it – he'd never had nominated her for the Exams had he not been. He knew that she wouldn't break. But it was up to her to take the final plunge. He couldn't make her kill – to do so would most definitely break her; he'd seen it happen enough times to know that that wasn't the way to go.

Heaving a sigh, the man stretched his neck to the side, hearing a few satisfying 'pops' and put the last of his paperwork in his 'finished' pile before calling someone in to file the paperwork correctly and finally going back to his house.

Yes…Tarantu would rise to his challenges. He was sure of it.

* * *

Kuro grinned as she skipped through the village, her long brown tresses flowing behind her. She'd gotten more used to letting it flow freely rather than put it up in a ponytail now that she actually lived in a village and not on the run. She'd also changed her outfit to a black and white happi coat with the sleeves ripped off along with black nin-pants with bandages wrapped around her ankles and the bottoms of her pants. She still, however, went barefoot.

"I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts," she sang loudly. "There they are standing in a row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head! Ya give 'em a twist, a flick o' the wrist, that's what the showman said!" Humming the tune, she continued to skip through the town, dodging and weaving through the crowd until she was finally free of the masses and was able to run straight to her home – Training Area Forty-Four. Charging chakra to her legs and jumping onto the top of the fence, wincing at the hot metal, having gathered heat throughout the day, and jumped off into the trees, jumping through the thick branches for maybe ten minutes before going underneath one of the gargantuan limbs and disappearing into a hole at the crotch.

Contrasting sharply with the ominous environment outside, the inside of the tree was small and homey, with very Spartan furnishings. In once corner was a small counter with a small, but intricate seal carved onto it – the kitchen counter/refrigerator. In another corner was a messy desk, covered with papers and scrolls – that was Kuro's 'office'. In the third corner was a large, blanket-covered mat – the bedroom – and in the fourth corner, there was a table covered with art supplies and kids' toys.

Yep. It wasn't much, but it was home.

Kuro grinned as she greeted her three children with hugs and kisses – Jūgo seemed to especially like being hugged – before heading over to her desk and beginning to compulsively clean. Having OCD had its perks, and being able to ward off stress by organizing her things was one of them… Actually, it was really just the only perk.

Soon, her desk was completely clean and the scrolls that originally covered it were neatly organized in a small bookshelf she'd made from a henged kage bunshin – it would have to do until she got enough money to get a real one – layered neatly on top of each other in a zigzag pattern. The papers she had on her desk were neatly stacked beside it in neat piles (she'd have to get a file cabinet, too…) and her pencils were standing in a tin can she'd found on the side of the road and cleaned. Finally finished, she sat and began to work on her seal-work.

Taking a paintbrush from the tin can and dipping it into the inkwell, she paused for a minute, thinking about what the hell exactly she was going to do – she was never good at thinking much – and after drawing a blank, she sighed and began to sketch out an idea for a chakra containment seal – one that would be irremovable unless unlocked, and one that would actually hold the user's chakra. It would, if applied correctly, seal away about half of the user's chakra, thus leaving them with only half to use. In a real fight, it would be useless unless she got close enough to transfer the seal onto them, but the real reason she made it was for people with giant chakra reserves and little control. That way, with less chakra to use, the control would get better. It would also be a terrific training tool, and one that could raise chakra levels too – the smaller the chakra reserves are, the easier it is to expand them.

With a grin, she continued to work on her project.

Then an ANBU materialized in her tree.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, I'm a bitch. People who don't like the fact that I've redone this because the other one was cuter, don't worry! This'll get way cuter than that one as time goes on! Trust me; I've got this under control. Kuro's antics will get more and more amusing, and she'll meet Kakashi soon. He won't know what hit him.**


	9. Newcomer

**Made of Fail**

* * *

_Chapter Seven  
Newcomer_

Kuro gracefully leapt from her desk, pulled out a kunai…and promptly tripped over the chair and fell flat on her face. "Fuck!" she yelled in English – she didn't want to curse in Japanese in front of her kids. Rubbing her nose and grumbling, she looked up at the intruder. "What do you want?" she grumped before pointing a finger at him. "And it's rude to enter someone's home without knocking and taking your shoes off!"

The man looked at her. He wore the standard ANBU uniform, and judging by the position of his ANBU tattoo (left shoulder), he was a man. He had gravity-defying silver hair which flew upwards and to the left, and wore a dog mask. Her eyes narrowed. She knew exactly who this guy was.

The ANBU – let's call him 'Inu' for now – looked at her from behind his blank porcelain mask as he registered the gleam of recognition in the girl's eyes. "My apologies," he said stiffly, in his monotone ANBU voice. The girl looked at him for a moment before laughing.

"Wow," Kuro said after her giggles receded. "Quiet type, huh? Okay, Wallflower, what'd'ya want?" Inu – or 'Wallflower' – simply looked at her, thankful for his mask, since his eye was twitching. 'Wallflower…?' Seeing as she was still expecting an answer, he spoke. "Hokage-sama wishes to see you as soon as it is convenient." Kuro nodded. "Mmkay," she said. "I'll be right there." She quickly stood, having spent the entire conversation seated on the floor, and washed her brush with a small suiton jutsu before putting it down and putting the cap on her ink before turning to look at him – he'd disappeared. "Teme…" she muttered under her breath.

The rest of the family looked at her in amusement. "'Kā-chan!" Fū yelled. "That guy… Was he one of the weirdoes you were talkin' 'bout?" Kuro shoved a pinky finger in her ear. "Geez, Fū-chan, don't yell."

"Sorry."

"And yeah, he's one of the weirdoes. He actually comes off as a lazy, terminally late, aloof, pervert." Kimimaro shook his head. "Why would anyone do that?" he asked. "It seems to serve no purpose." Kuro smiled at him. "Actually," she said, "it does serve a purpose. He gets people to leave him alone that way. And he's not the worst. You ever seen Maito Gai? It's really amusing to watch." With a laugh, she waved goodbye and hopped out of the tree.

Outside, Inu was hiding, following her. She had seen through his ANBU disguise and was able to understand that his aloof manner was a mask. It was…strange.

She had the power to see through ANBU disguise. Hokage-sama would have to be warned.

* * *

Kuro hummed a happy tune as she trotted up to the Hokage's office, attempting to enter through the window without realizing it was closed – and smashing into it. "Ow…" she muttered, holding her sore nose. Sheepishly, she stood and knocked on the window, much to the amusement of the Hokage and the others in the room. With a chuckle the old man opened the window and Kuro stepped in, rubbing the back of her neck in mild embarrassment. "Hehe, thanks Ojī-chan."

A few of the people in the room frowned at this, while others chuckled. One, a dark-haired man with pale skin and black eyes, spoke. "Insolent brat, that's the Hokage. Show some respect." Kuro frowned and rubbed the back of her neck, giving the man a squinty-eyed, inquisitive look. Abandoning the rubbing of her neck, she instead began to stroke an invisible beard while inspecting the Hokage up and down, still with the same squinty-eyed look.

"Nah," she finally said. "I don't see it." There was a pause. Then, "What's a Hokage?"

Sara, who'd been leaning against the wall, stood up straight and walked over to Kuro. "He's one of the nice old men with the funny hats, Ro." Kuro nodded in understanding. "Ooh…" Then, clearing her throat, she turned to the Hokage and bowed respectfully. "In that case, I duly apologize for my lack of respect, Hokage-sama. Please forgive my insolence." Hiruzen looked at her with a mild pout before turning to Sara.

"I thought you weren't able to corrupt her?"

"I can't corrupt someone who's already insane, Hiruzen, I told you that." The old man sighed and told Kuro to rise. She gave him a giant grin. "So…why am I here?" Hiruzen smiled and gestured for her to take a seat at the table where the other people were sitting, and on closer inspection, she realized that they were all clan heads. Suddenly a bit nervous, Kuro tugged at the bottom of her happi coat and quietly sat down, glancing around the table and catching everyone's eyes as she did so. There was Uchiha Fugaku, Hyūga Hiashi, Aburame Shibi, Yamanaka Inoichi, Nara Shikaku, Akimichi Chōza, Inuzuka Tsume, and, of course, Sarutobi Hiruzen. He sat at the head of the table, while Sara leaned against the wall behind him.

"Now, everyone," he said. "I understand you're wondering why you're all here. The truth is that another clan is to be joining us." A few mutters broke out, but for the most part, they were silent. A few, however, had directed their gazes towards Kuro, who gave them a big grin and a light finger-wave, making Sara snort.

Hiruzen cleared his throat, and everyone's gazes returned to him. "Kuro, if you would be so kind?" Kuro, alarmed at being put on the spot, froze up and her eyes widened like a deer in the headlights. "Um, wha- hu- wha?" Then, she realized that while she was caught like a deer in the headlights, an actual deer-man was at the table, too, making her took at Shikaku and snicker, earning herself a 'troublesome'.

Sara, at this point, decided to step in. "Introduce yourself, Ro." Kuro grinned. "I can do that!" she chirped. "Let's see…what's my…? Oh, yeah, okay, I'm Yin Kuro Tsukiakari, last surviving member of the Yin clan. Quite honestly, I'm not too optimistic about its future if _I'm_ in charge of it, 'cause I can't even remember my own name half the time. I like…stuff… Oh, yeah, um, I like… No, wait, I forgot again. Sorry, my brain doesn't really work too well this early in the morning."

"It's two in the afternoon," Chōza pointed out. Kuro nodded sagely. "Exactly," she said, "and I'm just about ready for a nap. Who's with me?" Sara and Hiruzen raised their hands, and everyone expectantly looked at Shikaku. "It's too troublesome to raise my hand," he explained.

"And yet it wasn't too troublesome to explain that it was too troublesome to do something that was too troublesome to do? Wait, what?" Kuro asked, confusing herself by the end of her question. Shikaku stared at her for a minute before wordlessly leaning back down and closing his eyes, not even bothering with a 'troublesome' this time.

Kuro grinned. "I win!"

"It's not like you had a very willing opponent," Sara pointed out.

"I take what I can get." Hiruzen cleared his throat, and all was quiet once more. "Well, now that Kuro has introduced herself, albeit in a rather…unorthodox way, please introduce yourselves." And so they did. Inuzuka Tsume, who was sitting to Kuro's right, went first. "I'm Inuzuka Tsume, head of the Inuzuka clan."

"I am Uchiha Fugaku, head of the Uchiha clan."

"I am Yamanaka Inoichi, head of the Yamanaka clan."

"I'm Akimichi Chōza, head of the Akimichi clan."

"Troublesome… Nara Shikaku, head of the Nara clan."

"I am Hyūga Hiashi, head of the Hyūga clan."

"Aburame Shibi, head of the Aburame clan."

"And I am Sarutobi Hiruzen, head of the Sarutobi clan," Hiruzen finished with a smile. "Now that we're all introduced, I wish to also add that Kuro is not yet a clan head, and therefore is not part of an official clan. However, I am considering letting her join the Chūnin Exams to be eligible for the position. As of yet, she is not a kunoichi of Konoha, but her skill level has been determined and I wish for her to be put on a probationary trial run to see how she fares.

"On another note, the children she brought with her and subsequently adopted have also joined the Ninja Academy, and two of them are also from clans and have kekkei genkai – Kaguya Kimimaro of the Kaguya clan, and another, Jūgo, has declined the offer to join the Academy, but also has a kekkei genkai. Once Kimimaro-kun becomes a chūnin, he will be eligible for the position of clan head, and once Jūgo turns eighteen years old, he will as well."

Once Hiruzen had finished speaking, Hiashi spoke. "I know we are all wondering the same thing," he said. "In order to start a clan in Konoha, one must either have a kekkei genkai or a unique style of fighting, such as clan jutsu – and if one does not have a kekkei genkai, he or she cannot start a clan without at least ten members. This evidence points to the fact that Yin-san has a kekkei genkai. What is it?"

Kuro blinked owlishly at him. "Yin-san?" she asked bewilderedly. "That's weird… Well, I've got…uh, what do I – okay, I have super-regenerative abilities, over-excessive chakra levels, and a second chakra source. I'm also pretty damn good with seals, if I do say so myself, and my clan style of fighting is based off of animals, like the Inuzuka clan, except we use the one that's best for us individually, not just the canine ones – sometimes that means we use more than one style. I myself am learning two so far, though I'm pretty crap at it. We've also got some clan ninjutsu, but that's about as much as I remember right now…" She trailed off.

Uchiha Fugaku seemed interested in this. "Regenerative abilities?" he asked, hoping to get more detail. Kuro looked at him oddly. "Yeah. That's what I said." He simply looked at her. Either she was too stupid to understand what he wanted, or she was just really good at hiding what she didn't want known. Considering her earlier actions, he was leaning towards the former.

It was at that moment that a large insect fluttered in and landed on Kuro's shoulder, making her sigh as it 'spoke' to her. Aburame Shibi seemed interested in this. "That is a male jungle nymph, is it not?" he asked. Kuro nodded. "Yeah. He's my daughter's, and she got in trouble…again." Turning her attention to the insect, she spoke. "Tell her to untie that poor woman immediately and that no, she is _not_ allowed to put her in the Crocodile Tube, nor the Iron Maiden, nor the Brank, nor any other torture devices of any kind, or I'm going to summon the Shinigami and have him sit on her." The bug flew off and Kuro sighed. "This is what I get for letting a five-year-old get her hands on a book on Torture and Interrogation," she muttered. "I should never have left that thing out…"

Noticing that everyone was staring at her, Kuro chuckled awkwardly. Shibi, ignoring the whole torture thing, spoke once more. "Your daughter… She is able to communicate with her jungle nymph?" Kuro grinned in pride. "Yeah," she said happily. "She's actually involved with a lot of insect-based jutsu and has a plethora of insects she keeps with her at all times. She's definitely able to protect herself."

Shibi nodded and went silent, and Hiruzen stood. "Kuro, perhaps you should go see what little Fū-chan is up to – we wouldn't want an incident like last week's, would we?" Ignoring the hidden danger in his voice, Kuro nodded. "Yes sir!" she said, bolting from the room.

Sara chuckled. Yep. Romi was entertaining, as usual.

* * *

Naruto was grinning – actually grinning, for one of the first times in his short life. Ever since he'd met Kuro 'nē-chan, he'd actually smiled instead of just wearing a self-confident smirk or a pout. But it was weird, he mused as he ate his sandwich (Kuro 'nē-chan had made it for him). Next to him, Fū was poutily eating her own sandwich after being reprimanded by Kuro 'nē-chan for trying to hurt someone who'd been outright mean to him instead of just glaring at him or outright ignoring him.

"Ne, ne, Fū-chan, you're goin' ta the Academy, right?" Fū nodded. "I'm graduatin' this year," she responded. "And I'm gonna be on a team with Kimi 'nī-chan and Haku 'nī-chan." She grinned, showing off some pieces of food stuck in her teeth. Then she frowned. "I gotta go, though. Lunch is over." She quickly packed up and ran off. "Ja ne, Naru-chan!" Naruto waved goodbye to his friend, his grin lasting until she was out of sight. Then it faded.

Cleaning up his lunch with his angry pout now in place, he decided to go find Kuro 'nē-chan. She was always there for him.

* * *

It was nearing the end of the day, and Naruto had to go back to the orphanage. Kuro had asked to adopt him, but the old man had said that she needed to be a Konoha citizen for quite a while longer before being able to adopt. She'd pouted, but it was okay. Once she went through the Chūnin Exams, she'd be able to finally give Naruto the family he'd always wanted.

But until then, he had to stay at that damned orphanage.

For the moment, Kuro was eating dinner with her family – it consisted of smoked venison from the area, and she'd used the pelt to make Naruto some clothing, since the other children already had animal-skin clothing. She never used human skin, however – for aesthetic reasons.

School was going well for Fū and Kimimaro – the two plus Haku had to stick together to protect themselves from twelve-year-old bullies (A.K.A: the previous top student), but they had a lot of fun and all three were on their way to becoming ninja.

The next morning, Fū and Kimimaro headed towards the Academy after meeting up with Haku – things had been going very, very well for him. His calm, sweet demeanor made him very popular with some, and although he still had people who _didn't_ like him, he was well-off, having a family that actually had a house, of all things. They'd have to talk about having a sleepover sometime.

School was quite boring for Fū, who didn't like sitting still for long periods of time, but they'd made a solution for that – she'd use a lot of her chakra training every morning, which, by the time she got to school, lowered her levels enough for her to actually be calmer.

Kimimaro, being the unofficial, yet recognized, leader of their little group, kept his eyes peeled for any sort of danger that might befall them. Luckily, there was none and by the time the bell rang, they were all safely in their seats in Iruka-sensei's class.

The day began with homeroom, everyone getting ready and stuff, before the first class of the day started – in truth, they were divided up into classes that taught them techniques which enhanced their inherent qualities. Kimimaro went to Tactical Battle Strategies class and Fū went to the Advanced Taijutsu Techniques class, while Haku went to the Anatomy and Physiology class. Kimimaro's first period went well – some of the students attempted to throw things at him, but soon they got bored with his incessant dodging. Haku was pretty well-loved in this class, as most of the girls absolutely adored him – those who didn't kept quiet, lest they incur the Wrath of the Rabid Fangirls. Fū quite possibly had it the hardest. At five years old, she was the youngest since Uchiha Itachi to even think of graduating that early – and this scared the weaker-willed ones, while infuriating the others.

And Fū was almost invariably paired with the infuriated ones.

Of course, she had to pull her punches – no one was allowed to be sent to the hospital anymore – but she still hit a hell of a lot harder than anyone else in the class, even though she was pretty slow on the uptake when learning new techniques. She was, however, advanced enough to be the first in her class, despite her form being sub-par. Her teacher made a note that she'd probably thrive under the tutelage of Maito Gai, of all people – he was a taijutsu _freak_.

The teacher sent her to work on her own a lot to perfect the techniques, but it was clear that while she possessed unnatural strength, she had to work hard to attain the forms that worked so unnaturally with her own body movements.

Kimimaro's second period, Advanced Ninjutsu Techniques, coincided with Haku and Fū's class – they were together. They sat together, Kimimaro on Fū's right side, closer to the aisle, Haku on her right, closer to the wall. Their teacher was Iruka for this class, and while he cared for all his students, it was clear that he had a special place in his heart for the trio that had bonded closely. He led the class outside and asked them to review the technique they'd been working on – Doton: Double Suicide Decapitation Technique. It was a D-Rank ninjutsu that had the user burrow through the ground before grabbing the opponent's ankles and dragging them under, leaving only the head exposed.

Fū was able to use the technique well, though she had a little trouble finding the dummy's ankles. Haku had the most trouble with it, finding it immensely difficult to converge with the earth at all. He hated it – finding it cold, cruel, and unforgiving. Then again, people said the same things about ice. Even though he was barely able to perform the technique, he still did it.

Kimimaro's attempt was the most spectacular, his affinity being earth in the first place. He'd actually stood there, completely calm, when it was his turn, simply facing the dummy and not moving at all. This made Iruka curious. "Kimimaro, what's wrong? Are you having trouble with the technique?" The white-haired boy turned to him with a blank look on his face before melting into –

'A mud clone?' It was then that Iruka felt cold hands on his ankles, gripping him like a vice before pulling him down. Kimimaro stepped out of the ground in front of him, allowing a rare smile to blossom on his face. "No, sensei. I'm having no trouble at all."

Iruka pretended to grumble a bit as he easily stepped out of the ground himself, but he had to laugh along with the rest of the class. "An ingenious double use of the Mud Clone Technique and the Double Suicide Decapitation Technique," Iruka declared, pride fully evident in his voice. "Full marks, plus extra credit for the extra technique. Where did you learn it, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Jutsu scrolls," Kimimaro explained passively. "Sara onē-san has an inter-dimensionally-traversing bag full of them. My chakra reserves aren't quite where they should be yet, so I'm a bit tired out by the dual-jutsu; but I should be fine soon." Iruka nodded. The Mud Clone jutsu in particular was very taxing – not as much as the Kage Bunshin no jutsu, but with the way he was using it, it was no surprise he got tired. "I only have one last question. When did you switch with your clone?"

Kimimaro let another smile, this time more of a smirk, pass through, closing his eyes as he leaned back to rest. "Who said I ever switched?"

The rest of the day went by pretty well – after their Stealth and Deception Tactics class together, there was a break for lunch when they escaped the Academy to go hang out with Naruto and Jūgo before they had to go back. Apparently Jūgo had been teaching Naruto the finer points of gardening, and surprisingly, the boy was into it. He also liked birds – the two bonded quickly.

The classes after lunch were mostly physically-oriented for Kimimaro, Fū, and Haku. Kimimaro and Haku had private training for their kekkei genkai (much like any other kekkei genkai user did), but when Fū waited for her teacher to show up, he actually had someone else in tow – a man wearing a strange tan cloak with a collar that hid the lower half of his face. He had round, dark sunglasses with a small ornament hanging off the left side, short, spiky black hair that flared back, sideburns, and one hell of an awesome 'stache.

Fū stared at the strange man. There was something…different about him.

Her teacher had to pry her attention from the man and explained that he wanted to train her to see what she could do for the day. This made Fū frown. "Okay, he's a teacher now? He doesn't look like much. I wanna see this guy's credentials before I do anything. Besides, why'd he be interested in _me_? Are you sure he's not from some other place, trying to capture me 'cause I'm so awesome? Did my mommy agree to this? Did you notify her? What if he's a pedophile that just wants me alone? Do you have written permission from 'Kā-chan? Where was she when this decision was made?"

Shibi was mildly amused at this little girl. She was overly cautious, and although a bit talkative (which wasn't unusual – his son Shino was also quite talkative, and he was about her age), she was logical. Although, he did wonder what had caused a child her age to be so overly cautious.

Her sensei attempted to convince her that it was okay, to which Fū responded with cries of "So you expect me to take your _word_ that 'Kā-chan approved this? Is it written down? Does it have a signature? I know my mommy's signature" until he spoke up, finally deeming it necessary to do so.

"It is all right," he said to the teacher before turning to Fū. "My name is Aburame Shibi, and I am of the Aburame clan." He was pleased to see a flicker of recognition in her orange eyes – an exotic color, he thought – before he continued. "Your mother did, in fact, give me permission to train you. If you are still wary of my identity, please allow me to prove myself to you."

And with that he sent out a small insect that flew lazily over to the five-year-old and landed on her shoulder. Her eyes widened. "That's a…"

"A female kikaichū, yes," he finished in mild amusement. "Are you satisfied?" Fū looked at the man a bit warily, but nodded before following him outside.

Shibi turned to the girl as soon as they were in one of the more secluded training grounds. "What kind of insects do you possess?" he asked, immediately getting down to business. Fū, eager to show off, quickly listed them off. "I've got a male jungle nymph and I'm lookin' for a female, mites, ticks, mosquitoes, fleas, red ants, flies… It's actually really a big mix of a lot of 'em, but I've mainly got different types of beetles, and I'm cultivating a colony of Nano-Sized Venomous Insects."

Shibi immediately became alert at this. "Nanosaizu no Dokumushi?" he repeated. Fū nodded happily. "You wanna see 'em?" she asked. "I've got 'em with me right now." He thought for a minute before nodding. Fū grinned before closing her eyes. A small part of her left cheek began to bubble slightly before bursting, allowing about a centimeter squared of the insects, tiny and highly compacted enough to form a sickly purple blob in on the surface of her cheek.

"It's really a pity they can't fly," she said, ignoring the suppressed look of surprise on Shibi's face. "They'd be more useful for assassination missions that way. I kinda wanna experiment with them genetically; maybe transpose a genetic sequence giving them wings." She grinned. "Wouldn't that be so cool?"

The Aburame nodded slowly. The girl was powerful indeed, as well as highly intelligent. Had he not known any better, he'd have thought someone was possibly feeding her lines. Still, a child of five being able to use and _understand_…well, _Aburame_-sized words was exceedingly impressive, as well as was her ability to use the highly toxic insects. He had to wonder where exactly she got them…but that was a question for another time.

He nodded. "Thank you for your time," he said with a slight bow. Fū looked shocked. "What?" she cried out. "Don't you wanna see my super-awesome moves? They're so cool! Didn't you wanna? Isn't that why you came?"

Shibi looked back at her and cocked a brow. "I will be back tomorrow," he said in his grave, deep voice. "It wouldn't do to show all your techniques at once. One surprise a day is more than enough." Fū looked suitably chastised at this, and he couldn't help but be amused. This child got more and more entertaining every minute. "It was very nice meeting you, Fū," he said truthfully. "Tomorrow I'd like to bring someone else to meet you. Is this acceptable?"

Fū looked at him oddly for a moment before smiling. "That would be acceptable," she said with a smile she failed to suppress. "I look forward to it."

Shibi let a small smile show, his insects humming warmly inside him. "As do I, Fū-san. As do I."

* * *

The next day, Fū met the person of whom Shibi had spoken. He wore sunglasses, like Shibi, and wore a coat like Shibi's, only his had cool buttons and he also wore an overcoat with a hood. Fū grinned, always happy to make new friends. "This your kid, sensei?" she asked cheerfully before skipping up to him and bowing slightly. "I'm Yin Fū of the Yin clan. What's your name?"

The boy looked at her for a moment before answering with a bow of his own. "I am Aburame Shino of the Aburame clan. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance." Fū grinned. "You, too," she chirped. She then seemed to remember something and looked up at Shibi. "Ne, ne, sensei, what're we gonna do today, huh? Is it something super-cool?" Shibi was, as always, mildly amused at the little girl's antics. "I would like you to show me a few of your moves, if it is at all possible," he said.

Fū nodded with a grin and struck what she thought was a 'cool' pose – basically, she stood with her feet spaced apart as if in a taijutsu stance, but her upper body faced forward and her arms were held parallel to the ground. After a little bit of concentration, a storm of insects of all shapes and sizes ratcheted out of her sleeves and began to swirl in jerky, yet still somewhat controlled movements before again shooting off – this time over to a tree.

It was a magnificent, tall sycamore. The leaves had been a pure, deep green – a mesmerizing shade, really, especially when the sunlight gleamed through the thick branches to the ground.

Notice the author's creative usage of past tense.

Fū's insects demolished the tree. Her crop-eating insects – powered with her bijū's demonic chakra – had devoured it, roots and all.

And as they returned to their host, Shibi strode over to the edge of the hole where that magnificent giant once stood, its gaping maw threatening to eat him, insects and all. Stepping back, he looked at Fū, who grinned and blushed with a shrug. She'd never really been able to show off to anyone before, so she was a bit nervous as to what he had to say – he wasn't her mommy, that was for sure.

Shibi looked down at the hole again and then back at her. There was a pause before he spoke. "Your insects devoured that tree," he stated.

"Yep!"

"Their mass didn't change."

"Yep!"

"They were not sluggish at all after their meal."

"Yep!"

"You were able to accept them back into your body with no negative side-effects."

"Yep!" Shibi continued to stare at her, and even Shino, as talkative as he was, remained silent. Then he spoke. "Interesting," he said. "Can you do more?" Fū grinned, looking up at the adult with gleaming eyes. "I thought you'd never ask."

Shibi walked home that day with his son in tow. This little girl…this five-year-old child had a powerful insect-wielding ability, one even greater than the one they themselves had. Their bodies were simply not meant to handle what that child's did.

He, as the patriarch of his clan, was feeling…threatened.

Had anyone caught wind of this, he would most certainly not have been believed. He, Aburame Shibi, emotionless, calm, collected Aburame Shibi, was feeling threatened by an adorable five-year-old girl.

Of course, had they seen her power that day, they most certainly would have understood his fear. Would the Aburame clan become useless in light of this new power? Would the Yin clan overrun his? No… This child had been adopted; Hokage-sama had confirmed it. If that was the case, then what was her hailing clan? Did she even come from a clan at all, or was this a freak mutation?

Whatever the reason, this child had enormous potential. For the sake of his clan's future, he had to get the Yin clan, and by extension Fū, on his good side. He hated politics, he hated the feuds between the clans, but now, for the first moment in his adult life, he understood its necessity. Now, when the cold abyss loomed before him, like the hole where that magnificent sycamore tree once stood, he understood what primal fear, the fear of not losing your life, but instead your entire legacy, truly was.

"Shino," he spoke, and cursed inwardly as he heard his voice shake a bit. He clenched his sweating palms in his pockets. "Yes, Father?" Shino hadn't caught on to his father's worry. That was good.

Shibi stood on the edge of that wide, vast abyss…

"What do you think of Yin Fū?"

…And he took a leap of faith.

* * *

Kimimaro, on the other hand, was working extremely hard on his own bloodline limit. For his teachers, he had a chūnin named Gekkō Hayate to teach him the finer points of using swords – only Kimimaro's swords were made of his bones, which sickened him slightly, but hey, it was a damn useful ability, so who was he to judge.

Kimimaro calmly pulled a fig out of his bag and began to eat it, making his teacher sigh. The only reason he'd take a break from his training was when he needed calcium – and damn he needed a lot of it. Sometimes he wondered if he wasn't just doing it to get free breaks out of them, and judging by his smirk, he was. Finishing his fruit and idly licking the juice off his fingers, he stood and expelled a single, long rib from his chest, sharpening it from tip to where he crafted a handle from the bone, creating a makeshift rib-katana. Well, it wasn't exactly sharp, he mused as he ducked Hayate-sensei's bokken, or training katana. He wouldn't be able to use anything but a blunt rib-bokken on fellow Konoha villagers. He had to prove to them that the Kaguya clan was not the band of bloodthirsty barbarians everyone thought it was.

At least, he would show them that it wasn't any more.

As he ducked a horizontal sweep of Hayate-sensei's bokken (the man had been instructed to fight at _just_ above his level so he'd continue to improve, but not die) and retaliated with his own sweep to the legs with his rib-bokken, which had been jumped over, he smirked to himself.

Okā-san was always telling him to find his own dream, his own purpose in life – and he guessed he'd found one.

He'd wipe the shame and dishonor from the Kaguya clan's bright crest, and replace it with a glorious shine. He would use his kekkei genkai to protect, never to kill without cause ever again, and he'd rewrite his clan's future.

He would become strong.

He would fight for those not strong enough to help themselves.

He would protect.

And he would fight to regain his lost honor.

* * *

Haku, on the other other hand, was having a very different time of it. He had a water-natured Academy sensei take him on, and he was glad of it. She'd taught him the finer points of medical ninjutsu while also helping him in his quest to learn more about his kekkei genkai and use the ice – in fact, it had been her idea to freeze, say, a limb in ice until the victim got to a safer place to remove it. In fact, Haku thought with a smile, perhaps he could even freeze people in solid blocks of ice until they could get medical attention. The entire notion sounded ridiculous, but he was going to try.

* * *

Kuro grinned. The kids were asleep with a Kage Bunshin watching over them, Naruto was safe at the orphanage, and Haku was home with his parents. She and Sara were gonna hit the motherfuckin' town.

They entered a seedier part of town – Kuro wore her normal clothes, which consisted of a loose t-shirt with her clan symbol on the front (the Yin half of the YinYang symbol) and a pair of loose nin-pants.

Sara, on the other hand, wore a loose, horizontally-striped t-shirt that hung off one shoulder with her frizzy afro in two buns on top of her head. She also wore green leggings and heeled ninja sandals, while her companion went barefoot. "Damn, it's been forever since I've been here!" Sara squealed happily. "Ro, since you're now officially a ninja, you must do a 'right of passage' of sorts."

Kuro cocked a brow at her friend. "I'm on probation," she pointed out blandly, "so I'm not an official ninja. And I don't want to get in trouble while I'm on probation." Sara waved her worries off. "Nah, it's fine, Ro. Hiruzen loves me too much, and this doesn't break any laws, although we're probably breaking, like, a crap-load of moral codes or some shit for this."

"You know full well I don't have morals, Sara," Kuro said in amusement. "Thing is, you still haven't told me what we're doing." Sara grinned and grabbed her friend's hand, dragging her over to what looked like a small, rinky dinky building with a small, dimly illuminated sign on it that had the kanji for 'ninja' on it. They opened the door, and the bar oh-so-slowly went silent as they looked at the two girls. It wasn't that they were there that was odd, it was the fact that one of them was maybe fourteen years old.

The 'bouncer' frowned and walked up to them. "Listen, lady," he said, talking to Sara. "You can stay, but the kid's got to go." Kuro, pissed off that she was being referred to as a 'kid', lifted her leg up and stomped on the guy's toes – hard. With a yelp, the guy wrenched himself away from her. "Don't call me a kid, you asshole," she growled out. "If I was able to get that reaction from stomping on your toes _shoeless_, then what'd your reaction be if I shoved a kunai through your balls, you pussy?"

The bouncer paled. "Just get in here," he growled, shoving her further into the bar. Kuro looked at him in confusion, so Sara decided to elaborate. "This is the rite of passage I was talking about, Ro," she said with a grin. "It's a well-known rule 'round these parts that as soon as you loose your cool with this guy, you're allowed to drink."

Kuro twitched slightly. "Ew," she said. "Is that why you brought me here? I don't _want_ to drink." Sara grinned. "Too bad," she said, "because as soon as you finish your rite of passage, you're supposed to get one congratulatory drink, on the house." She laughed at the disgusted expression on Kuro's face before dragging her over to the bar, where a single cup of sake awaited her.

Kuro smelled the fermented rice drink, and the soft smell pervaded her nostrils, making her furrow her brows. It was chilled. With a shrug, she held the cup to her mouth and tipped it back, downing it – which made her jump, twitch, and choke, all in one. For one who'd never had alcohol of any sort before, suddenly having a strong, unfiltered, alcoholic drink was enough to weird her out.

Getting over it rather quickly, she was surprised to find that she'd been applauded. Sara, laughed, clapping her on the back. "Nice job, Ro," she crowed. "For your first time drinking, you sure know how to get it done!" Kuro grinned in slight embarrassment as she rubbed the back of her neck. "Eh, thanks?" The bar went back to its usual chatter and Sara ordered a bottle of Junmai-shu sake, the same that Kuro had just had. The bartender came back with the bottle and another cup for Sara. She poured herself and Kuro a drink, and downed hers.

Kuro took a sip of her sake, this time reflecting on the taste. It was earthy and full-bodied, she found, and was also acidic, kind of like soda in the way that it burned her throat. She was surprised that she actually liked it. She hadn't thought she'd ever like alcohol, but she was proving herself wrong. With a smile, she continued to drink her sake as she and Sara began to talk about nothing in particular. Of course, she had to watch herself. She knew that she didn't have that great of a body mass, and was probably more of a lightweight.

Therefore, she was surprised to find, as she and Sara finished off the bottle, that she wasn't more than a little woozy – and this was her normal wooziness in that her vision clouded over at times and she had to blink it away, which happened a lot anyway.

She shrugged and Sara paid for the sake before they left the tavern and went home. There was nothing else in the akasen, or legal red-light district, that interested them.

* * *

Kakashi was amused, to say the least. He'd been in the bar when Kuro had gone through her 'rite of passage' and was honestly surprised to see that she didn't get drunk – just a bit tipsy. He'd also been in the room as a guard (he was on a break from the harder missions) when she'd been introduced to the clan heads. He also watched as she trained in the Forest of Death where she'd made her home, and was intrigued to find that she was at chūnin level, and had the most interesting techniques he'd seen in a while. He was also amazed when he saw how many shadow clones she could make easily, while training.

Kakashi was simply interested in this girl, to say the least. She also…reminded him of Minato-sensei's late wife, Kushina. She looked and acted a lot like her. But she wasn't Kushina; that was obvious. Even so, she trained hard, had gone through the 'rite of passage' at the Bar, and was going to compete in the Chūnin Exams in a few months.

He watched as she began to train, working on her ninjutsu – she knew a heck of a lot of fūton jutsu, and by the end of her training session, the landscape was carved up and gouged out. She was strong, that was for sure, but she still had a hell of a long way to go before she was even on his radar. Anyone who was a chūnin or lower didn't make him work at all. But she had the potential, definitely. He wondered how well she'd work in a real fight…

He shook the thoughts from his head as Kuro's friend hopped next to him. "Hey," she greeted with a grin. "You know, what you're doing could be considered stalking, you know." Kakashi shrugged. He didn't care. Taking this as a sign of dismissal, the girl – Sara, he remembered – hopped back down and disappeared into the tree where she and the rest of the hodgepodge group lived.

Kuro was an enigma. And he was going to solve this conundrum.

* * *

**A/N: Muahaha gonna get started on the next chapter, bitcheeeeeeesss!**


	10. Cracktastic! Part Two

_**Cracktastic!**_

Made of Fail

* * *

_**Parte DEUX!**_

_**KR**_

"Hey! This is Kyûketsuki Kuro Tsukiakari, _Cracktastic!_ hostess and friend to Tanuki Tarantu!" Kuro grinned. Unlike last time, she was on a stage painted completely baby blue with a big red neon sign that hung on the wall saying 'Cracktastic!' There was an armchair and a loveseat on the stage facing each other on an angle so they also faced the audience.

"As you can see, we got enough reviews in our last chapters to increase our budget to upgrade to this stage, with a live studio audience," she said. "That's you guys; give yourself a round of applause!" The audience cheered loudly, and Kuro laughed. "We also were able to upgrade to make this an actual show, so it'll be longer than last time, with bigger laughs!

"Okay, we have our special guest here today to answer our lovely reviewers; everyone, please welcome my best friend, Tanuki Tarantu!" The audience cheered as Tarantu ran onstage and plopped on the loveseat. Kuro seated herself in the armchair so that she was leaning on one armrest and had her legs slung over the other.

"So, Tarantu, before we begin, tell us about yourself." Tarantu smiled and played with a strand of her dark brown coloured hair. "Well, I'm Tanuki Tarantu, I'm fifteen, and I love DC Comics!"

"What does your name mean?"

"A Tanuki is a shape-shifting creature from Japanese folklore, and Tarantu translates roughly into 'orchid in a distant rice field'."

"So basically, your surname means that you're a beautiful flower in a proverbial rice field of common people? Like, the rice is the common people and you're the orchid and you need to travel far and look through lots of people to get to you, but it's worth it?" There was a long silence as Tarantu stared at Kuro.

"I guess?"

Kuro grinned and hugged a fuzzy stuffed bear to her chest as she went over the reviews. "Look at this, 'Ran! We got _ more reviews, all of which you need to answer!"

Tarantu sweatdropped. "First one is from Aya-chan, who commented on the fifth chapter. Here goes:"

**It's a pity you only got three reviews after four chapters. This story deserves so much more. It's extremely interesting.**

**Don't be discouraged about the lack of reviews. Instead, believe that this sentence is true: This story is currently really awesome!**

**If you think that what I've written above is weird, I apologize. That is simply proof of the fact that my brain works differently when I lack sleep.**

**I think that the grammar police will have no need for a revision of this review. I usually check if what I write is presentable. **

**I hope you are happy with this long review. You deserve it.**

Kuro grinned. "Well, your grammar and spelling is impeccable, I have to say that. You get an A+. There's no need for a Grammar Police invasion. 'Ran is here to answer your review; 'Ran, what do you say?"

Tarantu smiled. "Well, Aya-chan, I wanna thank you. We appreciate your understanding of our addiction to reviews, and don't worry; we're not discouraged. We're gonna make use of our talent and we're gonna freaking fuck up Konoha!" She jumped to her feet and stood on the couch. "I am very happy with the long review, and I can promise we will continue to work our hardest!"

She then calmly sat down once more and looked over at Kuro, who was laughing. The audience simply sweatdropped. _What the fuck was this girl on?_

Composing herself, Kuro turned to Tarantu. "'Ran, you ready for the next review? Because here it comes; it's from XXXninjayoaifreakxxx:"

**OMG! This is the first time I an A in grammar! The cookie was quite yummy! ^^**

Kuro grinned. "You deserved the A you got before, and you deserve the A you get now. 'Ran, what do you want to say to Yoaifreak-san?"

Tarantu thought a moment before grinning. "Wait, the failcookie? Those were baked with Crack. You see, there's so much Crack in the air wherever we go that it infects other things. I'm surprised you haven't overdosed." She laughed. "Well, I'm glad you liked it anyway. We appreciate the review, of course, and blah, blah, blah, you know the drill."

The audience cheered at this, and once they quieted down, Kuro spoke again.

"The next review is from Neoko-chan."

**Thank you for the cookie!**

**oh! Please don't beat up Kakashi too much... or he will not be able to babysit Neoko in my story. Well, he will still be able to babysit just not that good. By the way Kakashi is it true you are going out with Gai? Lots of people say you are...**

The audience was silent, and after a moment a loud booming voice echoed through the room. "Yosh! My Rival! The Burning Flames of Youth Burn Brightly in you! Let us go to My House for a Night of Youthful Romping!"

"OH, HELL NO!" Kakashi ran out of the room, Gai chasing after him with hearts in his eyes, blowing kisses. Kuro stood up angrily. "Thanks for letting me finish! It goes on to say:"

**JUST KIDDING!**

**Any who... keep up the great work. and thank you Romi-chan for doing the chapters of Arisa for me!**

**Ja Ne,**

**Neoko-chan**

The audience laughed in relief as Kuro turned to Naruto and who was standing by in a suit and sunglasses with a radio transmitter in his left ear. "Naru, make sure Gai doesn't kill Kakashi, would you?" He looked over at her and nodded, walking out silently. The audience then sweatdropped. Okay, seeing a six-year-old being a bodyguard was kind of…

Kuro grinned and thanked him before turning back to the review. "Well, Neoko-chan, the Grammar police need to invade on this."

**Grammar Police**

**Grammar Corrections Officer**

"Your review has many grammatical errors, Neoko-chan. For instance, right here:"

**oh! Please don't**

"The 'oh!' should be capitalized, so it would then read:"

**Oh! Please don't**

"Next is:"

**much... or he will not be able**

"There should not be a space between the '…' and the 'or', since it is a complete thought and therefore a sentence. When there's a '…' and the part after is a part of the sentence, then there should not be a space in between them. If they are two sentences, then they are simply fragmentations and don't count as sentences anyway, and you should've at least capitalized the 'or'."

**much...or he will not be able**

Tsukiakari smiled at her work. "See there? It runs much more smoothly now. The next error you made is another common error, but illegal nonetheless:"

**will still be able to babysit just not that good.**

"You see, there are two more commonly-made errors here; there should be a comma (or semicolon, your choice) added after the word 'babysit', and 'good' should be exchanged with 'well'. See:"

**will still be able to babysit, just not that well.**

**will still be able to babysit; just not that well.**

"See? Next, however, is a sentence that you can transform in many ways:"

**By the way Kakashi is it true you**

"You can change it into:"

**By the way: Kakashi, is it true you**

**By the way, Kakashi, is it true you**

**By the way, Kakashi: is it true you**

"And they'd still all be correct!" Tsuki sighed dramatically. "Isn't grammar so much fun?" Turning to the next sentence, she nodded. "You made the same mistake here with the '…', as well:"

**who... keep up the great work. and thank you**

"And there's also the trouble with the sentence changing. It can go two ways, though, so take your pick:"

**who...keep up the great work. And thank you**

**who...keep up the great work; and thank you**

"The next illegal maneuver you tried to slip past was this one:"

**thank you Romi-chan for doing**

"You almost made it, my friend. This slips past the best of us, but there should be a comma there, like:"

**thank you, Romi-chan, for doing**

"Or:"

**thank you Romi-chan, for doing**

"The rest of the grammar is good, but you did make a spelling error: 'babysit'. I was shocked to find out it wasn't a word, but apparently it's hyphenated, so it reads 'baby-sit'. The English language is freaky; but here's the fixed review:"

**Thank you for the cookie!**

**Oh! Please don't beat up Kakashi too much...or he will not be able to baby-sit Neoko in my story. Well, he will still be able to baby-sit; just not that well. By the way, Kakashi: is it true you are going out with Gai? Lots of people say you are...**

**JUST KIDDING!**

**Anywho...keep up the great work, and thank you, Romi-chan, for doing the chapters of Arisa for me!**

**Ja Ne,**

**Neoko-chan**

Kuro took a long drink of water as the audience hesitantly clapped. "Your original gets a D+, but hey, we all make mistakes. 'Ran, do you have anything to say to this review?"

"Yeah; as I said before, Crack-cookie, and we won't beat him up too much. And we'll keep up the good work, no worries." Kuro nodded seriously. Suddenly, the doors opened and Naruto was seen dragging in Gai, who was hog-tied with an apple stuck in his mouth. Kuro grinned. "Thanks, Naru! Just leave him there; I'll get him after the show. Is Kakashi okay?"

Naruto simply nodded, and the girls in the audience swooned. _Oh, the strong and silent type…he's so hot!_

"Good. Now, we have eleven more reviews to get through, so here we go." Kuro went through the reviews and looked at the next one. "Well, the next one is from yukina13:"

**so funny :D**

Kuro blinked. "Well, there's really no punctuation unless you count the smiley face, and I don't count things like that. All you really need to do is change it to a full sentence and capitalize it:"

**It's so funny! :D**

"Your original gets a B-." Tarantu nodded and spoke. "Thanks for the review!" she said happily. "We strive to be funny, but not crack-ish. Well, we're crack-ish during _Cracktastic!_, but that's about it." Kuro smiled at her friend. She was glad that Tarantu had decided to do this. The olive-skinned girl really was sweet and spastic.

Shaking the thought from her head, she turned to the next reviewer. "Next up is mayumi mizuki." She paused, her brow furrowing. "Mayumi mizuki… Mayumi mizuki… Mayumi… Tarantu, has she reviewed before? She sounds familiar…"

"No, she didn't review before, but she did add you on Story Alert or Author Alert or something, and you checked out her profile." There was a pause. "Have you been stalking me?" Tarantu looked around nervously. "Umm…no?"

"Okay!" Kuro chirped happily before turning back to the review.

**i love it hilarious:)!**

Kuro then twitched. "The Grammar Police better be paid overtime for this," she muttered darkly. She then stood up on the chair. "I cannot stress this enough! Capitalize! Capitalize your sentences! Punctuation! Use it! Please! Run-ons! Don't use them! Holy Moses!" she exclaimed before collapsing.

"The review needs to be capitalized. That, and use a semicolon or something. And put the smiley face after the exclamation point. It'll look more like this:"

**I love it; hilarious! :)**

"Your original gets a C. Oh, and look, you reviewed twice in a row."

**rofl! im lteraly rolling on the floor laghing at craktastic! the rest is wonderfull! it has me either bueried in the plotline, or loling! awsome!**

Kuro twitched once more. "Your spelling sucks balls. I give up on you." She tossed the review to Tarantu, who didn't hesitate to catch it and respond. "Well, thanks for your support! We'll take it to heart!" she said enthusiastically. She then looked to Kuro, who was sitting in the Emo Corner, before sweatdropping. "Well, I guess I'll have to play Grammar Police for now," she said to no one in particular.

"Because I'm lazy, I'm just going to copy and paste it onto Word so that Spell Check can do the rest." She randomly took a computer out of her back pocket and began to speak to herself.

"Copy…paste…Spell Check…add to dictionary…done! Here's the finished review:"

**ROFL****! I'm literally rolling on the floor laughing at Cracktastic! The rest is wonderful! It has me either buried in the plotline, or loling! Awesome!**

Tarantu grinned proudly at herself. She was a big girl now! She did it all by herself. BEAT THAT, MOTHERFUCKERS! She giggled to herself before throwing a kunai at Kuro's head.

Kuro obviously dodged it before laughing nervously at the audience and sitting back in her seat. "Next review is from someone called !" she said, hoping to take some attention off her Emo Moment.

**Person, keep writing please. I 3 the story so far. It's is going on Story Alert.**

Kuro beamed. "Thank you!" she said. All you really need is to add a comma after 'keep writing' and it'll be great. You get an A. Tarantu?"

"Thank you for your review! Good reviews with good grammar keep Kuro out of the Emo Corner!" Kuro growled at her friend before smiling. "I'm trying to get through these reviews quickly, so the next one is coming up right now. It's from CuttlefishShiz:"

**i love it^^ i cant wait til next ch keep up the great work**

Kuro twitched once more before calming herself. "You know, I've got to stop being such a bitch about grammar. I should be happy I'm getting reviews at all, right?" She smiled. "Well, school is here for a reason, huh? I'll still give you grades, but bitching about your grammar and spelling isn't really what I'm here for. You get a B-. Tarantu?"

"Thanks for reviewing! I think Romi-chan is going to start setting up a set date for the chappies to go up. I'm kind of liking Saturday as the update date. As soon as the date goes up, we'll tell you."

Kuro grinned widely and moved on to the next review. "This one is from dreamingofmagic:"

**I am here to review! *clears throat* I love your story and honestly I cant find anything wrong with it, I just hope that the romance will be starting soon. So please update soon!**

An even wider grin spread across Kuro's features. "You get an A+ on your review!" she said happily. "There's just a single punctuation problem, but that's minor. Tarantu?"

"Yes! Um…the romance won't be starting _that_ soon… I mean, Kuro is only fifteen, and I'm only seventeen…so… I mean, the age of consent in Japan is only thirteen, but we're waiting a while. But, well, Iruka is twenty, so a three-year difference isn't too big. I think Romi-chan has something figured out. And we'll update soon! No worries!"

Kuro looked slightly curious as to Tarantu's line of thinking but shrugged it off. She'd deal with it later.

"The next review is from Element5cw:"

**It's good :) Keep going!**

"You get an A+! You too, have a minor punctuation problem, but that was easily solved by putting a smiley face in between the two sentences. Tarantu – what are your words of wisdom?"

"We'll keep going! Thanks for the review!"

"Next review is from kaaayyytteee:"

**you're a mad good writer!**

**onto the next chapter i go! :D**

"You get a B+," Kuro said happily. "All you really need to put in is some capitalization, and I'll accept the rest." Inside, Kuro quivered with joy. All these reviews were making her simply burst with happiness!

Tarantu thought for a moment before shrugging. "Thanks for the review!" she said merrily. "We like making people happy!" She then turned to Kuro, her brown eyes shining happily. "Ne, ne, Kuro, are there any more reviews?"

"Yep; kaaayyytteee reviewed again:"

**awwh!**

**so sweet!**

**(: great chapter!**

Tarantu grinned. "Thanks for your review!" she said happily. "I liked the chapter, too!"

"Yep; there are three more. This next one's from Silver-Serval:"

**Well, major mistake: Chaptyer 3 is actually chapter 2. :/ Fix it. too much information is missing, and it ticks me off. *Rawr-face.***

**Second, I don't exactly like self-inssert fics... But this is interesting so I'm willing to suspend my usual dislike and continue reading. :]**

**Good job. I'm eagerly awaiting more (which, all things considered, is a rarity; be extremely proud).**

**- ****Silver**

Kuro nodded happily. "Thank you so much for your review – Romi had re-uploaded the chapters, and I guess she messed up. So, she went back and redid it. Personally, I really thank your for your review. When there's a story I really like, I tend to point out everything that can trip up the reader or writer – not because I hate a story, but because I don't want to see it fail. Therefore, Romi and I are really, really happy. You get an A+, too – your mistakes are obviously typos, and I don't care about those, especially when I've been given such a great review! But this isn't self-insert."

Tarantu grinned and nodded. "I agree. Thanks so much for your review, Silver-san!" After a pause, Kuro went back to sorting through her reviews. "Next up is MinaLovesMusic with her very contemplative review:"

**You know, you're changing the entirety of the storyline? Kuro and Tarantu are doing something very great for Naruto, but think of the repercussions ****of their actions in the future:**

**-By helping him with all of his classes, this brings his grades up. When he graduates from the academy, Iruka places him on a team with Sakura and Sasuke because he has the worst grades in the clas****s, whereas they have the best. **

**-By helping him with his jutsus, when it comes time for graduation, he will most likely pass the test with ease. This means that Mizuki won't be able to trick him into stealing the Forbidden Scroll, and he'll never learn the Kage Bunshin no jutsu that is his main jutsu throughout th****e entire series. **

**-Even if you manage to manipulate Kuro and Tarantu's impact on the story so that it still follows the general storyline, then it still shouldn't be possible/allowed for the two to go on Naruto's mission to the Land of the Waves with Tazuna. This is where Naruto is determined to surpass Sasuke because of the two Mist-nin that they encounter during their mission. If his training with Kuro and Tarantu continues, then he will more than likely have long-since surpassed Sasuke by the time the st****ory reaches that point.**

**It really is looking great so far, but you just have to think about Kuro and Tarantu's impact on the future, because they're changing so much.**

Kuro nodded. "Romi-chan has all this under control, so don't worry. Before writing the story, she went through most of the possible roadblocks and found ways around them. So, no worries! And you get an A+ as well. If you need any more convincing that we love your review, check my rambling after Silver-san's review."

"Yep!" Tarantu said happily. "We've all got it strapped down to an examination table, so no stresses! Thanks for your review! Oh, and she reviewed again!"

**So, I'm a huge facebook-whore. The reason I deem this little nugget of information as relevant is because of this:**

**On facebook, you can "like" or "become a fan" of certain statuses and other things, like: "Ignoring Drama Queens & Other Attention-Se****eking People" and "That's What She Said" (*The second one is my personal favorite!)**

**Now, every time I read one of your chapters... I instinctively head towards the bottom of the page, looking for a little blue button that either says "like" or "become a ****fan". XD**

**Very long, drawn out, and wordy, I know. But I just felt the need to completely explain so that I might be able to get my point across. XD**

Kuro sweatdropped. "I hate Facebook," she muttered. "No offence. Still, thanks for the review! You get an A+! It's very flattering!"

Tarantu nodded. "I hate Facebook, too," she agreed. "But heck! I know a lot of cool people who use it, so it's not all that bad."

"She reviewed again."

**M'kay, so...**

**I review because I care. I would tell you how much I love this story, but I think I have already expressed that notion to you... **

**So... review, please? (*Puppy dog eyes*)**

Kuro nodded. "I'll get Romi-chan to review to your stories, no worries. We'll review." Tarantu pouted. "No~! She discovered our greatest weakness! Puppy-dog eyes!"

"Shut up, 'Ran. I have another review from someone named godricismine12:"

**lol love it update again soon!**

Kuro sweatdropped. "I'm not even gonna ask about your username," she muttered. "'Ran?"

"Yes! Thank you! We will update! Thank you for reviewing!"

Kuro yawned and continued to look through her reviews. "Wow," she said, "we got a lot of reviews this time around, didn't we, 'Ran? Personally, I'm glad as fuck. We got another new reviewer named hypnotic flames; he/she/it has an awesome profile picture, too. It's very colorful and pops out."

**your story is really good...keep up the good work...i love the girls they are so funny!**

Tarantu got to the review first this time. "Thank you for loving us~!" she said happily. Kuro nodded. "We'll definitely keep up the good work, believe us. Romi-chan is really getting into it, too."

Kuro got to her last reviews and grinned. "Look, 'Ran! It's another review from CuttlefishShiz!"

**I love it^^**

Kuro smiled happily. "And _we_ love _you_, our darling little Cuttle…Cuddle…Cuddlefish! Oh, that's kind of cute! You're a Cuddlefish! And you get an A+!" Tarantu burst into laughter. "I hope you didn't scare Cuddlefish off."

"Me, too."

"And here's another from CuttlefishShiz!"

**i loved it cant wait til next ch^^**

Kuro paused. "You fail," she said simply. "But we still love you."

"I agree."

"You get a D. Sorry."

"Darn."

"Ooh, you reviewed again!"

**Aw I loved the ending and I love rabbits but my mom and dad won't let me have another even though there so cute**

Kuro grinned. "Yup! Romi-chan actually has a bunny, too: he's a horny, perverted, rabbit who's into bestiality."

"Eww…"

"Cuddlefish reviewed again."

**i loved it ^^**

"And we love you!"

"You're freaking me out here, 'Ran."

"Sorry…not."

"Now, we have another part of the program we were able to add, called Kunai Toss. I need a young, fearless man and some other random person." Many audience members' hands were quickly raised in excitement. "You…and you."

Anko and a random civilian walked up to the stage. Kuro looked up at them. "Great, thank you so much for volunteering; can you tell us your names?"

"Mitarashi Anko!"

"Taira Komito."

"Komito-san, please go backstage; we'll be ready for you in a moment. Naruto!" The young blond appeared next to her and escorted Komito off.

"Anko-san," Kuro said, turning back to the buxom woman, "do you like sharp objects?" Anko grinned and nodded vigorously. The brunette grinned. "Good, because in this exercise, you need to throw kunai at the target."

"What's the target?"

"Komito will be on a spinning wheel. You will be blindfolded. Anything on the wheel that's not him is acceptable." She then turned to the door. "Naruto, you can bring Komito-san in, now."

Naruto opened the door and rolled a large round target onto the stage – Komito was tied to it tightly and was also squirming violently, with sweat rolling down his body in waves.

Anko grinned and took a kunai out of nowhere to throw at Komito. Kuro tied Anko's Konoha hitai-ate around her eyes so that she couldn't see. Almost immediately, Naruto spun the wheel and Anko began to rapidly throw kunai at the man on the wheel. With every toss, Komito screamed in fear.

Thok

Thok thok

THUNK

"Anko-san, try not to destroy the stage please."

"Sorry!"

Thok

Thok thok

Thok thok thokthokthokthok

**Chink**

"A-Anko-san! Please put down the katana!"

Shlup

**Spurt**

"Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I am so sorry."

"MY ARM! MY ARM! OH, HOLY SHIT WHERE THE HELL IS MY ARM!"

The cameras all turned away or fell as the camera crew ran to help Komito. Kuro picked one up with a pained look on her face. "Okay, so…we'll see you next time on _Cracktastic!_ Sorry, we'll have to cut short due to…minor injuries."

"YOU CALL THIS MINOR?"

"Fuck you! Okay, goodbye everyone, and tune in next time!"


	11. Chunin Exams Part One

**Made of Fail**

* * *

_Chapter Eight  
Chunin Exams  
Part One_

It was a Friday, and Kuro and Sara were at the Bar. Sara had told Kuro that not much was known by many about the Bar – it didn't even have a name – but it was an unspoken rule that only ninja who'd gone through the 'rite of passage' were able to drink there. It had been a hard day, and Kuro's old memories were beginning to float to the surface – she didn't want to drown her sorrows in alcohol, especially since her family was genetically predisposed to have her become an alcoholic, but a drink and a talk was just what she needed.

"There was this one time," Kuro said, her eyes clouding over as she reminisced, "that my daddy told me he'd gone to Japan and he'd seen these cakes and pies in the windows. He looked at them and asked Koda-san, his friend, how the places were able to afford to put food in their windows. He'd replied, to Daddy's shock, that the food was made of plastic. This was back in the day that America didn't do this, remember.

"So my daddy came back home, after a few decades, married my mommy, you know the drill. Anyway, on one of their dates, the dessert tray came out. My daddy looked at the cakes in wonder and reached out to touch one, exclaiming, 'Oh, this looks so real!'" There was a pause as Kuro took another sip of her drink. "His hand went right through it. It wasn't made of plastic." Sara chuckled and shook her head. "Your family's so weird, Ro."

It was then that they heard an angry voice speak.

"Why the hell is there some brat in this bar?" a woman asked angrily. Kuro and Sara – heck, most of the bar patrons – turned to look at the woman. She wore a chain-mail one-piece with a skirt and a trench coat – Anko, Kuro realized immediately.

Anko walked up to Kuro. "Listen, kid, this place isn't for thirteen-year-olds. Go back to your mommy and let me drink in peace." At the casual mention of her mother, Kuro got angry. This, coupled with the alcohol in her system, made her lash out.

"Listen, you fucking bitch," she said viciously. "I'm not fucking thirteen. I'm seventeen. And I fucking like sake. I don't have any fucking parents to go fucking home to, and I'm having a hard fucking day. I fucking threatened to cut that fucking asshole's balls off," she pointed to the bouncer, "so I have as much fucking right to be here as you do. Sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and drink."

Anko stared at her for a minute, struggling to comprehend the cursing coming out of this little girl's – no, she was seventeen – mouth. Then she grinned. "I like you," she chirped, sitting down on the stool next to her. "What's your name?"

"Kuro. Yours?"

"Anko." It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

* * *

Anko fit right in with the rest of the family, and she especially liked Jūgo, constantly giving him hugs and dragging him places with her. "He's just too cute!" she'd often say, a wicked gleam in her eye.

On March twenty-fourth, Fū, Kimimaro, and Haku had graduated at the top of their classes, Kimimaro being Rookie of the Year, with Fū and Haku in third and second, respectively. The three were put on their own team, despite their grades, simply because of the age difference between themselves and their classmates. They were put under the tutelage of, of all people, Maito Gai. The test was simple, as the three worked together as a team, said a couple of things about 'youth', and the guy was all over them.

Fū had gotten to be friends with Shino, who was going to be starting at the Academy soon, and the two often trained together. His dodging skills were certainly up to par.

Naruto and Kuro had gotten even closer through all this, and he'd even let her give her a kiss on his forehead rather than just the usual hug. This marked a new stage in their relationship, and Kuro began to train him.

In April, Kuro turned sixteen, but another thing had happened, too – Kuro had found a ninken of her own. It was quite by accident, but everyone knew how the Forest of Death could get. Her ninken was a Bay Cat and Kuro had put a navy blue bandanna around her neck with the Yin clan symbol on it.

Soon it was time for the Chūnin Exams to begin – Kuro and Utakata, who'd also become a ninja, had been put with another genin named Jinta, whose teammates had already become chūnin. He was a bit immature, but reliable, and Kuro and Utakata were able to work with him.

The trip to Suna was uneventful, and the kids were being taken care of back at home. The Aburame clan, surprisingly, had offered to take in Fū for the duration of the Exams, and Kuro, baffled, had asked why. Shibi had kept silent, and Kuro, seeing as how she wasn't going to get an answer, simply shrugged and said that it was up to Fū whether she wanted to go – she'd agreed immediately. Jūgo had been taken in by Anko, and Rōshi had stayed with Kimimaro. He'd also promised to play with and keep an eye on Naruto.

As Kuro reached the gates to Sunagakure and went through customs, her mind was whirling. She was eager to find Tarantu and never let her go again. As soon as she could, she gave her team the slip, saying that she needed to find her sister. Utakata and Jinta had shrugged and agreed, as did their team sensei – so she hurried off to find her best friend.

Kuro hurried along the streets, her eyes kept peeled for anyone familiar. So far she'd found a couple of stores, a nondescript bar (she'd have to check that one out later), and a clothing store. She wasn't interested in the clothing (she'd brought along a breathable white desert poncho, so she was cool), but filed it away for future reference anyway. As she turned a corner, she saw a flash of brown hair. Hurrying towards it, she watched as the person turned her head to look at something – then she grinned.

"Tarantu!" she called and the girl turned towards her in surprise. "Kuro?"

"The one and only!" She laughed and ran up to her friend, embracing her fiercely – the hug was returned just as exuberantly. "I missed you," Tarantu said softly, and Kuro nodded her assent. The two began to catch up on the happenings, and Kuro learned that Tarantu had been training hard, having given her vow to protect the three children she saw as her own, while Tarantu learned that Kuro had developed a taste for alcohol. She also met Kuro's ninken, the Bay Cat.

"What's her name?" Kuro shrugged. "She doesn't have one. I see no point." Tarantu twitched. "You're not naming her? Why?"

"Names are simply words that you associate with another being. Whenever you think of that being, you think, 'oh, that's such-and-such' and leave it at that. Without names, she and I have a stronger bond because we don't communicate using words that only get in the way. It's almost a Buddhist-like way of thinking." Tarantu nodded in understanding and left it at that, although she did admonish her friend from drinking – even though Sara did trick her into doing it.

Kuro simply shrugged. "At least I'm not smoking, gambling, or having sex," she said cheerfully.

Tarantu took Kuro to the house to visit Yashamaru and Gaara and meet Kankurō and Temari. As she passed through the hallways, following closely behind her sister, she looked around at the place in awe – the Kazekage's house was damn impressive!

"Okā-san!" a child's voice called, and muffled footsteps came their way. Kuro and Tarantu turned towards the voice to see Gaara running towards them. He looked at Kuro with a grin. "Kuro onē-san!" he said in surprise. "You're visiting?" With a laugh, Kuro nodded. "Yes," she said. "I'm here for the Chūnin Exams."

"Okā-san is in the Exams, too," he said sagely – or as sagely as a five-year-old can get, anyway, "so you're probably going to have to fight her." Kuro seemed to deflate slightly at this, but she smiled anyway. "Yeah, probably," she agreed. "But right now, I'm just glad that I can see her again. It's been too long. And you too, Gaara-chan! How've you been?"

With a wide smile, Gaara began to chatter away about how he was training hard, and one day he was going to be Kazekage! He also mentioned that the beetle Fū had given him had grown bigger and had begun to fight alongside him – he was also able to send images through it to Fū like she was able to do to his. By following the instructions in Kuro's letter, he'd been able to unlock more of his beetle's secrets.

For example, before, the images Fū had sent him were grainy, short, and blurry at best, and all he had were the visuals – there was no sound at all. He also couldn't communicate with his beetle, nor could he send clips of his own through the insect – now he could communicate with Fū by using the beetle as a sort of mental video phone.

But he wasn't just limited to sending messages to Fū, no – he could send images to any of the other beetles she'd given to the other jinchūriki: Han, Nī, Killer Bee, Rōshi, Naruto, and Utakata.

The beetle had grown as well – now it was as big as a puppy, and Gaara carried it around in a sort of messenger bag thrown over his shoulder, though it also liked to ride on his head. He had also recently decided to name it – it was Sui, written with the kanji for 'water'.

As Gaara spoke they continued to walk and eventually met up with Temari and Kankurō. Soon, however, Kuro needed to leave, though she promised to spend more time with her.

Utakata, Jinta, and her team sensei had checked into a pretty damn nice hotel – Kuro had a room all to herself, as the boys were sharing another room. With a sigh, Kuro stepped out onto the roof and rubbed her eyes. She hated sleeping alone – after all this time sleeping in the same bed, or at least the same room, with her family, the sensation of being completely alone in her own room was…empty. All in all, she didn't like it.

Suddenly her eyes gained a sort of maniacal glint to them and she jumped back inside before making a shadow clone to spend the night – or at least until she fell asleep, anyway. After all, what better company can one keep than oneself?

* * *

Back in Konoha, it was a different story.

Fū stood in front of the Aburame clan compound, suddenly full of trepidation. Although she liked Shibi and Shino, she was very, _very_ wary of meeting new people in the first place, despite her actions suggesting the contrary. She scooted over until she was behind Shibi – she didn't exactly trust him completely (at least not yet) but she had enough faith in his abilities to protect her should the situation call for it. She knew that it wasn't logical in the least bit to hide behind a man who she didn't fully trust, but being a fellow bug user, she understood him on a more instinctual level – that and he simply seemed to exude serenity and calm, she couldn't help but want him as her wall.

Shibi glanced at the girl who'd hidden behind him and decided to ignore it, though he did file it away in the back of his mind for further examination later on before leading the girl into the clan compound.

A few of the Aburame who were out wordlessly glanced at her, confused for a moment as to why there was a little non-Aburame child in their compound, but ignored it after a nearly undetectable warning look from their kumichō, their clan leader.

Shibi led Fū directly to his house and let her inside. As soon as she caught sight of Shino (whom she already trusted, even more than Shibi), she ran up to him and drop-tackled him to the ground. "Shino!" she chirped, clutching his midsection. The boy lay on the floor for a moment before lifting his head and looking down at Fū, a slight hint of pink on his cheeks. "Fū-san?"

The orange-eyed girl pouted. "Oi, Shino, I told you not to be so distant! Just call me Fū!" Shino simply nodded, making her pout. It seemed that every time she got near him, he'd clam up and wouldn't talk in that adorable way of his – she'd pointed it out to him once, but all he did was shrug, although she saw a hint of pink on his cheeks before he turned away. Yes, Shino was weird, but in a cute way that she couldn't resist poking and prodding.

The Aburame compound had never before seen such a flurry of activity within their walls. The tanned girl had taken to running around the place, looking at and investigating anything and everything, dragging a complying Shino in tow. A few had wondered why, exactly, their kumichō had brought a stranger here in the first place, never mind that fact that she was currently running around with his son, but they simply chose to watch for now.

The girl was a chatterbox, talking at such a rapid pace that Shino found it hard to keep up, especially with her odd way of saying things. He did catch the gist, though, and so far her ramblings had jumped from her mother's and elder brother's participation in the Chūnin Exams in Suna to a kid named Gaara who was just like her (he couldn't help a mild spike of jealousy at this) to psychic beetles to insects to jutsu. Currently, she was talking about plants.

Shino…quite honestly didn't know what he saw in her sometimes. He didn't understand, at his age, that his father was trying to manipulate the two together, but he did understand that his father had been acting strangely around him, asking him about Fū, and now inviting her over. He'd gone through several hypotheses, but none of them worked. It was understandable, though – a child could not unravel the plots of an adult Aburame, even if the child was an Aburame as well.

Even so, he did understand that she was the very first person outside or his clan who had actually become his friend – usually, the Aburame kept away from the rest of the populace, and the rest of Konoha's citizens kept away from them as well in an unspoken mutual agreement. However, despite their quiet natures, the Aburame as a clan was more inter-connected than the Inuzuka – while the Inuzuka were pack-minded, they were ruled by their emotions. Aburame were taught to think logically and quash their emotions to have better control over their hives – hives that were controlled by their emotions in the first place. If the emotion was strong enough, the kikaichū would act in accordance, despite the user's wishes. If the emotions weren't in the way, or were subtle enough to pulse _just beneath_ the surface, they couldn't get in the way of clan relationships.

Because of their innate skill in hiding their emotions, Aburame were often seen as the perfect ninja.

Although these lessons had been drilled into Shino's head ever since he was old enough to understand them, he was still a child and had less control over his emotions as an adult would. This was often seen in his inability to deal with the less logically-inclined people – how could they not act as maturely as he did? Didn't they know how to be more emotionally composed? He'd seen adults get so angry it was comical, and this grated on his nerves. They were acting like uncivilized barbarians! How were they even considered mentally competent?

And yet, through all this, Shino saw something special in Fū – she didn't get comically angry like those angry men and women, and although she showed a lot of emotion, it was somehow more gentle and flowing than other people. Even so, there was a hint of rawness to it that attracted him to her like – for lack of a better term – a moth to a lamp. While he didn't yet know whether Fū would burn him in the end, she was just too tempting to befriend.

* * *

Elsewhere, Jūgo was silently observing Anko's way of life.

She lived in a normal-sized apartment in Konoha, with a rather Spartan décor. A single futon sat in the corner, and the place was a bit of a mess, with scrolls and clothes lying everywhere. Anko, who had dragged him to her flat, was currently grinning from ear to ear. "This is my place!" she chirped. "It's a bit messy, but that's because I was feeling lazy. C'mon! I don't want to have to stay in this place all day, it's boring!" And with that, she dragged him off to do something else.

Jūgo kept his face soft and blank as Anko dragged him through Konoha, doing random things. He noticed that everyone pretty much ignored her, although one or two men had been either brave or stupid enough to give her the once-over – she _was_ wearing pretty skimpy clothes. Even so, it probably should've been obvious that if you looked at her the wrong way (or stared at her for too long), she'd kill you. And she'd make it slow and painful.

He honestly didn't understand why she showed off her body like that – neither Okā-san, nor Fū imōto, nor Sara onē-san showed off their bodies like that, and they even went to great lengths just to hide it. Of course, there were a lot of things he didn't understand – why anyone would want to be a ninja and kill people, for one.

Jūgo honestly hated hurting others. His alter-ego was a curse in and of itself – for someone as peaceful as he, knowing that there was another part of him that reveled in bloodshed was sickening. And unlike Utakata onī-san, Rōshi ojī-san, and Fū imōto, he couldn't control it. He didn't even have the satisfaction of knowing that this part of him was a completely different being – this damned alter-ego was a part of him, a part he kept locked up as much as possible.

Even so, he tried to live an honest life. He worked on Haruo-san's farm and got a small salary as well as invaluable knowledge of the land. Haku's father was really a good man, and whenever he saw him with Kasumi he couldn't help but smile, even though he often wondered how he could ever get that kind of relationship – how could he ever love someone when a dark part of him wanted nothing more than to rip him to shreds?

At least, he would remind himself during these times, he had a family. He had a mother who loved him despite his other half, a little sister who loved nothing more than to play with him, a brother with whom he was so comfortable the two could simply sit in silence, saying nothing, and a grandfather who was there whenever he needed help controlling his darkness. Not to mention, he also had a completely insane elder sister who loved to simply chatter, another elder sister who was currently dragging him everywhere, an elder brother who liked to mess with people's heads (usually by making them think he was a girl before telling them he was a boy), and another elder brother who he could always go to for calm, sage advice and had a strange obsession of using bubbles while fighting.

Yes, life was good for him if he let himself forget about his other side – it was a testament to his disassociation with it that he hadn't even bothered to give it a name – but even so, those niggling doubts still let themselves be known in one way or another.

Anko, meanwhile, was ecstatic. She absolutely adored Jūgo, and having the cute brat stay with her was extremely comforting. Recently, Orochimaru had tossed her aside like yesterday's garbage, finding no more use for her. He'd given this whole speech about how she was completely useless, and then dumped her on the side of the road for no reason other than to see her flounder. It was a slap in the face, she'd thought with satisfaction, that she'd been able to find her way to Konoha. She, along with the Sandaime, had spun a clever tale about how she'd been kidnapped before she'd finally been able to escape – although they never did release the name of the man who'd taken her away.

A few people were suspicious, but the majority either didn't care or commended her for her bravery. A few had connected the dots and realized that she was taken by Orochimaru, but the Hokage had make it clear that anyone who spoke about it was subject to punishment.

Since she'd been away all these years, it was hard to find anyone with whom she could simply talk (she had been working on Kurenai), but Kuro had utterly destroyed that problem, and now Jūgo was here to play with her!

Despite her social awkwardness (a trait she shared with pretty much every other ninja to walk this earth), she'd been able to make friends – although it was probably more correct to say that Kuro had made a friend out of her.

* * *

Kimimaro and Rōshi were acting like they usually did – Rōshi spent his time either relaxing or training Kimimaro, while Kimimaro spent his time either studying or being trained by Rōshi. Of course, had the other children been there Rōshi's training efforts would have expanded to fit all four children, and this included Jūgo – even if he didn't want to be a ninja, it didn't mean he would be able to stop protecting his precious people. However, they weren't there and therefore the point was moot.

* * *

Back in Kirigakure no Sato, a muscular man was standing in front of two children – one was Hōzuki Suigetsu, and the other was Chōjūrō – that he chose for the next generation of the Seven Swordsmen of the Hidden Mist. It was time for the day or reckoning.

"Alright," Zabuza said gruffly, taking out three swords – two, the Kiba, or Fangs, channeled lightning and were the sharpest swords in existence. He handed them to Suigetsu, who held them almost reverently. The Godaime Mizukage ignored this and turned his attention to Chōjūrō. The kid had potential, definitely, but his self-defeating attitude got damn annoying at times. The last sword was Hiramekarei, or the Flounder – it was able to create attacks using chakra. Zabuza gave this one to the boy, who fumbled with it for a minute before actually getting a hold on it, flushing slightly in embarrassment.

Kisame, who stood next to Zabuza, snorted. In the back of his mind, he'd expected a little more fanfare, but Zabuza wasn't that kind of person. He just got things over and done with. Kisame could appreciate that. After the disastrous mission where he'd killed the previous wielder of his beloved Samehada, or Shark Skin, he'd been about ready to run and never look back – he wanted to begin his own quest for the truth. But now that Zabuza was Mizukage, he decided to stick around for a bit. The reforms came immediately, and Kirigakure was changed into a village with actual morals!

Although he didn't care much for dramatizing things, Zabuza was probably the best thing to happen to Kiri – even though he was complete crap with politics. But that was a story for another time.

* * *

Kuro grinned as she walked through the doors to the area of the first test – she'd briefed Utakata on what to expect, and the teen didn't even bat an eyelid, not even asking how she got the information. Jinta, their other teammate, already knew what to expect, so Kuro told him nothing – she didn't want to play her cards too early after all.

The first test was quite similar to the one in Konoha, although the proctors were much, much stricter here – Kuro had just barely managed to cheat without being caught by working out something with Utakata beforehand. Utakata was currently playing with his bubbles – bubbles that allowed him a third eye over other test-takers. These same bubbles were also able to project things, such as answers to tests, on whatever they touched for a short amount of time – long enough so that the person would be able to trace over the answers and have them permanently written down. Jinta was helped in this way as well, since it wouldn't do for him to be the only person in their team to fail, and therefore bring them down with him.

As she waited out the remainder of the test, Kuro leaned over onto her test paper and got into a comfortable position, pondering what exactly she had become. Ever since she'd turned sixteen, her 'morals' had been steadily slipping away. She saw no need for morals, and she saw neither Good nor Evil, for she didn't believe in such childish fantasies.

In her mind, morals had come about due to the fact that they were ingrained in every complex animal species due to millions of years of evolution – those who didn't have morals or common sense to tell them what to do either lost mating rights or died off, making them stagnant genetic failures in the eyes of natural selection. Things such as Good or Evil only existed in the twisted ideologies of humans who failed to see things as they truly were, instead slapping a name tag on something and considering it 'solved'.

But such things didn't have names to begin with – Good, Evil, Dark, Light… Despite language playing a major role in communication and evolution in several species (including humans), it has made true understanding stagnate into infested pools of fixed thoughts and ideas. Did no one see the sky as what it was without fixing the label 'sky' to it? How does a child, unlearned in the art of language, see the sky? How does he see the trees? Language has made the human race more advanced, yet hopelessly more ignorant, than the rest of the animal kingdom.

Good and Evil were also simply pathetic human inventions made to keep people in line – sure, it kept homo sapiens as a whole one of the few surviving species, but the whole thing had gotten so complex and idiotic that Kuro had washed her hands of it. She had no morals, not any more. When she was younger, her older sister had told her that if she pointed her finger up at the sky, it meant that she hated God. Back then, she'd spent maybe a week fretting about it and keeping her hands at her sides until she completely forgot about it.

Now, however, that she'd grown, Kuro found herself peeling away, piece by piece, the very structure upon which humanity had been built. Soon it would come crumbling down, at least in her eyes. Heck, it had already started to crumble, and she'd just found herself picking at the edges of the crumbling human ideology in the beginning. Now she was in too deep to get out.

For Good or for Bad, Kuro found that she didn't really care.

She gently pushed herself out of her thoughts and focused her attention on the Proctor for the first Exam. He was trying to psyche them out by asking them 'the tenth question', but Kuro wasn't buying it, and neither did Utakata. Jinta didn't either, since he'd already been through the exams at least four times and knew what to expect. It ended with the Proctor saying that they'd all passed, and after several questions another Proctor entered to take them to the arena for the Second Test.

Kuro, having always had problems listening, unwittingly tuned her out – she had to ask Utakata what had been said, and Kuro, glad that she hadn't missed anything important, followed the Proctor with the rest of her team to the outskirts of a training area – a desert wasteland.

Tarantu had also passed the First Test with her teammates, Gīchi and Maiko. Now, however, was the hard part – to get them to accept her authority during the Second Test. The Second Test was traditionally a survival ordeal, and it was crucial that they had a team leader during this part. The problem was that they didn't seem to want to accept a team leader who actually had _morals_.

What did they care if they killed someone during this part of the test? What did they care if they crippled others? Certainly there were other things to think about than such trivial matters! By the gods above, were they ninja or weren't they?

Tarantu had much higher morals than those around her, it seemed – she was innocent, never even touching a drop of alcohol, much less having killed someone. She couldn't comprehend everyone's apathy to death and hurt around them. How could they watch without acting against it? How could they _partake_ in the bloodshed?

Honestly, it seemed to her sometimes that she was the only sane one left.

To kill, she'd always been taught, especially to do so without remorse, made one a monster. To hurt someone just to see them cry was bad. To go against morality for no reason other than to go against it was Evil. Evil, that is, with a capital letter E.

Because she lived her life by the moral code and the Golden Rule, her teammates thought of her as a child, someone they shouldn't follow – but in her mind, they were the children. To do what they did for no other reason than _they got paid_… It was selfish, childlike behavior, and Tarantu was going to change it.

She was torn from her thoughts as the second Proctor explained the rules of the Second Test – the rules were quite simple, and mirrored the rules from the Naruto manga; get two scrolls and get to the tower. Now completely alert, Tarantu and her team walked behind a curtain to receive their scroll after signing a contract that if they died it wasn't Suna's fault, and yadda yadda yadda. However, unlike in Konoha, if a team were no longer able to participate then they'd have the option of sending up a flare so that a proctor would come get them. Apparently concessions had to be made by Suna to be able to let competitors participate in one of the harshest environments known to man.

Probably the strangest thing about the whole ordeal was that the training area where they'd be stuck for the next five days was a complete and total desert – there was no way to get water other than the water they gave you at the beginning of the test. A few of the smarter teams, namely those from Suna or Kuro's team, had brought their own water. The less-experienced teams were practically doomed from the start.

Tarantu, with a grin, walked over to Kuro, her own team in tow. "Kuro," she said quietly. "Do you want to team up? If we combine our talents and resources, we'll be formidable." Kuro, catching on, grinned and nodded. They told each other through which gates they should enter, and Kuro, having been extra-super sneaky, had Utakata copy down the map they'd been shown onto a piece of paper using his bubbles – after it had been traced and sealed for only their eyes, the team was ready to go.

Tarantu's team was to wait at their gate until they were found by Kuro's team, at which point they would meet up. Under normal circumstances neither team would've agreed, but Kuro and Tarantu were extremely close, and one would never betray the other, no matter what.

As the starting gong rang through the arena, Kuro led her team, which had started at Gate Sixteen, to Tarantu's team's gate, which was Gate Thirty-Two. Jinta had elected to carry the scroll, and Kuro had agreed.

The sun beat down on Kuro's team as they made their way around the perimeter of the area. All three of them had divided up the water equally – Kuro had made a fantastic seal that allowed one to see exactly how much water was left in their canteens, since the canteens held all of their water using a storage seal that would keep it full. It took maybe half the day to traverse the area, and while they hadn't met any teams along the way (since they stuck to the perimeter and all the opposing teams were in the middle), they only had four and a half days left to get another scroll.

When Kuro's team got there, Tarantu was extremely grateful. Maiko and Gīchi had bothered her the entire time about simply forgetting about it and going off on their own. It took several well-placed threats to keep them in line.

Tarantu hated making threats. They made her feel…unclean.

"All right," Kuro said. "I'm not going to ask what scroll you guys have – that stays secret. But we _will_ be sharing the map. Tarantu, did you get my special canteens?"

"Yes, they work perfectly. We've also been using a technique that lets you stay hydrated by expelling body heat through chakra so that you don't need to sweat. It's not hard, but it takes a considerable amount of chakra." Kuro nodded. "Tarantu, am I correct in assuming that you're your team leader?"

"Yes."

"All right, you call the shots. I'll be your second." Tarantu looked a bit nervous at this, but nodded in acquiescence. She thought a moment. "All right," she said authoritatively. "I would suggest going to the middle and setting up traps there."

Kuro nodded. "And if we're ambushed by another team?" Tarantu stood silent at this before speaking slowly. "I…don't like direct confrontations," she admitted. "But if we have to, we're _not_ using anything lethal, and we're setting up a flare so that someone will come help them. I don't want any unnecessary deaths on my hands.

"That being said, does anyone have any way of scoping out the area?" Utakata stepped forward. "I do," he said plainly. "I can use my bubbles to give me a birds' eye view of the area. What would you like me to be on the lookout for?"

"Any enemy teams," Tarantu said, apparently relieved. "We want to steer clear of them until we get to the middle." There was a moment's pause as Utakata reached into his jug of bubble solution and blew a bubble, which zoomed up and away from the group.

"We're in the clear," Utakata said. "Follow me and we won't bump into anyone." As soon as they started moving, Tarantu began to relax. It had been so freaking _annoying_ earlier with Maiko whining about how stupid it was to team up with 'those Konoha weaklings'. At least now that they were together, Maiko wouldn't outwardly complain. Tarantu let Utakata take the lead, and fell back to talk with Gīchi, the resident trap-master, about the right kind of trap for their environment.

As the sun began to set over the horizon, the two teams continued along the way. On Tarantu's suggestion, they'd travel by night and sleep during the day. At night, Kuro would be their eyes, as she could see much better than they could in the dark. Since they didn't stop, however, Gīchi, Maiko, and Jinta were very tired by daybreak, though they at least reached the tower. Utakata set up camp underground with Gīchi's help, and a few sand traps. Then they went to sleep, with Kuro keeping watch.

Kuro sighed as she shifted positions. At the moment, she was hidden underground, keeping watch on the happenings above through Utakata's bubble jutsu, which he'd powered enough to stay active even as he slept. It had been two hours and not a single team had come by. As much as she'd rather simply find a team and beat the crap out of them, she'd told Tarantu that she was in charge. She wasn't stupid, but Tarantu was very kind and sweet. The life of a ninja was not the one for her. She simply wanted to be a medic-nin.

With a yawn, the brunette stretched and looked back into the bubble, her eyes half-closed. The entire affair had been quite understated, really, with no direct confrontations and no deaths. It was very…ninja-like, really. Even so, Kuro was ready to tear her hair out from lack of action. Thank goodness she'd developed self-control, though it was necessary in the first place with her mental disorder. She truly had the strangest thoughts, ranging from killing herself or others to having sex with strangers. She also tended to over-think things. Anyone who got stuck in her head would be mentally scarred after his ordeal was over.

Although it did give her a significant advantage over the Yamanaka clan, didn't it?

She was shaken from her thoughts as the bubble showed a three-man team advancing towards the tower. With a grin, she went to wake the others. Finally, it was time to have some fun.

The team had both scrolls and was taken down quite easily – they fell into one of Gīchi's traps and were quickly taken out (non-lethally, as per Tarantu's orders). Both Kuro and Tarantu's teams now had both scrolls and entered the tower. Two people were there to congratulate them on a job well done, but seemed surprised that they'd worked together. Even so, they'd gotten the thing done in a little over a day.

* * *

Utakata sat next to Kuro and Tarantu, idly letting his eyes slide over the room. There were only four teams there – one from Suna (Tarantu, Gīchi, and Maiko), one from Konoha (Kuro, Jinta, and himself), one from Kiri, and one from Kumo (whose members they didn't know by name). The ones from Kumo looked quite menacing to the average person, but also seemed to be the type of people who got by on brute force – and it would take more than brute force to defeat him. The ones from Kiri, by contrast, were quiet and unassuming, meaning they probably relied more on their mental power than the ones from Kumo – they'd be, he believed, the tougher opponents.

Of course, he was pleased with how things had turned out. Since the teams had come from these particular Hidden Villages, that meant that their particular Kage would arrive to watch the Finals. He had no doubt that Zabuza would come once he found out who, exactly, had made it to the Finals, the Hokage would definitely come to cheer on his own participants (it was just something he did), the Kazekage would obviously be there (he _was_ hosting the Exams, after all), and although he didn't know whether the Raikage would come, he knew that he probably would – not to come when most of your other counterparts weren't there was political suicide. And since it would be rude to invite all of the other Kage and not the Iwakage, he'd also be probably invited.

A proctor walked into the room and led them to the room next to it, where they were all instructed to stand in the middle of the room in front of a small platform. They silently followed the proctor's instructions and soon there came a puff of smoke that dissipated to reveal the first a large group of people. The people behind stood in a straight line and consisted of all of the jōnin sensei whose teams made it past the second round. The people in front stood in a semi-circle and consisted of all of the proctors, including the head Proctors for the First and Second tasks. In the middle of the semicircle stood the Kazekage. Hiss eyes swept across the room cleanly, and no one spoke.

Then the Kazekage opened his mouth. "I wish to congratulate you all on passing the Second Exam," he said regally before taking a dramatic pause as he eyed each of the contestants in turn – his eyes seemed to linger on Tarantu and, by extension, Kuro, who had her arm looped through her friends. Kuro, noticing this, gave him a happy grin. This seemed to piss him off for some reason that wasn't made readily apparent to Kuro. But before she could dwell on it, he continued.

"The Third Examination is about to commence. But before I go into the specifics of how it will be conducted, let me make one thing perfectly clear; it pertains to the underlying purpose of this exam." A few of the genin looked confused at this, but he had their undivided attention. "Why," he asked quietly, but not so quietly that they couldn't hear, "do you suppose an examination of this nature is being jointly conducted by all of the nations in our mutual alliance? 'To promote friendship among allied nations and raise the level and standards in the art of the ninja'… Be very clear about what those fine-sounding phrases actually mean. This series of so-called examinations is, in fact…

"…A war-in-miniature between all of our allied lands." No one spoke a word as these words floated gently, yet firmly out of the Kazekage's mouth. That this veil had been dropped so suddenly, the shock most of the genin were feeling had many trembling in their sandals. Only Kuro, Tarantu, and Utakata remained unaffected, and even then Utakata's eyes widened a fraction – whatever he'd been expecting, it wasn't that.

Before the shock could fully wear off, the Kazekage began to explain how the Chūnin Selection Exams came to be (but only briefly; he was, after all, a very busy man), and everyone absorbed as much of this information as they could.

The Kazekage then introduced the Proctor for the Third Exam – his name, Kuro and Tarantu realized in amusement, was Baki: the very same Baki who'd been Gaara, Kankurō, and Temari's jōnin sensei.

Baki then explained when the Third Exams were taking place and they all took numbers out of a box, whereupon he told them who they were fighting:

Utakata versus a female Kiri-nin

Jinta versus Gīchi

A male Kumo-nin versus Kuro

Maiko versus a male Kiri-nin

A female Kumo-nin versus a male Kumo-nin

Tarantu versus a female Kiri-nin

Utakata memorized the form and copied it with one of his bubbles before putting it on a scroll he kept on him for random notes. He glanced at his opponent and inclined his head slightly to show his respect. She did the same. He rolled the scroll back up and placed it in his light blue fighting kimono.

* * *

**A/N: And so endeth another installation of ****Made of Fail****, authored by yours truly.**


	12. Chunin Exams Part Two

**Made of Fail**

* * *

_Chapter Nine_

Kuro hated the sun. She hated it with every fiber of her being.

That was why she'd taken to sleeping during the day and waking as the sun went down – at least when she was in a goddamn desert. Fucking sun.

Anyway, as Kuro sat at the desk in her hotel room with scrolls covering the entirety of it, an inkwell in one corner and a paintbrush in her hand, she began to mutter to herself.

"No, if I do that the energy will collapse in on itself, what if I, no, that wouldn't work, if he's a lightning-type he'll just use it to his advantage, but if I… Yes, that'd work, but _that's not what I'm trying to figure out right now!_" Kuro slammed her hands onto the desk, very nearly upsetting her inkwell, before she stood and began to pace.

"Okay, before I do anything, I need to formulate a plan of action. Think, Kuro, _think!_ Yes, this isn't your strong suit, but thinking ahead is necessary for survival in this world! Okay, so if I soak him with water balloons… But that'd only work if he truly _is_ a lightning-type. If he's something else I'll need to counter with something else, but assuming he _is_ a lightning-type I'll have to fight him using his own element against him, and I'll need a hell of a lot of water for that, and that's a damn waste… What if… Yes, I can do that, add wind to the water to boost its volume, but it'll still be a waste… But of course, this is only if he's a lightning user, if he doesn't rely on lightning-type attacks I'll need to formulate a completely different plan…"

Then she smacked herself across the face. Hard. "Stupid!" she cried out. "I'm _wind!_ Wind is strong against lightning! Nyū~…"

Outside, Gaara, Temari, and Kankurō watched Kuro's insanity rise to the surface through the window.

"She's gone off the edge, hasn't she?"

"Yep."

* * *

Unlike Kuro, Tarantu didn't need to talk out loud to herself to figure out a plan. If she needed to fight that Kiri-nin, then she'd simply take her down with a genjutsu – or, if that failed, challenge her to something completely ridiculous, like arm-wrestling, and beat her through her sheer strength (bolstered, of course, by her chakra). Instead, she was studying the list of who would fight whom.

If she beat the Kiri kunoichi, she'd have to fight one of the Kumo-nin. If she won against one of them, there was a chance she'd have to fight Kuro. But to do that, Kuro would have to win against her own Kumo shinobi, plus whoever won the fight between Maiko and her opponent, a Kiri shinobi. Plus, she'd need to win against Utakata, and if he were fighting seriously there was no way she'd win. There was also no question that Utakata would win his fights, at least up until the battle between himself and Kuro, if it did indeed happen.

But that still left her own problem – did she even want to fight? All she wanted to do was help others – she didn't like hurting people. Yet, if she didn't try her hardest she'd stay a genin, and the Kazekage and everyone would be watching and _the Kazekage did not tolerate failure, especially if you didn't try your hardest._

Good lord, she was confused.

* * *

Utakata was not having nearly as hard a time as the others – he knew his goal, and he knew how to achieve it. All that was left was training.

* * *

A few days before the final stage of the Exams began, the other Kage had arrived in Suna. Kuro had crawled out of her hidey-hole as soon as she'd heard, and when she saw Zabuza in _formal attire_, she laughed her ass off. Everyone watched in horror – you didn't laugh at a ninja, especially a Kage, _especially_ if that Kage was _Momochi Zabuza_.

Had they been expecting a fight, they'd have been disappointed.

"Stop laughing, brat."

"AHAHAHA! But it's – AHAHA – so damn – AHA – funny!" Zabuza turned to her and narrowed his eyes. "You've got a death wish." Kuro shrugged, the insane laughter gone but the laughter in her eyes still remaining.

"Only if I knew you were going to kill me, which I know you won't, 'Nī-chan." The passersby's jaws dropped.

"I told you not to call me that!"

"Okay…'Nī-chan."

"All right, that's it!"

"Ack! Put that down, you crazy bastard!"

"I'm not trying to kill you, it's realistic training where it doesn't matter if you accidentally lose your head!" Suigetsu, who was standing behind him, shook his head in exasperation, while Chōjūrō simply cringed back in horror. They were the only two people Zabuza had brought with him to Suna (leaving Terumī Mei in charge), stating that he knew how to take care of himself and he just wanted to show the new kids around.

Things with the Raikage were settled quite a bit differently.

As soon as Kuro saw him she grinned and dragged Tarantu up to introduce them. Once again, people held their breath as they waited for the Kage with anger management issues to grind them into meat paste, but they were, again, sorely disappointed.

Tarantu smiled and bowed to him. "It's nice to meet you," she said. A greeted her before leveling a glare on Kuro. "You had something to do with Momochi becoming Mizukage, didn't you? And if it wasn't you, it was Sara."

Kuro grinned and shrugged. "I was with him when it happened, but I didn't have anything to do with it…much. I never asked Sara-chan." The grin grew wider. "Is Kumo recovering from the intensive damage Sara wreaked? When I left, that street vendor was still frothing at the mouth."

"I hardly qualify a single exploding fruit cart 'extensive damage' – especially where Sara is concerned. Last time she did far, far worse."

…

"I'm so sorry."

"Apology accepted," A said. "You didn't know her for too long, so it's to be expected. She's the kind of person who'd blow up the world just to see the fireworks."

"No, that's standard crazy," Kuro disagreed. "That bomber, Deidara, thinks like that. Sara's insanity is beyond the human scope of comprehension." The two agreed and shivered involuntarily. That bitch was _insane in the membrane_.

They didn't meet up with any of the other Kage – the Iwakage, Ōnoki, didn't come, anyway – but they didn't need to do so. Besides, they were busy getting ready for the Finals in a few days.

But that didn't mean they were prepared for what happened next. They were completely shocked when they saw the rest of the Family there.

Kuro, Tarantu, and Utakata stared at the people in front of them. They were all there – Rōshi, Sara, Kimimaro, Anko, Jūgo, Fū, Haku…and even Naruto had been allowed to come under the Hokage's protection.

With a giant grin on her face that squeezed her eyes shut, Kuro began to introduce them to Tarantu.

It was with his joyful reunion still fresh in their minds that the Finals began.

* * *

Naruto sat in the stands in between Fū and Jūgo. Through the beetle he'd been given from Fū, he'd already known Gaara and a bunch of other people – it was great to finally know him personally. Gaara was fun to be around.

Squirming in his seat, the blond boy stared down at the arena, where everyone stood in a line facing the Kage booth. "When's it gonna start, dattebayo?" he whined, his ever-present pout deepening. "I thought we were gonna see people kick butt! They're just standing around!"

Fū turned to him and gave him a hug – they were sitting in the same seat due to their size – and smiled at him. "Don't worry, Naru-chan!" she chirped. "It's gonna start soon, you'll see." She spared a glance at the arena. "See, Uta 'nī-chan and that Kiri kunoichi are about to fight!"

Down in the arena, Utakata and the Kiri kunoichi faced each other – Utakata was standing in a straight, yet relaxed posture, while the Kiri-nin took a low stance. Baki, the Proctor, stood between them. "Utakata versus Taki Ichiko: Hajime."

Ichiko immediately flew at Utakata, her face set in determination. Utakata waited for her to come at him as he took the one of the starting Slug stances. Ichiko struck a full blow on his chest, which made him lean back impossibly far, his spine seemingly deciding to ignore what normal spines were supposed to do, before he sprung back and used the momentum to hit her hard in the sternum.

The girl hadn't expected this at all, which was why it worked – she flew back and scraped along the ground, coming to a stop a couple dozen meters away from him. "Proctor-san," Utakata said mildly. "You might want to call out the medics. Her sternum is shattered."

Before Baki could call out the winner, however, Ichiko began to stand. "I won't…lose…to the likes of you," she hissed. Utakata simply looked at her calmly. "You might want to stay down," he offered. "You'll do more damage if you get up." This, unfortunately, seemed to make Ichiko even madder. She immediately tried to run towards him, but as soon as she moved her torso she cried out in pain and fell to the ground.

Baki called the match in Utakata's favor and the medic-nin ran onto the field to care for Ichiko. As Utakata walked off amidst confused, yet polite applause, Ichiko turned her head to look at him. Tears of humiliation and pain prickled at the corners of her eyes and she burned the image of that teen into her memory. 'I'll get you for this,' she thought to herself. 'You'll pay for humiliating me in front of Mizukage-sama.'

Back up in the stands, Naruto was yelling out in confusion. "I knew we were gonna see him kick butt, but I wanted a longer fight than this, dattebayo!" he cried out. Fū agreed with him and they began to talk loudly to each other about how confused they were that what Utakata did was awesome, but they wanted a longer fight and they didn't know which one to choose.

They were only quieted by the next fight: Jinta versus Gīchi.

The two boys stared at each other. "I just want you to know," Jinta said loudly, "that it wasn't my idea to team up with the likes of you. I just did it for the sake of passing the second test. But now, I'm gonna kick your ass! I hate people like you!"

Gīchi narrowed his eyes at him. "You're pathetic," he said in monotone. "I didn't want to team up with you, either – it was only because our team _leader_ made us do it that it was done. Now that I don't need to listen to her, I'm going to crush you like a bug."

Up in the stands, Fū was being restrained from going down and kicking Gīchi's butt.

"Hajime!"

Jinta flew at Gīchi in a rage, but he calmly sidestepped the attack and drove his heel into Jinta's back, making him hit the ground hard. He stood up and whirled around, a kunai in his hand, only to slash at air as Gīchi ducked before attempting to punch out his knees.

Jinta jumped over this attack and aimed a kick at Gīchi's head, pushing away hard and landing on the ground a few meters away. His opponent held his head in his hands as he stood up and began to sway. Seeing his chance, Jinta began to throw shuriken at him – although his aim was off, it improved as he got closer and still wounded him.

As soon as he got close enough to punch him, however, the ground underneath him collapsed and he fell, with a yell, into the hole – and into the waiting arms of a humanoid spider puppet. Gīchi stood up straight and looked down at Jinta, who was struggling to get out of the puppet's deadly embrace. "Remember," he said coldly as he looked down at his struggling opponent, "that I am a master of traps. Since the last Task, I've been training to work with puppets to help me with my traps. Now you don't only have to deal with me, you have to deal with my little helper. While I distracted you, he set up my trap underground. Do you admit defeat?"

The smile was wiped from his face as Jinta looked up at him, a glint in his eyes. "I don't lose to the likes of you!" A single puff of smoke and a log left in Jinta's place revealed that the boy had made his escape.

Gīchi's eyes narrowed dangerously before he looked around. Not knowing where your opponent was coming from was extremely dangerous. Damn…he was low on chakra. He was extremely untrained in using chakra strings, and when he used it through the ground _and_ through his toes, _and_ he didn't know how to keep it up without using too much chakra, his stamina went down drastically.

Jinta, hidden underground, was going through a similar train of thought. Keeping the illusion up on the kawarimi to make it look and talk like him was exceedingly draining. Contrary to popular belief, Jinta was very, very good at using genjutsu. But…it had taken ages for him to be able to get good enough control to even be able to use genjutsu in the first place. If Gīchi had only begun practicing a month ago, he'd probably be suffering from low chakra at the moment as well. If that was so…he'd only have one shot at this.

It took a few minutes and everyone in the stands were beginning to get impatient. Before they could begin to get too rowdy, however, Gīchi moved with lightning precision to his left – where he'd been standing before, the earth crumbled to reveal a gaping hole.

"You blatantly ripped off my trap!" he yelled. As soon as he did, however, two hands grabbed his ankles from belowground. "Doton: Double Suicide Decapitation Technique!" Gīchi was pulled belowground with only his head sticking out. Jinta stood in front of him and held a kunai to his neck. "I win."

"Winner: Jinta!" The last thing Jinta heard before fainting from chakra exhaustion was the crowd cheering wildly.

Up in the stands, Fū and Naruto were cheering. "That was awesome, dattebayo!" Naruto crowed. "Did you see how totally awesome that was? He was all like 'pow' and then he was all like 'no, you got me' and then –,"

"Yeah! Jinta kicked that butt-head's butt! Oh, quiet, 'Kā-chan's going next!"

What happened next was something no one had ever imagined.

Kuro faced her opponent, a muscular, dark-skinned man from Kumo. Baki stood between them. "Yamada Tarō versus Yin Kuro Tsukiakari: Hajime." And he jumped away. Kuro faced her adversary with a smile. Soon the smile turned deadly. "You…" she hissed, pointing a finger at him dramatically. "I can't believe you!"

Tarō looked at her in confusion. "Huh?" he asked eloquently. Tears pricked at the corners of Kuro's eyes. "How could you do this to me, Tarō-kun? I…I thought we…had something _special_." Now Tarō was _really_ confused. Kuro seemed to come to a decision. "If I can't have you," she said decisively, "then no one else can!" With that, she tore a frying pan out of a scroll, and while her opponent still stood around in confusion, ran straight at him. "YAAAH!"

Just before she reached him, however, she puffed out of existence and he felt a cold blade touching his jugular. Several more of Kuro blinked into existence, all holding weapons to vital parts of his body.

Then she neatly sliced over his jugular vein.

As medics rushed onto the field and Baki declared the winner, Kuro absent-mindedly licked the blood off her blade and meandered over to one of the medics. "He'll be okay; it's just a shallow wound. He's only in danger if his blood pressure goes up." With those parting words, the brunette walked back up to the competitors' box, where her Bay Cat, Utakata, and Tarantu were all waiting.

As Maiko and her opponent fought it out below, Tarantu leveled a glare at her friend. "Was that really necessary?" she snapped. "You already had him!" Kuro looked at her friend with empty eyes. "I only gave him a shallow wound. He was only in danger if his blood pressure went up and opened up the vein even more," she repeated calmly. "Had I not disabled him then, he'd have definitely muscled his way through my clones and we'd have had to fight more." Her eyes softened and she gave her sister a hug. "I'm sorry I can't say more about this right now, but I promise I'll tell you everything later."

Tarantu looked at Kuro in confusion. "Kuro…?" Kuro shook her head and they both went quiet. Utakata refrained from congratulating Kuro on her victory. It seemed wrong, somehow.

Kuro leaned against the wall, not even looking at the Kumo-nin below. Instead, her eyes were closed and she was thinking. Why was her 'nē-chan so angry at her? It made perfect sense to her to do what she did – taking him out that way had a low probability of death, and it was quick. Getting mad over it for no reason was…well, illogical!

Death had no affect on her whatsoever. She guessed it had started with those shock videos on the internet that she'd seen when she was fifteen – from the torture in Ukraine to the beheading in southeast Asia, she'd quickly become immune to it. She'd never seen it in person, but the apathy would give her an edge when she did need to make her first kill.

Ever since she could remember, there'd been a voice in her head telling her to do things – scary things. The first time she could remember it was when she was in kindergarten, and she had this vision in her head of her rushing out the door, finding a cliff somewhere, and jumping to her death. She'd turned it over in her mind, seriously considering it, as the scene played over and over again. The little nagging feeling was in the forefront of her mind. It was almost like gathering her strength to jump off the high dive – it's okay, all you need to do is step off. Just one step and you'll have done it. You have the courage to just take one small step, don't you?

And that was what it boiled down to – one small step – because if she took one step, she'd invariably take the rest. That was how her mind worked.

And things like that still happened all the time.

Even then, that little urge had been whispering to her. It's okay, all you need to do is press the kunai to his neck – see? It's not so hard. Just press the kunai to his neck, and that'll be it. The scary part wasn't that she had these thoughts – no, they'd been with her for her entire life – but the fact that she wanted to go through with them. Only that little shred of human emotion and morality kept her afloat.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Kuro slowly slid down the wall until she was seated. Dimly, she heard someone shaking her. Looking up, she saw the face of her sister. Suddenly Kuro felt calmer, more relaxed – her mind cleared of all negative thoughts. It was like a breath of fresh air after traveling through smog.

"– so wish me luck, okay?" Kuro nodded, smiling. Tarantu smiled back at her before leaving to go down to her match – taking with her the clear head she'd given Kuro. As the calmness left her, as Tarantu walked away, her smile faded. Desperately, she floundered around a bit, trying to find the calmness Tarantu had taken with her.

There – she found it!

Finding that tiny bit of positive energy Tarantu had left, Kuro grabbed onto it, her will forcing the particle of happiness to stay. And stay it did. She followed it until she was looking down at the arena where Tarantu faced off against her opponent, a Kiri-nin. Kuro smiled. Now that she was looking at Tarantu again, the calm feeling returned, though only at about half-power considering their distance from one another.

Down in the arena, Tarantu spared a glance at her friend. Good. Now that Kuro was looking at her, she could find it within herself to fight.

"Yōsabaku no Tarantu versus Taka Raiden: Hajime!"

Tarantu immediately took a defensive Crane stance, waiting for Raiden to run up to her. She didn't have to wait long. Raiden (which was actually a boys' name, now that she thought about it), immediately went on the offensive, taking out a sword (why hadn't she noticed that before?) and beginning to slash at her with it.

Now, due to Kuro's running from an angry Zabuza and knocking into her, causing him to focus his attention of the both of them as he swung his big-ass sword, Tarantu was pretty damn good at dodging swords – especially if they were smaller and wielded by average swordsmen…or women.

So Tarantu began to gracefully dodge the amateur sword strikes, keeping silent as she began to build up chakra. Suddenly she bit her cheek, wiped some of the blood from the cut onto her thumb, and ran through several hand seals. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Jō!" A jō staff blinked into existence in front of her and she swiped it out of the air, and, dodging another one of Raiden's sword strikes, skillfully twirled her jō towards her opponent's throat.

Raiden dodged this and swung at Tarantu again, who blocked it with her jō before using the momentum from the strike to aim a roundhouse kick at her head. It didn't hit, as Raiden dodged once more, but it clipped the side of her nose, the chakra-powered kick sending her flying.

She maneuvered herself so that she was able to push off the wall after crashing into it, leaping off with some chakra enhancement – and a twinge of pain. She'd probably fractured something in her leg; that was a hard landing.

But Raiden pushed off anyway, ignoring the twinge of pain because that was what she did, leaping towards her opponent with her katana held high. Tarantu blocked her strike, using her superior strength to push the sword away before kicking her opponent once more.

Raiden lay there for a moment, taking deep, gasping breaths before shakily standing. "You…bitch!" she hissed. "I'm going to kill you!" Tarantu simply stared at her unflinchingly, saying nothing. This, sadly, seemed to aggravate her more, and she, realizing it probably wasn't such a good idea to use close combat with Tarantu, decided to go through several hand signs. "Kirigakure no Jutsu."

Tarantu rolled her eyes, but then began to flash through several hand seals of her own.

"Fūton: Great Breakthrough!" And with that simple technique, loaded with just the right amount of chakra, all the mist was blown away. Tarantu spared a glance at Kuro, who gave her a thumbs-up and a grin, which she returned. Raiden, however, wasn't so easily ignored. "Damn you!" she yelled, going through more hand signs. She couldn't use any more water-based jutsu, having exhausted her entire water supply with that last technique, but she wasn't completely helpless.

"Raiton: Electric Gloves!" Raiden's hands erupted in a crackling electrical field that ran up and down the length of her arms. She then began to run at Tarantu, who took out a scroll, wiped some blood on it, and faced it towards her opponent, launching ten or so water balloons at her.

They burst open as Raiden batted them away, soaking her completely and turning her own jutsu on her – magnified.

Raiden screamed in pain before collapsing, her body wracked with spasms. Baki announced the winner even as the medics arrived to treat Raiden.

Surprisingly, Tarantu realized that she wasn't as horrified at her actions as she should have been. She strode up to the competitors' box and was congratulated by Kuro and Utakata, but she barely heard them. Instead, she concentrated on the calm feeling being near Kuro brought her. Before, she'd been completely upset about fighting anyone – or even training or stepping on something by accident. She'd begun to limit the types of foods she ate so that she wouldn't even be eating full plants – only its fruit.

She knew that something was wrong – she'd lost weight from stress and lack of nutrition, and began seeing sin everywhere, even in her own children. She wanted to wipe away that sin – even if it wasn't really there.

But now that she was near Kuro again, her mind cleared – it had cleared even more when she'd touched her. To be able to find it in her to fight, even to be able to think clearly, required her to be with her little sister.

Perhaps this whole 'two different villages' thing wasn't going to work out after all.

* * *

Due to injuries and chakra exhaustion, the next part of the fights was to continue the next day.

Kuro and Tarantu ended up at the hotel, where they explained their experiences with each other – from the voices in Kuro's head to the urge to 'cleanse' sin from the earth. They sat in silence, just holding each other after that revelation, until Kuro spoke.

"This isn't going to work out." It was whispered, but because of their proximity to one another and Tarantu's advanced hearing, it was heard anyway.

"What isn't going to work out?"

"This whole…setup. We can't work without each other. If we need to be near each other at all times, how are we going to deal with being in two different villages? And even if we're in the same village, what happens when one of us needs to go on a mission? This won't work out."

"It appears," a new voice said quietly, "that you've realized the issue between your clans." Tarantu and Kuro's heads snapped around to see a tall, slim figure standing in the window, illuminated by the waxing moon. The figure hopped into the room to reveal its identity.

"Sara?" Sara nodded. "Your clans, despite their hate for each other, needed to work together to survive. Contrary to normal human behavior, they chose hate over survival, so they went insane; every last one. The Hidden Villages at that time banded together to eliminate them all."

There was silence as this struck the two surviving members of said clans.

"Why did they need to work together?" Tarantu asked softly. "Why does this happen?"

"The YinYang symbol, in Chinese mythos, arises from nothingness and fall back into nothingness in an endless cycle, swirling together for all time," Sara recited. "But that's just it – together. You can't have Yin without Yang, and you can't have Yang without Yin. To separate them is to break the universe itself apart. If you put only one of them into something, it won't work – at all. That's why there are the Yin _and_ Yang clans. You were meant to work together in perfect harmony, just like the true YinYang symbol. But your clans didn't. The separation is what caused the insanity."

Kuro found her sister's hand and gripped it tightly. She already knew she was insane, but to be _actually_ insane…

They needed to talk to their Kage.

* * *

Utakata versus Jinta

Kuro versus Maiko

A male Kumo-nin versus Tarantu

The matchups for that day were sure to be exciting – Utakata hadn't truly shown his powers as of yet, and people liked Jinta's spunk. Kuro…amused them, but they were also a bit put off by her kunai slice the day before, although they did like Maiko, who was very feminine and looked like she danced with her fighting fans. The Kumo-nin was extremely talented, and people were eager for a fight between him and Tarantu and her bag of tricks.

In the stands where they were the day before was the Family. Fū and Naruto sat in the same seat once again, and couldn't sit still for excitement. "Mu…first up is Uta 'nī-chan against that Jinta guy," she told Naruto. "Uta 'nī-chan's gonna kick his butt, of course, but he knows enough to give us a good fight and draw it out."

"Then how come he didn't draw it out for his first fight?" Fū seemed to think for a minute before looking down at her big brother. "Uta 'nī-chan…used to be a Kiri-nin. He left because people hated him… Kinda like us. So he doesn't like people from Kiri very much." Naruto's pout deepened, but he stayed quiet.

Baki stood between Jinta and Utakata as he reminded them of the rules. "Utakata versus Jinta: Hajime!" Utakata waited patiently, allowing Jinta the first move. Jinta seemed to think a moment before beginning to run through hand signs. "Katon: Mist Covering Technique." A fine gas began to spew from his mouth. When it had sufficiently covered the battlefield, Jinta then lit a match.

"Boom." The entire arena burst into flames.

When the flames died down, both Baki and Jinta popped out of the ground to see a human-shaped…thing where Utakata had been. It began to splinter and crack, and soon a completely unharmed Utakata stepped out. "Slug Style: Mucus Shell," he explained calmly, turning his gaze to Jinta. Taking his bubble-blower to his lips, he began to fire them out at a rapid pace, all shooting towards or around Jinta.

"W-whoa!" he cried out, dodging the bubbles as he didn't know what they did – only that it probably wasn't a good idea to touch them. He wasn't prepared for them to explode.

The explosions from the bubbles were small, but they set off a chain reaction, bouncing him off other bubbles and making them explode, too, until they were all gone and he lay on the ground. He slowly began to pull himself up, covered in scrapes, bruises, and mild burns, but – as some people noticed – nothing that would impede his movement too much. Had he wanted to, Utakata could've killed Jinta with that attack, but he didn't – to give people a good show.

Panting, Jinta began to throw kunai and shuriken at Utakata, setting off some traps he'd laid down when he was underground. While Utakata was otherwise distracted, he began to go through hand signs once more. "Thirst," he muttered under his breath. "Demonic Illusion: Heated Soul. River Sounds." As the triple genjutsu hit, Utakata's eyes widened. A sudden, burning thirst had overtaken him, along with a blazing heat that didn't seem to want to go out. The dual sensation of being parched while simultaneously sweating out the water he did have was exceedingly distracting.

There! There was a river to his left; he could hear it. He continued to dodge Jinta's thrown weapons, edging closer and closer to the sound of the river. That was when he got caught in a trap.

With a loud exclamation, Utakata jumped away, just barely missing the trap throwing dozens of shuriken at him – all poisoned, he noted. 'Genjutsu,' he realized. He quickly dispelled it, and his body was back to normal. Taking a deep breath, Utakata turned to look at Jinta approvingly.

"That was very stealthy of you, Jinta-kun," he said. "I admit you nearly had me there. Your skills are highly impressive." Utakata smirked. "However, do not think that you are going to get me to fall into the same trap twice." With that, he finally went on the offensive, running towards him and channeling chakra to his fists. The slug style actually did not involve going towards the opponent, but in this case, Utakata felt that it was justified.

Even so, since he didn't have much practice at all actually going towards someone and actively fighting them, that way, he didn't do it well at all. Jinta kept easily dodging his strikes, as though he already knew where they were going to be. At least Jinta's strikes seemed to miss as well, so that was something.

It kept going like this for a few moments until Utakata noticed something strange – whenever he punched with his left hand, Utakata would easily dodge, but when he punched with his right hand, he had to dodge by a wider margin, and every so often he felt as though he clipped something that wasn't there. But the real clue was when he suddenly switched to kicking. He kicked Jinta's right leg – and it passed through.

'Another genjutsu?' he thought in shock. Utakata leapt back and dispelled this illusion as well. The world suddenly shifted slightly to the right. He looked up at Jinta, who smirked at him. "Demonic Illusion: Sly Fellow Mind Technique," he explained smugly, "combined with Demonic Illusion: Double False Illusion Technique. When you broke out of the earlier illusions, you neglected to check for more illusions afterwards – I layered another illusion on top of the first one that you didn't detect until now."

Utakata looked very impressed. "That was good," he said, feeling slightly woozy. Looking down at himself, he frowned. Bruises and cuts dotted his skin. But he hadn't felt anything…

Ah, yes. Yet another genjutsu.

He dispelled the third genjutsu and suddenly pain shot through his body. As he struggled to understand this new development, Jinta took it upon himself to explain. "Invincibility," he said. "It's a genjutsu that makes you feel like you're not hurt or tired at all. I couldn't have you notice that something was wrong when I used the Sly Fellow Mind Technique – if you felt pain in an area that you hadn't seen me hit you, that'd have been a dead giveaway. So I layered yet another genjutsu on top of that."

Utakata began to chuckle softly. "You truly are a model shinobi, Jinta-kun," he said with a smile. "Layering illusion upon illusion upon illusion and so on is the perfect example of what a ninja should be. Whomever taught you should be proud to have such an amazing student."

Jinta flushed at the praise, but quickly shook the thought away. He needed to keep a clear head for this.

"Thank you," he said happily. "Please continue." Utakata's smile widened. "However, you seem to be under the impression that you have the upper hand." Cold steel touched Jinta's neck, and Utakata melted away into a pile of goo. The same smooth voice – almost like melted dark chocolate – spoke up from behind him. "You were fighting a Mucus Clone the entire time."

Jinta stared at the pile of goo – mucus, he corrected himself dazedly – in shock. All of his plans had gone down the drain in that one action. Everything he'd been planning, everything, all his hopes of becoming a chūnin disappeared in the blink of an eye. "When?" was all he managed to croak out of his suddenly choked up voice.

"When you ignited the fire in the beginning of the match."

Tears collected in the corners of Jinta's eyes at this. All this time…?

"Winner: Utakata." Everyone in the stands cheered.

"I have one question for you though," Utakata added as he stepped away from Jinta. "How come you ran out of chakra against Gīchi-san yesterday, yet you had so much today?" In a deadened voice, Jinta answered. "Gīchi is my best friend," he said. "Ever since we were little, we were the best of friends. He and I decided who would win a month ago, and we set it up so that we'd look weaker than we really are."

There were a couple of gasps from the spectators at this. Utakata simply looked at Jinta. "You truly are," he said, "a master of illusions."

This made Jinta feel the tiniest bit better.

* * *

The next fight was Kuro versus Maiko.

Up in the stands, Fū and Naruto were practically vibrating with excitement. "Yeah! Mommy's gonna fight again!" Fū cheered. Naruto grinned as well. "Finally! She got that last guy good, but it was way too fast! That Suna-nin's not going down so easy, especially since they're actually trying to draw out the fights now."

"Yin Kuro Tsukiakari versus Maiko: Hajime." Baki jumped back as Maiko immediately sent a wind attack at Kuro, dual-wielding hand-held fans. Kuro used her own wind nature to see and deflect the sharp wind strikes to either side of her, acting like a wedge. Deep gouges carved up the earth around her.

Maiko smirked. "Oh, you're a wind user, too? This'll be fun, then."

Kuro cocked a brow. Then she began to rant. "What is it with people wanting to fight others with the same attacks? Is it because you like to fight pointlessly? What's the point of fighting fire with fire when you can use water to put the fire out and come out unscathed?"

Maiko stared at her, a light flush covering her cheeks. She'd…actually never thought of it that way. "Indulge me," she said finally. Kuro shrugged and tossed a flat, spinning metal hoop at her. It flew at her quite quickly and lightly, almost as though it was a part of the wind itself. She attempted to deflect it with a sweep from her fan, but it hardly budged from its course.

Seeing as how her wind jutsu wasn't working, Maiko was just barely able to dodge it. The hoop imbedded itself in the wall. "This," she said with a grin, "is a chakram. It's aerodynamic, so wind won't put it too much off course. But you probably already figured that out, didn't you?"

Maiko ground her teeth together. "I thought we were going to use wind chakra!" Kuro blinked owlishly at her. "You do understand," she said slowly, "that ninja rely on deception and I didn't care to, as your opponent and not your friend, cater to your wishes. I didn't feel the need to see who was better at using wind chakra because it would be illogical to do so. These aren't friendly spars, Maiko-san. Our promotions depend on the decisions we make here – basically, our futures are decided by people who carefully analyze our every move. I would be glad to spar with you in a more acceptable environment to test each other's elemental efficiency, but right now the deal is to amuse people while simultaneously trying to act in a way that doesn't turn off the people who are going to promote us.

"In effect, fighting wind with wind would cost precious chakra, since using the same element is self-defeating. And one of us is most likely going to need to fight later, so the best idea would be to conserve our energy by fighting smartly while also giving the spectators a good show, thereby increasing our chances of becoming chūnin," she finished.

Up in the Kage booth, Zabuza nodded approvingly. "Kuro's got this entire thing down," he said. "She really understands what it means to be a ninja. You've got quite the kunoichi under your command, Hokage-dono."

Hiruzen smiled. "Why thank you, Mizukage-dono," he said with a chuckle. "Although I thought I was used to surprises and sarcasm from Sara, a friend of mine, Kuro still never ceases to amuse and surprise me."

Zabuza froze. "You…know Sara, too?" he asked, staring at Hiruzen. Hiruzen looked at him, surprise evident in his eyes. The Raikage, A, spoke up. "I know her, too," he said. "And may I say that she's the most terrifying thing in this universe."

The three Kage shivered.

Below, Maiko's eyes narrowed. "Tch…" She got into one of her fighting stances, attempting to go over the jutsu she had in her arsenal that weren't wind-based. Unfortunately, she could only think of a few. Suddenly, she was hit by how narrow her chosen field really was. She was really a one-trick pony. She really needed to rectify that, and soon. Perhaps learning a few earth-based ninjutsu might do the trick…

But for now, it looked as though she'd need to rely on taijutsu and/or trickery. Maiko smirked. She could so do that.

Maiko quickly put her hands in the 'tiger' hand seal. "Activate!" she yelled. Now that Kuro didn't have her chakram, Maiko figured that she could attack without worrying about the weapon.

She was wrong.

She activated the seal on her fan, sending dozens upon dozens of senbon needles flying towards Kuro. Unfortunately, since her eyes were focused on Kuro and not on Kuro's chakram, she didn't notice that it was still in play until it dug deep into her back, right between two of her lower ribs and just missing some very _vital_ organs. Crying out in pain, she tore the hoop out of her back and glared at it, noticing for the first time the intricate designs engraved onto its surface.

"Oh," Kuro said innocently. "Did I forget to mention that I have more tricks up my sleeve? So sorry, I truly do have quite a terrible memory." Maiko glared at her, pushing chakra to her wound in hopes that it would heal. "These seals…" she panted. "What do…they do?"

"Why should I tell you?" she asked. "If I do, you'll just figure out a way to counter it, and if you already figured it out, I don't see the point in telling you. I may be a bit of a showoff – actually, a lot of a showoff – but I'm not _completely_ stupid."

Maiko looked at the chakram for another moment before taking her other fan, closing it, and beginning to mercilessly beat the ever-living crap out of the metal hoop until it was bent out of shape and utterly useless.

Kuro's eyes shone and she laughed – she _laughed!_ – before the chakram began to roll towards her. She picked it up and looked at it in amusement. "I admit, I wasn't expecting that. You effectively took out my weapon without knowing much about it other than that it was dangerous and had special powers.

"Now that it's useless – though I guess I can still work the metal – I can tell you that the 'designs' on my chakram were actually heavily modified directional seals. By activating them from a distance, I could change its direction. The best part about it is that the seals stay in the same place – north, south, east, or west – no matter how you move it, so that I could still keep it going no matter how it spins. It's a great compass, too."

Maiko's eyes widened, as did those of most everyone else who heard this proclamation. Sealing was an incredibly difficult art, and to be able to not only work with them but also create new uses for them and merging existing ones together was a skill that got increasingly rarer as the years went by.

"You, Hokage-dono," A said, his eyes fixed upon Kuro, "are one lucky man."

Kuro was a bit flustered at the attention she was receiving – it was a bit like being on stage, except now she could see, with perfect clarity ever since she unlocked her hanyō side, every single pair of eyes on her (something about the demonic chakra – yōkai – changing her genetic structure to change the shape of her eyes so that they were perfectly spherical, plus reinforcing them with yōkai and therefore giving her perfect vision).

Maiko shook her head clear and regarded Kuro with an appraising glance. "You're quite multitalented," she commented. Kuro shrugged. "I've always been good at a wide range of things, and being a ninja allows be to put them to full use," she explained off-handedly. "Still can't cook or bake, though, but that's probably because I'm an extremely picky eater, so I don't exactly eat what I bake and therefore I can't make it better. Food's never been a big part of my life. I usually need someone to remind me to eat. I'm working on it, though."

Maiko's eye twitched. "So you wouldn't take the time to explain to me what the seals on your…thing…did when I first asked, but you ramble on about something completely stupid?" Kuro flushed a bit and rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah, that's another problem of mine. Either I'm absolutely quiet and don't say a word, or I ramble on about things even though I've clearly made my point and I'm not talking about anything relevant. Today seems to be one of my chatty days, huh?"

The blonde sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Forget it; let's keep fighting."

Kuro simply grinned, getting down on all fours in her Wolf taijutsu stance while simultaneously creating half a dozen shadow clones to aid her, neglecting to use hand signs and therefore drawing more interest to herself. Maiko smirked back at her.

"Let's go, girlfriend," Kuro taunted.

The two flew at each other and began to trade blow after blow. Maiko's graceful dance was almost poetically offset by Kuro's animalistic rough and tumble style – even so, neither had too many noticeably unnecessary movements in their attacks, dodges, and defenses. Every movement had a reason, and Maiko used all her useable resources to deflect the seven Kuro – six clones, one real. One was punched in the face while another was taken out by a back-kick that hit her smack-dab in the middle of the face – simultaneously.

It didn't take too long for Kuro's clones to be completely wiped out – she'd never tried using them in a real fight before, anyway, so it was natural that they wouldn't hold up without the practice, anyway. However, she was able to get a few good hits in before her clones dispersed in a nearly unnoticeable cloud of smoke. Leaping back and licking at a wound on her right arm, she stood up straight, grinned at Maiko, and stomped her right foot three times on the ground.

From seemingly out of nowhere, an auburn-colored feline blinked into existence in midair and leapt to Kuro's side. The cat was maybe three kilograms in weight, and perhaps about five hundred millimeters in length, plus a tail that was almost as long as it was. It had lime-green eyes with slit pupils a slightly different, almost more neon-green shade. Underneath the tail – which was thicker than normal and oddly…pear-shaped (or was that just the fur)? – was a white stripe that continued to the white-furred underbelly.

It had slightly rounded ears and two darker chestnut stripes that ran parallel to each other from the inner corner of its eyes to the back of its head, while the top of its snout also had the same color in a strange diamond-shape, the widest part of the diamond on the same plane that its eyes were. It also had two stripes, almost reminiscent of whiskers, of the same darker chestnut color, on its cheeks. It had white whiskers.

"This," Kuro said proudly, "is my partner. She's a Bay Cat." Maiko looked warily at the creature. "What's its name?"

"_She_ doesn't have a name," Kuro said, emphasizing her gender. "I don't put labels on my friends unless I don't see any other way of going about things." Her opponent twitched slightly. That actually made more sense than most of her other actions, but it still made very little sense, if any, which said something about Kuro's earlier proceedings.

Maiko sighed. There really was no limit to her big bag o' tricks, was there? Intent on finally finishing her fight, she began to run towards Kuro, picking up the fan she'd dropped so had both of them again and charging them with wind chakra before throwing them, spinning quickly, at Kuro before flashing through hand signs at high speeds. "Fūton: Wind Gale!" The open fans began to fly even faster through the air by using the energy from this supplementary technique. The Bay Cat was able to barely dodge the fan thrown at her, but Kuro was too slow and got clipped on her left cheek, which broke her jaw with a loud cracking noise.

Kuro flinched in pain, just barely missing Maiko's next wind attack which gave her a cut on her right shoulder and rendering that arm numb, though not completely useless. Jumping back and continuing to dodge Maiko's suddenly vicious attacks, she gave her wounds a chance to heal. This took maybe five minutes thanks to the yōkai that flowed through her system, at which point she went on the offensive, attacking in tandem with her partner. This shocked Maiko enough that the Bay Cat was able to sink her claws into the wound in her back that she'd gotten from the chakram in the beginning of the fight and ripping it open again.

Maiko shrieked in pain, falling to her knees as she frantically tried to stop the bleeding with her hands. Kuro and her partner immediately backed off as Baki called the fight in Kuro's favor so that the medics could rush onto the field for her wounded opponent.

Tarantu, however, beat them there and began to pump healing chakra into her temporary teammate, concentrating solely on the wound. It was completely non-lethal by the time the medics got there.

* * *

Semi-Finals: Tarantu versus a male Kumo-nin

Since Tarantu was already on the field having just healed Maiko, only her opponent needed to come down. The medics had already known of Tarantu's medical prowess, so they weren't as shocked as they normally would be. Even so, they were still a bit awed.

Tarantu marched over to Kuro and put her hands on her hips. "Did you _need_ to injure her that badly?" Kuro pouted. "Technically, I didn't do it," she said in her defense. Her Bay Cat looked mildly betrayed at this, but Tarantu spared her naught a glance.

"_You are fully responsible for this, Yin Kuro Tsukiakari!_" she hissed, making her friend curl in on herself just the slightest bit. "It was a fight!" she whined. "I kinda had no _choice_ but to injure her in some way or another! And normal internal injuries would've been much more life-threatening! I did her a favor by giving her a wound that was easy to heal compared to most others I could've done! Remember what happened with –"

"Yes, yes, I remember," she said before smiling. "Just get up to the box; don't get too comfortable, though." Kuro looked curious at this, but shrugged and acquiesced. Her Bay Cat slunk after her.

Tarantu's opponent had finally gotten down the stairs at this point, and though people were ready for this fight, a part of their minds still lingered on Kuro's abilities. Tarantu knew this – and she also knew that she was going to be thought about, too.

* * *

**A/N: I'm a terrible person to cut this off right here, aren't I? Snerk. Especially after having been gone for so long. My update schedule's been shot to hell, huh? Heehee, I've always wanted to be able to say that!**


	13. Plot! Finally!

**Made of Fail**

* * *

_Chapter Eleven  
Plot! Finally!_

Life was great in Suna as a chūnin, Tarantu decided. She'd just gotten a mission – her first C-ranked as a team leader – and she was standing at the gates with her team and clients. Her clients were a young woman named Akemi with long black hair and eyes, golden skin, and a slim figure, and her father Shūkurō, a leathery old man with grey hair and black eyes. The old man was a merchant and her daughter his apprentice – they'd come to Suna to sell their wares, and now they were ready to travel to another city in the desert, a day's journey away.

Tarantu's teammates for the expedition were two twins named Haruhi and Hikaru. They both had short, messy brown hair and lazy silver eyes with olive skin. They were known for their excellent teamwork, but unfortunately only worked well together. If they were separated, they were pretty useless – they were working on being self-sufficient, but for the moment they were only allowed on low-ranked missions.

Shūkurō and Akemi owned several camels that carried their merchandise from village to village. They were laden with all sorts of colorful knickknacks, pots and kettles, dolls and beads, even some simple instruments. Tarantu wanted to look at them, but she tore her gaze away from the baubles and trinkets to instruct Haruhi and Hikaru onto two camels with nothing on their backs. Tarantu herself would walk next to the caravan, she decided as she watched the camel kneel and accept both boys onto its back before Shūkurō tugged at its reins to get it to rise.

As soon as the clients were aboard their own camels (Akemi between Haruhi and Hikaru, and Shūkurō leading the procession with Tarantu walking beside him), the convoy began to move.

* * *

Zabuza scowled as he sat at his desk, glaring at the pile of paperwork in front of him as though attempting to set it aflame with his gaze. He didn't even look up when the door opened and someone walked in – Suigetsu, from the sounds of it.

"Hey, Mizukage-sama," Suigetsu chirped cheekily. Zabuza grunted. He loved being called Mizukage-sama by the populace, but when Suigetsu, Kisame, or Chōjūrō called him that, it aggravated him. Asshole knew it, too – he was just being an annoying brat.

"Oi, Zabuza, you're not going to get that paperwork done if you just keep glaring at it." At this, Zabuza's lower right eyelid twitched before he grabbed his Kubikiribōchō and jumped onto his desk, scattering the papers around the room. Suigetsu darted out of the room just before the sword crashed through the wall behind where his head had been. It jutted out of the other side, stuck between two rooms.

Chōjūrō, who had been on his way to the Mizukage's office to deliver papers, let out a long-suffering sigh before shifting the paperwork to his right arm and pressing a button on his transceiver. "Kirin, send s-someone up to clean up – M-Mizukage-sama made a m-mess…again."

* * *

Tarantu adjusted the scrolls on her belt underneath her white poncho. It had been hours since they'd started their trek, and although she and her team stayed cool by using their chakra to expel the heat from their bodies (which saved water, too, since then they had no need to sweat) their clients were tired and sweaty. She frowned. They should've begun their journey at night, and rested during the day – the moon and stars were terrific navigational tools, anyway – but the thought hadn't crossed her mind.

She'd just have to keep that in mind for next time.

Instead, Tarantu decided to get their permission to push her chakra into them to keep them cool – they agreed and, with renewed vigor, they continued onwards. Hikaru and Haruhi, while simultaneously keeping a lookout for danger, engaged in conversation with Akemi, who was in between them (they were in a single file line). Tarantu and Shūkurō quietly talked as well – the elderly man found Tarantu charming, and happily answered her questions about his job.

It was halfway through their journey, when the sun was at its zenith, that something Very Bad happened.

Tarantu continued happily conversing with the old man, when a speck in the distance appeared. Tarantu thought it likely to be a mirage, but quickly disposed of the thought when she noticed its growing bigger at an alarming rate. As soon as she could discern that they had a human shape, she turned to face the twins and motioned them to prepare for a possible confrontation. The two hopped from their camels and quickly grouped all the animals together, positioning themselves at either side of Tarantu.

They quickly informed Shūkurō and Akemi of what was going on, and ushered them to the middle of the group of camels so that they formed a sort of wall around them. This all happened very quickly, but as soon as the two merchants were safe, the three Suna-nin found themselves standing in front of a team of foreign ANBU.

It was a tense faceoff on Tarantu's side. The twins had broken out into a cold sweat despite the heat, and Tarantu had tensed, eyes flickering between the three ANBU. Then one of them spoke.

"Yōsabaku no Tarantu, we wish to give you a message." Tarantu licked her suddenly dry lips and motioned for her team to stand down, which they did reluctantly. "Yes?"

"You have connections to a girl in Konoha – one Yin Tsukiakari. Give her this message: We will get back what's ours eventually."

* * *

Kuro, meanwhile, was happily making lunch for the Family – lunch was light, and usually consisted of fruit salad. Idly wondering what Tarantu was doing at the moment, she began to slice up some figs.

Naruto, Fū, and Lee were sitting at the table in the corner to Kuro's left – the one with art supplies. Naruto had gotten into drawing figures made of circles (a step up from drawing stick figures) doing ninja things – the winning ninja always had blond hair and blue eyes.

Of course, Kuro mused, there weren't any crayons that actually matched his coloring. His hair was the sort of blond that most people didn't keep past childhood, but in the shade it was a dull gold. His eyes were a rare sky blue, and when the sun shone in them, it almost looked like he had clouds in his eyes. He had always been quite beautiful. Of course, though, all her children were.

Naruto was furiously coloring in his picture, scribbling in blond spikes for hair and blue dots for eyes before moving on to the clothing – the character wore a white overcoat with flames at the bottom along with a green shirt and blue pants and shoes. He was throwing a yellow ball at another character. Next to him was another blond-haired, blue-eyed character, who wore an open orange vest with tassels along with black pants and shoes. This character was throwing kunai at other characters.

With a grin, Naruto sat back and looked at his creation. The Yondaime had always been his hero. Now he could fight beside him, if only in his imagination. Keeping the grin on his face, he carefully signed his name on the back and ran up to show Kuro.

"'Kā-chan, 'Kā-chan!" he yelled.

"Inside voice, Naru-chan." Naruto looked chagrined. "Sorry. Oh! But 'Kā-chan, look what I drawed!"

"It's 'drew' honey." Even so, Kuro put down her knife and squatted down to look at Naruto's picture. "Wow!" she exclaimed, looking at it intently. "That's really good, Naru-chan! Put it on my desk and we'll hang it up after lunch, okay?" Naruto nodded enthusiastically, a giant grin on his face, before happily walking over to Kuro's desk and placing his picture gently on it. He admired it for a few more long moments before his attention focused on another picture on the desk.

This picture had all sorts of cool shapes and swirls. He found himself drawn in by the squiggles and different sorts of lines – from long and graceful to short and violent, it seemed to almost tell a story. He found himself making up a story to go along with the lines, only to be yanked away from his thoughts with his mother's call of 'lunchtime!'

With a grin, Naruto joined the rush to wash hands in the river with Kuro's homemade lye soap before sitting on the grass for a lunchtime picnic. Ever since he'd begun eating meals with the Family he'd eaten slowly, savoring each bite – Kuro would accept nothing less. He also happily contributed to the conversation – he still had problems with letting other people talk, too, but he was working on it! Honest!

Out of all the fruits he'd ever eaten, Naruto had the most fun eating lemons – the sour taste made his mouth and throat sting so badly that his entire face seemed to squish in on itself while it made the rest of his body shiver violently. If only all fruits were that fun to eat!

Of course, though, he liked the taste of red apples and oranges the best – red apples because it was so completely different from the lemons he loved so much that when he ate them together it had a cool effect, and oranges because it was a perfect balance between the two.

Luckily, his fruit salad had all three mixed in, as well as green and red grapes, raspberries, blackberries, and pineapple. His salad was the only one with lemons, of course, since even though Fū found them fun to eat, too, she hated the taste – her salad had kiwi, mandarins, pineapple, cantaloupe, red grapes, blackberries, and watermelon. She liked kiwi and mandarins the best.

After they cleaned up from lunch, Kuro hung up Naruto's picture on the wall across from the kitchen and art table. He didn't notice her soft smile when she realized who, exactly, was in the picture. Instead, he decided to ask about the drawing he found on her desk.

Kuro laughed at this. "It's not a drawing, Naru-chan," she said, picking it up and showing it to him. "It's a seal. I'm working on a seal that splits the chakra in someone's body into equal parts – like when you pour water from one big glass into different same-sized cups – and seals it, so that it can be used as backup in a fight."

"Why?" Kuro put her seal down and looked at him with a smile. "You know how you have a lot of chakra? So much you don't know how to control it well? Well, I decided that if I could seal your chakra up into, say, nine parts, you'd be able to control it better and still have the same amount of chakra."

Naruto nodded to show he understood. "Does it work?" Kuro frowned. "No, not yet; I'll spare you the technical talk, but basically I can't get it to absorb chakra well. It can split it, but sealing it is a different thing. It's hard to seal chakra."

The young blond nodded again, and looked at the paper more closely, trying to make some sense of it. "What other kinds of seals are there?" Kuro's eyes lit up at this, and she reached into her bookcase to take out a small scroll.

"Seals," she began, opening the scroll, "can hold things inside them – if you put a seal on a piece of paper and seal an apple in it, the apple is in the seal itself, not the paper. It's interesting, because no one knows when the apple really goes, or where exactly things you store end up. There are also explosion seals, which you can use to set off a trap or slow down an enemy, but those are just the basic ones. There hasn't been a truly accomplished seal master since the Yondaime himself. I'm not as good as he was, but I have made a few useful seals." She handed him the scroll. "This is a beginners' scroll – if you like, I'll teach you."

Naruto looked enraptured by this. "The Yondaime used seals?" he exclaimed. Kuro laughed and nodded. "Yes; and you're the last of a clan of seal masters – you could say it's in your blood." Naruto's eyes grew wide. "You know about my family?" he whispered.

Kuro's eyes softened, and she nodded. "Yes," she said softly. "If you want, I can tell you about your clan, but now isn't the time. When you turn seven, I'll tell you about your mother." Naruto looked a bit put-out by this, but acquiesced, nonetheless.

"Can you at least tell me if I have any family left?" he asked softly. Kuro shook her head softly. "You're the last one, Naruto." Naruto quieted at this, but nodded.

"In that case, I'll just have to revive my clan, huh?" he said, a determined glint in his eye. Kuro laughed. "And when you're eight, I'll tell you exactly what you need to do in order for that to happen."

* * *

A day and a half later, Tarantu gave her mission report and dropped in to see the Kazekage to inform him of her team's encounter with the foreign ninja. She gave a description of their uniforms to her superior and he dismissed her. She bowed and left after promising not to breathe a word of what had happened – her teammates had already sworn to keep it a secret. Of course, she did need tell Kuro, and got permission to relay the message to her little sister.

She got home that evening and was immediately set upon by Tsubasa, the bird that got frostbite. He landed on her shoulder and nipped at her ear. "Hello, Tsubasa," she said with a smile. "How've you been?" The bird continued to sing and flew off her shoulder and up the stairs. Tarantu found Kankurō in the training room, working with his puppet – the only one he'd ever made. It had tubes running through it, mimicking a chakra circulatory system, so he could push jutsu through it. The puppet's movements were graceful, yet slow – Kankurō had to use all his concentration to use a jutsu with the puppet. At the moment he was attempting a low-level water jutsu.

In the other corner was Temari, who was practicing with her hand-held fans. Kuro had come to Suna last week and talked her into experimenting with seals on her fans – directional seals, storage seals set to let loose their contents after a set time once activated, et cetera – so Temari was training with that.

When Temari noticed her, she grinned. "Okā-san!" she exclaimed, putting away her fans and running over to her. Tarantu knelt down and gave her a hug. Kankurō, losing concentration after his big sister's exclamation, noticed Tarantu as well and ran to receive his hug.

"Hey, you two!" she said with a smile. "You guys look like you're working hard." Yashamaru, who'd been supervising their training, stepped forward. "Yes, they have," he said with a smile. Tarantu beamed at the three of them. "Great job, you two!" Then she looked around. "Where's your brother?"

Yashamaru answered again. "He's in a training field, working on using Shūkaku's power." Tarantu smiled. "Good for him!" she said. "I'm going to go see how he's doing, then I'm going to bed. It's been a long two days."

Gaara sat in the sand, meditating. He'd just asked the Shūkaku for some of his chakra – just the tiniest bit, really – and was trying to control it. The circles around his eyes had deepened and grown rougher, his nails sharpened into claws, and his canines lengthened into fangs. At the moment he was simply vibrating with energy.

Ooh, this was so hard! He _needed_ to move around, he just _needed_ to move! Getting up on all fours, Gaara shook himself off and began to run around the training field. It felt good to run…

He caught sight of a woman – his mother – and ran towards her to engulf her in a hug. As soon as he touched her, however, all of the yōkai running through him seemed to drain off and he collapsed in her arms. Then he passed out.

He awoke to find himself in his room, early morning sunlight streaming through his windows. Waking quickly, as usual, and getting out of bed before getting dressed, Gaara went through his morning routine and quickly went to find his mother. He found her in her room, getting ready for the day. "Okā-san!" he called, hopping up to her and giving her a hug. "What happened…yesterday?"

Tarantu smiled. "Well," she mused. "Remember the kekkei genkai I have?" Gaara nodded. "Okay, so what happens is that my yōkai is mixed in with my chakra, and since my yōkai is so pure, it burns away any bijū's yōkai. When you ran out of yōkai after touching me, you passed out."

Gaara nodded again, thoughtfully. "That's useful," he said. "If you ever get into a fight with another jinchūriki, you'd win really easily!" Tarantu laughed and smiled, ruffling Gaara's hair. "As long as I can hit them, yes," she agreed. "Anyway, I'm proud of you, Gaara. Learning to use Shūkaku's chakra like that, all by yourself… You're really brave!" Gaara blushed, but shook his head.

"I'm not doing it alone," he said. "I've got the other jinchūriki to help me. Sui," he gestured to his messenger bag, where the oversized beetle was napping, "is really good at contacting the other jinchūriki, and they're really helpful. Plus, Shūkaku's really nice once you get to know him. He's helping me the most, and getting me used to his chakra bit by bit, without making me angry!"

Tarantu's eyes softened and she kissed Gaara's seal gently. "You've got great friends, then," she said, a twinkle in her eye. "Be sure to thank Shūkaku for me." Gaara nodded happily, and they left the room.

Deep inside of Gaara's seal, the Ichibi awoke when he felt Tarantu's pure chakra and love enter the seal. He let his eyelids flutter closed as the calming chakra seemed to embrace him, wrapping itself around his form. He fell back asleep with one word to describe his feeling.

_Safe_.

* * *

Kuro paced back and forth in her tree, wringing her hands and fiddling with the hem of her t-shirt, picking at the top layer of skin on her lower lip with her teeth, and generally acting very, very stressed out. Anko stepped inside and caught sight of her.

"Kuro? What's wrong?" The brunette looked up at her with a look of horror in her eyes. "It's Taki," she whispered. "That damned village…" She leaned onto the wall, looking at the ground. "I adopted Fū from that damned place, and now they're going to use any means they can to get her back." Anko stared at her. "They sent me a message through 'Ran 'nē-chan. I'm so scared for her. I don't think she'll be able to take a step out of the village without Taki trying to steal her from me."

"Damn!" Anko hissed, hugging Kuro to her. The brunette in her arms began to sob hysterically, clutching at her tightly.

* * *

Fū stood up, her hands clenched into fists. "What!" she yelled angrily. "I was legally adopted!" Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed, taking another puff from his pipe. "We know, Fū," he said. "However, you were very valuable to them and they want to get you back."

Kuro stood and walked to her daughter to envelop her in a hug. "But aren't they scared of starting a war?" she asked the old man. He sighed once more and leaned back in his chest. "They're gambling on our wanting to stay peaceful and not fighting over one person being kidnapped."

"But she's not just one person," she said. "She's the adopted daughter of a Yin and a jinchūriki. I hate to say it, but just because we didn't fight against a large country after a failed kidnapping of a large clan right after a devastating war ended doesn't mean that we won't fight against a smaller, weaker country for a successful kidnapping of a jinchūriki. It's just not a logical thought process."

Hiruzen grunted noncommittally. "Logical or not, they're trying to get Fū and we can only keep her so protected. Inside these walls she should be safe, but outside of Konoha…" He sighed. "We can't take any chances." The tension drained out of Fū's body and she relaxed bonelessly into her mother's arms. Kuro sat down and pulled her daughter onto her lap. "You're too young for this to happen to you," Kuro whispered to her daughter.

Sara pushed herself off the wall on which she'd been leaning. "I've got something," she said, taking a scroll out of her bag and setting it on Hiruzen's desk. "This is a trans-dimensional portal – it'll take someone to Kuro and Tarantu's dimension." Kuro's head snapped up. "You mean you've had that all this time?" she said. "Dammit, Sara! I could've visited my family!" Sara shrugged. "I know, and I'm sorry. I just couldn't give it to you earlier."

"Because I was dependant on them and I needed to quit cold turkey," she grumbled. Sara laughed. "If you put it that way, then I'm a bitch. But this is more of a last resort. It was part of the agreement I made with the kami to take you here." Kuro nodded and hugged her daughter tighter.

Sara smiled. "We'll see if they can take Fū while we sort things out over here. We can't leave her there forever, but it'll help keep her safe."

* * *

Nearly the entire family was travelling to Kuro's home with them – Hiruzen agreed after being continuously prodded by Sara. Even Zabuza, Chōjūrō, and Suigetsu came from Kiri to visit Kuro's family (leaving Terumī Mei in charge). Sara held out a scroll – their mode of transportation. She hadn't told them how exactly it worked, but apparently it was something of a signed permission slip from the kami for the inter-dimensional travel they were about to do.

"All right," she said. "Time passes the same way in Kuro's home world as it does here, and due to the coordinates being switched around we'll probably end up somewhere in Hokkaido. Everyone ready?"

Everyone nodded and Sara opened the scroll – a blinding white light enveloped them all and they passed out.

* * *

Zabuza opened his eyes and blinked once, then twice. Then he sat up. "What the fuck?"

Well, now he knew for a fact that this wasn't a joke.

Kuro, who was cooking some venison over an open fire, chuckled. "It's a bit weird, yeah," she said. Weird was an understatement. The plants he could handle – it was just a bit naked on the edges and extremely shaded and odd-looking – but people were a completely different animal – uh, kingdom. The eyes were weird as hell – they were wet and closed around the edges with long, individual eyelashes, and the colors were different.

The noses were also weird, with different shading around it and more prominent nostrils, as well as dark shading around the sides at the bottom. The lips had weird lines running up and down them, and the shadows were just so weird! Even so, they still looked naked around the edges; as though there was something missing that separated them from the background.

He blinked and closed his eyes. "Fucking weird," he commented. Kuro grinned (he winced at the strangeness of the individual teeth) and handed him a portion of the venison. "Not to me," she replied. "It's my home."

Sara had brought more normal-looking clothes with them, and they all dressed up in relatively similar outfits. Anko was one of the exceptions – she wore the tatami sandals like everyone else, but she also wore black leggings and a long, red sleeveless shirt that tightened in a band around her thighs and collarbones. She looked especially feminine.

"All right," Sara said. "Since I've been here before, I'll be your tour guide. We're in Sapporo-shi right now, and we're going to have to get to America." Kuro raised her hand. She, like Anko, wore a different type of outfit. Unlike Anko, she looked more like an outdated tourist ready to take a hike. She went barefoot as usual, but with khaki shorts layered with pockets, a black fanny pack that sat slung over her pelvis, and a loose, flowery Hawaiian button-down. She had a bucket hat on her head, a camera around her neck, and a backpack hiked up over her shoulders.

"Question!" she piped up from the back. "'Tō-chan's got a friend, Honda-san, in Tokyo. He's my 'tō-chan's age, so he might not be alive anymore, but the last I heard, he lives in Tokyo. Couldn't we go there and ask around to try to find him?" Sara blinked. Then she shrugged. "Sure, why not?" She paused. "Kuro, how are we going to explain your partner?" Said Bay Cat was sitting stiffly next to Kuro.

Kuro opened her mouth to answer, paused with a look of confusion on her face, and closed it with a thoughtful expression. "She's an animal ambassador," she finally said. Everyone looked at her oddly but Sara, who grinned and hopped up and down, clapping her hands. "Ooh, that's such a good idea!" she squealed. Then the spastic moment was over and she led them west-south-west.

So they headed off – Sara rambled on and on about Sapporo – it was the birthplace of miso ramen, there's an alley lined with ramen restaurants called the Kōraku Ramen Meitengai, and there's a ramen-themed amusement park (Naruto went wild). It's also famed for seafood, there's a salmon museum in the Minami District (Minami-ku), skiing is a part of the school curriculum, and lilac was brought to Hokkaido in 1889 by Ms. Sarah Clara Smith, an American educator.

They mainly stuck to the trees in Japan's ample forests and remained relatively unseen until they reached the end of the south part of the island at the end of the first day. They had come up with different names for themselves to try to take people's curiosity from their similar appearance to certain manga characters. That would be another part of Sara and Kuro's job – to try to keep their attention away from anything related to Kishimoto Masashi's manga.

Naruto's new name was 'Toru', created by switching around the last two letters in his name, 'ru' and 'to'. Fū was Tachi, though her name came from a cultural reference – the kanji that made up Fū's name was for 'wind', and there's a legend of Kamaitachi, or 'sickle weasels', who are, most commonly, a trio of weasels with sharp claws that attack passersby by traveling on a gust of wind. Taking the last two katakana letters from 'Kamaitachi' gave Fū the name 'Tachi'.

Jūgo became 'Torimaru'. The 'Tori' part of his name came from his love of birds, as it was written with the kanji for 'bird'. 'Maru' was a common suffix attached to boys' names. Kimimaro became 'Chū', written with the kanji for 'loyal (to one's duty or master)', the reason for which needed no explanation. Haku became 'Shiro', as both names were written with the kanji for 'white'.

Zabuza became 'Rōnin', meaning 'samurai without a master'. It fit, since he wielded a big-ass broadsword and called no man 'master'. Suigetsu claimed the name 'Manmaru' in honor of his deceased elder brother, Mangetsu. Chōjūrō was given the name 'Hanatarō', since it was the name of another manga character that was just as shy and retiring as Chōjūrō.

Anko took the name 'Aiko', with the kanji for 'Ai' meaning 'love' and 'ko' being a popular feminine diminutive suffix. Rōshi became 'Yon', with the kanji for 'four', the reason for which should be obvious. Utakata became 'Roku' with the kanji for 'six' for the same reason as Rōshi, while Sara became 'Chikurin'.

It didn't take long at all to get to Tokyo, only a day and a half, and so far everything was going well. Everyone in the Family had done a henge to give themselves black hair and eyes, along with golden skin. Asking around got them to Honda-san's place at the end of the second day, and so it was with great trepidation that Kuro, having dispelled the jutsu, knocked on the man's door.

The door was opened by an elderly woman with grey hair, and Kuro, understanding more of the customs now (and being the only one who could say anything at that moment), bowed low. "Excuse me, obā-san," she said politely. "My name is Romi Greene, and a few years ago I was kidnapped from my home. I managed to get myself away, along with a few others, but I need to get to my family, and my tō-chan knows Honda-san. Does he still live here?"

The woman's eyes widened in alarm and she quickly ushered them inside. Honda-san, a man with a long face and a comb over that surprisingly didn't look ridiculous on him, looked up and stared in shock as he took in Kuro. "Romi-san?" he gasped.

Kuro bowed. "Honda ojī-san," she greeted. "I'm sorry for the intrusion, but is there any way I can contact my family?" Honda-san, usually a very composed and polite individual, nodded and immediately stood. A stony, determined expression made its home on his face on his face as he strode out of the room hurriedly and returning with a phone – Romi's family wasn't home, but he left a message on their answering machine.

"I really am sorry for the intrusion," Kuro said, bowing once more after he had finished, "and for bringing so many people to your home. We have a place to stay, but I needed to get in contact with my family, and you were the only person that came to mind." Honda-san politely waved off her apology and began to question her about her whereabouts.

Kuro, having already settled on a story, kept it simple by saying that she had amnesia of the event and only knew that she had been somewhere underground and wouldn't have been able to escape without the help of the others. They all agreed, though instead of the others feigning amnesia, they simply filled in a few bits and pieces – not enough to get anyone arrested, but enough to satisfy the Honda family.

Naruto, or 'Toru', happily began babbling away about how he'd never seen so many people in one place before – everything looked different and a bit weird; there were hulking metal things on wheels zooming down the roads; the buildings were weird and made of metal and glass; there was an oddly-shaped tower with red lights adorning it. The Honda couple, taking that to mean that he'd never seen civilization, became increasingly sober.

Honda-san's wife served them all dinner, while Honda-san himself insisted on their staying the night. He also informed them that he was notifying the police the next day. Kuro wiped some stray tears from the corner of her eye and sat quietly, Fū on her lap.

It would have been a rather awkward dinner if not for Rōshi, Naruto, and Fū. Rōshi, polite as always, made cheery small talk with the Honda couple, lightening the atmosphere quite a bit. Naruto and Fū, with their childish enthusiasm (though they remembered to use their inside voices), happily jabbered away about anything and everything.

Fū, Chōjūrō, and Naruto turned in after dinner, two of them excited by sleeping on an actual futon. All three of them fell asleep rather quickly, piled up atop one another. Kimimaro, Jūgo, and Suigetsu were put to sleep soon after (Suigestsu with quite a bit of grumbling), and Kuro, quite tired, joined them – though she curled up like a cat on an armchair.

The rest of them went to bed later on, but since the futon was somewhat full, only Rōshi squeezed himself onto it (since his back would annoy him if he slept on the floor). Zabuza fell asleep leaning up against the futon, and Anko plopped herself on the floor, stealing Kuro's blanket (she was fast asleep; she wouldn't notice).

* * *

It was an hour or so after the sun had risen when Romi's family called. They were buying tickets for the next plane from Japan to America and taking her home. Honda-san called the police after Kuro tearfully talked to her parents and siblings and told them about her 'other' family.

The police came and went, interrogating them all about how they escaped and from _where_ they escaped. When the tickets came in the mail, they went to the airport. And boy, was _that_ an experience. But that was a story for another time.

They sat in the plane, and for once, there wasn't an oppressive silence: Kuro happily curled up into Anko's side and began to lecture her and everyone else on her family. "But the most important thing to note is that we're all very close. They'll take this one of two ways: either they'll hole me up and never let anyone see me again, or they'll thank you profusely for taking care of me." She rubbed her face into Anko's shirt, like a cat.

"They're super protective of me; I didn't find out that a hooker was a synonym for a prostitute until I was…twelve or thirteen, I think. I only knew the basic mechanics of 'baby-making' until a couple years later." Anko snorted and shook her head. "You were really sheltered, weren't you?" she said, patting her hair. Kuro nodded, her cute smile still on her face. "Mmhm," she hummed. "I still love my mommy and daddy, though; nothing'll change that."

Rōshi smiled from across the aisle. Jūgo, who sat on Kuro's other side, gave her a long look. "You…were raised a civilian…weren't you?" All of the adults' faces snapped towards Kuro at this question, things finally beginning to snap into place. Kuro, ever oblivious, nodded happily. "Yup. I only started my training a few years ago… How old was I, fifteen?"

Before they could reflect more on this new tidbit of information, a loud yell came from the front of the plane and everyone looked curiously ahead. "What's going on?" Fū exclaimed in question as the plane began to shake. Several people screamed before the plane was taken back under control. A voice came over the intercom – a voice with a suspiciously Western accent.

"This is a hijacking. Your pilot is dead. Cooperate and you will survive. Dissent and you will die." The screams really started up this time.

Kuro's heart began to race in utter excitement. Tarantu wasn't anywhere nearby to calm her – in fact, she was back in the other dimension. As it was, Kuro could feel the bloodlust for which her clan was infamous rise up in her. "Toru, Tachi," she barked at Naruto and Fū, who immediately turned towards their mother. A huge grin threatened to split her face in two. "Let's go kick some butt." She assuaged any protests by reminding the others that terrorists relied on, well, terror to get the job done. They weren't ninja. They probably weren't trained in fighting – and definitely weren't trained the way the Family had been.

Stares and whispered followed them as they made their way up to the pilot's cabin. Two big bruisers stood by the entrance, ignoring the terrified first class passengers as they wielded daggers.

Kuro snorted, making them turn to her. "Daggers? Really? At least you didn't bring guns – the poor airplane might not survive a gunfight." She frowned, putting a finger to her chin. "Well, it would, but the cabin pressure would plummet, and that would suck. Toru, left; Tachi, right. Capture, don't kill." As soon as those words left her mouth, Kuro's children jumped towards the men with inhuman speed.

The fight was over quickly. The brutes obviously didn't know how to use the daggers, and a well-placed kick was enough to disarm them (though there was a sickening crack as Fū's foot met with her opponent's wrist; Kuro didn't suppose wrists were supposed to bend that way). Kuro grabbed the daggers and watched as her children tied up the terrorists with copious amounts of ninja wire, which they produced from the seals on their arms. Not finding any other weapons, Kuro requested they stand guard while she went into the cabin.

"Knock, knock!" she sang, bashing the terrorist over the head with the pommel of a kunai she'd stored in the seal on her arm before tying him up with ninja wire. As soon as the man went down, though, the plane began to shake violently once more. She quickly finished up with the man and looked for the auto-pilot switch. It took a tad bit too long for comfort, but she found it and turned it on. Then she reached for the intercom.

"Hello, everyone, this is a fellow passenger speaking. Hi! Well, the terrorist attack has been successfully nullified, but I'd like for all of the stewards and stewardesses to be up in the pilot's cabin really quickly." She turned off the intercom and looked over the controls.

It was so complicated! Who needed half of these little switches and levers? Kuro quickly found a few things that looked familiar, like the altitude meter and the thingy that showed the plane's balance. The door to the cabin opened then, and she turned to see a prim little Japanese woman in a stewardess's outfit. Behind her were a few others. She nodded them in, and the door closed behind them.

"Okay," she said cheerfully, completely unconcerned with the goings-on. "Who knows how to fly this contraption?"

One of the men fainted.

Kuro frowned. "S'okay; I mean, I could probably do it, but the only experience I've had were three or four flying lessons in a plane without an engine."

Another thud was heard as a stewardess passed out.

Kuro sighed. "Riiight. Crap." She turned around. "Okay, we've got time. According to this," she tapped the electronic map, "we've got a while before we have to land. I can at least do that." She paused. "Does anyone have an idea how to contact the people on the ground?"

The first Japanese woman raised her hand. "Yes; would you like me to call them?"

"Please?" Kuro asked, uneasy for the first time. She was in way over her head. The flight attendant nodded, fiddled with the radio, and held the receiver up to her mouth. Only the slight shaking of her hands betrayed her nervousness.

Meanwhile, Kuro sent the others back out to go back out and continue with their duties. The two unconscious attendants were awoken and told to take it easy. The body of the deceased pilot was covered with a blanket.

"They want to speak with you," the lady said. Kuro nodded and took the receiver. "Hai?" The voice on the other end crackled and popped with static. "Who is this?"

"Romi Greene; I'm American."

"What is the status of the terrorists?"

"Detained."

"What kind of experience do you have with flying?"

"Three or four gliding lessons in a plane without an engine. I'll have to be talked down, but I've got rudimentary knowledge. If we hit any bad weather or turbulence, I'm pretty sure we're fucked."

"It'll be okay, Greene-san. Please try to remain calm." Kuro took a few deep breaths. "All right."

"Can you give me your position?" Kuro looked over at the electronic map and gave the man on the other end her coordinates. "We're heading East-North-East."

"Okay, you should be fine for a while. My name is Daichi – Yamada Daichi."

"Nice to meet you, Yamada-san."

"Likewise. Why are you travelling?"

"I got kidnapped – I'm heading back home to reunite with my family. I haven't seen them in over two years." There was a pause before Yamada replied. "Wow. That's insane. I'm sorry this had to happen."

Kuro grinned. "It's okay. I'm just a bit more worried for my family – my 'new' one, I mean. While I was gone, I found four beautiful children that I was able to adopt. Tachi and Toru are keeping watch over the terrorists at the moment. They're both only five, but they're highly trained in martial arts and are fully capable of taking care of the terrorists."

"Who else is there?"

"Torimaru and Chū are both eight, and Shiro, a friend's son, is as well. Manmaru and Hanatarō are students of the sword – their sensei is Rōnin. Then there's Aiko, who has an obsession with dango and pointy objects, Yon, the ojī-chan of the group, and Roku, who's really quiet and fifteen years old. The last one is Chikurin, who's been my friend the longest."

"Sounds like a big group." Kuro smiled. "Yeah; I'd never have gotten through what I had without them." There was a long pause in which Kuro realized the man probably had orders to keep her calm and talking (not that she was complaining). So she took initiative to make the man's life a bit easier.

She began to recount how she'd met each and every one of her 'Family' members. She paused when she got to Fū. Wasn't adoption a grueling process? How had she gotten Fū so quickly? Was it an illegal adoption since she probably didn't go through the right channels? She continued on, though, until she noticed that she needed to adjust the plane a bit; she mentioned it to Yamada-san.

"All right, you know how to turn?"

"Yeah; I'm used to slightly different controls, but if you talk me through a little bit and I get a feel for it, I'll be fine." So Yamada-san did – he explained which buttons did what function, how to lift the plane back up to an acceptable altitude, and all that jazz. Kuro was _extremely_ grateful to the man.

It was a testament to her oddness that, despite her anxiety disorder, Kuro felt little apprehension and instead felt adrenaline. She'd get panic attacks over something like losing a jacket, and even then, not too often anymore.

Throughout all of this, the stewardess stood behind Kuro, providing support and keeping an eye on the terrorist. Kuro turned back to her and gave her a grateful smile. "I'm Romi," she said quietly. "Romi Greene."

The woman smiled. "I'm Suzuki Kyoko; it's nice to meet you."

"Likewise. Thank you for all the help."

"I should be thanking you. Heaven knows what these men might've done." Kuro chuckled. She, Suzuki-san, and Yamada-san conversed quietly until it was time to land. Kuro actually did this pretty well, what with Yamada-san talking her through and her prior experience in a glider. It wasn't the best landing, and everyone got jostled terribly, but everyone got down (they were ready for her, and made sure she didn't have to taxi on the tarmac).

When everyone got off the plane safely, Kuro finally gave in: she broke down and cried.

* * *

**A/N: THIS CHAPTER DID NOT WANT TO BE WRITTEN! Damn, I'm so sorry; this took ages, and the plane scene came out of nowhere, I swear! Well, everything in this story is pulled out of my ass. I never saw this plot coming. It's interesting to write Taki vs. Fū.**


	14. The Greene Family

**Made of Fail**

* * *

_Chapter Twelve  
The Greene Family  
_

Anko pouted. As soon as they'd landed, they were ushered into a small room, away from any cameras or anchormen who wanted a quick scoop. Then some people who claimed they were from the government interrogated them; at least, that's what their translator said. Well, 'attempted interrogation' would be a better term. Kuro stopped blinking for a bit to quickly well up some tears in her eyes and put on a most convincing display of being highly traumatized by the event and wanting to see her mommy and daddy.

Had she not held herself back, Anko would've burst out laughing at the way she'd played them. Of course, the fact that Sara had quietly explained how they'd all almost died sobered her up quickly. "Aah…" she sighed. "I need sake."

Of course, she didn't get sake just then. The government officials tried to interrogate them, but those attempts were quickly shot down by Kuro, who blubbered that she needed them, putting up a convincing enough act that they picked up her 'emotional attachment to the individuals with whom she went through a highly traumatizing event'.

They let them go, and Kuro kept up the act by attaching herself to Anko's side, sniffling a few times and shyly accepting a tissue from an official, giving him a watery smile. After being ushered through the sea of reporters, they were brought to a car with tinted windows and shepherded them into the vehicle.

Anko, of course, thought it was cool and voiced her confusion as to the identity of the contraption they'd just entered. Sara explained what it was, and she was impressed. These people were advanced.

With another sigh, Anko relaxed into the chair, letting Kuro snuggle into her and take a nap (seriously – the girl slept more than a Nara!), but still keeping an eye on their little tagalongs. If there was one thing being a kunoichi had taught her, it was never to trust someone else's government, and seldom even her own.

Utakata, meanwhile, was quietly comforting a suddenly nervous 'Devious Duo', i.e. Naruto and Fū. He put his arms around the two, letting Fū sit on his lap and snuggle against his chest and Naruto bury himself into his side. The rokubi was making snide comments, but that was easily ignored, as per usual. After the two had gotten down from their high from doing 'cool ninja things', they'd realized just how closed they'd come to dying and acted accordingly. With their mother still pretending to be traumatized and Anko having her hands full dealing with her, it was up to him to calm them down.

Utakata was good at that sort of thing. He exuded a sort of tranquility that calmed others as well, and while Rōshi was also a pillar of calm, his carried a sort of grandfatherly quality. He'd sit and talk quietly about inane things, or just relax with them. Utakata, however, wouldn't change at all except for putting a hand on a shoulder or patting a head; he was more stoic. Sometimes the kids would want him for support, and sometimes they'd go to Rōshi. Heck, if they needed a whack on the side of the head, they'd go to Zabuza!

Idly rubbing soothing circles on Naruto's back with his thumb, Utakata sat in silence and tried to find various escape routes the pass the time. He knew Anko and Zabuza were keeping an eye on the people, so he was able to trust him as partners and keep an eye on the environment and his charges.

It took a while, but eventually they reached a nice house. Kuro had long since awoken and spent the time fidgeting and trying to get control over herself. As soon as they parked, though, she jumped right out of the car and ran up the path to the front door. Naruto and Fū were right on her tail, eager to meet their mommy's other family.

She stopped at the front door, her racing heart having nothing to do with her short sprint. Anxiety reared its ugly head, and a knot rose into her throat, making it hard to breathe. Kuro hugged herself, taking shallow, gasping breaths. She didn't know why – there was no logical reason for her to be this anxious – but for some reason, she was. She didn't even need to fake it for the government agents this time.

Seeing his mom have a miniature emotional breakdown, Naruto shared a look with Fū and took initiative, ringing the doorbell. They heard the sound of several people running to the door, which was then wrenched open quickly enough for them to feel a strong breeze.

At the door was a beautiful girl with lightly tanned skin and long, long blonde hair that reached her hips. She had a soft look about her and very round, pouty lips. Behind her was a woman with pale skin and black hair that reached just past her shoulders, and next to her was a tall man with a wide nose, thick lips, and brown curls. Behind them was an older-looking man with white hair and tan skin.

This seemed to be the breaking point for Kuro, as she began to sob and jumped into the pretty girl's arms. The whole family in front of them, now crying, formed a ring around her as they sobbed after their reunion.

It took a long time for all the sobs to subside; the reunion lasted quite a while and in the middle, Kuro had cried so hard she'd gotten a nosebleed of which they needed to take care. When they were all cried out, they detached themselves and sat together in their kitchen.

Kuro's eyes were red, and her voice scratchy, but she had the biggest smile on her face as she introduced everyone. The woman with black hair was her mother, Merry, and the elderly man was her father, Myron. Her brother, Joseph, was the tall boy, and her sister, Robyn, was the girl with the super-long hair. Myron used to speak fluent Japanese, but had forgotten quite a lot of it; however, they all knew French, which Kuro had taught Fū, Naruto, Jūgo, and Kimimaro. Naruto couldn't speak it as well as the others, as he hadn't spoken it as long, but it was enough to hold simple conversations.

After the government agents left (they said they'd come back tomorrow), Kuro got down to business.

"Okay, guys, here's how it is…" and she recounted her entire tale, from the sleepover to the hijacking. Fū jumped in with her own comments when she felt as though her 'kā-chan hadn't accurately described the awesomeness of something.

There was a silence after she'd finished her tale. Then Joseph spoke. "You expect us to believe that?" he asked, a disbelieving smile on his face. "Wow, dumbass." Kuro grinned back at him. "Well, it's true," she defended. To prove her point, she created a shadow clone, with no words, seals, or smoke. Kuro's family jumped. "What the fuck?" Robyn yelped.

Kuro tilted her head back and laughed – in stereo. Then she punched the clone, which fell back and disappeared. With the proof, the Greene family grudgingly agreed that Kuro probably wasn't high the whole time.

"I'm just glad you're okay," murmured Merry. The rest of the family nodded silently. Kuro sighed. "So we're basically here to ask for help. We – and let me finish before you speak, okay? We need to go back – and I mean _need_ to. Taki won't stop until they get Fū back, and I'm not giving her up. We're hoping we won't have to go to war over this, but we want to keep her safe, just in case. So beyond seeing you after two and a half _fucking years_," she glared at Sara, "we want to know if you can take care of my daughter for us. And I promise to visit – often. But I can't stay – I've made a life for myself there, and I'm _happy_. I don't need my medication, and I've made friends, and…"

Kuro sighed, bringing her knees up to her chest and leaning her head on them. "…And, well, I've gotten really far in life. I'm making a change and helping people, and since I'm important there, people actually listen to me. You know how I've always wanted to help people – and there, I'm able to make a fresh start. I can be who I've always wanted to be. I mean, I can do that here, but I can do more good _there_. I have connections. I've got another family, and we take care of each other. I'll visit once a week. I have a stable source of income. I'm friends with the leaders of most of the world superpowers there.

"I've made a life and I'm _used_ to it. I love it here, but I'm needed there," she finished. There was a long silence. Merry suddenly stood and strode out of the room and down the hall. Myron looked at them before excusing himself and hurrying after his wife. Kuro sighed. "She's pissed."

"Well no _shit_," Joseph retorted. "You show up out of fucking _nowhere_, tell us you've got a job where you could get killed, say there might be a war where you'd be on the front lines, and say you have to go back, but you're leaving your kid and you'll _visit_? Romi, if it was just us, Mom would throw a fucking tantrum."

"Yeah," Robyn added. "Romi, you'll be lucky if she lets you leave the house again after this. I mean, I'm happy for you and all; you're my little sister and I love you, you know? But this is a bit much to take in all at once." Kuro sighed and slumped over. "Yeah… I know." She turned to her other family. "You can undo the henge now," she said softly.

With identical sighs of relief, the whole family returned to their true shapes, making Joseph and Robyn jump. "It's going to take a while to get used to that," Joseph remarked.

Anko sighed and collapsed back into her chair. "Y'know, Kuro, not all of us are stamina freaks; even keeping up a low-level jutsu like a henge is tiring." Naruto and Fū blinked. "What?"

"Really?" Anko rolled her eyes and cuffed them both. "Obviously. You two, Utakata, Kuro, and Rōshi are the biggest stamina freaks here. Zabuza has a hell of a lot of stamina, too, but it's not quite on your level – yours is all natural. So what's easy for you might not be easy for everyone."

The two nodded thoughtfully.

They spent the rest of the time waiting for Kuro's mom and dad to come back talking. Robyn and Joseph detailed how their lives had been following Kuro's departure, making her feel a bit guilty. Robyn had put her considerable ambition to contacting news stations and keeping the search alive. She put off college to try to find her, and worked at a low-end job to make ends meet.

Joseph, on the other hand, was a straight-A student. Kuro's disappearance had kicked him into gear, and he was on the straight and narrow. Unfortunately, he'd become a bit of a recluse and didn't have much of a social life at all.

Kuro fidgeted quite a bit. "Well, you can go to college now, right, Robyn? I mean, 'spending two and a half years trying to find my missing sister' would really stand out in an essay, right?" She chuckled nervously. Robyn smiled. "I'm just glad you're okay," she said softly.

Zabuza groaned. "Fuck, not this lovey-dovey shit again." Anko kicked him under the table to get him to shut up, making him roll his eyes.

It took a while, but eventually Myron came back into the kitchen to get Kuro and bring her upstairs to her mother. Merry's eyes were redder than before. "Romi," she said sternly, and a bit loudly. "I'm going to give you a chance to explain why the _fuck_ I should let you go back there and get yourself killed."

Kuro sighed. "Because I've grown up," she said plainly. "I've become an adult and gotten a job. For all intents and purposes, it's just like joining the CIA. I go on missions and come home. And it doesn't matter where I live because everyone grows up, leaves home, and gets a job eventually. This is really no different, except I'll visit more."

"Romi, you will GET YOURSELF KILLED!"

"I haven't yet, and I've been living on my own for two and a half years."

"JESUS CHRIST, ROMI! Just because you haven't been killed yet doesn't mean you won't in the future!"

"Mom, I'm the head of an ancient clan. They won't _let_ me get killed until I've made a nice little family."

"YOU'RE EIGHTEEN!"

"I honestly don't think I'll ever have biological children, Mommy." Once again, Merry stormed out of the room. There was a long silence before Myron quietly sat down next to his tightly wound daughter. Kuro leaned into his side. "She's just scared."

"I know."

"She thinks she'll lose you again."

"I know."

"She doesn't –"

"Jesus Criminy, Dad, I get it." They looked at each other and began to laugh. When they stopped, the atmosphere turned serious again. "I'm scared of losing you, too, Romi," Myron admitted. "I don't think I can handle that again; not now, when I've found you safe." Kuro nodded. There was a short pause as she gathered her thoughts. "You know, there was a man who had terrible cancer. They knew he was going to die, so in an act of desperation, he pinned all his hope on this supposed miracle drug.

"Of course, it took a while to convince the doctors, but eventually they gave in and gave it to him." Kuro smiled. "It was amazing, Daddy. The man got better. The tumors had almost completely disappeared. Of course, that's when one of the doctors found out that the 'miracle drug' didn't work. To test his hypothesis, he replaced the man's medicine with water. There was no difference. The man continued to get better until all his tumors were gone. He went into remission and was discharged."

"What happened then?" Myron prompted, sensing she wasn't done with her story. Kuro sighed. "He saw on television that they found out the drug didn't work, and the hospitals were all throwing away their supply. Overnight, the tumors came back and were bigger than ever. He ended up dying.

"But that's the thing, Daddy. This man got better because he believed he'd get better. When they disillusioned him, he died because he lost faith. If I believe I won't die, then I won't die. So I know I won't die. Mind over matter, Daddy."

Myron didn't speak for a long time. Finally, he sagged. "I didn't think I could convince you," he said humorlessly. "But if that's what you want, then I'll support you." He attempted a smile. "You'll just do what you want, anyway. You always have, you spoiled brat."

Kuro laughed and gave her dad a shove.

"Ooh, ooh, Romi, that's my bad elbow!"

And laughed some more.

* * *

It took quite a bit longer to convince Merry. In all honesty, Kuro didn't think she could do it – her mommy always did wear the pants in the family. But she eventually stood down.

Fū didn't want her 'kā-chan to go – she loved her grandparents and her aunt and her uncle, but the bottom line was that she wanted her kā-chan more than anything. But Kuro stayed firm in her decision.

"It's just for a little while, daughter," she said softly as she held her. "This whole thing with Taki will blow over and we'll take you back home, okay?" Fū tried to believe it – she really did. But in her heart, she knew that Taki wouldn't give up so easily.

The goodbyes were drawn out and painfully slow, but the trip back to Konoha was nice and quick. They had all had to stay for a week to give their story to the government and to the press. Kuro let herself be interviewed by NPR, the BBC, and The Daily Show and The Colbert Report (the last two were a lot of fun), but respectfully declined interviews with other news organizations and outright laughed in Fox News's face.

Thankfully, Hiruzen accepted their tardiness, explaining that he'd figured they'd be gone awhile.

"However," he said, "Taki has begun to get aggressive. We're going to be meeting with their leader, Taka Mori, in a week. You'll have to come well-dressed and in traditional clothing." Kuro blinked at this. "I have never worn a kimono before in my entire existence," she said, deadpan.

"That might make it a bit difficult," Hiruzen allowed. "However, I do know a good tailor, so he'll be able to make an outfit for you." They discussed it a little bit longer, and Kuro left to go find this tailor.

* * *

Tarantu got the update on the situation in a letter from Anko, dropped through their teleporting mailbox. It lacked her usual flirtatious charm and was rather serious, so Tarantu knew she was worried. Was another war on the horizon?

Gaara walked up to his Okā-san, Sui, his rhinoceros beetle, sitting on his head. "Okā-san?" he asked worriedly. "I still can't feel Fū-chan through the link. Did you find out what happened?" Tarantu turned to him, a tired smile on her face.

"Yes; she's too far away for you to communicate, but she's fine. In fact, she's been in a safe place for a week, now, to protect her from Taki." Gaara nodded, a thoughtful look on his face. "Will everything turn out okay?"

Tarantu picked up her son and set him in her lap as she held him close. "It's just for a little while, son," she said softly. "This whole thing with Taki will blow over and Fū will come back home, okay?" Gaara nodded skeptically, but let himself be held.

And he hoped.

* * *

Kuro looked at the piece of paper in front of her and at the storefront.

Then back at the paper.

Then back at the storefront.

Then she sighed. "Well, here goes nothing." She walked into the store.

It was clean and Spartan. There was a register, some chairs, material hanging from racks, and a sewing kit in the back – there was everything one needed in such a store. Kuro silently strode up to the counter and rang a bell, which dinged loudly in the small shop. She stood silently in wait.

The bell rang again.

Kuro looked down.

"Sara?" she exclaimed in befuddlement. "When did you get here?" Sara grinned up at her. "I'm a ninja!" she said happily. Kuro snorted. Sara always made her feel better. "You're a whackjob."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

The bell rang a third time.

"I heard ya the first time!" an irritated voice called from the back. A small old man with slender spectacles balanced on the bridge of his nose walked out from behind a curtain, grumpily glaring up at them. "Whaddya want?"

Kuro bowed slightly. "Hello, my name is Yin Kuro Tsukiakari, and I've an important event coming up." She blushed. "So I find myself in need of a kimono; you were referred to me, and I was hoping you would be of help."

Sara raised a brow at the formality. Apparently this whole thing was hitting Kuro harder than she'd thought.

The man squinted at her from behind his spectacles. "Hm. So you're that Yin everyone's talking about, huh?" Kuro nodded. "Well, who referred you?"

"The Hokage." The man paused at this and looked at her intently. Then he grunted. "Well, I guess there's nothing for it then. What'd'you have in mind?" Kuro blinked, but went along with it. "Well, I was hoping for something formal – and, well, it's my first kimono, so I'll probably need to get under-things, too."

There was another grunt, so Kuro took that as acceptance.

The whole thing didn't take so long – the man, Ito Isshin, obviously knew what he was doing. He took measurements, compared fabrics, and came up with a marvelous design. The cost, though high, was within their budget and into Ito-san's pocket by the end of the day. As soon as he had what he needed from them, he kicked out both Kuro and Sara so he could work in peace.

Kuro blinked. "Well, that went well."

Sara agreed.

* * *

Fū awoke the next morning in her 'Kā-chan's old room – it was nice, with a calm blue color scheme, but it wasn't quite home. So with a sigh, she got up and put on her new clothes. Apparently, people in this dimension dressed slightly differently: no ninja clothing was normal here. Therefore, 'Kā-chan brought along clothing that would blend in more.

Fū looked at herself in the mirror. She was wearing black sweatpants and a dark green t-shirt. It wasn't actually different from what most people wore back home, but some of the things people wore there were too odd to wear here; like her jumpsuit. With a yawn, she trudged down the stairs.

It was early enough that the sun was barely up, and Fū frowned at this. Usually the entire family got up to watch the sunrise – she must've been quite tired last night.

Shaking the thought from her head, Fū opened up various cabinets to see what sorts of things she could make for breakfast. She made a face. There was absolutely _nothing_ here she recognized! Well, there were some things: raisins, dry cereal, sugar, salt, that sort of thing. But half of these things were completely foreign to her!

Groaning, she decided to simply go with a banana, peanut butter, and raisins, with a glass of milk. She had finished and was washing her dishes in the sink when Myron came down. "Fū?" She looked up at him. "Bonjour, Pépère!" She greeted. "Is there anywhere to hunt or gather around here?"

Pépère blinked slowly as he looked at Fū. "We could always go to the store," he said with a shrug. "You hunt?" Fū nodded. "Yeah. Maman takes me sometimes, when we hunt for small game. Mostly it's rabbits, but sometimes we go for frogs or fish. Do you not hunt?"

He shook his head and went to go pour himself a bowl of cereal. "No, never," he admitted. "I'm glad to just go to the store to get something."

"We've never gone to the store before."

"Never?"

"Nuh-uh." Pépère shrugged. "It must be tough living like that."

"Not really. It's fun. We cook over an open fire and wash in the stream – Maman even makes us lye soap to use – and hunt and gather our own food. We only buy things like rice and flour." Pépère nodded in acceptance and looked over at her again. She was crouched on the counter next to the sink, washing her plate and knife. He chuckled and poured milk into his cereal bowl.

After Fū finished washing her dishes, she got to work on the perpetually messy counter, putting things away and wiping it down. Really, there wasn't much else to do around here. There was always something to do in the forest or around Konoha, and it always kept her busy. But here, these people just sat around. How could they keep busy without training or hunting? Really, these people were _weird_.

She got finished around the time Pépère was finishing his breakfast, so she took his bowl and spoon and washed it before leaving it to dry in the rack. "Pépère, what are we going to do today?"

Pépère sat back in his chair with a grunt. "Well, I don't have anything on the calendar… I did the laundry yesterday… The dishes are clean… The house is clean…" He looked down at Fū. "There's really nothing," he admitted. "Ever since you and the others came, I've been caught up with all of my chores. What would you like to do today?"

Fū grinned. "Can we go to a forest? I'd like to see what kinds of insects you have here." Pépère agreed.

After they took Joseph to school, they went to a trail nearby. Fū, under a henge, happily ran into the forest. "These trees are small!" she exclaimed.

"What kind of trees are _you_ used to?" Pépère laughed. Fū stuck her tongue out at him, but grinned anyway and ran up a tree, forcing Pépère to calm his racing heart. She was only up there a few moments before she squealed in happiness. "Look, Pépère! A walkingstick!"

"Fū!" he called back up. "Get down from there!"

"Why? I'm totally safe. See?" And she hung upside down from a tree branch from her feet. Pépère seemed to take it in stride, but still needed to lean against the tree to steady himself. "I can see that, Fū, but it frightens me to see you up so high. I'd really appreciate it if you came down."

She sighed, but acquiesced. At least she found a new insect. It'd be a useful spy.

She hoped the others were doing all right.

* * *

It was a story.

Each stitch, each thread, told its own story. Woven together, it created a scene from paradise: wolves of all colors and ages played by a stream, seemingly dancing to an unknown tune – a tune too heavenly to be heard by mortal ears. The stream babbled and ran, water rushing over and around stones on the river bottom and giving a home to fish swimming beneath its clear surface.

Trees in the background were lush and green of various hues, from a golden green that thrived in the moonlight to the bright green sprouts of spring to the dark, dark green of matured leaves that gave an air of ancient wisdom. In the trees, hiding behind the leaves, one could catch glimpses of mysterious felines with piercing eyes as they stalked from branch to branch.

Behind the trees was a full moon casting its silvery rays through the scene. Moonbeams caressed the earth beneath the darkened sky, dotted with billions of stars.

Kuro released a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding as she looked at herself in the mirror. This amazing scene on the silk had been turned into a kimono – a kimono she was wearing.

Underneath the kimono, poking out from underneath at the neckline, was a pitch black hiyoku (basically the under-kimono) that proved the night sky on the kimono was not black, but rather an impossibly dark blue. A thick black maru obi cut the scene on the kimono in half, but didn't cut out anything of importance – most of the scene was beneath the obi, while the only thing above it were some tall trees and the sky, along with the silhouette of a single bay cat. It was tied in the back with a Tayeta knot, which looked like a large bow. On her feet were plain white tabi socks with formal, fabric-covered zōri sandals.

Ito Isshin scurried around her, making adjustments here and there with bobby pins. It was three days before the big meeting, and he was just making some final adjustments. Sara had supplied the fabric, having found it in one of her many collections o' random shit (she claimed) and insisted he use it.

"All right, I'm done. Go change." Kuro nodded her understanding and walked over to the changing room before disrobing. Off came the kimono…

…and the obi…

…and the hiyoku…

…and the hadajuban…

…and the koshihimo…

…and the datejime…

…and the susuyoke…

…and the nagajuban…

…and the tabi…

…and the zōri.

With each item she took off, she made sure to carefully hang it on the supplied hangers or otherwise take care of it. She _really_ didn't want to ruin it. Or piss off Ito-san. He was a _very_ grumpy little man.

Kuro smiled. Now all that was left was the hairdo!

* * *

It was the day of the meeting. Kuro and Sara had spent two and a half days travelling with the Hokage and his escort, which consisted of at least three full ANBU teams, one of whose was a certain mask-wearing, eternally late scarecrow. Kuro made it a point to greet him as 'Wallflower-kun' and comment that if she hadn't heard him speak that one time, she'd think him mute, but perhaps he was a selective mute.

She'd let him deal with the fallout.

As they were travelling in trees, Kuro had put her hair up in a high braid so it wouldn't fly around all over the place. 'Maybe I should cut it…just a little…'

And she ran headfirst into a tree.

"Ro!"

"Nyu~n…" Kuro fell back onto a branch, swirls in her eyes and her mouth comically open. Sara jumped down and shook her from side to side, making her wobble to and fro. "No!" she cried out dramatically, hugging Kuro to her breast. "My love! You promised you would never leave me! Cruel is the god who would take away from this dark earth such a wondrous gift to man!" Two rivers of tears ran down her face.

"Sara," came a muffled voice. "Your boobs are really soft." Sara shrieked and jumped away, leaving Kuro gasping for breath. "I couldn't _breathe_, you bitch!" she exclaimed, a comically angry expression on her face. "I nearly died!"

"Kuro, Sara, can we keep going?" a voice asked, its tone a mix of irritated and amused. The two looked up with a wide-eyed look of childish guilt on their faces to see Hiruzen looking down at them with his arms crossed. Kuro pointed to Sara suddenly. "She started it!" she yelled before jumping away.

"Oi! _You_ started it!" Sara was answered by Kuro's maniacal laughter. Hiruzen sighed. "I suppose that's a 'yes'."

And they continued onwards.

* * *

They reached Taki the night before the meeting. Kuro immediately unpacked, showered, got dressed in her footsies, and collapsed on top of the covers as soon as she was shown her room. Sara had chosen to room with her, and so they both slept together.

And in the next room over…

"So… Wallflower-kun, huh?"

"Shut the fuck up."

The next day was the day of reckoning. Kuro woke up and brushed out her hair before having Sara help her put on her new kimono. It had been put in a special storage seal she'd created to keep any item stored within it in a state of suspended animation. The result: no more spoiled milk or creases in clothes.

So on went the kimono…

…and the obi…

…and the hiyoku…

…and the hadajuban…

…and the koshihimo…

…and the datejime…

…and the susuyoke…

…and the nagajuban…

…and the tabi…

…and the zōri.

They had decided not to do anything with her hair and just letting it hang down in a single, thick sheet tucked behind her ears. They did, however, even up the ends to give it a more professional look. So with a sigh, Kuro took one last look in the mirror and walked out of her room and to the room where the meeting was to take place.

In all honesty, Kuro could get away with wearing anything – her ancestors had lived so long ago that their traditions had died out and no one (save Sara, of course) remembered them. Therefore, she could show up in her underwear, snorkels, and a swimming tube shaped like a duck and it would be accepted as her clan's tradition as no one had any way of proving otherwise.

Of course, Kuro chose to go truly traditional and wear a furisode kimono, with its long, swaying sleeves that practically touched the ground, and stick with what her ancestors had done. She knew it was time to be serious, and to be there decked out in time-honored Yin regalia would help with the intimidation factor.

She would do whatever it took to help her baby stay safe.

Gathering her courage, Kuro opened the door to the meeting room at exactly five minutes to ten.

Hiruzen was there, seated on a cushion at a small table. He looked up as she entered, and his brows raised. "Well, Yin-dono, you look very well. I knew I made the right decision by sending you to Ito. He'd not have let you leave without proper clothing."

Kuro hid a smirk behind a delicate fan with the design of five running wolves dashing across. She knew exactly what he was doing. "I thank you very much, Hokage-sama," she said with a slight incline to the head in lieu of a bow. She was using the extremely formal style of speech, yet still making it sound as if she were talking to an equal. Being an actress really paid off sometimes. "Ito-san was more than adequate, and I believe I will be using him more often if he continues to turn out such a high quality of work." She walked towards the table silently, taking small steps and keeping perfect posture, with her chin slightly elevated.

Sitting on a cushion beside Hiruzen with her hair and kimono trailing behind her, she closed her fan, laid it on her lap with her hands folded over it, and waited.

It was precisely ten o'clock when the leader of Taki came in.

Taka Mori was a tall man who had a proud air about him. He had short brown hair and piercing black eyes, and wore battle robes. Kuro gazed upon him in boredom mixed with a bit of contempt – the contempt wasn't hard to add into the mix.

"Hokage-dono; Yin-dono," he greeted in a gruff voice. They both stayed seated and inclined their heads slightly in lieu of a bow. "Taka-dono," they greeted, Hiruzen with a relaxed smile and Kuro quite clipped and coldly.

'Oy vey; it's like Good Cop/Bad Cop.' The thought would have made her chuckle in any other situation. She made a mental note to laugh about it later. At the moment, she'd pay attention to her surroundings. She reopened her fan and held it in front of her mouth.

She couldn't see a single ANBU.

Damn, they were good.

"Would you like some tea?" Taka asked. Hiruzen accepted the offer, while Kuro declined. 'I hate tea…' she thought to herself in irritation. 'How can I fit in if I don't like tea? Everyone drinks tea! Fuck it, I'm Kuro. I do what I want.'

Getting back to the present, Kuro snapped her fan closed. "I believe we've put aside enough time for the pleasantries. We all know why we're here, and I'd like to get down to business," she said in her clipped, cold voice, still using the formalities and yet putting just enough venom and condescension into it that it sounded borderline insulting.

'…because this kimono is damn uncomfortable.'

Taka nodded, but his jaw visibly tightened. Kuro hid another smirk behind her fan.

"Now, now, Yin-dono, we mustn't spurn Taka-dono's hospitality." Kuro's lips thinned behind her fan in faux annoyance. "Of course," she said, increasing the condescension in her tone just a tad while removing the smallest bit of venom. "My apologies, Taka-dono, I am simply on edge today. I hope for a mutually beneficial agreement between our villages."

It seemed to be working well. Kuro really was on edge, though; she walked a fine line between politeness and outright rudeness, and here, making the wrong move could cost lives. It was a damn good thing she could act. The only thing left was not to overdo it.

* * *

Tarantu had a bad feeling – a very bad feeling. It made her skin prickle and itch so much it toed the line between discomfort and pain. She shivered and sat back down in her chair. "Okā-san?" Kankurō questioned worriedly. She and the kids were in the middle of playing a board game.

"Oh, is it my turn?" she asked distractedly. "Sorry kids; Okā-san needs to lie down for a bit. I'll be back in a little bit, okay?" The three kids shared a look, but before they could think of anything to say, Tarantu had left the kitchen.

"Okay, I'm getting Yashamaru. Who's with me?"

* * *

Yashamaru gave Tarantu a cursory examination to find that…well, nothing was wrong. "Well, you're right, Tarantu-kōhai," he said quizzically. "There's nothing physically wrong with you. What were your symptoms again?"

Tarantu leaned back into her chair, bringing her knees up to her chest. "There's…this feeling in the pit of my stomach, almost like it's being pulled down by a weight… My heart's leapt up into my throat, and I'm short of breath. My skin prickles and itches so much it hurts…and I've got this horrible…horrible feeling of foreboding. Something…very bad is going to happen that'll upset some balance somewhere."

Yashamaru looked at his friend in worry. This was very bad. It obviously didn't have a physical reason, which only left psychological. If it appeared out of the blue like Tarantu had said had happened, it would be near impossible to fix without finding the root cause. There wasn't any sign of genjutsu, either. Withholding a sigh, he gave Tarantu an encouraging smile. "Well, I'm sure it'll blow over soon. It's probably just worry."

She didn't need to know that he'd be poring over his medical journals well into the night.

* * *

"Well, as Yin-dono has suggested, I suppose we should get to the point," Taka said neutrally. "Your adoption of the container of the Shichibi no Kabutomushi –"

"Fū," Kuro cut in. Taka looked sharply at her. "Excuse me?" Kuro looked at him with her imperious gaze, lowering her fan to reveal her face, making her point clearer. "My daughter's name is Fū. I mean no disrespect by saying this," which, of course, meant that she hoped he felt disrespected anyway, "but you must recall that we are not simply dealing with an unfeeling weapon of mass destruction. We are dealing with a human being – a little girl – with her own thoughts and feelings, her own dreams.

"You and I have very different hopes for the outcome of this meeting: you wish to have your weapon back in your hands, while I simply wish for my daughter to be safe and happy at home. It is unfortunate that our goals happen to offset one another, but it is important to keep in mind that Fū is the one who will be the most effected by all of this. Therefore, we must keep her wellbeing in mind also."

Hiruzen hid a smirk behind his pipe. She had laid it all out on the table, keeping her words neutral and her tone even the entire time, despite very obviously chastising him and scorning his lack of ability to care for a child. Was she truly new to politics? Kuro was playing her role surprisingly well.

Clearing his throat, Hiruzen agreed. "Alas, it is true," he said. "Without a way of safely separating the two, we are stuck bargaining. As Fū is the one being bargained, we must be sure to uphold respect for human life."

"That is true," Taka conceded, realizing that he was definitely _not_ in control of the situation. "However, it is also true that whoever holds her gains a great asset to his village. Since Konoha already has a jinchūriki, it would upset the delicate balance of power amongst the nations."

"And yet," Kuro reminded him, "both our villages are allied. We already have two jinchūriki combined, and in this case, we still have two jinchūriki combined." She felt no need to point out that Konoha had four jinchūriki at this point in time, plus whatever Sara was.

Hiruzen agreed. "Konoha and Taki are allied, and I can assure you that as long as the Will of Fire runs through Konoha, we will keep our allies protected with all of the manpower we can spare. Our forces combined would be the same, whether our jinchūriki are in your hands or ours."

Taka nodded jerkily. He realized that with the two of them working together, he had a slim chance of regaining his footing in this political dance. He needed to find some leverage, and quickly.

"That is a fine furisode you're wearing," he remarked suddenly, eyeing Kuro's kimono. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion at the sudden change in topic. "The compliment is appreciated, Taka-dono… However, I must ask what relevance that has to our discussion?"

"Only unmarried women wear furisode. I had wondered why you were wearing it."

"This line of conversation has become quite invasive, Taka-dono," Kuro said, her voice becoming more clipped. "Is there a point you are trying to make, or do you just delight in frivolous gossip?" But Taka was unfazed. He had a lead, and he was following it.

"So you are unmarried… It's a shame. I had thought a woman of your beauty and class would have found a husband by now." Kuro lifted her chin to look down her nose at him. "True women do not require a man to make them great."

'I'm only eighteen, you fucking cradle-robber! And I look a hell of a lot younger than that!'

Taka looked surprised that she had come up with a comeback so quickly, but plowed forward. "Since you do not have a husband to return to, I propose a trade. You shall spend half the year in Taki, and half in Konoha."

Kuro looked to Hiruzen for guidance. His face was carefully neutral as he gazed back. The ball was in her court. She took a deep breath and looked back sharply at Taka. "Unacceptable," she said in a clipped tone. "Six months is an improper amount of time. One week, at the most."

"Three months."

"One moon."

"Two."

"One. And that's my final offer." Taka smirked widely. "It's a deal."

Kuro sat back as Taka and Hiruzen hashed out the details of their agreement. They wrote out an agreeable contract and Kuro, trusting Hiruzen as both her leader and grandfather, signed it as soon as he handed it to her. If the terms were acceptable to him, then they were acceptable to her.

If one ignored the legalese, the contract said that Taka would be able to break the contract whenever he so desired. Kuro would have diplomatic immunity, but would be expected to act with the proper decorum. She would stay for one full lunar cycle during the spring, during which time she would have to stay in the public eye. No ninja duties would be imposed upon her, and she would be allowed to continue her duties as head of the Yin clan during this time. The contract was set to be renewed in five years.

Kuro stood and gave Taka-san a tilt of her head in farewell, leaving the room behind Hiruzen. As soon as they were back in the visitors' building, Kuro sighed and leaned against the wall, looking blearily up at him. "Did I do well?"

Hiruzen gave her a proud smile. "You did more than well, Kuro!" he said happily, lighting his pipe. "Usually these things take a lot longer, and more than one visit. We were able to come to an agreement very quickly thanks to your help." Kuro beamed at the praise.

"I'm a bit wary of Taka's intentions regarding you, you must understand," he added seriously. Kuro sobered quickly. "Yes, he was acting quite odd when he pointed out that I was unmarried. But really, I'm eighteen! Of course I wouldn't be married yet!" She huffed. "Clan or no clan, I'm not taking that step until I'm ready."

Hiruzen smiled. "Good," he said. "I'm glad you're so sure of yourself – that assures me that he won't be able to try any funny business around you." Kuro nodded. "If he tries anything funny, then perhaps he may soon come to learn that that's not such a good idea." She smirked.

Things would turn out all right.

Tarantu finally calmed down. Her symptoms had all disappeared with surprising suddenness. Yashamaru, of course, gave her strict orders not to overexert herself. He knew he could trust Tarantu to obey him – she was always good at that.

The kids gathered around her, hoping for confirmation that she was going to be all right. Tarantu quickly and happily relieved their worries and took them to bed. Tsubasa, the bird with the frostbitten leg, landed on her shoulder and nibbled her ear affectionately. Tarantu smiled.

Everything turned out all right.

* * *

**A/N: See? Things didn't take half as long this time! I'm so pleased with the way this turned out; Tarantu's getting more screen time, and the peace talks went very well. What will Kuro do with the time she's forced to be in Taki? Who knows? I'm just the medium. The story writes itself!**


	15. Moar Plot

**Made of Fail**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen  
Moar Plot**

Fū happily returned home with Kuro. Kuro informed her family of the agreement they'd made with Taki, which started up another argument between her and Merry. Myron got involved when Merry demanded to know if he cared. It took a while, but Merry eventually cooled down when Kuro forced her to realize that she had diplomatic immunity, and that it was a small price to pay for having her baby safe and that Merry would do the same for her.

They got back to Konoha without incident. Kuro gave a copy of a seal design to Ito – the one that stores things inside in suspended animation – figuring he could use it, as kimono were known for their notoriously difficult upkeep. When she explained what it did, Ito got as still as a statue and his eyes got wide. When she couldn't get him to move, she left, figuring that his reaction was enough of a thank you.

So it was with a satisfied grin that Kuro began to walk back to her tree. She had plans to put into action.

* * *

Utakata had made it a point to continue helping Rock Lee improve his taijutsu. At the moment, they were working on the Drunken Fist Mantis style, which suited Lee to the point that he did it instinctively. It was suddenly switching styles that was a problem.

"Aikido!" After a brief pause, Lee clumsily switched his style to the little Aikido he knew. He was rapidly improving – but as he promised Kuro onē-san, continued just to pass his classes by the skin of his teeth. As it was nearing the second semester of his second year, he still had a long, hard road to follow and a very thin line to toe. He knew he was following a plan he didn't know, but for better or worse, he trusted the Family.

"Jeet Kune Do!" Lee was able to switch styles a bit more smoothly this time, as he was more familiar with JKD – it was just like the Drunken Fist, and yet intrinsically different, as although one was indirect and the other straightforward, both stressed flexibility and thinking on one's feet. JKD was so unusual that it didn't even have kata to memorize, and would therefore be extremely difficult to learn to counteract.

"Capoeira!" This was another of Lee's favorites – it was a dance: a complex, deadly dance. Although he wasn't as good at it as he was the others due to the complexity, he worked hard on it and ingrained the basics as deeply as he could into his muscle memory.

"Kuk Sool Won!" Lee switched again, this time a bit more clumsily. Kuk Sool was more focused on using lower stances and graceful movements, emphasizing joint locks and pressure points. It was more like Aikido in that way.

Utakata, noticing that Lee's muscles were beginning to strain a bit too much, called an end to the day's practice before scooping the child up into his arm. "A-ah! U-Utakata onī-san?" The quiet teenager gave Lee a rare smile. "You did very well today, Lee-kun. Rest up a little; I'll bring you home. We're having fish tonight, and Tarantu's going to be there."

Lee smiled. "A-Arigatō…" he said happily.

He wondered when the Family's odd abode had become 'home' to him.

* * *

Kuro sizzled the fish over the fire in the spider frying pan, which was an iron pan with three legs to keep it over the fire. She, like her father before her, cooked fish in soy sauce. The kids loved it. She flipped the fish over lazily to cook the other side before turning to Sara.

"You're sure?"

"One hundred percent."

"Good. You'd better be there to bail me out."

"I keep my promises." Kuro grinned and hugged her. "I know, you crazy bitch." Tarantu, sitting next to them, smiled. "I hope you know what you're doing, Kuro." Kuro snorted. "Do I _ever_ know what I'm doing, Nēnē?"

They all laughed.

"'Kā-chan, 'Kā-chan!" A yellow blur ran down the side of a tree and landed lightly next to the trio. It was Naruto – and he was wearing nothing but a long, animal skin loincloth with flaps in the front and the back, along with another that went between his legs to preserve his decency. He held up a scroll with a crudely drawn seal painted upon it. Kuro took it from him and held it delicately, as if it was the most important thing in the world.

She immediately spotted a few mistakes, but it was surprising – for a beginner, this was amazing. Kuro smiled. "Wow, Naru," she exclaimed. "This is really very good! You remembered every part of the seal, which is very hard to do. The only thing I see wrong with it is they way you've connected all the parts, but it's very good otherwise." She beamed at him. "I'm proud of you, Naruto! You've done very well!"

Naruto blushed and smiled shyly at the praise. He loved being told he did something well, especially by 'Kā-chan. After so many years of being called a failure, being praised was the best feeling in the world.

As Kuro explained where Naruto went wrong in his three-part storage seal, Utakata landed next to them with Lee in his arms. Tarantu smiled at them. "Hey! The fish is almost done, so just sit tight and wait for a bit, okay?" Utakata nodded and set Lee down, whereupon he leaned into Tarantu's side to rest.

"What did you two work on?"

"On what did you two work?" Kuro corrected. Tarantu smacked the back of her head, making her giggle and turn back to what she was doing.

Lee outlined the work he and Utakata had done that day, from the practicing kata and different moves to sparring to switching from style to style on a dime. Tarantu beamed at him. "It sounds like you did well," she praised, rubbing his shoulder as she beamed at him. "I'm so proud of you." Lee grinned happily at the praise. He only saw Tarantu every other week, but he still adored her. She was everything he'd ever believed a mother should be, all rolled up into one package. He practically lived for her visits.

He'd admit that he got a little jealous of the fact that she had kids back in Suna who got to be with her all the time, but mostly accepted that he wasn't one of them. At least he had her some of the time, and the rest of the Family the rest of the time.

"Dinner's ready!" Kuro announced, taking the pan off the fire and putting portions of fish onto each plate. She then passed them to Tarantu, who put a generous portion of rice on the side, as well as a few stalks of asparagus. She then handed the plates off to Anko, who passed them down the circle to everyone. It was peaceful in the Forest of Death that night.

Elsewhere, it wasn't.

* * *

Burning.

It was all burning.

Flames lapped up the walls, eagerly devouring anything in their path. The inferno was too large – too large to be put out, to large to be contained, too large to do anything but sit and weep. The once proud and majestic Uchiha district was up and flames.

Sasuke screamed, tears running down his face as he attempted to run into the inferno before he was pulled back harshly. His shock turned to anger as he fought mercilessly against his attacker. "L-Let me g-go! I have to…to help!"

Two strong pairs of arms enveloped him in a tight hug, shocking the young Uchiha out of his stupor. "A-Ani…ki?" For the first time in his young life, he looked to his brother to find that he was shaking with unsuppressed sobs.

His once strong older brother, the one on whom he could always depend to be his rock, his anchor, was crying.

All the anger drained out of him, and Sasuke, too, cried.

* * *

Kuro paused suddenly in her eating and looked up, ignoring the pieces of rice on her face. Fū looked up at her. "'Kā-chan?" Kuro looked at her. "Eh, it's fine," she dismissed, licking up stray pieces of rice outside her mouth with her tongue. "Just thought I heard something for a minute." She smiled at her daughter and went back to her food.

She'd sort through her feelings of guilt later.

* * *

The next day, everyone was in an uproar. The Uchiha district had burned down, and all but two Uchiha had died. It was unknown how they'd been unable to escape or put out the flames before it was too late, and, on the flipside, everyone wondered how the two survivors had escaped.

Hiruzen, for one, was highly suspicious. With a fire, there would be at least a few survivors, and much likely few deaths. As a fire-wielding clan, they made sure to have proper precautions in place in case a fire jutsu went out of control. Someone must have neutralized all of them and made sure the Uchiha were asleep before setting the fire. He knew it wasn't Itachi's doing: Itachi had plans in place to take care of the issue with his clan in a much different way, and would never change plans without discussing them, especially on such short notice.

It didn't matter that they were all dead; Hiruzen actually breathed a sigh of relief. Now Itachi wouldn't have to kill his family and live in exile. However, what did matter was the way that they had died. Someone purposefully killed all of the Uchiha clan save Itachi and Sasuke, intentionally or unintentionally saving Itachi from having to do it himself. The two questions, therefore, at the forefront of his mind, were 'who' and 'why'.

Itachi took Sasuke from school for a bit as they came to terms with what happened. With a miniscule amount of the Uchiha fortune, the two were able to get a relatively nice apartment closer to the center of town.

The Hokage had released an official statement that detailed the cause of the fire as a jutsu that had gone out of control. The only one who knew otherwise was Itachi, as the Hokage had shared his suspicions with him. However, he was under orders not to worry about it yet: Hokage-sama forced a leave of absence upon him to recuperate and take care of his little brother for the time being.

Itachi was thankful that he couldn't do missions: Sasuke was in a state of shock, and needed care. All the two had was each other at this point, and Itachi would do the most vile things imaginable before he would ever let himself even entertain the idea of thinking of letting his brother down.

The fire couldn't have come at a better time: Itachi had been going to kill Shisui that night.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kuro got ready to put the next part of her plan into action. She'd recently finished a few seals that could be used on kage bunshin: one made all of its experiences, instead of appearing in the user's head at inconvenient times, appear on a piece of paper that the user could touch to absorb the information at a slow pace. Another forced a henge to stay in suspended animation, so it could never be disabled. Yet another allowed the clone to stay for longer periods by breaking off their connection to the user and absorbing chakra from other sources.

It was a big breakthrough, but Kuro wasn't about to make this seal public – she was going to use it for herself.

Kuro made thirty clones before having then all henge into people of all shapes and sizes, from petite with slender shoulders, long white hair and very fair skin to tall and rotund with dark skin and short hair. She then stuck the seal onto each of them, which she then combined to shape into a slender black crescent moon on their left hips. Knowing their mission, the clones all disappeared into the thick underbrush.

There were several disadvantages to the seals Kuro had made: the clones were useless in a fight, as they had the bodies and chakra control of a civilian; they weren't able to copy as many of Kuro's traits as a normal clone; they couldn't handle alcohol; they tended to be somewhat moody. Nevertheless, they would suit Kuro's needs just fine.

She grinned to herself. Things were looking up.

* * *

Tarantu leaned into her pillows as she read the letter. Anko had written to her, telling her of the Uchiha District fire, where a jutsu had gone wrong and everyone had died except for the two youngest in the clan, a boy genius named Itachi and an Academy student named Sasuke. Tarantu frowned. That hadn't happened in the original timeline – they must have been changing things more than she thought.

Anko didn't seem to be overly worried about it, expressing her annoyance of the Uchiha clan in great detail. The rest of the letter was flirtatious and very Anko-like. Tarantu blushed beet red at some of the things she'd written. With a sigh, she drafted a letter back.

_Anko:_

_I was shocked to hear of the Uchiha-ku Fire. I feel really bad for the two children especially. Judging by your letter, however, it must've been their karma come back to bite them in the ass. Still, Itachi-san and Sasuke-san must be feeling horrible. At least they have each other._

_Things are pretty well over here in Suna; Gaara's gotten much better at taijutsu and was able to beat Kankurō a couple of times, which is a huge step forward for him. He's also rapidly improving with his kyoketsu-shoge skills. His ninjutsu skills have begun to plateau, unfortunately, but this gives us an opportunity to work on his other skills as well. He's shown an interest in healing as well, so I've gotten permission to teach him basic field medicine. He doesn't have the chakra control necessary for more than beginner medical jutsu, but I'm confident he can still learn quite a bit – he's a very hardworking young man._

_Temari's getting much better at identifying poisons and creating antidotes and she's eager to start making her own. I'm confident she can do it; she's got the analytical capability for chemistry. Her wind jutsu skills are slowly but steadily improving, and she's in the process of learning a new one right now. Her taijutsu skills are the best out of the three kids, and she's learned to look forward to her days off where she plays with her siblings. She even made a friend – as a merchant's daughter, she's not here all the time, but that just guarantees that she doesn't have preconceived notions about Temari._

_Kankurō's foray into genjutsu is turning out terrifically! Now that he's reading a lot more, his imagination has grown and he's able to make more complex illusions. Of course his main hobby, puppetry, is still his primary focus. He'll only use genjutsu as an assisting technique. Still, he's doing a lot better. He's really getting into sealing as well, and is incorporating that into his puppet designs._

_The three of them love to go outside and play whenever they can, as well as immersing themselves into their hobbies (Kankurō's learning the shamisen!). I'm so glad that they're starting to enjoy their childhood instead of training all the time._

_My own training is going well, but I'm also doing shifts at the hospital now, due to an influx of injured ninja. I'm a bit worried about it: are there stronger enemies out there, or is it more that they're taking too highly ranked missions for their ranking?_

_Otherwise, things are going pretty well; I like to visit Chiyo obā-san a lot, since she and her brother, Ebizō ojī-san, have a lot to say. They don't really get to talk much to anyone, since they hole themselves up in their house all day, but once you get them going, it's hard to keep up!_

_Yashamaru's still on his mission, but he'll be back soon._

_Anyway, I'd better go; it's time to start making dinner, and we're having fish tonight, which is a real treat!_

_All my love,_

_Tarantu_

* * *

The next day held another hospital shift for Tarantu: a very stressful hospital shift.

"There's another one, Tarantu-dono!" Tarantu wiped the sweat from her face. Jesus, whose friggin' idea was it to make her a medic-nin, anyway? She couldn't save people's lives! She rushed over to the next patient, quickly washing her hands and putting on gloves and a mask along the way. Her patient this time was a dark-haired nin who'd apparently been poisoned.

Tarantu took a scalpel and made an incision – she knew this guy's file pretty well, and for some reason, poison stuck to him a bit more than most people. Therefore, she had to cut him up a bit to make sure she got most of the poison out.

She began the jutsu and, slowly but surely, sucked up all the poison she could before dropping it into a sterilized container and handing it to a nurse to analyze. Tarantu healed the man's incision and relaxed as his vitals steadied.

She was so sure she was going to mess that up… Sighing, Tarantu began to wash her hands once more before she was called again. "Tarantu-dono, come quickly! A team just came in, and they're in a bad way!"

Her heart racing again, Tarantu pulled her surgical gloves back on and raced towards the next room, her scrubs billowing about her. "What's their status?" The words came easily to her mouth, her body moving on autopilot. This wasn't the normal Tarantu anymore. A different persona had come out: a Tarantu who easily took charge, who had been created the moment she'd been forced to leave her family and leave behind weakness.

"One has a puncture to the lung and heavy internal hemorrhaging due to a burst superior mesenteric artery; another has crushed legs; the third has an unknown amount of damage to the lower spine and severe burns up the left arm."

"Show me to the hemorrhaging one." The nurse led Tarantu through the doors of the operating room. Due to her hurry, she didn't even check the identity of the person she was healing. "Anesthetize him," she ordered. The patient was put under, with an oxygen mask over his face. She ordered immediate blood transfusions (blood type AB) and got to work, making an incision on the patient's lower abdomen.

Blood.

There was blood everywhere. With every heartbeat, more blood squirted out and all over Tarantu's scrubs. It wasn't too surprising; that particular artery branched off the aorta, which was connected directly to the heart. Mentally cursing, Tarantu quickly placed a suction pipe into the wound, which took care of most of the blood. Then she began another jutsu to heal the artery. As soon as that was fixed, Tarantu moved her hand up to the chest (where she thankfully didn't have to make an incision) and took care of that.

By the time she was done, Tarantu was panting heavily, sweat pouring off her face. A nurse helped her into a chair, letting her watch as other medics tended to the other members of the ANBU team.

As soon as she got her bearings, Tarantu left the OR and took off her bloody scrubs, washing up thoroughly. She'd finish up her paperwork tomorrow: right now, her bed was calling.

* * *

Fū was super excited. Ever since she'd been hidden away in Pépère and Mémère's house, neither she nor her team had been on any missions. Now, Gai-sensei was going to be taking them on their very first C-rank.

The team entered the mission office (which Iruka-sensei was staffing that day), Fū so eager her insects were humming – one, her large rhinoceros beetle which she used to communicate with the other jinchūriki, was perched upon her head. "Iruka-sensei!" she greeted happily. "We're here for a mission!"

Iruka-sensei smiled at them. "Yes, that's why most people come here. What kind of mission would you like?" Gai-sensei grinned. "Yosh! My Youthful Students and I have Agreed that, to Fan our Flames of Youth even Higher, we would Like to Try a C-Ranked Mission!"

It was a testament to Iruka-sensei's composure that he didn't do more than twitch at the overly-enthusiastic jōnin's display. "Well, what kind would you like? We have bodyguard duty, a wild animal running loose, and weeding a garden."

"Weeding a garden?" Fū asked curiously. "That sounds more like a D-rank. What makes it a C-rank?" Iruka-sensei smiled. "Ah, I'm not surprised you caught that, Fū-chan. Actually, this garden is quite close to a city of bandits and rogues. They don't usually come close to the customer's town, but it's enough to boost the mission ranking."

"Ooh!" Gai-sensei exclaimed. "That Sounds Promising! What do you think, my Cute Students?" The trio looked at each other. It sounded acceptable, with just enough of a thrill to it to make it interesting. Who knew? With their luck, they'd probably have a run-in or two with some overenthusiastic bandits, and if not, then it would be a good starting C-rank.

Fū grinned at Gai-sensei, giving permission to proceed.

They would take the mission.

* * *

Tarantu woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. It was a nice day out, with a rare drizzle (she never thought she'd think of rain as a miracle; but then, she'd never lived in the desert). She smiled and got up, got ready for the day, and went downstairs for breakfast.

"Oha –," she began before stopping. The Kazekage was sitting at the breakfast table (a truly rare occurrence), along with the three children, all of whom seemed to be in shock about something. "Kazekage-sama," she said with a low bow.

"Tarantu," he greeted. "I have come with an important message." There was a pause as he gestured towards a chair. "Sit," he ordered. Tarantu did so, feeling ill at ease. Something very big was happening, and she wasn't sure she was going to like it.

"Yesterday, Yashamaru and his team came back from their mission in very bad condition."

Oh.

"Yashamaru had heavy internal bleeding and a punctured lung."

Oh no.

"While he was healed well, his heart failed sometime during the night."

Oh gods, no.

"Unfortunately, no one on duty thought to check up on him, and he passed away. The will reading is scheduled for next week." The shock was too much for Tarantu; heedless of being before her boss and children, she began to sob.

* * *

Kuro was thrilled and terrified to hear that Fū, Kimimaro, and Haku were all going on a C-ranked mission. She kept her fussing over the three to a bare minimum, but she was sure her nervousness shone through.

Either way, que sera, sera; whatever will be, will be. "Just remember," she simply said, "that none of you are ever allowed to die." Fū laughed and waved it off, but Kimimaro simply nodded.

Jūgo seemed quite concerned as well, and stuck by Fū and Kimimaro's side more tightly than usual. It was easy to feel the waves of concern come off the empathic boy. He still seemed to understand that there was nothing for it, however, and kept quiet about his worries.

Kuro calmed herself by rationalizing that all three of them lived safely in the Forest of fuckin' Death, and they hadn't died yet – plus they were with Konoha's number one taijutsu specialist and elite jōnin, Maito Gai. They were at least at chūnin level at this point, and worked together seamlessly.

They'd be fine.

And yet she was still worried for them.

In one way, it was a blessing: the fact that her empathy had begun to return was heartening, to say the least. Before, she'd had such strong empathy that she'd had to suppress it, causing her emotions to be suppressed as well. Being able to feel her emotions again was a big step forward.

So Kuro rejoiced in her worry for the children, and yet refused to allow it to show.

* * *

The team set off early the next day, Fū eagerly heading out. "In which direction are we headed, Gai-sensei?" she asked with a wide grin, her orange eyes dancing merrily. He answered in his usual flamboyant way, which, when cut down into something recognizable by the normal human, said, "Northwest".

It was a beautiful day, with picturesque clouds streaked across the sky. The forest animals were happily going about their business (which was readily apparent to the trained ear), and the sun shone just brightly enough behind the clouds.

"Yosh!" Gai-sensei exclaimed happily, pumping his fist. "Let us See how Quickly we can Get there!" Fū grinned. "Yeah!" she yelled. "Kimi-nī, Haku-nī, let's go!"

It was obvious that, despite everything, Gai-sensei still underestimated them a bit. It wasn't a bad thing: in fact, it showed how sensitive he was to his students and their potential failings. However, that never dampened the satisfaction the trio felt at the look of utter shock on his face as they whizzed past him.

* * *

A small, pale woman, barely on the cusp of adulthood, sat on a park bench. She had long white hair that reached her waist, looking so soft and fluffy that it practically begged to have fingers run through it. Her eyes were large, with the right one a clear, watery blue and the other a light, bright amber. She had a very slight frame, and yet had lean muscles.

"Nēnē!" a young, childish voice called, the pitter-patter of little feet hurrying towards her. This young girl also had pale skin (though not as pale as the first), with orange hair which was cropped short in a fluffy pixie-cut. Her large eyes were a striking gold and almost seemed to be outlined in kohl. "Did you choose yet, Nēnē?"

The older woman smiled at the child. "Yes; my first name will be Koyuki, and my second name, of course, is Victoria. My third name will be Kiyoye. Have you chosen?" The young child nodded happily. "First is Hinata, second is, obviously, Jemima, and third is Mitsuki."

The young woman – Koyuki – smiled. "Aah, it fits you, Hinata-chan," she said. "Do you know about the others yet?" Hinata shook her head. "I know as much as you do, Nēnē. Are you going to sign up for a class?"

"I need to get a job first, Hinata-chan," Koyuki reminded her. "I need to get into acting. I know the Water Country daimyo is into modern productions – especially musicals – while the Earth Country daimyo is into dramas. If I can prove my worth and rise up, we can go places."

"But won't I be in higher demand?" Hinata argued back. "I'm adorable, and I can act as well as you can. People would be lining up to get to me." It was true – Hinata would be in high demand, and the money would be rolling in if she got out there.

Koyuki smiled. "Yes, that would work, wouldn't it?" Hinata grinned. "So we'll do it?" she asked happily. Koyuki sighed. "Yes, yes, you win again, Hinata-chan."

* * *

Tarantu wouldn't do anything, really. For the past two days, she'd been barely more than a zombie. She hadn't done much more than go through her daily routine in a daze, answering her children's questions and concerns noncommittally and staring off into space quite a bit. She spoke to her family through her interdimensional communications device (a mirror Sara had given her) and they gave her plenty of moral support, which kept her grounded for a bit.

Then it came time for Kuro to come over to Suna for their weekly meeting.

"'Ran nē-chan!" she called, waving happily at her sister figure. "I've got a story to…" Kuro trailed off as she looked at Tarantu. "Hey, you okay?" She didn't look to well, at least emotionally. There were dried tear tracks running down her face.

Given that she wasn't paying Kuro any attention, Kuro decided to ask one of the kids what the hell was happening.

It was Kankurō who'd explained. With each word, her face lost more of its expression, but when he'd finished, she smiled at them. With their visits, she'd grown a soft spot in her heart for the trio, and was almost an aunt figure.

She ruffled his hair. "'Kay, guys, I'm going to go talk to your mom for a minute. Please ignore the violent noises and screams of pain." Then she skipped up the stares, ignoring the children's long-suffering looks due to overexposure to Kuro.

Kuro then opened the door to Tarantu's room and slugged her in the jaw. Tarantu looked up at Kuro angrily. "Goddammit, Kuro, what the –"

"You're a fool." This was surprising enough to make Tarantu shut up in a way that went completely against human nature and only happened in manga and badly-written stories.

Kuro looked down upon her friend, a stony look on her face. "Do you have any idea what you're doing? It's okay to grieve, and I would totally – fuck, I mean you've got family, 'Ran. They're grieving, too. Why the hell are you holed up in your fucking room all day when they've lost their uncle and might as well not have a mother anymore?

"You've got to be the strong one here, Tarantu. Right now, they're getting through this alone. D'you think their 'father' would help them get through it? NO! Right now you're being useless. If you're going to grieve, which I totally approve of doing, by the way, then do it with your kids at least. If something like this makes you ignore them, then you deserve to be their mommy about as much as the Kazekage. They've come to depend on you, and you're doing a crappy job of it. At least the Kazekage doesn't raise their hopes only to leave them hanging."

Tarantu obviously felt horrible at this, as she started crying again. "Jesus, 'Ran, get a hold of yourself!" Kuro exclaimed in embarrassment. "They'll forgive you; you just need to get a move on, ask for their forgiveness, and get through it together."

Tarantu calmed down quite quickly and looked up at Kuro with a watery smile. "Thanks," she said softly, accepting the handkerchief Kuro handed her. Kuro blushed and looked away. "Yeah, yeah, just remember that you've got to snap me out of temporary foolishness as well."

* * *

Team Gai had finally reached the point where it was dangerous simply to continue running through the woods at top speed, so they slowed to a walk and allowed Fū's insects to scout the area. All but Gai were breathing more heavily than normal due to their kilometers-long run, so they conserved their energy by walking in silence. Even Gai was quiet, but he had a big grin on his face, presumably due to his pride that he had Such Youthful Students.

Fū smiled suddenly and ran up to her sensei. "Gai-sensei!" she said, waving her hands about wildly. "Is there any kind of manga you like? I brought some along with me – the new issue just came out yesterday!" Gai stared at her in utter shock. It wasn't that she'd said anything out of the ordinary, no – it was that she'd used perfect Konoha jōnin hand signaling to relay another message: enemy surrounding; don't look; plan?

Gai quickly grinned and answered her earlier question. "Yes, I happen to like…" and he answered back using the hand signals.

No engagement until enemy attack; capture, no kill unless necessary.

Fū gestured in the affirmative while grinning and continuing the conversation. Gai looked back towards Kimimaro and Haku, seeing their affirmative gestures as well.

Well, this was probably something he should mention to the Hokage. How on earth had they learned that?

He wasn't able to question it much longer, however, as they were suddenly converged upon by a large group of bandits. He glanced to his students, only for his eyes to widen in surprise as none of them showed any fear: Haku was simply continuing to smile gently; Kimimaro had his usual blank/bored look on his face, Fū… Fū was grinning dangerously.

"Excuse me, did you need something?" Haku asked with his usual polite formalness. One of them (an obvious fool if he didn't see all the signs pointing to the fact that they were ninja, i.e. the hitai-ate) spoke with a grin. "Yeah; yer on air terr'try neah." Before they could question what the fuck he meant by that obvious butchering of the standard language, he began to draw his sword.

Unfortunately for him, Kimimaro was faster and drew out a small rib (one of the lower ones), sharpened it, toughened it, and cut the man's blade off at the hilt. He then used the momentum from his swing to continue spinning and doing a reverse-roundhouse heel-to-the-face, probably breaking the man's jaw and sending him flying. Haku did a few hand signs and froze his hands and feet together, making him howl in pain at the burning feeling of ice sticking to him.

All this was accomplished within three or four seconds, at the most.

The bandits all froze, finally seeming to realize that they were up against professionals. The three genin looked to their sensei for further guidance.

Gai-sensei glared at the bandits. "You should leave if you value your lives," he said firmly. And with that, the bandits ran.

* * *

Kuro's visit had helped bring Tarantu back to reality and brought into light just how much she depended on her. And yet Yashamaru's death had really hit her deeply; he'd become like a brother to her, and had always been there for her. He'd helped her raise the children and learn their needs and hidden selves; taught her to fight and overcome (some) her fear of hurting others; and so much more.

She idolized him.

And yet Kuro was right; she had a right to grieve, but she was being negligent in ignoring her children. Gaara seemed to be taking it the hardest, since he'd always been more emotive than his siblings, while Kankurō and Temari tried to hide their grief, which wasn't healthy.

While Gaara was by her side the entire day and even slept in her bed, the other two seemed to be even more closed off, nearly undoing all the work Tarantu had put into them to get them more in tune with their emotions.

Tarantu made breakfast the next morning, pointing out the different aspects of making waffles to Gaara, who was clutched to her apron, whenever she could get out a few whispered words without her voice cracking. She touched him a lot, making sure he knew she was there for him, and stood mostly in silence. Tsubasa was perched on Tarantu's shoulder, grooming a few pieces of hair he'd pulled from her ponytail.

When the waffles were finally done and they all sat at the table eating their breakfast, Tarantu had finally had enough. "Kids," she said softly. "It's okay to be sad for…" her voice cracked and she tried a different tactic. "Bottling it up is unhealthy. It'll build up and explode at bad times."

Suddenly finding a good argument, she followed that train of thought. "See… Like when you're on a mission and you've had a really bad week; you get mad and become sloppy, which can lose you the mission. If you go through your feelings and deal with them, then that won't happen."

There was a moment of silence in which Tarantu hoped she'd said the right thing. Then Kankurō opened his mouth. "Well…" he said softly, "I guess…if it can put the mission at risk, I can do that."

"Yeah," Temari agreed. "If we don't deal with it, it'll break our peace of mind. So I guess we can do that." Tarantu smiled in relief. Now they had an excuse to cry.

And they could finally start to heal.

* * *

Kimimaro and Haku had finished up setting camp for the night, while Fū had made a nice campfire and was cooking rabbit and squirrel. Their captive was tied up with strong ninja wire in a very complex knot courtesy of Gai-sensei.

Speaking of Gai-sensei, they knew they were in for an interrogation. Knowing the jōnin hand signals was a breach of security, and for a genin team to know it was curious, if not suspicious. Fortunately, they couldn't be questioned at the time because they had a captive who could hear what they were saying. Unfortunately, it didn't stop them from worrying about what would happen once they were alone.

Haku fed their captive some squirrel meat and berries for his dinner, and despite his incoherent protests, he acquiesced.

"Gai-sensei," Kimimaro whispered in their tent that night, "what are we going to do with the captive?"

"We let him go in the morning; he's just a grunt, so he doesn't know anything. He'll be of no use to us." Gai-sensei glanced at Kimimaro, his arms crossed. "Tell me where you learned it."

"Sara onē-san gave us some scrolls. She got them from Hokage-sama – they're old friends – and we figured we could use the information. I don't think Hokage-sama would consider it a breach of security because he trusts Sara onē-san's intuition; he might be upset at her for a bit, but he knows she knows what she's doing."

Gai-sensei gave him a stern look. "Let's leave that up to Hokage-sama."

* * *

Kuro walked into the room, lifting a hand in greeting to Hiruzen and nodding to the others who had arrived. She was dressed in her normal sweatpants and boys' t-shirt combo with her hair up in a ponytail at the base of her neck.

As usual, she dressed like a boy.

Seating herself in a chair next to Aburame Shibi, she smiled at him and put her chin on the table, gazing at Hiruzen.

He cleared his throat. "Everyone has heard," he began, "of the terrible tragedy of the Uchiha clan."

'No, I live under a rock. Or in a tree. Yeah, that last one.'

"Due to this tragedy, I'd like to add some preventative measures to at least the clan compounds to minimize the risk of fire." Kuro raised her hand about as high as her face. "Yes, Kuro?"

"You mean to tell me that we live in the Land of _Fire_, in the Village Hidden by the _Leaves_, meaning surrounded by _trees_, where nearly everything is made of _wood_, and no one's taken fire safety into concern? What the hell kind of logic is this? Do we live in a manga or something? This sounds like a bad plot twist."

Behind Hiruzen, Sara snorted.

Hiruzen nearly banged his head on the table. Overlooking something like this was pathetic. They were lucky the Uchiha were the only victims – or perhaps it wasn't luck, but instead something planned in advance…

"Apparently so," he said morosely. "Kuro, I'm especially worried about you." Kuro looked up quizzically, and Hiruzen hastened to explain. "You don't even have a clan compound. You live with ten people inside a tree, which is highly flammable."

Everyone did a double take. "You live in _what_?" Tsume asked in disbelief. Kuro grinned and sat up. "I live inside a tree in the Forest of Death," she said proudly. "I hollowed out an area and live inside."

Sara refused to hold it in any longer and laughed aloud. "You sound so proud, Ro." Kuro snickered. "You know me!" she exclaimed before turning to Hiruzen. "Well, I don't think it's that big a deal," she said more seriously. "All we need is an anti-inflammatory seal."

"Those exist?"

"No. Well, not yet, anyway." She grinned. "I'll just need to figure out the logistics and we can paste them anywhere we need it. It shouldn't be too hard; I've already figured out how it'll need to work." Hiruzen nodded happily. "Will you be willing to share the seal with everyone?"

Kuro gave him an odd look. "Why wouldn't I be?" she countered. "As far as I'm concerned, keeping things like this from each other only separates us; Konoha is one entity, not a bunch of different parts that happen to live together."

There was a pause.

"You know you hate them all, Ro."

"Of course. I hate you all and your pathetic human race. You will all be annihilated." She snorted and laid her head on the table again. Shikaku then spoke. "Wait, how come the fire spread so quickly?"

"Because they were all a bunch of assholes full of hot air." Kuro cracked up at this. "Wait! That doesn't make any sense! There are a lot of assholes around here coughHyūgacough, but they're not being punished for karmic imbalance."

"Maybe the gods are saving up for something big."

"Or there's a more sinister reason – why the Uchiha? Why now? Heck, we don't even want the 'why', we want the 'how'. The fire shouldn't have spread that quickly, jutsu accident or not. Even the timing is suspicious. All the Uchiha were there at the time except two, and they were close enough to witness it without being caught up or able to help. Unless some higher deity is messing with us or it's a big coincidence, then I don't trust the circumstances."

Hiruzen sighed and lit his pipe. "All right – this doesn't leave this room." He gave Kuro an amused, yet weary look. "I can never get anything by you, can I, Kuro?" Kuro blushed. "Sorry…" He waved off her apology. "It's fine; the true story, however, is that we don't know how the fire started. I do suspect foul play, and we are on the lookout for the perpetrator. Unfortunately, we won't know anything more until the forensics team finds something."

He suddenly glared at them all. Kuro looked on in interest, yet still keeping her body language as unthreatening as possible. This was the feared Hokage of Konohagakure, the Professor, one of the most powerful men in the world.

This was a predator greater than Kuro, and someone to whom she must submit to keep her life.

"If I hear anything of this outside this room, then nothing on Earth can save you from my wrath."

* * *

**A/N: Okay, there'll be more coming soon; my muse is making up for the time she was away, and she's giving me information for things further ahead than Naruto's Chūnin Exams! Graargh, it's so good but I can't use it yet!**


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